A few days had passed since I found out about my history. I had avoided leaving my apartment and in that tried my best to avoid Robin as I knew if he saw me he would start asking questions. The last thing I wanted was to let him in on my hurricane of a life. And along with that I had come to the conclusion that leading him on even if it was to flirt was out of the questions. I knew that love was not an option knowing how dangerous it would be to be around me.
Monday came along and I was set to meet Angie to start my first day. I woke and had some breakfast. Angie had let me know that the work attire was casual so I decided to wear some skinny jeans, black flats, fitted red tank top under my black leather jacket. I curled my short hair and put my makeup on. I had decided to go with a natural look and a red wine lipstick. As I walked out to catch the cable car I took my phone out of my bag to check the route I would take. I had decided that bring a car to San Francisco was not smart at all, since the traffic was as bad a New York's it's just a lot better to take public transportation.
As I arrived to the office I informed the receptionist I was set to meet Angie. Angie then came out to greet me and take me into the conference room where we went over all the policies and procedures and had me sign forms to start officially working.
"Alright, so this would be your office. You will be sharing it with the lead of the program. Since we are a non-profit we are tight on funds therefore tight on space. Just comes with the job you know?" she said smiling.
"Oh well at least I won't be lonely." I replied.
"So he will be back in a few minutes to give you a tour and get you all set alright. Happy first day!" she waved as she left me in the office.
I began to settle in, and looked over the binder that Angie had given me of the program I'd be running. She had given me handouts of the recent events that had gone on in the past to give me a feel of what their goals were. There was a flyer for an upcoming event called "Play for Hope" It was targeted for raising funds for kids who did not have instruments at home so that they could be given ones. As i looked at the contact information it read 'Contact Robin for information on performing' Robin? I thought. It can't be the same one. Now that would be just freaky.
"Wow." I hear a familiar voice say.
I looked up from the flyer to see Robin standing in the doorway.
"No way." I said with a smile.
Robin was the program lead! I could not believe it, all I could do was smile.
"Ms. Mills are you following me?" he teased with a smile.
"I'm sorry Mr. Locksley, I think I should be asking you that questions. First you move in to where I live and now you decide to work where I will be?" I replied, still smiling at him.
"Ms. Mills if I may correct you, I have been living in San Francisco and working here for the past 5 years," he said approaching me "you are in fact following me."
He was standing close to me. He was wearing a green jacket, a brown shirt and blue jeans. His eyes were as blue as ever. I stood up and smiled at him. "Just give me to tour Robin."
He snickered, and extended his hand out to me. I stood in silence looking at his hand and back at him with a bit of a confused smile.
"You know the drill." he replied prompting me to recall the morning where he asked me on a date.
I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face and place my hand on his, he rubbed his thumb on the top of my hand and said "Milady, would you do me the honor of letting me give you the tour?"
"Robin, just give me the damn tour!" I replied to him with a smile that I could not erase.
"Fine, fine. I just wanted to see that beautiful smile of your before we got started." he said to me rubbing his thumb on my cheek.
"Robin.. we are at work." I say still not being able to help my smile. "We're going to get in trouble."
He just shook his head still smiling and stood next to the door. "After you milady." he said .
I giggled and walked out following him.
He gave me a tour of the entire building. He showed me the art rooms, the theatre, and the rooms where they took pictures and made movies. I met some of the kids that were working on some projects and they all seemed so happy. By the time we were done going through the entire site we had gone back to our desks to get familiar with the paperwork of the program, it was lunch time.
"So, I assume you must be hungry by now. How's about I treat my new boss to lunch?" Robin offered.
"Boss?" I said stunned.
"Well yes, you are the manager to the program where I work so you are my boss."
"Well being your boss, I think I should treat you to lunch don't you think?" I asked, not realizing that I began to get closer to him.
"Now, beautiful woman, I am trying to get you to go on some kind of date with me, and you are ruining my attempts by offering to pay my meal." He said also getting closer to me.
"If you are trying to get me to go on a date with me, you're going to have to do better than work lunch." I replied not realizing that I had gotten so close to him our lips almost touched..
