Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Pokemon...
(Chapter 3: Museum Mayhem)
The recreational vehicles finally entered Pewter City, and Delia and Dawn both heaved a sigh of relief. It had been a very long night, with several stops to get coffee, but the Pewter museum was a stone throw away. "We're here." Captain Obvious, also known as Sabrina's dad, called out to the people in the back.
"Halleluiah." Sabrina muttered. "Can we please get this boring tour done with as soon as possible?" Her mother sent her the equivalent of a scathing look, to which the gym leader replied. "What? I'd sooner watch paint dry." This time her mother chose to ignore her.
Ash banged his head on the window as the RV parked in front of the museum. "Is there the option of watching paint dry?" He questioned. He personally would rather eat his foot than step into a museum. It was part of his list of things never to do. He hadn't even been there the last time he passed through Pewter City. Pikachu, Mr. Mime, and Kadabra had devised a new game. It was called "Chase around the mouse pokemon with brooms."
The occupants of the three vehicles stepped out onto the pavement in front of the museum, the city's most magnificent building. It was a huge stone structure made completely out of Pewter City's gray stone. It was three stories tall with a stone belfry, and extended at least a block in each direction. Leading up to Plexiglas doors was a series of about thirty steps, all of course being gray colored. A tour guide stepped out from the structure and to the group of waiting tourists.
"Hi my name is Ralph and I'll be your tour guide." A nasally sounding (and boring) man was the tour guide. He seemed like the kind of guy who would wear a plaid shirt with khakis and suspenders, but because of the museum's dress code was forced to forgo the plaid and suspenders for something less tacky. Ralph turned and signaled the adults to follow him. Like a herd of Mareep they did so. Ash, Sabrina, and Gary made silent gagging noises to the other younger members of the group.
The group of young trainers reluctantly followed the adults through the doors, where they paused before Ralph handed out lanyard museum passes. Ash and Sabrina received two extras, which they put around their pokemon's necks. The passes were plastic cards, which hung on rope lanyards and granted the wearer access to all of the museum's exhibits. Sabrina pondered their usage as a makeshift noose, and proceeded to share the idea with Gary. He snickered.
"Please follow me." Ralph interrupted and began leading the group towards the fossilized pokemon exhibit.
Meanwhile, another much smaller group pulled up behind the other RVs in their metal death trap. The three members of Team Rocket stumbled out and began kissing the ground. "When those breaks failed, I thought we were goners." James whimpered.
"Especially when our RV drove into the center of traffic." Meowth added.
Jessie growled. "I can't believe that the two of you never thought to check the break fluid! We could have died several times back there." The other two looked at the red-haired woman. "Well what would you expect from a RV we got so cheaply?" James answered. The human members of the team glared at each other before spotting the three tacky recreational vehicles of Team Twerp. "At least we're alive to capture the pokemon for the boss."
Jessie smirked and added, "And maybe pick up some priceless artifacts to steal."
"Hey! Check this out!" The youngest of the group gained the other's attention as he pointed to a large Roman mosaic depicting a violent battle. "That is so cool!"
Ralph turned back to the group. "Please refrain from speaking during the tour. Thank you." Caroline turned around and shushed Max, then continued to follow the boring tour guide.
"Mom, can all of us please go back?" Sabrina begged. She indicated her fellow trainers. Ralph looked ready to argue, but Sabrina was ready for him. "I mean, you did such a good job describing the exhibits that we're all eager to go back and re-live them." Ash looked at Sabrina smile sweetly at the tour guide. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw her eyes flash red for a moment.
Whatever the cause, Ralph relented. "Well I guess so. But if you feel like joining the tour again later, feel free to." Sabrina's mom gave her a funny look, but didn't say anything. Before he was dragged off, Sabrina's dad whispered frantically: "Take me with you!"
The trainers watched the adults until they turned the corner, and then they ran back towards the previous exhibits, snickering madly.
"Hey, check this out." Max laughed, standing in front of a mummy case. He grabbed his nose and cleared his throat. "Now if you would kindly stop falling asleep out of boredom and look to my left you will see the mummy of some dead guy who ruled some country. I'm so boring that I haven't bothered to look for a name because people fall asleep before I say anything." He mocked Ralph. Ash chuckled and took his turn at mockery of boring tour guides.
"Now this thing is cursed. One touch will cause objects to stick to you like ugly sticks on me." Ash sounded like some stuffy upperclassman, with his nose turned upwards and he mimed sipping tea. He stepped over to May, who was pretending to snore and sleep. "You! I'm not that boring." The group broke down into laughter. The two pokemon, not wanting to be left out, began to walk around with their noses in the air. That was before they ran into a tapestry and moved on to something else.
Kadabra and Pikachu stood in front of the tapestry, striking the same poses at the warrior pokemon on the tapestry. They even put on the same determined faces as their tapestry counterparts. Ash laughed again, and stood behind the two and made his own warrior pose. The others laughed at the three, and then they all drifted in separate directions.
It was at this moment that Team Rocket decided to pop out of their hiding spots and ambush the group.
