A/N: Hi everyone! Once again, the response to this story has been overwhelming to say the least.
Please note: A portion of the dialogues in Episode 136: The Trouble with Love was used in this chapter (manipulated to suit my purpose).
I'd also like to address several matters/comments that was repeatedly mentioned (by separate individuals) either via PM or reviews.
First, is regarding updates which I don't mind people asking for. It's flattering and as long as the expectation is realistic, harmless. My stand on the matter is posted on my profile and I leave you with one last statement regarding the matter: Chapters don't come out of thin air.
Second, is the supposition that my hatred for Rini had led to her elimination from my other stories and apparently, the assumed outcome for this story as well. There are several reasons why this is the only one of my stories that features the pink haired child: 1) I didn't want to write about a character I have no patience for. 2) I try to be objective about every character I write (I don't see reasons to subject them to prejudice or bias simply because I don't like them). With Rini, the dislike is intense and I feared I might not be able to be objective with her. Those are my main reasons for not writing her in my other stories. The mention of my main fiction TOBITF where S&D have other children and not Rini made with the above conjectures bothered me. Rini was not eliminated in TOBITF. She simply didn't exist in the first place!
Let me tell you how I met SailorMoonForever to whom this story is dedicated to. It was through her daunting fiction Father Figure. I didn't have an ff account yet but she was posting a few chapters a day and I couldn't help but be drawn to it. There was a character of a child in the story which got my mind turning. How would I write a child of Darien and Serena? What would they be like if I could or do write them? Instead of one child, my mind conjured sets of twins. And that my dear readers, was how TOBITF was born: inspired from a character from a daunting tale by a very talented writer. The conception of Darren, Darryl, Sara and Suri Shields had a lot less to do with how much I hate Rini and a lot more to do with my idea of what Serena and Darien's children would/should be like especially with such a kind hearted mother and a charismatic intellectual father.
Thirdly, a lot of readers mentioned this fiction to be cathartic for them. For that I'm relieved and grateful. But there are also many expecting for me to write Serena going all out angry. If you're here expecting me to write a tale of Serena filled with blind hatred, DON'T. She is hurt and lashing out but her anger will be justified and will be portrayed in such a way.
Writers I believe, leave a piece of themselves behind in every piece they wrote. And while I'm a person who believes that words can hurt more than a fist, I'm also a person who believes that integrity and dignity speaks louder and more clearly than any overdramatized spectacle. I also believe that cool disdain can be every bit as effective, if not more so, than shouted outrage.
Make no mistake, I have no love for Rini. But when I chose to write her in this story, expect for me to deal with her accordingly. Writing her out of existence in this case, in my opinion, would be a short cut to lazy writing. I am neither lazy nor a cheat. Pretending a problem doesn't exist won't solve said problem. Rini being gone won't change the fact that the Scouts were uncaring and sometimes cruel friends nor would it change Darien's outward indifference and unintentional callousness.
Okay, now that we've got all of that out of the way, *sheepish apologetic smile for a much needed rant* I'd like to thank everyone for the support/interest to this story. Thank you for reading, following and/or favouriting and thank you for all the reviews. As with the previous chapter, there are quite a number of reviews, so I'll thank you here in the beginning and apologise in advance for any seeming abruptness on my part. It isn't in my nature to brush people off but as it is, I think this A/N may be just as long as the chapter itself! ;p So here goes. Thank you ever so much:
