Hey guys! I've still been getting mixed reviews but it's more positive now so I have another chapter for you. I've had so many reviews and nearly half of them are about how tears have been shed. Just so you know that was not my intention but I'm glad I've managed to make it that powerful that I've been getting these reactions.
This chapter is kind of an extra bit of information about the moving on process, obviously showing some memories Christian and Ana had. I did originally have chapter 3 going straight to the ages each character is going to be for the main plot but I wanted to give an insight as to how Christian was coping. It's not the best chapter and it was written in about one day which is why it's not as good as other chapters. It's a 'sideline' chapter, not completely relevant to the story but still has some sort of important information.
Chapter 3: Christian's Memories
"You are a big softy Mr Grey!"
"Only when it comes to my children, Mrs Grey."
Anastasia laughed and curled into her husband's side more than she already was. They were curled up watching Disney movies with their children and after much begging from them; Christian had finally agreed to let them have lots of sweets and soda.
"Daddy! I'm hungry!" Teddy cried as Monster Inc finished. He and Phoebe had been lying on their stomachs, with empty bowls of popcorn and sweets all around them, for nearly six hours. It's the longest the seven and five year olds had ever sat still.
"Teddy, you can't still be hungry. You've just had three bowls of popcorn and sweets," Christian said wondering where his son was putting it all.
"No, Phoebe ate three bowls of poppy!"
"You had it too, Teddy bear," Ana said. She glanced at her watch. "I better go and get Nick up or he'll never sleep tonight."
"I can go." Christian offered.
"No, I can manage a few stairs, thank you. You stay here and put on the next movie and try and calm your son. Though, no more sweets now or they'll never eat their dinner." She insisted climbing off the sofa and wandering out of the room. Christian noticed Phoebe's eyes were still glued to the television even though the movie was finished.
"Daddy, I'm still hungry!" Teddy shouted.
"Teddy, we are not having any more food otherwise we won't eat dinner. So what shall we watch now?"
"Wall-E!" Ted screeched. Phoebe's eyes were still glued to the television.
"Phoebe, what would you like to watch?" Christian asked, since Teddy had picked the last three movies. She shrugged her shoulders and stood up. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her forehead. "What's the matter princess?"
"My tummy hurts," she said.
"That's because you've had too many sweets. How about we just sit here and watch another movie?" he suggested and she just nodded and snuggled into his chest. "So are we watching Wall-E?"
"Yeah!" Ted said.
"No," Phoebe said at the same time.
"No? What shall we watch then?"
"A bug's Life. I like princess Atta," she said quietly.
"No, a bug life is stupid," Ted moaned. "Wall-E is much better."
"No, it's boring!" Phoebe moaned.
"Ted, you picked the last movie. It's Phoebe's turn," Christian said, moving Phoebe from his lap to the sofa so he can put the DVD in the player. When he had it loading, Ana appeared carrying a hyper two-year-old. For someone who had just woken up Nick was always a hyper young child. Ana struggled to control him and in the end just put him on the floor to run to his brother, sister and father. Once he was out of her arms she stood up straight and sat next to Phoebe on the sofa.
"So what are we watching now?" she asked.
"We are watching 'A Bug's Life'. Phoebe's choice." Christian said, standing again to sit next to his wife, pulling his daughter back into his lap. Teddy settled back on the floor giving up his moaning about the movie choice and having more food. He knew once Christian, or in this case; Ana, made a decision, that was final. Nick was still running around. "Does that boy ever run out of energy?"
"Christian, he's just woken up from his nap. His body has recharged and ready to give you a run for your money." Ana winked.
"I think that's for mommy, actually."
"Ha! Not when I'm eight and a half months pregnant," she giggled. She suddenly sat up and reached for his hand. "Oh, he's kicking like crazy today. Feel." She placed his hand on her stomach. Phoebe leant over and put her hand on Ana's tummy too.
"Wow, he is active today isn't he?" Christian said. Ana giggled and nodded. "I can't wait till he's here,"
"It's a shame we're not having another little girl."
"One day, Mrs Grey. We will have another daughter," he kissed her forehead. "I promise."
"Like me!" Phoebe added.
"Yes, like you my little princess," Ana said pulling her daughter into her lap and telling her husband to capture their two year old. Together they say and watched the movie.
Half an hour into it...
"Christian! Don't panic, but my water just broke!" Ana suddenly exclaimed. Christian's eyes widened and he jumped into action. Grace looked after the other three and Christian held his wife's hand.
Twelve hours later, he was holding his new son. He smiled. James looked absolutely perfect. But he still wished he could have another little girl.
"One day, Christian. We will have a daughter," Ana repeated his promise to her.