"Regina, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?" Robin asked sweetly.
Once I heard his question I remember, Alfred, then my family. How could I have not realized what I was doing. With Robin, I forgot about everything going wrong in my life that I did not realize I was doing what i set myself on not to do.
"Robin... I'm sorry... I.. I shouldn't have lead you on like that." I turn away from him to walking out of the office. I reach the outside of the office to find Robin walking behind me.
"Robin, please I'm sorry. I just can't do this right now. I can't do love right now. I just, it's dangerous." I said as my voice broke.
"Why is it dangerous. I won't hurt you if that's what you think." he said in a serious tone.
"I just... I can't tell you. I don't want to get you involved.. Or hurt." I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Robin approached me with a worried look on his face as if wanting to fight everyone and everything that wanted to hurt me.
"Hey.. hey love." he said sweetly as his hand cupped my cheek. I couldn't help but slightly rest my head on this hand as I closed my eyes and began to cry and all my fears and worries melted out for him to quickly hugged me tight and and I hugged him back even tighter burying myself in his chest wanting to escape the world in his arms.
"I've got you, i've got you love. I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay." he said sweetly. He held me until I had stopped sobbing. I lifted my head up to look up at his blue eyes. He looked back at me. I had never felt more safe than when I felt at that moment in his arms and looking into his eyes. He looked back at me, smiled and gave me a sweet soft kiss. I closed my eyes and for a moment, I felt every inch of my body tremble as if there were fireworks going off inside me. He let go of the kiss. He was still holding me tight, I did not want to let go of him.
"Now.." he softly said stroking my cheek," how's about we have some lunch and we talk about this some time later tonight alright?"
I looked at him and nodded.. he kissed my forehead and he took my hand as we walked to find somewhere to eat.
"So, tell me.. what made you want to work at a non-profit. I know it's not the money, non-profits are known for now paying very well."
"Well, all I can ever remember was being in foster care. I didn't grow up with a family, and I remember how that felt. I grew up alone. Some foster parents were okay, others well, they were very abusive. I won't go into details but, once I got older I realized that I wanted to be somewhere that kids were able to escape their lives. I'd always loved music, art, anything that could help me escape my reality. It helped me a lot growing up but I never thought I could use it to help. I had been trying to erase my whole life, trying to move on from it at least and I thought that giving what was never given to me was the right place to start."
Robin reached out to put hold her hand across the table. Her eyes were glassy, trying to hold back the tears. "So, what made you want to work here?" she asked quickly gearing the attention to him.
"Well, I'd always loved the arts.. mostly music. My family was poor, and all we had was eachother. As poor as we were for some reason my mother always had people over. On Sundays, she would have family night but it was never just family." Robin chuckled continuing " Friends, strangers, neighbors would come to our house and we would have dinner together in our backyard. No one was turned away. And my mom had this one guitar that she would play and we would all sit together and sing, we weren't all blood related but it felt like family. After she died.. I lost that. I wanted to do something good like my mother did, so I decided just like you, to find a place where I can give to others who had never had that."
"I am sorry about your mother." Regina said softly, giving him a tender look.
"I miss her everyday, but I know she is no longer in pain. There's a peace in that." He replied with a half smile. "Well, we better get back to the office." He continued quickly, not wanting to dwell in sad things.
As they walked back Robin told Regina that every year, there were groups on charge of different events for the program. The manager and lead always were together and this year's event would be "Play for Hope" for the arts program. Regina recalled seeing the flyer and smiled inside recalling their encounter in the morning, both not believing that out of all the people in San Francisco, they ended up being both neighbors and coworkers.
"I don't really work on the event here, it's already busy as it is so I have that stuff all set up at home. If you like you can take a look at what I've got prepared so far so you get jump right in."
"Yeah of course. I'll go over tonight."
"And I was thinking, since we do work together, and do live under the same roof, I would only be logical if you carpool with me. If it's okay and all the same with you. We must be eco-friendly after all. " He prompted smiling.