Trish1573: I'm glad that TOBITFis still your favourite and gladder still that the chapter takes your mind of your worries even for awhile :) Wonderwomanbatmanfan: I'm glad you thought so! ;) devafiend: Okay, okay! LOL. Here you go! And yes, she will, in her own way! ;) Syulai: I really like how your thoughts always seem to mirror my own (in your reviews for CBTM as well. Thanks so much for those!). I love how you see my stories and interpret them. It's like you're able to see clearly what I'm trying to say :) chikibum: LOL. Here you go! ;) The Geek Princess: LOL. It seems that it did! ;) I don't mind the rant. Rant away. I agree with everything you said. Panda: You're welcome! I hope you'll like this chapter too ;) Kissesncake: Oh! How I wanted to as well! ;p Cheery Tropay Venturi: My dislike for Rini never went away either but I do like Darien (when he's not being callous and oblivious that is) Hope you'll approve of this update ;) beaucoup riant: I'm glad! Here's an update! Enjoy! ;) nickybluejess: You'll see parts of it in this chapter ;) CherrySerenity-sama: I'm really glad you agreed with me. Your opinion matters to me :) Lady Kunoichi: I'm glad! I did write my own version of the breakup arch but it was written from a different angle (to redeem Darien and the Scouts). This one is to redeem Serena and is harsher than CBTM. As for Rini, I'm trying to write her objectively. We'll see how that goes ;) new-desi-serena: I'm sorry but I was only able to understand parts of your review but I'm glad you liked the story and hope you'll like this update as well. PS: My Italian/Spanish/French are not very good but I do understand them if you want to leave your reviews in any of the languages :) yunacarman: I think it's her way of loving him that's inappropriate. But yes, I agree with you, Darien is way too easy on Rini, unacceptably so! purplelarkspur: That last part was actually written first before the rest of the chapter. I'm glad you approved :) As for Darien's and Saori's thoughts, I think as you read more of my work you'll find that I try my best to portray each character as fairly as I can ;) No, Serena shouldn't just settle and she won't. I promise! And regarding TOBITF, of course it's okay! But I'd love to know what you thought of it so far ;) Lady chaos: I'm glad! Here goes nothing! ;) GraphicsChyk: I know :( They will realise, in due time. Annabel Willow: Though I wouldn't quite put it exactly the same way, I do agree with you! Read on to find out! ;) BostonBill: Here it comes! Agree and agree. Good! ;) Nubia: I feel bad for Serena too… Here's your next chappie! ;) Leslie wjack: Agreed! Again, agreed! He will, though not right away. I hope this is not too late… ClassAct107: I'm glad you gave this story a chance despite your first impression of it. I'm gladder still that you see dignity and class in it. Thank you :) Mourn4Me: Glad you thought so! ;) Guest (1): LOL. I'm glad. She's facing the Scouts and Luna in this chapter. Read on to find out! ;) kera69love: I'm glad you liked it and I agree with everything you say. I'm afraid there is no fixed update. I won't force my writing because I find that to be the best way to ruin a story. You don't want that do you? ;p cross-over-lover232: I'm afraid I don't see her with anyone else. I love Seiya and I think he's good for her and her self-esteem but Serena's greatest strength is her loyalty and her ability to forgive. Darien's not too bad. Just a tad damaged and scarred. SailorMoonFan: I'm glad you thought so and I agree. :) Words have weight and when used the right way, they hurt more effectively than the fist and lasts longer as well. halenahaloway: I'm glad you thought so! ;) Here's the next chapter. animegirl336: Here they come! Enjoy! ;) Guest (2): So, should I apologise for not making you cry this time? Sorry. I'm just kidding. I know what you mean and … I will fix this relationship (promise!) but… it won't happen overnight. Biche: I'm glad ;) Here's the next chapter and you're most welcome! escape-reader.13: LOL. Here you go! ;) bunny88rosemagic: Hi there! I've been missing your reviews on TOBITF and S+D=ss+dd and it's good to hear from you here :) LOL. It's not mean to ask for an update. It's flattering ;) Serena has a lot to say to the Scouts and some of it will be said in this chapter. A bigger say will happen in Part 4 (I think) serena princess 2:I'm glad and you have my word I'll keep writing :) Here's the next chapter. AimlesslyGera: LOL. You're probably right! But watching an episode is a lot easier than interpreting and translating them into written narratives. ;) Here's your update. Hope this one counts! ;) skyjadeprincess: You're most welcome :) I agree with everything you said and hopefully I'll be able to make it work in this fiction I'm writing. Wish me luck! ;) CowabungaBabe95: I'm glad! Here's your update! ;) Infinite: I really hated it when she came into the picture too…And it really is unfair how Serena was treated. I hope you'll like this next chapter ;) SerenityShields: I'm so glad! And you're very observant. I am taking the same approach with this story as I did with CBTM where I start off with scenes from the anime and then going off in my own direction and twist. But I fixed Darien and the Scouts in CBTM making them the way I want them. Here in PC, I'm making Serena the way I want her. bunnie915: I'm glad! Here's the next chapter ;) Guest (3): LOL. In my mind she had twin boys and twin girls! I even wrote it into my other fiction, TOBITF ;) petites sorcieres: It's not in me to hate or judge blindly and even though I don't like Rini, it's still not reason enough. There's