The bed was still creaky, just how it always was. He and Mimi couldn't even fool around without the entire loft and apartments around them knowing. Sitting on the edge, it made a loud 'dying' sound and he wondered if the box spring would collapse on him sooner or later.

The apartment was just the way he had left it, pretty much empty with several things on the floor. Guitar picks…magazines…fliers from his old gigs. He had dumped his bag at the door and found himself staring into space at what seemed like forever. When he stood up, a picture on his dresser came into clear view. Walking over to the dresser on the other side of the room, floor boards croaking under his feet, he observed the dusty surface and frame. He could barely make out the picture that was masked with dust. Picking it up carefully, he brushed his index finger along the glass, tilting it back slightly before blowing most of the dust off.

Without the dust, the picture revealed quite a nice picture of him and Mimi, during a surprise Birthday party that Mark and Mimi had planned out. The two of them were sitting on the couch with a glass of champagne in hand, making goofy faces at the camera, wrapped in one another's arms. A good portion of the glass had been shattered and he remembered clearly throwing it at the wall during a fight they had had. She must have put it back together. A soft smile appeared slowly on his lips as he zoomed in on the picture not realizing Mimi was standing in the doorway watching him silently.

The mirror over the dresser was also broken, distorting his image as he slowly looked up, spotting Mimi through the cracked glass behind him by the door. Nausea filled his stomach and for some reason he felt like crying. He looked at her in the mirror for a long moment, eyes connected through one another before he placed the photograph back down and slowly turned. "Hey…" He whispered, a knot in his throat, only loud enough for her to hear.

"Hey." Mimi replied softly, eyes locked on his.

Roger suddenly had the urge to run. His heart was racing and he could hear Benny and Mark talking in hushed whispers from the other room. "How've you been?" He froze in his place as Mimi gazed out into the hall for a brief moment before turning back towards him, pausing before stepping inside his room, closing the door slowly behind her.

"Alright…" She gave him the same reply he had said to them earlier. He could tell by the broken look on her face that she was lying. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed once more. "We should probably talk…" She mused out loud; the look on her face was almost desperate, not knowing what to say to him.

"Yeah…" Roger nodded up to her a blank look on his face, hands on his knees as he tried to think of something knowledgeable to say beside beg for forgiveness. "I should tell you…why I left…it wasn't because I didn't…"

Mimi shook her head quickly, "I know." She cut him off quickly not wanting him to say it for fear she'd break down to him. She knew she should be angry, bitter to him coming back after so long; but she couldn't. Not when the only thing she wanted to do was tell him how sorry she was for everything, how much she… "I should tell you… Benny never was…any…"

He cut her off this time before looking back up to her, eyes glazed over, "I know…I should have told you how much I…"

"No…don't you dare Roger…" Mimi murmured shaking her head a bit nervously, arms wrapped around her small frame that was clutching a heavy wool blanket over her. He couldn't help but notice her shivering.

Roger looked down a bit hurt as he grinded his teeth together, "I'm sorry…for everything…leaving…you…Mark…Collins…I just wanted you to know. I made a mistake…the biggest mistake of my life…" His voice drifted as he placed his head in his hands. Maybe he didn't deserve to be forgiven.

Mimi stared at him, shifting her footing slightly, body completely tensed. "Roger…" Her face softened towards him, "Rog…"

He flinched at his name, slowly looking back up towards her; newly fallen tears stained his cheeks, more threatening to fall. Something else was wrong…

"Collins…Collins is dead."

It took awhile to actually sink in that Tom Collins, one of his best friends for years, was dead. And he was too busy hiding across the country to actually say goodbye to him.

Roger hadn't said a word for several minutes as h stared out the window from the edge of his bed, gazing out into the misty night.

Mimi looked a bit alert that he hadn't spoken a word for the past five minutes or so while she explained what she knew about his death, "Roger?"

He didn't reply as he stared out the window, his back to her. She could see that he was crying from the reflection off the glass. Swallowing hard she pulled the blanket tighter around her.