If only they could have kept that promise.
... ... ...
Christian woke with a start. It was just a dream he thought. Ana's not really here. He glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly six in the morning. Roughly the time James was born. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, he decided to get out of bed. He thought he could hear voices in the hall but became convinced it was his imagination, until he heard the familiar scream.
Climbing out of bed he went down to Phoebe's room and found her sitting up in bed with her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking slightly. It had been five years since she witnessed that horrific event and she still wasn't coping. He had decided not to send her to Flynn because he didn't want her to feel different but now he was thinking, can he cope with her nightmares anymore?
"Phoebe, calm down. Daddy's here," he said wrapping his arms around her and rocking slightly. He kissed the top of her head a few times until she stopped crying. He's ask her about her dream but she'd not say anything and say she was fine. He'd stopped trying to get her to open up a little while back and lefty her to get ready for the day.
By the time she was downstairs, it was like her dreams never happened. Though the family knew otherwise but they never mentioned anything. She didn't need the constant reminders.
She saw Gail making pancakes and had a couple when they were offered as she made conversation with her brothers. Christian entered the kitchen after his shower and smiled at the sight. He was so glad his children got along so well, but panicked when they would argue. He didn't know how to control them when they argue and sometimes he just snaps at them. In fact two years ago, Teddy, Phoebe and Nick were arguing so much he nearly sent them off to boarding school, just so he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Grace was the one to talk sense into him, claiming that's not what Ana would want.
"Phoebe, why were you screaming again?" James asked suddenly. Phoebe tensed.
"Because I can," she said simply continuing to eat her breakfast.
"But, why were you screaming so loud?"
"Because I can," she repeated, sounding slightly frustrated.
"James, leave Phoebe alone! It's not her fault she's a wimp!" Nick said.
"I am not a wimp!" she shouted.
"Are too," James said.
"Boys, that's enough! Stop picking on your sister and go and get ready for school," Christian intervened. Phoebe stuck her tongue out as they passed her, which didn't go unnoticed by her father. "Phoebe, don't be horrible to your brothers. Are you all ready for school?"
"Yeah," she snapped. Why did James have to bring up the screaming? Now she was in a mood with her brothers and snappy at everyone.
"Don't start attitude with me, young lady, I only asked you a question."
"And I only gave you an answer." She said sweetly. He sighed.
"Phoebe, I think we should talk about these dreams,"
"No." She said simply, wishing he wouldn't go any further. She was wrong.
"You don't have to talk to me. Phoebe I think you need professional help. Your grandmother was right, I should've taken you to see Flynn years ago," he said the last part mainly to himself.
"I do not want to sit a stupid room for an hour talking about my feeling and mom. I'm fine dad, so just leave me alone!" She snapped walking away from the breakfast bar, bumping James' shoulder as she left the kitchen. Christian called after her but she ignored him. Once she was gone, he focused his attention on his youngest son.
"James, why did you ask Phoebe that question?"
"It was just a joke." James defended.
"And now, she's upset because of your stupidity." Christian snapped. "Is it too much to ask that you don't keep giving her reminders of what happened?"
"Well, how am I supposed to do that when I don't know what happened, dad? No one tells me anything around here!" James shouted.
"You don't need to know what happened, exactly James. Just don't ask your sister stupid questions!"
"Why won't anybody tell me? She was my mom too and I never knew her!"
"Don't be ridiculous, of course you knew her."
"No. I didn't. She died before I got the chance to!" that took Christian by surprise. James was three but Ana was always there for him. He would always cry for her more than Christian and yet he remembers nothing about it? Christian said nothing and walked out of the house, telling security to make sure his children get to school safely and on time.
He still wondered what life would be like if he and Ana kept their promise of another daughter.
... ... ...
"Shhh. Come stop your crying it'll be alright. Come take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, don't you cry," Ana sang softly, trying to get her baby girl to sleep. She had been rocking her in her arms for over an hour and the newborn still wouldn't settle down. "Where is your daddy, Princess?" she asked her daughter, though not expecting an answer.
"Want me to take her?" Christian whispered, walking into the room.
"When did you get home?" Ana asked checking her watch, realising he's home an hour earlier than planned.
"About five minutes ago. My meeting ended way earlier than planned." He said wrapping his arms around her, kissing her temple. "Want me to take her?"
"Please," Ana said handing over the child. "I've been trying to get her to settle for over an hour." Once Phoebe was in her father's arms, she gradually started to calm.
"Ahh, she just wanted her daddy before going to bed." He said. Ana smiled and exited the room, dragging herself towards her own bedroom. She was beyond exhausted. In fact she was so tired, she didn't even bother to undress and get changed. She just fell on the bed, face down, and closed her eyes.