usually a reason to everything and I hope to explore that in this story and I hope you'll stay till the end because I really love your take on my writing and agree with everything you said about the characters as portrayed by the anime. *sigh* they really don't treat her like the princess she is, do they? You're welcome and thank you for your very insightful review. I wish I could say more to do justice to your beautiful review but other than my stories and academic writings, I'm usually not very good with words. I do apologise and hope that you approve of this chapter as well :) yoonsyk: LOL. As long as they're dark chocolates! ;) Ouch! I'm youngest to a sister several years older than I am and I hope she NEVER sees me that way! Well, actually, I'm pretty sure she doesn't! ;p Anyway, I agree on your take although I don't think its limited to Asian cultures only. I'm an avid reader and being multilingual, I tend to read stories written by authors from different backgrounds/cultures/countries. It's a scenario that happens all over the world (in my opinion). But yes, I strongly agree with your last statement, it's never okay to be bullied, even worse when it came from those you consider friends and a child should always feel loved in her own home. Lunar Cadet: Hey there! I'm glad you agreed and approved ;) And oh! I cringed too! *sigh* I wish he's as passionate about Serena as he was talking about Saori in that episode. It's unintentional but would still hurt just as much. Ah well, we'll see what I can do about it ;p Guest (4): Here you go! xXx-ReBeCcA-xXx: I'm delighted! ;) Here's your update. I hope you'll like it. tsuki107: Oh! That's a great compliment! :) Guest (5): I'm glad you thought so. Here's more! ;) Guest (6): LOL. Here you go! ;) Sblck: I think Serena's kindness is one of her greatest strength but you're right, she needs to stand up for herself and in this story, she will. ;) xXSakuraBlossomsXx: I'm absolutely delighted you thought so and thank you for the special mention of my Sara & Suri. :) Can you just imagine Rini in TOBITF? ;p TheMoonsPanda: I'm really glad :) She's very disrespectful and I too get uncomfortable watching her with Darien. It just feels wrong to me. The issues you raised will be addressed in this story though not all at once. UsaMamo1989: Brilliant that you thought so! ;) Emily: Wow! I'm glad you see my writings that way as that was my aim. It's a beautiful compliment and a beautiful review. Thanks ever so much :) JJen.A: I agree there's a lot whole more to Serena that went by unnoticed which hopefully won't be anymore once I'm done with this story ;) And don't worry. TOBITFis never far from my mind and will be updated as much as I can. Promise! :) Guest (7): LOL. There are probably a lot out there that we haven't come across yet. But here's more of my version ;) tinyNecile: I'm glad you liked it ;) I don't like the way Serena's treated either and I definitely don't like Rini.
SailorMoonForever: Finally! LOL. *squeal & hug* You know I love you but…I don't think I can give up my books…NOPE! Not even for you! I go into withdrawal without my books. How then do you expect me to complete this story?
Telepathic communications / thoughts are in Italics.
(Standard disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters. All characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.)
Perfect Couple (Part 2: Playful Camaraderie, Pejorative Comments)
Serena's Bedroom (Sunday Morning)
Serena didn't want to wake up. Afraid of the black pit of misery that may lay waiting for her once she let awareness slid into the comforting blanket of sleep. Unfortunately, she wasn't given much choice on the matter as Luna jumped onto her stomach over the comforter.
"Wake up, Serena! You have a study session with the girls today and then training." The black feline guardian ordered sternly.
Disgruntled, the reincarnated Moon Princess simply pulled her cover more closely around her and firmly burrowed into the bed. "It's Sunday, Luna," she mumbled out tiredly.
Undaunted, Luna started to burrow her way into the comforter but when she couldn't find any opening to the Serena burrito, the guardian cat improvised and scratched her ward on the only surface available to her, the scalp.
"Oww! Luna! That really hurts!" Serena said as she sat up on the bed, rubbing the sore spot.
"Well, if you had gotten up when I asked you to…" Luna looked at her unsympathetically as she went on to lecture, "Honestly Serena. The fate of the world rests on your shoulders. You have to learn to be more responsible. This laziness is unacceptable."
Serena frowned, "I'm not lazy, Luna. I'm just tired. It's Sunday. Yesterday was a long day."
"Rini's already up. And she got back later than you did yesterday." Luna retorted calmly and then added as an afterthought, "And what were you thinking letting her come back on her own that late in the evening?"