"He's with Angel now…you…you know how miserable he was after Angel passed…" She murmured softly to him, taking a seat on the bed beside him, kneeling on her knees. He made no acknowledgement of her presence as she placed a hand along his shoulder.

Too many thoughts were flowing through Roger's head to actually form words.

"Say something…" Mimi murmured softly tugging at his arm, a worried expression on her face.

He slowly turned his head to look at her, tears of guilt and pain on his face. His lips were parted but no words could be formed. He broke down into tears and allowed Mimi to hold him in her arms as he wept for his lost friend, for the past year that had been so completely lost.

Actions had spoken louder than words.

-

"Mimi?" A soft voice came from the door way.

Mimi who was leaning back against the head rest on Roger's bed had closed her eyes for a few minutes as Roger fell asleep, head in her lap. Hand damp from wiping away his tears, her fingers had rested along his shoulder when he had slowly fallen to sleep. The voice brought her back to reality, as she slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head towards the doorway.

Mark was standing in the doorway in a heavy sweater and flannel pajama pants. He rubbed his eyes before replacing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "It's past midnight." He informed her.

"What?" It had been not even seven when she had gone to see him, and then just rest her eyes for a bit. "Wow…I must have fallen asleep…" She murmured before looking down to Roger's peaceful figure in front of her.

"Him too I see…" He smiled softly at her, "He okay? I heard him crying earlier…" His voice drifted a bit with concern.

"I told him about Collins…" She explained quietly before eyes locked to his figure, brushing her fingers through his soft hair.

Mark only nodded as silence filled the room, "You should get to bed. Benny fell asleep on the couch if you wanted to wake him up…"

Mimi didn't respond. As much as she didn't want to leave Roger, she knew she had to. Shifting a bit under him, she brushed a hand along his stained cheek, "Rog…come on…" She murmured softly to him as his eyes slowly slit open. He looked up groggily at her before slowly lifting his head from her lap and resting it back on the pillow next to her. His eyes fluttered closed as Mimi pulled the covers over him and gave him a kiss on his fore head, crawling off the bed.

"He still loves you." Mark said suddenly after observing the two.

"He left because of me." She shot him a glare, picking up her heels that she had placed at the foot of the bed.

"…And you're very much the reason why he came back." Mark pointed out standing in the middle of the door way blocking her escape route.

"Have you totally forgotten that I'm seeing Benny?" Mimi added in a hushed whisper.

"You don't love him…you never did..." He shook his head quickly.

"Don't tell me who I love and don't love Mark." Mimi responded stubbornly though she knew what he was saying was the pure truth. Pushing past him she escaped into the hall, tossing her heels into her room across the hall. She could feel Mark's eyes on her as she walked slowly into the living room.

When she heard Mark's door close, she sighed and peered in at Benny, who was fast asleep on the couch, the television that played the news, low in the background. Watching him solemnly for several moments, she swallowed hard.

Mark was right.

Tearing her gaze away from him, she crept up beside the couch and picked up the remote that was on the end table.

"You two back together already?" The voice caused Mimi to jump a bit startled as she slowly gazed down to Benny who remained still, eyes closed with the blanket pulled up over his chest. A lazy grin appeared on his lips, almost teasingly.

"Leave it alone Benny…" She shook her head a bit awkwardly, pulling her own blanket tighter around her. "Are you coming to bed?"

Silence. Mimi shifted her footing before sighing and switching the television off. "Merry Christmas." She stated softly, voice on the edge of tears. So many emotions were running through her, she had no idea how to respond. When Benny didn't reply, Mimi headed back into her room, alone and cold, head full of her troubled thoughts of the past.

She knew she couldn't stay with Benny. It wasn't fair, not to her and not to him. He deserved better, he deserved receiving the love that he had expressed for her.

At the sound of Mimi's door closing, Benny's stomach clenched, acids mixing together creating a sense of nausea that soon lingered into his throat. Eyes glazed with unspoken tears, they stared at the ceiling and couldn't help but selfishly wish that Roger would go back to where he came from.

A/n: Sorry it took so long! My computer crashed and I just set everything back up. You know the drill - no reviews - no next chapter. It's all written and ready to go. You know you love me.