One Minute Marriage

Summary: The word marriage looks a lot like the word magic when you're running for your life from a hoard of Death Eaters. So Harry could be forgiven for the mistake.


The Second Minute
: A Free Ride… When You've Already Paid

In the dead silence of the room, all that could be heard was the muffled calls of the Aurors proclaiming Diagon Alley to be safe once again.

Both teenagers leapt to their feet at the same instant.

"WHAT?!"

The priest looked confused. "Well, you did answer the questions. The verbal contract is a binding-"

"This is all your fault Potter!" Zabini yelled at him.

"What do you mean it's my fault?! I just saved your life! You're the one who agreed to the contract!"

The priest looked on in a confused manner as the two continued to argue over the bawling of the child Blaise held and the giggles of the little girl. "I did say that you should work out your issues before-"

"SHUT UP!" the two shouted. Then they both realised something and their eyes narrowed. "You!"

"How could you think that we were talking to you?!"

"We were in the middle of an argument for Merlin's sake!"

"Did we look like we wanted to get married?!"

"Couldn't you hear the loathing in our voices when we were talking to each other?!"

"How do we annul the contract?"

Harry and Blaise paused to allow the priest to answer that very important question and to catch their breath.

"Well, it's a legal, binding marriage. In the Muggle world it would be a simple matter of explaining things to the appropriate legal department and getting a divorce," the priest explained.

Harry sighed, trying to calm himself down. "And in the Wizarding world?"

"Um… In Wizarding society it's illegal to divorce unless… well, you don't want to do that."

"Do what?" Blaise asked, dreading the answer.

"One of you would have to be dead. Witches and Wizards have always settled their disputes within the family, they don't want things becoming public knowledge. And you know how much the Ministry hates change, they wanted to keep marriage traditional. It certainly stops people from hasty decisions," the old man explained cheerfully.

There was silence. "I'm going to kill him," Harry stated calmly.

Zabini sighed. "As much as I would like to assist you, to do it here and now would lead the authorities to suspect us. We'd have to plan for a couple of weeks at least on finding a sufficiently torturous way to murder him and hide the evidence. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold."

"I suppose," Harry reluctantly conceded.

Nothing like plotting murder to bring two people together.

By that point the priest was beginning to get slightly worried, however, as he believed the best in people he decided that they were simply joking. Even being an optimistic person, he wasn't completely stupid.

"I'm sorry, but we're closing for the evening. You'll need to inform Gringotts of your change in situation, and they can handle my bill. Goodbye!"

The two were quickly rushed out of the small building and the door was slammed shut behind them. Harry could hear the sound of several locks sliding into place on the other side of the door.

"So, what now?" the Slytherin asked with a sigh of resignation.

"I suppose we should go to Gringotts. They should be able to find the rest of this kid's family too," Harry replied, looking down at the giggling child he held in his arms.

The two swiftly wove through the crowds of people who had gathered in Diagon Alley to inspect the damage as Aurors and renovation teams cleaned up the area, and made their way through the large gilded entrance to Gringotts Bank.

Harry walked up to the first teller and bowed slightly as the goblin glared down at him.

'The Moon grants silver,' Harry said in flawless Gobbledegook.

The goblin's eyes widened and he bowed slightly in return. 'Just as worthy as the Sun's gold.'

'May I speak to Goldeye?'

The goblin frowned. 'I believe he will be able to see you. Spinbrak!' he called, and another goblin ran over to them, saluting the teller. 'Take him to Goldeye's office.'

Harry bowed again. 'Thank you. May Odin grant you wealth.'

'And Thor guide you well.'

With that, the guide set off with Harry and a confused Zabini just behind him.

"What was that?" the Slytherin hissed.

"I was getting us a meeting with my account manager. Goblins will respect you if you respect them and their customs," Harry grinned slightly. "Well, it also helps if you have a lot of money."

"Where did you learn Gobbledegook?" he questioned with a glare.