The mention of her future daughter brought a twinge of pain to Serena's heart. She remembered what was said yesterday between her and the pink haired child and even though a part of her was sorry, a larger part of her was not.
She closed her eyes for a moment, and recalled everything else that had transpired the day before, the enormity of what she had done yesterday.
I broke up with Darien, she said to herself, and waited for the pain to strike.
After a few moments, those eyes opened with calm acceptance instead. She was blessedly numb and was grateful for it. She was totally fine with being numb. She'd even be okay with anger. It was the despair that she was trying her hardest to put off, for as long as she possibly could.
"Are you going to get ready? Or do I have to scratch you again?"
"You go ahead with Rini, Luna. I'll join you a bit later," Serena answered firmly.
Luna started to say something but anticipating her, Serena put a hand up signalling for the cat to stop. The gesture of command was so rare from her that Luna immediately obeyed.
"I'd like to walk on my own Luna," Serena said by way of explanation.
Cherry Hill Temple
Serena absently walked up the steps to the temple, lost in thought. But as she approached Raye's room, a sense of foreboding filled her and her chest tightened with the knowledge that she would probably be in for another long lecture and disappointed disapprovals from everyone in the room she was about to enter. She almost regretted her decision to show up slightly later than even her usual tardiness. Almost, but not quite, her somewhat rebellious heart assured.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed the negative thoughts aside, forced herself to smile her usual wide smile, slid the door open, and froze at the unexpected sight that greeted her.
Darien who looked really good in a salmon coloured shirt, was sitting very close together to Amy who looked particularly scholarly in a yellow shirt complete with a red tie. Their heads bent together over Amy's workbook.
For a moment, her breath caught in her throat. Somehow, they looked so right together, equally proper, equally clever.
Attuned to her, Darien looked up and was promptly on his feet. His heart clenched at the sight of her. A volatile mixture of worry and confusion, hope and fear swirled in him as he nervously walked towards her and bent down to greet her.
She shifted her head away so that his kiss landed to the side of her head instead and ignored the protests of her heart that just for a weak moment, yearned for the kiss, scolded it when it dared to remind her that she could not remember the last time he had kissed her and kissed her properly.
She shook her head, unable to speak for a moment and then, raised her head and forced herself to look directly at him.
He was watching her, she realised, with grim and hurt eyes at her apparent rejection.
"What are you doing here, Darien?" She questioned tersely.
Sensing the tension between the two, everyone stopped talking, and came to the wrong conclusion.
"Jealousy just arrived," the casual remark came from Raye and Rini at exactly the same time.
Serena glanced down at the child currently sitting on the priestess's lap on the floor, completely unsurprised by their comment or their apparent unanimity to one another.
"Darien comes to study buddy to help all of us learn, Serena," Mina announced, the slightest note of scolding in her tone as she mistook Serena's silence as a tantrum of jealousy about to erupt.
Perhaps it was because she was usually the one that had her back, possibly it was because she was the most like her, maybe it was because she was the least likely to put her down or perhaps it was simply because she was Mina, the mistaken assumption and the slight note of scolding from the leader of her Senshi, her guardians, the blow was unexpected and made a dent to Serena's unsuspecting heart. Shaking herself clear of it, she sent the blonde a smile and a nod in acknowledgement and wordlessly started to move away from Darien.
He stopped her however, with a gentle touch to her arm. The look on her face, just that split second of hurt before she covered it with the smile had hurt him, and hurt him deeply. He was surprised by the intensity of the feeling. Guilt swamped him when he realised that he wasn't just experiencing his own pain at observing her discomfort, but also her pain at what she perceived to be as a lack of trust and faith from one she considered friend.
"I thought I'd join your study session and help out," he said gently as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, smiling both consolingly and hopefully as he continued, "then maybe afterwards we could have lunch together, and have our talk?"
Serena's face was expressionless as she once again pulled away from him, answering him offhandedly as she took a place opposite to Amy across the table. "I was under the impression that we were having lunch here and studying till late afternoon before training till evening."
It hurts, he realised, a deep throbbing pain in the pit of his stomach, a slow twisting twinge in the heart and a frantic terror that rose to his throat, constricting his breathing when he realised that she wasn't going to make it easy for him.
