AN: Hey guys! Finally, I can call this chapter done. There were a lot of difficulties during writing and it took me days to get a hang out of it. I do have to say that it is not the best thing I've written so far. Yeah, there is still a lot of monologues going on, but like this, I think you get a good idea of Masae. There will be a second part to this so in the next chapter we won't move to a completely new scene but stay right on the battlefield.
Having a blockade right in the middle of writing is not great at all and all my fellow writers out there; I feel ya. Also, I'm sorry if this chapter is filled with all sorts of misspellings. This is being written on my phone because my laptop decided to literally die. So I need to buy a new one which pisses me off, but it cant be helped.
That being said I hope you like this chapter. And I wanna thank you for all the reviews, favorites and follows!
Also! I think I will stick with the current cover now. I had trouble making up what I want but now it fairly pleased.
It wasn't until the age of four that a lot of things happened. These moments came with its time, sometimes too fast, sometimes too slow - if 'too slow' was even a thing in this world. In general, I had the feeling that the time was passing by really fast. Last time I remember I couldn't form words to express myself. Feelings, needs. This body of mine was in control of its own with no chance to reach out for it. Now I was walking, still at a slow pace and the gaze directed to the ground so that I wouldn't be tripping, but surely more steady than before. Not that looking down helped me. There were still many people around I could easily bump into. Though we don't want to talk about that one, do we?
The most beautiful thing I experienced this time around, was family. Finally, I could call a place home even though sometimes it just felt eerie. What I mean is getting attached to this world, all these characters, the whole story. In the back of my mind, I knew nothing here was really 'real'. It was a hotchpotch linking fiction and reality together, with me being caught in the midst of it. Giving all these wonderful pieces of memories a name to call by is a feeling I would never give up again.
And this is where a big problem of mine joins the game. Getting attached to quickly had always troubled me, though I never tried to fix it. It was just too hard.
I wouldn't consider myself a good talker nor an open person. Introverted wasn't the right word to describe me and so was extroverted. I knew me well enough to say when I wanted company and when not. Though I'm longing a lot for social contacts and for people to rely on. And when this condition isn't present, it lets me sunk deep down into a black hole of emptiness, feeling nothing but rejection and the fear of being disliked or hated even. Someone who gets told off because they're too loud when people need to concentrate is something quite understandable and will for most of the cases not be questioned.
But for me... I take things way to serious. The moment I'm faced with such criteria, there is no way I'm not thinking negatively about myself. I instantly feel sorry in the most horrible ways that I never want to come eye to eye with the person who just criticized me, ever again. This may sound childish to you, though I really care about those around me and I can't just disappoint them.
There was no way for me to call someone unknownst to me, Mom or Dad. But still, Mikoto and Fugaku were there for me, as a parental figure I could look up to. When I - Uchiha Masae - wasn't even supposed to be in this universe, they still showed appreciation and love. Everything that went so horribly wrong in the life before, where I thought that there was no way for me to get a second chance, I was blessed with this place, this family. And if people tell me that my clan is the worst of the worst: I don't care! Because you certainly don't understand the place I originally came from. How much I had to fight for this, what was now just gifted to me like its nothing.
The same goes for Itachi. A sibling. A friend. My brother, older by just a few minutes.
I never had siblings, but I did imagine a lot what it could be like. To have someone coming from the same place as you, that understands your problems exactly because they may experience the same thing. I love Itachi, I really do. It hurts to love him so bad because I know that there are things that I from a moral point of view would despise and call off. Him leaving the clan with dirty hands stained with the red color from dozens of people and joining Akatsuki. Yes, I knew this much and also was aware that this isn't something I could support nor tolerate. In the end, I knew it was going to happen and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
I was fast asleep when a sudden loud and shrill unknown clatter of metal made its way through the once so silent room, interrupting my sleep. Never had I been a heavy sleeper, always light on my feet even in my dreams. Although it still wasn't very nice to wake up to such a loud noise in the middle of the night. But in this world, something like this could actually mean danger and immediate defense mode. No weapons for a four-year-old available made this whole situation a bit tricky. And even if there were weapons in near reach, there was no way I could use them. I'd probably hurt myself more than I would my opponent.
So the only thing a little girl could do was hide. Under her blanket. Not the best technique but what do you expect? That I can pull off amazing Taijutsu at the least? Of course, I felt kind of stupid here, hiding under a blanket with every movement of my body noticeable. But like I said there are not many options I have.
I remained a few minutes longer under the blanket before I through it away from my figure, quickly checking my surroundings. Like I had been already figuring out it was still rather early, the insides of the room tinted in a light midnight blue and there were streaks of light through coming through the curtains, lightening the walls and the floor just enough to see through the darkness. There was nothing really off, but I did saw something moving in the corner of my eyes. Instantly I shed a glance at Itachi's bed only to find it empty.
"Sorry," came a mumble, piercing through the quiet night.