"Yes, it would only be logical." she replied with a smile as well. "But I will be giving you gas money!"
"No no no, don't worry about that. I have more than enough payment having the privilege to carpool twice a day with such a stunning woman as you." Robin replied, giving her a slight smirk.
"You are one big charmer aren't you?" Regina replied in a flirty tone as they both walked back to the office.
Robin stepped out of his car, quickly running to the other side to open the car door for Regina. Neither breaking the conversation they had been having since they stepped out of the office.
"So the event itself would be like a sort of concert. The current students would have a chance to play or sing a song of their choice and speak about their experience in the program and how music has benefited their lives." Robin explained as they made their way towards the main entrance.
"So where are you now then on preparations?"
"Well, I've already contacted sponsors for music instruments and funding to set up the event, now we just need to call for pricing on stages, chairs, sound system, etc."
"Okay, sounds easy enough." she said as she was turned to unlock her door.
"So... you'll come up to take a look at it all later tonight... or now?" Robin said anxiously. Hoping that she would come see him again as soon as possible. He had enjoyed her company all day today. He enjoyed their conversations. It all seemed to flow so easily, moving from subject to subject without pause. He didn't want to break it off. He wanted to keep making her smile, to hear her laugh and see the brown eyes glitter when she laughed.
"Y-Yes… give me about an hour? I'll just go change into something more comfortable." she nervously replied. She locked her eyes with his and felt butterflies in her stomach as she opened the door. She began walking backwards entering her living room, eyes still locked on his, and she lost her footing and was about to fall backwards. Robin quickly grabbed her from her waist saving her from her fall, as Regina hugged Robin tightly around his neck. Their eyes locked on each other, brown earth meeting blue ocean waves. He brought her up still holding on to her waist tightly and Regina not breaking away from his grasp on him, both breathing heavily next to each other. Their bodies touching close than they had ever been. Hearts beating faster than before from nerves and excitement of being this close for the first time. She felt his muscles wrapped around the top of her back and his other grabbing her tightly around the small of her back the fresh smell of forest pine around his neck. He felt her breasts placed tight against his chest, the smell of her perfume a scent of lavender and vanilla engulfed his sense of smell and he felt her curved body all over his arms and hands and arms.
They stayed silent for a moment still locking eyes, breathing heavily from the nervousness of being this close to each other until one broke the silence.
"Second time you lose your footing at this door. You should watch where you're stepping." Robin said softly still eyes locked tightly on hers.
"I just... get.. d-distracted here." she stuttered nervously feeling her heartbeat speed up and feeling chills run up her spine from her nerves taking over.
"I wonder why..." Robin replied.
Both could feel each other's breathing against the other.
"S-So... I'll see you in your apartment in a bit... yes?" Regina said as she gulped trying not to lunge at his lips.
"Yes... Yes, to do the work-concert thing.. yes." Robin replied still nervous.
They both broke away at the same time. Regina slowly turning to enter her apartment and catching a glimpse of Robin as she closed the door. Robin walked up the stairs as a smile slowly creeped up his lips. He entered his apartment and breathed in deeply, not able to believe how once woman could emit so much emotion and feeling into him all at once.
As soon as Regina closed the door, she leaned against it and stared at the ceiling as if looking up into the heavens with a big smile that covered her whole face. She felt a vibration overcome her whole body causing her to feel weak in her knees, her stomach in knots, and a warm feeling in her chest. She was in disbelief of the way her body responded to Robin. She smiled to herself, still wondering how in the mist of her messed up and complicated life, when she was with Robin everything just disappeared and she felt a sense of home, that she had never felt before.
She quickly went to her closet, not wasting time to find something that she could change into. She found her pajama shorts that she recalled Robin had seen her in that morning that he asked her on a date. She then looked for her silk pajamas shirt and before she was about to put it on she stopped on her tracks, logic suddenly hit her. He is not your boyfriend, so why are you trying to wear clothes that will make him find you attractive? She shook her head and looked for some leggings and quickly got a zip up sweater on her. She quickly checked her make up making sure it had not looked smeared or worn off, and made her way up the stairs. She stood in front of the door for a moment taking a deep breath. Why? Why are you nervous Regina? Just relax, it's not like your going to have sex with him. This is work, so calm down. And either way, you cannot get too involved with him. It's not safe for him or you.