And so, he went back to sit next to Amy to consider his next move, all the while considering her. She's Serena. She won't stay angry for long. I'll just have to make it up to her and make sure she knows that she was wrong in thinking that I don't care. I just have to show her that I do care. It will be fine. We're meant for each other, he tried desperately to assure himself.
Sensing Darien's discomfort, Amy started to make light conversation with the upperclassman. "Are you sure you don't have your own studying to do, Darien?"
"Well, I have a paper due on Friday but the apartment above mine is being renovated. I can't really concentrate with all the noise that's coming from up there," he supplied, a slight worry to his tone.
"You could always stay here, Darien. There's lots of room, for as long as you need," Raye offered, not even aware of the slight pleading, hopeful note to her suggestion or of the hand that was on her heart that betrayed her subconscious lingering feelings for the Earth Prince. "I'm sure Grandpa would be okay with it."
Maybe it was fate or maybe it was coincidence, but the man in question chose that moment to drop in his granddaughter's study session and Raye immediately forwarded the question to him.
Grandpa Hino jovially replied, "It would be a pleasure to have you stay at our temple, Darien. Mi casa es su casa."
"You're positive this won't be any trouble Mr Hino?" Darien asked uncomfortably. His instinct was saying that this was a bad idea. A really bad idea, he thought, but it would be rude to back out of it now, he sighed resignedly and glanced warily at Serena.
"Grandpa," the elderly insisted, "Any friends of Raye's can call me Grandpa. I'll wake you at daybreak for chores."
"Grandpa, he's got classes tomorrow. He can't do chores." Raye interjected, exasperated and slightly embarrassed.
Raye's grandfather studied Darien who was now standing up with Diana in the palm of his hand. He took in the good looks and the charisma, and his look became speculative. "You don't want him to do chores, huh? Guess you must really like the boy!"
"Uhh…He's a friend," Raye supplied helplessly, her face now red with further embarrassment at her grandfather's teasing.
Ignoring her, the elderly just went on, "You know, someday I expect to have lots of little great grandbabies crawling around here and Raye will need someone to help her run the place while I play with them. You look like you're in shape, clean cut too. If you have half a brain, you'd be an excellent candidate."
Darien tensed and involuntarily shot Serena another nervous glance.
Serena merely smiled sweetly at Raye's grandfather, "Don't worry Grandpa Hino," she said softly, "Darien is very clever. Raye and he would make a beautiful couple. They'd give you beautiful grandbabies, Grandpa."
She then let her gaze fall on Raye and held, "I can completely picture it," she smiled almost winsomely at Raye's open mouthed stare and continued, "The two of you are so stunning individually. You'd look stunning together at the wedding and your babies would be stunning too, dark and exotic," she said without any malice.
The Scouts were speechless. Normally Raye and Serena would be engaged in a tongue war by now and the rest of them would either be ignoring them or trying to break them up. But the solemn, calm way that Serena reacted, took everyone by surprise that they were left silent even after Takeshi Hino took his leave.
Darien felt the knots already winding through his stomach yank tighter. His mouth had gone dry and there was a sour taste to it. He shook his head slightly but still couldn't find the words, miserably aware of a great searing fear, of intense loneliness that he hadn't felt since he first met her.
Finally, it was Diana that broke the silence as she importantly declared, "Don't worry future Queen. I'll watch over him. It's plain to me you guys really don't trust each other. So I can stay here as well as chaperone,"
Shaking the uneasy feeling building at the pit of her stomach, Amy interjected lightly, "Serena knows she has nothing to worry about. Raye and Darien are just friends, like brother and sister. Ever since those few dates they had."
Rini looked thoughtfully from Darien to Raye, "I never knew they went out."
Mina laughed uncomfortably as she too attempted to ease the tension with light teasing "They say you never forget your first love."
Lita laughed uneasily at that. Trust Mina to make it worse with her mixed idioms, she thought to herself, not even realising that the Scout of Love had actually gotten her phrase right this time though naturally with unintended consequence.
The brunette hasted to rectify the situation, "But they were so young, it was just puppy love." Again with unintended consequence because the thought her words brought to Serena's mind wasn't exactly comforting. Puppy love or not, it was still love. I wasn't even his first love, the resentful thought made its way to her psyche and buried to fester.
Just as oblivious, Amy heaved a relieved sigh. "Right," she said, "Now Raye is ready for true love and is on the lookout for Mr. Right."