With that, my head turned immediately to the direction the voice came from only to be met with my brother's sorry gaze. Confused I starred right back at him, before shifting my glance more downwards to get a hang out of what was happening. And then I saw it. There were Kunai all splattered across the floor and empty kunai holster right next to them. As he noticed my eyes fixating on them, Itachi recklessly collected them all together almost cutting himself a few times in the process and shoved them quickly back into its holster.
And as if I wasn't confused enough, him tying the straps of the holster to his upper thigh, readjusting them here and there to prevent them from opening so easily a second time, left me even more bewildered.
"Itachi, what are you doing?", I asked slowly not wanting that he breaks free without answering.
"Going outside." And he said it like it was the most logical thing in the world. I mean he was not in his nightgown anymore and had his sandals on. Oh, if Mom would know he entered the house and rooms with his shoes on, it would pretty much be over for him. "Go back to sleep. Won't take long." He quickly cut off my own thoughts.
I opened my mouth and tried to say something when no words were being said. Itachi did have a habit of doing everything himself and I could - no matter what - do nothing about it. The only thing it leads us to was me following my brother making sure he is alright when I knew he would be even without me.
Since the war had been raging on, we weren't really allowed to go anywhere nor pass the clans compound. It was a harsh decision made up by Mikoto to keep us safe. But it also didn't give us much space to move out. Not that we had lots of friends that we missed and wanted to meet so desperately, though staying in the house all the time only leaving to get grocery shopping done was rather boring.
And yes, you have heard correctly. War. The Third Shinobi War to be exact.
Because I was home for most of the time, I didn't notice that something was off. I still followed the same daily routine as ever with no signs of violence involved. All I could feel was the uneasiness in the clan. If you listened closely to conversations, you could hear a hint being dropped here and there. Not that it was that much of a big secret, how could it be? But to a child's ears that wasn't something you should mention quite frequently. Children sense worry and problems sometimes faster than an adult.
So much thinking didn't even have me realizing that Itachi was about to make its way through the door. I never asked him about this, but I had the faint feeling of annoying him with following him everywhere he did go like I was his shadow. He never complained, but he always told me to stay home.
With my dark hair tousled in every direction possible, a small and thin blanket tied around my shoulders, the Knot close to my neck and my dirty and worn sandals on, I followed Itachi fast through the chill air. He was faster than me which I would not only solemnly say because I was only awake for a few minutes, but because he was either way. I tried to stop being jealous a long time ago, but Itachi really was a prodigy that left me in awe.
With no orientation of where we were going, I trusted my brother big much.
We had been running for a while and my legs were slowly starting to protest. Running on long-term had never been a great strength of mine. Not in my pre-life but also here I would have major problems if I don't work on my stamina.
The whole time I had been asking Itachi questions. Where are we going? Why so early in the morning? Do you want to meet someone? And all these questions were left unanswered making me not exactly feel better. Uneasiness made its way through my veins sending chills through my body that didn't leave me shivering from the cold outside, but the fear that was boiling up. And soon it was clouding my mind.
In the far distance, you could hear shouting, screams filled with agony and pain. There was the familiar clattering one could hear when metal met metal. Bloodcurdling screams so loud that birds made its way high up into the air, trying to escape the loud atmosphere and find a safer place for them where it would be much quieter. And now I knew exactly where we were heading.
The battlefield.
It was exactly how you imagined it, how I have seen it in documentaries, movies, and other devices. Loud, raw, all fair and square gone. There was clirring when metal met metal. Bloodcurdling screams filled the air and made the birds fly high up, leaving to find a much quieter place to stay for the night. And one point made it even more real; dead bodies, blood. But what was I expecting?
This was war. This was what the shinobi world was. Cold and merciless. Being a Ninja is all fun and games until you have to enter battle. When I now think about it... did I still wanted to become a strong, independent shinobi? Would I be able to have the guts even fighting someone of my own kin? Right now I could only answer these questions with a big no.
But I still wanted to achieve change and there was no way I could do that without doing anything. Sitting around, waiting for things to happen, to just let luck fall right in front of my feet; impossible. And I knew that so well that it hurt.
Itachi was a bit ahead of me, standing near on the edge of a cliff, his gaze fixated on the things happening in the very front of his eyes. Making my way up to him was horrible and nerve-racking. I wanted to scream every time I stepped onto something that was not the concrete I was supposed to walk on.
I embraced Itachi as soon as I came up to him. He was still following the battle with an intense stare, completely knocked out any thought. With every explosion going off my body trembled more and more, leaning into Itachi even closer. Although it didn't give me the security I hoped so dearly for.
"So... This is war.. The Great Shinobi War." Itachi trailed off shocked and uncomfortable, his chest rumbling with every word he said.
Yes, it is. Is that what you came here for, Itachi? Did you really want to see all of this?
"Please 'tachi, please, let's go home." I only managed to whimper.