"You could say I have a gift for languages."

'Didn't you just leave?' came a harsh voice from behind them.

Harry turned swiftly and smiled. 'Hello to you too Goldeye.'

The well-dressed goblin snorted and walked into his office, dismissing the guide with a wave of his gnarled hand. 'I think I scared your friend.'

'You sound so apologetic,' the Gryffindor said as he and Zabini sat down opposite Goldeye.

'So, what happened in the two hours since you were here?' Goldeye questioned.

Harry winced. 'Heh, well- Ow!"

Zabini, in an act of subtlety, kicked Harry in the leg to show just how much he appreciated being left out of the conversation. When they both looked at him, he put on an innocent face.

"Would you prefer if we spoke in English then?" Harry asked sarcastically with a glare.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied.

"Bloody Slytherin," Harry muttered.

"Gryffindor," Zabini replied with a sneer.

"Children!" Goldeye reprimanded, drawing their attention away from each other.

Harry grimaced whilst Blaise remained unabashed. "I apologise Goldeye."

"Now, you were explaining why you have come back…" the goblin prompted.

"Yes, well… you see… Um…"

"We accidentally got married," Zabini supplied bluntly.

Goldeye's mouth twitched. "I see. If you would excuse me for a minute?"

The goblin promptly got up and left the room. Harry and Blaise sat in silence until the harsh cackle of the account manager reached their ears. The Slytherin crossed his arms in annoyance as Goldeye walked back in, Harry staring at him in shock.

"Sorry about that, back to business."

"Er, yes. We were wondering what's going to happen now," the Gryffindor stated.

Goldeye shuffled some papers around his desk. "The first thing you should know is that there is a period of six months in which it is mandatory for a married couple to be living together. If you don't meet this requirement then the Ministry will be alerted and they will send a representative to assess the situation. I gather that you don't want the public to be alerted to the fact that you are married?"

The two nodded.

"Does it matter if we don't share a bedroom?" Harry asked hopefully.

"It's generally expected, so I would suggest figuring out what to do once you're back at Hogwarts. Now, I gather that you don't want your vaults joined as of yet?"

"No!" they yelled simultaneously.

Goldeye chuckled. "Well that's one less thing to worry about. I would also recommend obtaining wedding bands, I believe there are some in your family vault, Harry."

"Is that really necessary?" Zabini questioned.

"Not really, however the bands in the Potter family vault contain many charms that have been added over the centuries," Goldeye explained.

"That reminds me, is the house nearly finished?" Harry asked.

"Ah, I believe it will still be a month or so before it is liveable."

"I suppose we'll have to figure something out then. Oh, do you know if it's possible to locate this girl's family? Her mother was killed and we don't know about her father or sibling."

Blaise looked down at the child the Gryffindor was holding in surprise. He had forgotten that she was there, she was being so quiet. So was his own little sister for that matter.

Goldeye smiled, showing his pointed teeth. "I believe we can handle that. If you would like, I can call Griphook to take you down to your vault now to chose some bands."

"Thanks," Harry said as he stood.

As he shifted the girl into a standing position, she took Goldeye's hand and grinned up at Harry.

"Harry!" she said with a childish accent. "Bye bye!"

Harry smiled and waved as she walked out the door holding the goblin's hand. Just before they left, the girl turned to Goldeye and stated in a quite serious tone for a toddler; "Harry marry."

Harry scowled as the goblin's laughter echoed down the hallway.


Author's Note

Ok people, I can see that people are reading it, it shows up on the statistics. But I really, really, really, really, really like reviews so... it doesn't even have to be more than 'Nice story' or 'I hate it, you should be burned at the stake'. Well, preferably the first kind, I'd probably get depressed if I got a flame. :Sigh: Oh well.

Thanks to all of my reviewers; Oshiiyume, krachum, fifespice, JuMiKu, and TwinHighElf222. I probably wouldn't have updated if it wasn't for you.

FGoI