A dark bitterness settled in Serena's heart as she looked from Raye to Darien to Rini, "Well, I'm not the only one, you think Raye is a good match for Darien too, don't you, Rini?"
She almost laughed when both Raye's and Rini's jaw dropped, again, in unison, and went on without waiting for their reply, "Of course you do! I almost forgot the incident with the curry when Darien dumped me over the nightmare and you tried to match him with Raye."
"Lucky that didn't work out or you wouldn't have been born, Rini! Next time, leave the matchmaking to the expert!" Mina's seemingly clueless response saved the day and as everyone decided to occupy themselves back in their studies, mostly to avoid the nagging sense of doom each felt and preferred not to face, Mina studied her Princess with a heavy heart. Something's not right, the Scout of Love thought with worry, I'm sensing immense hurt and resentment from her. Baffled, she turned to study Darien as well. 'Did something happen?' she wondered and erroneously dismissed the thought. Serena's not resentful. She's Serena!
And so the studying went on but because Serena wasn't really herself, the session was not as lively or cheerful as usual. In fact, it was almost lifeless and filled everyone with a sense of restlessness.
"You have to remember that the key is quadratic equation. That will give you the answer," Darien's patient explanation to Amy had Serena looking up at them.
She had felt his gaze on her more than once and had chosen to ignore them, ignore him. But now she studied his bent head that was so close to Amy's as they both worked through a particularly hard problem in her workbook.
"I'm so silly. Here I was trying to apply Pythagoras theorem when the answer was right under my nose." Amy laughed at herself and Darien laughed with her.
"You're a whiz at geometry Amy, just like everything else. I really enjoy working with someone who is very interested in learning."
"Thanks, Darien. And you're an excellent tutor. We all think so." The slight flirtation was definitely involuntary but did not go unnoticed by Serena.
"Well, math is easy to teach." Darien's reply had the two intellects laughing easily together once again as Serena continued to watch silently.
It bruised her already battered heart and further diminished her already tattered self esteem that he could be so affectionate with her friends and yet so indifferent to her, that he could be so concern towards their feelings and needs and yet so oblivious to hers.
I can't remember the last time Darien and I bantered that easily or the last time he paid that much attention to me, she thought, hurt and despair finally rising to fracture the wall of numbness and indifference that she had managed to hold on to before.
Seeing how quiet her friend was and not liking it, Lita playfully teased, "You're not jealous of Darien and Amy, are you Serena?"
Darien abruptly looked to Serena and felt his heart start to race with terrible fear at the empty look he saw in her eyes. His heart thudded a mile a minute as he fought to keep the panic down. Why on earth couldn't he read her eyes? He could always read her eyes if he looked hard enough!
He couldn't stop himself from reaching out a hand to her across the table, "Serena…" he started to plead.
She merely studied him thoughtfully and did the same with Amy before tuning back to Lita with the same winsome smile she had before, "No Lita, I'm not jealous," she answered her friend, "I think Amy and Darien would make as beautiful a couple as Raye and Darien."
Turning back to Amy who could actually feel the blood rise up to heat her cheeks but was too stunned to say anything, Serena once again sized her up calmly before announcing, "And Amy is Darien's intellectual match. They'd have a bunch of intelligent genius babies."
To say the Scouts and the cat guardians were stunned would have been an understatement. Her lack of concern totally astounded everyone.
Serena's smile turned mischievous as she studied Lita and turned back to Darien and spoke almost conspiratorially to him, "I know you don't see it, but sometimes I think you need a bit of mothering and Lita is great at that." She nodded decisively before continuing, "You and Lita would make a beautiful couple too. All that common ground and independence, the two of you would be really happy together."
She studied her friends one by one. She felt isolated from them. Alone, in a way that she had never felt before. A churning sensation in the stomach coupled with an emotional yearning to be accepted as one of them without having to try so hard all the time. All the time.
"You are all really beautiful," she told them in a low voice filled with awe and sadness at the same time as though she was the only one who wasn't.
Turning back to Darien, she gestured to her friends, a proud smile on her face, one that didn't reach her eyes, "Aren't they, Darien? Wouldn't you agree?"
"None as beautiful as you," he dared to voice out, his voice husky with love, gruff with worry.
"Isn't it surprising Darien, that Mina is the only one I don't see you with?" she asked as though he hadn't said anything, "She's too much like me. Isn't that funny, Darien? I wonder what that says about us."
