Thank you to my reviewers so far, I think we have some Ben fans, and the point about Ben is that he is nice, he's a really nice guy...but is that really enough ? And do we sometimes all pick the person we really want to be with or the person that is really good to us, because they aren't always quite the same thing...
Chapter 3
Blaine looked at his watch, Wes was meeting him at the coffee shop and he should be there soon. He went back to looking at his books, noting the sound of the coffee shop door opening, he looked up, it wasn't Wes but a tallish blonde guy, conservatively but well dressed and good looking, not the sort of good looks that Blaine was particularly into but there was no doubt by most standards the guy was good looking…and well groomed. Blaine didn't give him much more thought, and he disappeared from Blaine's line of vision, at about that moment Wes walked in. " Hey" he said loudly flopping into the chair opposite Blaine, Wes really didn't care about his posture.
"I'll get us some coffee then " said Blaine getting up.
"Your turn" replied Wes looking a little tired.
Blaine smirked tilting his head to the side and getting up walking to the queue to take his place behind the tallish blonde guy who was waiting his turn in line while talking on his mobile. There wasn't much else going on, so while Blaine wasn't deliberately trying to listen he couldn't help but over hear.
"Yep babe, I'll be over in ( he paused to look at his watch) may be an hour, I am just getting a coffee, and I'll go home and shower…what shall I bring ( pause) no, I have to bring something…your flatmate will think I am some ill bread peasant. May be I should bring her some flowers?" there was a pause and the tallish guy laughed before continuing " Ok Kurt may be I should bring you some flowers…" he laughed again before ending the call with a " bye babe".
Blaine was annoyed with himself for over hearing, it had been four years and just the very mention of his ex boyfriend's name still rattled him. Don't be an idiot, there's more than one Kurt in New York, may be he's not in New York, well Kurt is a common name…well not that common, may be in Germany it's more common, he knew other Kurt's, no he didn't know anyone else with the name Kurt. Stop it, you are being ridiculous, of course there are other Kurts…anyway Kurt wouldn't be with someone who is so, well actually he seemed nice, bit on the Young Republican side but still …oh stop torturing yourself.
The tallish guy had ordered his coffee and left, he looked happy thought Blaine, may be his Kurt was like mine. The one I had before I so badly messed things up. Blaine ordered his usual medium drip and a latte for Wes, and a cookie which he reluctantly knew that he would have to share with Wes.
"You took your time" said Wes as Blaine placed the coffee in front of him.
" funny, the traditional response would be " thank you" " said Blaine a little huffily and distracted as he took his seat again.
"Oooh…what's up with you then…sudden bout of PMT or something ?"
" Nothing" said Blaine, he felt it would be pitiful to tell Wes the real reason. After the breakup with Kurt, it was Blaine's friends from his old schoold Dalton that he really could confide in. Like it or not people took sides, he didn't blame them, he was in the wrong, so in the wrong, and Kurt needed his friends too so he found that the friends he had made when left Dalton to be in Kurts school remained loyal to Kurt. That all seemed so long ago, and Kurt had then left for New York being just a year older than him. So there was Blaine in Kurt's old school without Kurt and hanging around with the friends that he had left behind at Dalton because they were the only ones to not judge him, out of some form of loyalty, but also because they had spent years with Blaine and it was only to them that Blaine told him the confused muddled mess that was going on his mind when he hurt Kurt so badly in that horrible moment. He always tried his best to not think about it, it pulled him down and it made him feel horrible and dirty. Years might have passed but he found it hard not to despise himself still when he thought about it all. It wasn't as though the friends that he got to know through Kurt were mean to him or anything, they were just polite too polite, they got on with him but he felt excluded. The invites to weekend parties and hanging out together stopped, he sort of wondered whether it concided with visits from Kurt home but he got the feeling that they were supporting Kurt out of loyalty and that's what he wanted. He had hurt Kurt and he wanted his friends to protect him and take away some of the pain that he had caused.
" You don't look as though its nothing…"
" Just a bit of a boring day at work and then all this stuff to do…" he motioned to the pile of papers on his desk.
"Ok" replied Wes not really believing Blaine at all.
" Welcome Ben" said Rachel, opening the door excitedly and gesturing for Ben to come in. He was wearing jeans a white shirt and a suit jacket, he carried a small bunch of roses, a bottle of wine and a gift wrapped box of chocolates that looked expensive. " Thank you, I got these for you " he said handing over the roses and "
" What's for me then" said a Kurt in a bright voice behind Rachel as he bounded to the door, pulling Ben forward.