Once Phoebe was finally settled and Teddy had been checked on, Christian went to find his wife. It was quite late, he was surprised at how late Phoebe had fallen asleep. When he opened their bedroom door, he smiled at the sight of his wife. Lying on her side, facing the centre of the bed, fully dressed, fast asleep. Her chestnut hair fanned out behind her, some falling across her face. She looked so perfect and absolutely stunning.
Realizing she must have been over exhausted, he left her as she was. He didn't want to risk waking her by undressing her, so he just climbed into bed next to her and held her in his arms. Soon enough, he was also asleep.
... ... ...
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Phoebe screamed, waking Christian. Glancing at his clock, he saw it was ten in the morning. He never sleeps in that late on a Saturday. He didn't have time to think on it as Phoebe was shouting again. "GET OUT!" sighing, he got out of bed. That was not the first time he was woken by Phoebe shouting at one of her brothers and it wasn't the first time a pleasant dream about Ana had been interrupted.
Opening the door, he saw James and Nick running as fast as they could along the hall followed by a very angry looking Phoebe.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?" he roared. All three froze. Nick and James were looking at each other and their father. Phoebe kept her eyes on her feet, which suddenly became very interesting. "Well?"
"Nick and James were in my room," Phoebe said.
"What were you two doing in her room?"
"Nothing," they said together.
"Liars! You were going through my stuff," Phoebe snapped.
"No we weren't!" Nick snapped, which annoyed Phoebe so she started chasing them again. Christian tried to stop them but couldn't and soon lost his temper.
"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN. NOW!" they did as they were told. "Right then, let's calmly talk about what's going on."
"We were only looking for a box of photos of mom," Nick said. "Phoebe said she had some so we wanted to see."
"That still doesn't give you a right to go through my stuff. And you were reading my diary!" Phoebe snapped.
"Is that true?" Christian questioned. Both the boys shook their heads and Phoebe sighed. "Phoebe, calm down."
"Calm down? They go through my stuff all the time and you do nothing to stop it!" she snapped.
"What do you think I'm doing now?"
"Asking what's going on, but you're going to believe them, like you always do!"
"That's not true."
"Yes it is. It's because I'm a girl isn't it? My feelings and opinions count for nothing!" she snapped. She suddenly stood up and stalked out of the room. He tried calling after her but she just turned back and spoke to her brothers. "That box is in my closet on the top shelf. Feel free to go through my underwear while you're at it!" and she ran out of the room.
Christian found her later that afternoon, sitting in the long grass area of the meadow, where the family had enjoyed countless picnics when Ana was alive. He sat down next to her but said nothing.
"I'm sorry," she broke the silence with a whisper. He looked at her.
"For what?" he asked.
"For losing my temper. For the attitude. For everything," she said looking straight ahead. A tear ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry for not getting along better with the boys."
"They need to stop aggravating you. I've ground Nick and James and they won't be going in your room again. Though, I will ask for the box back so I can get some copies of the photos made up," he said gently. She nodded.
"Do you ever think of her?" she asked.
"Every day. She's in my dreams."
"She's in mine too, though it's a constant repeat of what happened." She took a deep breath. "I miss her, dad. So much." She started sobbing. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.
"I know. I miss her, too. But, we're doing ok, aren't we? Ignoring the arguments here and there," she giggled.
"She wouldn't be happy about it. I guess it's one way to keep her in my thoughts, even if it's the disappointment I see on her face."
"Hey, stop that. It's true she wouldn't want these arguments to continue, but there would never be disappointment on her face. And there are other ways to keep her in your thoughts. We have her pictures up everywhere. You come out here and sit in her favourite spot all the time."
"It's the only way I can think of to stay close to her." She wiped some tears and sat up straight. "Dad? I think you're right about Dr Flynn."
"Really? You're not just saying that?"
"No, I really think I need help. It's been five years and I can't control my feelings or the dreams anymore." He kissed her forehead.
"Ok. If you think you're ready then we'll go see Flynn. I'll make an appointment for tonight, or tomorrow."
"Thank dad. Where are the boys? I want to apologize for shouting at them." Christian nodded towards the house. She stood and ran inside. Christian smiled after her and an idea popped into his head.
... ... ...
Nick jumped off the bed to hug his father. Christian looked at the TV screen and then to his daughter. "Again?" he asked and she nodded happily. They were watching 'Happy Feet Two'
"Erik is so cute, daddy!" she said.