Lita couldn't stand it anymore. She took hold of Serena's arms and turned her friend to face her, "Serena. What's wrong? Are you alright? You were awfully quiet the whole day and now you're just talking nonsense. What's going on?" she demanded in concern, the vacant look on Serena's face deeply troubling her.
Serena seemed to remember herself. The worry in Lita's eyes and voice seemed to bring her back and gave her the strength not to give in to despair.
"I'm okay, Lita. Nothing much to say I guess."
She was conscious of him staring at her. Could feel his concern. But she had wanted so much to lean on him, to depend on him before, and he had let her down, countless times.
Raye's response was knee jerk, "You? With nothing much to say?" she mocked, to cover her own apprehension. This was a Serena that she had never dealt with before. One, she didn't quite know how to deal with.
Serena winced inwardly. For some reason, after her outburst with Darien, she found that her tolerance level was down to almost zero. That the anger and hurt, once let out just wouldn't stay locked anymore.
"Better to say nothing than to say something stupid, right Raye?" she tried to keep it light though her smile was tight.
"It's probably because she saw Darien and Saori kissing yesterday," Rini threw in carelessly.
"Rini!" Darien's face was taut.
"What?!" Everyone else's was shocked.
"Though I don't understand what the big deal is," Rini went on as though no one else had said anything, "It's not like he kissed her. She kissed him and he already said he was sorry and everything. Serena's just being her usual bratty self is all."
"Rini, I think you've said enough," Darien said quietly but firmly, his face flushed with trying to hold in his emotions. He couldn't help but wonder if Serena was right. Had he really let Rini get away with putting Serena down this badly? To be so disrespectful and so tactless and condescending? He couldn't have!
He looked Serena's way uncertainly and could tell how dejected she felt and felt his own heart hurt for her. But then turning at Rini's innocent face, he felt like he was caught in a trap, that no matter how hard he twisted and turned, there was no way not to get hurt, no way to escape unscathed.
"Is this true, Serena?" Mina asked quietly, gently. Her protective instinct took over.
When Serena didn't answer, she turned to Darien, "Please tell me that you weren't stupid enough to be caught in a situation like this?"
Darien raised both arms up, palm out in a gesture of surrender, "It was a misunderstanding."
"What? Did her lips fell on you? Or did you mistake her for Serena?" Mina asked sarcastically.
Ever the peacemaker, Amy stepped in, "I'm sure it really was a misunderstanding, Mina." Turning to Serena, she cautiously asked, "You don't really think Darien would cheat on you, do you, Serena? The two of you are meant for each other. Rini said he explained and apologised," she inserted soothingly, not realising that her placating and taking Rini's words was seen as yet another betrayal.
"Of course she doesn't believe that Darien would cheat on her!" Lita was quick to intervene, "She wouldn't be so calm otherwise! If something was wrong, she'd be marking her territory, making sure no one else is hitting on her Darien!" the brunette insisted, almost desperately and laughed to cover her uneasiness and concern.
"He's not mine. We broke up." Serena said it so calmly and so straightforwardly and unemotionally that it took a moment before what she said actually sank in to everyone else.
"Serena," Luna finally stepped in, "You do realise that your actions have consequences, right?" she asked slowly, as though talking to a child, unaware of how patronising her action was.
Before Serena could reply, Rini spoke lazily without even bothering to look up from the story book she was reading, "I'm still here, Luna. If she's seriously breaking up with Darien, I'd disappear. She's probably just milking it."
Serena stared at Rini, studying her carefully before she spoke, "How?"
Confused, the little girl looked up and shifted uncomfortably at the look that was on Serena's face, "How what?" the little girl asked, determined to hide her fear and guilt.
"How am I milking it?"
"You're acting out."
"I'm not crying. I'm not whining or complaining. I'm not even demanding an apology or an explanation from anyone. How exactly am I acting out?" Serena demanded calmly, not taking her eyes off of her future daughter. Sighing tiredly she added, "I don't want to fight with you, Rini. I'm too tired. He's all yours. I'm not fighting with you for his attention. I don't want his attention. He's completely yours. Shouldn't you be happy? Why are you still so disgruntled? You wanted him all to yourself and now you have him, to do with as you pleased." She couldn't stop the sarcastic note or the innuendo that came at the end but at the same time couldn't bring herself to care anymore either.
"Serena, that's entirely inappropriate." Luna scolded.