"Prepare for trouble," Jessie shouted, leaping out from the same cursed mummy case. She was dressed up like an Egyptian queen. "And make it double." James added, stepping down from out of a Roman chariot. He was dressed like a Roman emperor. The two finished the motto and Meowth leapt down, wrapped all in bandages like a mummified cat.
They waited for the typical "Team Rocket" that the group would normally shout after the three made an appearance. But a minute of being ignored and Jessie growled. "How DARE they ignore me for some musty old artifacts!" Meowth removed the bandages around his head. "If they're interested in musty and old then I don't see why they wouldn't be interested in you." A vase was shoved on Meowth's head.
Hundreds of paper plates sat vacant on the table, the leftovers of Ash and May's feeding frenzy caked onto the cheap material. The others watched, their single plates only recently cleared. Gary and Sabrina were placing bets on who would eat more. Currently Ash was in the lead.
Also competing against each other were Pikachu and Kadabra, who were busy gulping down as much ketchup or syrup as possible. Their competition was more of a grudge match than anything else. Plus, they knew of their contest; the two human eaters didn't.
Ash let out a monstrous belch, then resumed eating. May went to get another slice of pizza off the main plate. She paused and looked at the others. "What are you guys doing?"
Max scratched a scab on his knees. "Watching Ash eat." When the answer satisfied May and she began eating again, the others began watching the two again.
"Boy, am I stuffed." Ash burped and continued walking. Behind him May hummed happily. "So now that we're done eating, what should we do?" Ash looked at her. "Don't ask me. I haven't a clue what there is in a museum." Max and May slapped their foreheads; Ash never surprised them. Entering the hallway behind them, Pikachu wobbled about, uncomfortably full but satisfied about his victory against Kadabra.
Over in the modern art section, Sabrina and Gary exchanged the spoils of their little bet. Gary fingered the five crisp twenties before he pocketed them. "I knew Ash would win." He said smugly. The gym leader merely shrugged. "You only won because you claimed him first." Kadabra slowly followed, a green tinge on his face. He felt horrible about losing to a Pikachu.
Sabrina pointed at a very unique picture that hung on the wall. "Say, what do you think about that piece?"
Gary put a hand on his chin in mock concentration. He waited a few moments as he chose his words. "It's an astounding work of art...or it might have been, if a Muk hadn't thrown up all over it." The two cynical people of the RV caravan snorted and continued making harsh remarks about each piece of art. Kadabra ran off to be sick in another hall.
"These humans here were very smart." Meowth commented as he and his fellow teammates walked through the Egyptian exhibit. "They worshipped cat pokemon like myself." His eyes grew big and sparkled as he imagined a group of people at his beck and call, all dressed like Egyptians. He himself wore countless jeweled objects, and his gold charm was replaced with one of the finest lapis lazuli. Two of his servants were Jessie and James, and even his boss was busy serving him food.
Meowth was smacked back into reality as Kadabra ran by, joining up with his trainer near the front of the museum. The whole group was assembled there waiting for the two pokemon. Meowth pulled himself off of the wall and watched the group hungrily. "Now's our chance!"
"Say Jessie," James interrupted. "What did you do to the mummy that you took out so you could hide in its case?" Jessie snorted. "I shoved it into one of those huge urns next to the doorway. Why?" James looked horrified. "But Jessie, the hieroglyphs on the sarcophagus say that anyone who desecrates the body will be cursed to endure the static curse."
Jessie eyed the blue-haired team member. "You and your morals...hey! Since when can you read Egyptian?"
"Never mind that," Meowth blurted, "The twerps are leaving!"
"You know, that was actually pretty fun." Gary admitted. He was sent a glare from his grandpa and Sabrina's dad. Delia and her sister laughed and continued to walk to the RV, only stopping when they saw what was happening.
Mr. Mime, in his quest to make Ash's mom happy by cleaning the house, had succumbed to boredom and cleaned the inside of all three vehicles. He was currently expanding his radius of cleanliness by cleaning the area around the three RVs. At the moment, the mime pokemon was chasing down a businessman, who made the unfortunate mistake of littering within Mr. Mime's sanitary zone, with a broom.
The others took a minute to watch this odd display. Kadabra was the one to break the silence.
"Kadabra..." (He's touching me...) The trainers looked over to see Pikachu pointing at the Psi pokemon, not touching him. But Pikachu's finger was dangerously close to Kadabra's upper arm. "Chu pika." (I'm not touching him.) The mouse smiled innocently. Sabrina and Ash sweatdropped as the two pokemon continued to bicker in the same way again. It was going to be a long summer...
(Meanwhile...)
"But I swear..." Jessie began. "It was all their idea! They made me take the mummy out of the case!" She was being escorted to the museum's jail room by two burly museum security guards. "Sure they did..." One commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the artifact-covered redhead. "Then why aren't those two covered with stuff?"
James and Meowth could only watch helplessly as Jessie threatened them both as she fought to free herself from the guards' grips.
(To Be Continued...)
It was a long way in coming, but the chapter is finished. I have some of the other chapters planned out, and am working on the next chapter right now.
After a storm forces the group to pull off for the night, the twerps find themselves staying at a creepy hotel. Watch out for the ghosts, and steer clear of the creepy janitor down the hallway in the next chapter of: RV There Yet?