"Would you like to join us daddy?" Ana asked, laughing. Christian just nodded and walked over to slide onto the bed, moving Phoebe so he could sit behind her and had her sit between his legs. Ana snuggled up next to him, James in her lap with Teddy and Nick lying on their tummy's on top of the duvet while they all watched Erik slip and land head first in the ice. The boys started laughing when he started to pee and couldn't stop but Phoebe just quoted Bo saying; "It's not funny!"
When the song 'Bridge of Light' came on, Ana started to sing quietly to her babies.
"That's when you can build a bridge of light,
That's what turns the wrong so right
That's when you can't give up the fight
That's when love turns night time into day,
That's when loneliness goes away,
That's why you gotta be strong tonight,
Only love can build us a bridge of light."
Phoebe smiled at her mommy and leaned up to kiss her cheek. She loved listening to her sing and decided to join in. Christian smiled and closed his eyes listening to his girls singing, beautifully. When they finished they just giggled and continued to watch the movie.
"And you once told me you couldn't sing," Christian said once they were in bed that night.
"I never thought I could. Though our children seem to think otherwise."
"I would have to agree with them." He kissed her lips, softly. "You are so beautiful,"
"So you keep telling me. I still can't see the attraction."
"Stop that, or you'll go over my knee," he warned. She smiled at him, an idea popping into her head. "Ana!" he warned, though his voice was soft.
"Ok, how about some vanilla?"
"That sounds like a good idea."
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he climbed on top of her and kissed him. God, she loved this man. Soon their clothes were off and he was moving inside her. She moaned, enjoying the sensation. Her bracelet jingled as they moved together, in sync with one another. They had gotten to know each other's bodies very well over the eleven years they had been together.
Suddenly, Ana sat up in pain, her hand on her chest.
"Ana, what's the matter?"
"It's him. He's coming," she whispered holding out her hand to him. He could see the blood on her chest and he knew he could do nothing stop it. She fell down again, eyes closed, body limp. He had tears in his eyes and they dripped onto her beautiful face. He pulled her up and held her close to his chest, rocking slightly.
Something sparkling shone in his eye. He looked towards the source and knew what to do.
She always managed to guide him through.
... ... ...
He found his children sitting in the lounge playing the Disney version of Monopoly. He smiled. They hadn't had an argument in three months, since Phoebe started seeing Flynn and Claude. She had found a way to channel her anger through kickboxing and throwing punches at the punch bag in their home gym. He hated to interrupt them when they're getting along but he needed to do this before he changed his mind.
"Phoebe? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Yeah, sure. I'm bankrupt anyway," she said leaving the boys to finish off. He led her out of the living room and into his office where he sat her on the couch in there and sat down next to her.
"Phoebe, I know you've had a tough time since your mom... you know," he started and she nodded. "I just want you to know I'm proud of how you've coped these last three months or so. Proud of how you've coped altogether. Your mother would be proud to," she nodded.
"Thanks dad. Flynn's really helped me. And thanks for letting me use the gym. The punch bag is much better to attack than my brothers," she said, causing Christian to chuckle a little. Looking up at her he pulled the red box out from behind his back and handed it to her.
"This is for you," he said as she stared at the box that had Cartier written on the top. She looked up at him in question and he nodded. She opened it. "She would have wanted you to have it and I think it might help you keep her closer to you when you're not at home surrounded by pictures or at her grave." Phoebe had tears in her eyes.
"Thank you, daddy. I'll look after it, I promise." She said looking down at Ana's charm bracelet. She took it out and held it to her father, "Can you help me?" he nodded and fastened it around her left wrist.
He explained each charm to her but he'd taken the ice cream charm off, not wanting to explain that she was the first woman he'd made love to while every other woman he'd been with was just fucking. He opened the locket and she saw there was a picture of her parents on their wedding day. She knew he had changed it because Ana told her once she only kept a picture of Christian in it. She also noticed that he had added an 'A' charm next to the 'C' to make it more personal to remembering her mother.
Once he'd finished talking she stood and hugged him, thanking him over and over for the special gift.
... ... ...
What do you guys think of my idea of Christian giving Phoebe Ana's bracelet? I've been toying with the idea so I'd love to hear thoughts.
I am also aware I haven't mentioned anything on the killer. That will be coming up over the next few chapters so please be patient.
I'm at my cousins wedding this weekend so I might not be able to update until Monday, but if I get time on Friday I shal do it then
Thanks for the reviews:
Kat282301
jeanne3246
emi17
meigs37
Charmthestag
camicamilona
jpinzer
girlofmidnight
Skgcsandra
portico
ljb2
JoelleT
Christian618
HHERALD
dnlnncts
C-bride
Louisvuittonfreak
Acane (Guest)
Qtowngirl1 (Guest)
Guest