That does it. The wall of cool composure and indifference that she had managed to pull off before went tumbling down and Serena was up on her feet in an instant as she faced the black feline.
"What's inappropriate, Luna? If we want to talk about impropriety, we could talk about two of my guardians, my best friends, openly flirting with Darien whom they assumed to still be my boyfriend just now! One also happens to be his ex girlfriend, and the other, under the pretext of studying! Without a thought or consideration to my feelings! Without even being aware of my feelings! Without even caring if I had feelings in the first place! Is that appropriate?"
Amy was horrified, "Serena, I would never," the Sailor Scout of Wisdom couldn't even finish her sentence. Not that she was given the chance to.
"Intentional or unintentional," Serena cut in curtly, her voice low and dangerously calm, "the attraction is there, the mutual admiration for each other's intellect is there. Given the chance, it could grow. After all, nobody here thought I was smart enough for him anyway."
"Serena," his firm, paternal voice just made her angrier and she whirled on him, "Don't use that tone with me! I am not your child, Darien!" Pointing at Rini, "She is!" Turning back to Luna, "And let's talk about the least appropriate thing of all, shall we Luna? Let's talk about the kiss Black Lady shared with Tuxedo Mask and how I'm supposed to feel about the fact that my future daughter is in love with my future husband." An involuntary shudder racked her body, disgust and revulsion came at the image she couldn't quite erase from her memory.
"Serena!" Six voices gasped all at once, completely mortified.
"Oh! Did I spoke out of turn?" Though they were mildly sarcastic, her voice and tone were both quiet now, filled with hurt and confusion, "Did I just mention something that was to remain unsaid? As though it never happened? But it did happen, didn't it? It wasn't just some nightmare that I dreamt out, was it? Or maybe, maybe I was so jealous of Rini that my mind just made it up?" She felt completely lost and broken.
"Serena, that was uncalled for." His voice was filled with pain and remorse that all the fight went out of her.
She just didn't have it in her to fight anymore. Hurting him was never her intention. She loved him too much for that. She just wanted them to know that shewas hurting too. She just wanted him to love her enough not to hurt her either!
Taking a deep breath, she relented, looked deeply into his tormented sea-at-midnight eyes and conceded. "I know," her tone just as quiet, her eyes just as anguished, "I guess I'm angrier than I thought."
But the expression on her face wasn't one of anger, accusation or even sarcasm. It was one of complete bewilderment and defeat.
She looked around the room at the people she loved the most and yet she couldn't quite see them the way she used too. Her heart couldn't quite believe that they loved her just as much as she loved them. She felt completely alone and completely lost.
She sighed tiredly. "I think I'd better leave. I think I need a break...from all of you...for awhile at least. Maybe spend some time with my friends."
"But we are your friends, Serena." Mina's voice held a note of pleading to it.
"I'm not without friends besides all of you. I have other friends before I met you girls." Her curt response startled the girls and indirectly reminded each one of them that while she had in fact been their first friend, they were not hers.
Slight guilt overcame Serena at the stricken look on their faces, and again, as in her nature, she relented and instinctively sought to soothe, "I've been neglecting them."
Except, the statement she made, made her feel worse when she realised how true it was. She hadn't spent much time with Molly, Yumiko or Kuri since she became Sailor Moon. It also crossed her mind that those girls had accepted her for who she was and had loved spending time with her, without ever putting her down in the process. It made her resentment grow even more to recognize that knowledge and before she could stop herself, the words were out. "Surprisingly, they actually like me, and actually miss having me around. They don't find me too lacking or too inferior either."
"But Serena, you can't just take off whenever you want. You have responsibilities. You don't have the luxury to be selfish and irresponsible," Luna reminded her sternly.
"But that's just it, isn't it, Luna? I am selfish and irresponsible, at least according to everyone in this room. Why would it be out of character for me to just take off or not show up in the first place?"
Posted on fanfiction: 20 October 2014
A/N: The title chosen for this chapter is to show that Pejorative Comments, even hidden behind Playful Camaraderie are not always subtle and more often than not, are very hurtful.
I don't tend to force my writing. I write what comes to me when they come to me. I write what I see/hear in my head and what feels right in my heart. I hope this chapter meets everyone's approval. Review and let me know what you think. Rant all you want. Vent if you need to. But please, NO FLAMES and NO Request for Spoilers.