She took a deep breath and knocked on his door. She crossed her hands and then got a weird sensation on her chest. She then looked into her sweater and realized she had not put on a shirt or a bra! She was bra-less and shirtless under her sweater, how did she forget to put on a shirt let alone her bra!
"Aw, fuck!" she said under her breath as Robin opened the door.
"Everything okay?" he asked noticing the look on her face.
"Uh.. yes.. I just uh.. forget it." she replied smiling nervously.
"Care to come in, milady?" he asked with a smile.
She smiled and walked in. She stood near the entrance as she looked around the apartment. She noticed picture frames of his family hung on different areas of the walls a guitar and upright piano together near the window and paperwork and binders stacked up on the center table in the living room. He had two shelves of phonograph records, books and folders of sheets of music all stacked on together. There was a Van Gogh painting of Starry Night hung right above the couch that was place against the wall. It seemed to be hand painted but not an exact replica as the size was a bit bigger than the original. The rest of the apartment was just the kitchen with pots and pans and a small dining table. There was a recipe book on the on the counter of the kitchen titled "Eat like your life depends on it". He cooks. She thought to herself. She felt his presence standing behind her as she looked around.
"I don't have much. I didn't grow up having much but, I do have what I need and love." he stated looking around with her and then his gaze turning to her.
She looked at him and smiled, "It's what home must feel like." She had never known what the feeling felt like, to have little pieces of yourself and your loved ones all over your house. The have objects of yourself from when you were a child, of when you were the happiest, or the saddest. She thought it was beautiful. She had no memories for herself to think of. She never got her birthday celebrated, she never got to have tokens handed down to her as a child or a teenager. She had nothing to hold onto, no family pictures, college graduation pictures with family. It saddened her but warmed her heart to know that at least someone had what she so desperately had always wanted.
"What do you mean it's what home must feel like?" he asked his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Like I told you earlier today, I grew up in foster care my whole life. I may have jumped from home to home, but it never felt like mine. I have never had pictures of family, or little trinkets and memories of my childhood. So I think it's beautiful, that you have that. That you have some type of home in the world to go to." she said her voice cracking a little.
"Regina.." Robin began, wanting to ask her about the incident a few days ago with Alfred. But he paused, realizing that it was already too much for her emotionally and decided to not push her. He disliked seeing her broken in anyway. He simply extended his hand out to her and smiled.
Regina stared down at his hand and placed her hand on his, recalling the other two times he prompted the same gesture. He placed a soft kiss on her hand and looked at her in her eyes and said softly. "You are always welcome in my home."
She sighed deeply keeping her eyes steady on his, and her butterflies returned. Her only response was a simple smile and a nod. He returned her response with a smile knowing what she meant as they stayed in silence for a few moments as they kept staring into each other's eyes.
"You cook." she stated breaking the silence.
"I'm sorry?" he asked confused.
"The cookbook on the counter. You cook, yes? Or is it just there to impress girls you bring to your apartment?" she replied jokingly.
"Ah yes! Well I do cook, I have to survive somehow don't I?"
She rolled her eyes in response still smiling.
"I love to cook. My family was big on homemade meals and well, I grew up learning to cook. Even my father cooks quite well, matter of fact. Us Locksley men will not be caught starving. Do you? Cook?"
"I do actually, and pretty good if I do say so myself. I make a mean lasagna among other things."
"Well then we must have a neighborhood potluck one day." he said she they walked out the couch where all the concert paperwork laid.
"Yes, let's have a potluck with the multitude of neighbors we have in this house." she replied sarcastically.
"Well I have grown quite fond of my one and only neighbor, I wouldn't want to have a potluck with anyone else." He replied flirtatiously.
She could not help but smile. It seemed like she had done more smiling in the past week of having Robin as her new neighbor that she had in her entire life.
