This is for a guest who requested Clare with terminal cancer.
::
This couldn't be happening.
This really just could not be happening.
"The chemotherapy isn't working. I'm so sorry, but there's nothing else we can do." The doctor bowed his head and squeezed the sobbing mother's shoulder before walking out to give them some privacy.
Eli watched as Clare's face crumbled, her eyes squeezing shut.
He wanted to hug her, to comfort her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright...
But he knew it would be a lie. And he didn't lie to Clare.
His feet started moving without his permission until he was outside of the suddenly too small hospital room. He dropped to the floor, his head in his hands and felt tears leaking out of his eyes. This wasn't happening. It just couldn't be. She was Clare and she was strong and she could beat anything. He had never entertained the possibility that he could lose her to cancer. Yet here he was, doing just that.
He sat there for hours, staring in front of him, but not really seeing anything.
"Eli?"
Adam knelt in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern. "What happened? What's wrong?"
"She's going to die."
It was the first time he had said the words aloud and he could almost feel his heart break as he did.
The shorter boy shook his head rapidly. "What? No! She's gonna be fine. She's Clare!"
Eli looked up at him, his eyes hard. "She's dying, Adam. The drugs aren't working and there's nothing you or I can do about it. So we may as well just accept it."
His best friend shrunk back at the anger in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Eli."
"Me too."
::
31 days.
31 days before her body stopped fighting.
31 days before Eli lost the one person in his life he had ever truly loved. Ever truly needed.
He was with her when she died.
She had grown weak and pale and couldn't leave the hospital bed. She couldn't even lift her glass of water without help. She had trouble speaking and her lungs had been severely affected by the disease.
"Eli?" Her voice was raspy and cracked, but he still heard it.
He held her a little closer. "Yeah, babe?"
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Clarebear. This was not your fault." He told her firmly, his eyes starting to water even as he spoke.
The sick girl smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to fight this for you. Just please don't forget me. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you."
"I love you too," he choked out, watching her eyes close and her chest rise and fall for the last time. He pressed his lips to her forehead, as his tears dripped onto the sheets.
The machines started beeping and nurses and doctors rushed in, running around shouting about a Code Red. But Eli just silently slipped away from the bed and out of the room before he could hear them say what he already knew.
She was gone.
::
"I miss you."
Eli stood on the ledge, staring at the dark sky.
"You said you were sorry for not being strong enough. Now it's my turn, I guess. I'm sorry for not being brave enough to live without you. I'll see you soon, Edwards."
He jumped.
::
I think I just broke my own heart, guys. I'm sitting here literally sobbing as I type. -Molls