" See I have rescued you…"
"Kurt" said Rachel in a whine, " We have only just said hello…."
" You can talk over dinner, not on the door step"said Kurt kissing Ben quickly and ushering him into the apartment.
The evening was a success, Rachel and Ben got on, they laughed a lot between them and Ben wanted to know all sorts of things about Kurt from when he was at school. " So did Kurt have a High School Sweet Heart" asked Ben lightheartedly as he cut his into his duck with cherry sauce. He didn't pick up on the mood change that was happening around him.
" He's never told me…" he asked again after he had begun gently chewing his meat, looking up at both of them who had now stopped eating.
" There's lots that I haven't told you about me yet…" interjected Kurt, " that's part of getting to know each other… " He said doing his best to not sound ruffled. Unfortunately he was probably doing too good a job of things as Ben didn't notice his uncomfortableness at all.
"So did he ?"
" Ben.. may be we could talk about this stuff some other time please ?" said Kurt with a mock warning in his voice, " there's plenty I want to ask you too mister, but may be with Rachel here it's not the right time" Ben shrugged his shoulders, and for the first time felt a little awkward.
" Sure babe" he said softly not wanting to sour the tone of the evening.
" Thank you" Kurt all but whispered, and gently reached across the table to squeeze Ben's hand gently.
Rachel stared intently at her plate, pushing the meat round and gulping a little water from her glass.
This wasn't what Ben had expected, he thought it would be something like " a few admirers " or something casual and innocent. He didn't think that it would cause a sudden tension in the room.
" Oh well I suppose High School Sweet hearts are better left with memories of High School" added Ben apologetically, and gently squeezing Kurt's hand back, mouthing the word " sorry"
" I'll drink to that " said Kurt topping up his glass and taking a large gulp, followed by the others.
" Pudding" said Rachel clapping her hands wildly, sensing that the conversation had moved on and if it hadn't it really needed to move on.
Ben had left that evening around 10.00. Rachel had yawned rather dramatically at around 9.00 saying that she needed her beauty sleep and kissed them both good night. That left an hour for a make out session in Kurt's room. It was the next morning over breakfast that the real interrogation began, neither had classes until noon and Kurt had hoped to pour himself a quiet coffee before embarking upon the day.
"Well…I didn't expect you to be up so early.." she said breezily carrying a bundle of washing in her arms.
"Ben left early, he has work today remember…" said Kurt a little snottily, he could be grumpy in the morning and he knew it.
"I thought he'd stay over.." Rachel said with a questioning voice.
Kurt just shrugged and carried on reading emails on his phone and chewing his toast.
" I'll make some toast then" she said shoving her clothing into the washer.
"Ok…Rachel, would you like me to put some toast on for you…" Kurt said, knowing that he wasn't going to get rid of Rachel's questioning quite so easily.
"perfect" she said as she finished with the washing putting on the machine.
They continued in a jaunty conversation for a few minutes more until both were settled with their breakfast and coffee.
"So aren't you going to ask me what I thought…?"
"What did you think Rachel" Kurt replied obligingly.
"He's nice…"
"Good, I am glad you like him, glad we got that over…"
"Kurt…"
"Yes, Rachel…"
"Kurt" Rachel's voice sounded gentler now, and warmer.
"Do you really like him then…"
Kurt put his phone down which he had picked up to play with some more, this was going to take longer if he didn't give Rachel his full attention.
" I do, I told you before, he's really nice to me, he's always attentive and thoughtful.."
Rachel nodded. She knew Kurt was right but she also knew that it wasn't enough, it wouldn't have been enough for her and it was certainly not enough for Kurt.
" I know, he's really polite…and he adores you…"
"And Rachel..?"
"Promise me you won't go mad at me. .. because I am saying this because I care about you"
" It's just that he's, he's just not may be as fun as I would have thought ? "
" Rachel it was dinner, what's he meant to do ? do a party trick or something to keep you entertained.."
"You promised…"
"that's not me being mad.."
" It's not that, he's just a little serious, yes he adore's you but he's just not very.. he's not someone who would stand out in a crowd and you are Kurt, you're the sort of guy that you only need to meet once and people remember you, you're so individual and he's not…"
"So you're saying that my boy friend is a bit erm, nondescript then?"
" That's a bit harsh…"
"May be I don't want the guy who is the soloist anymore, the one who is class president, the one who always gets the leads, may be I don't want the alpha boyfriend, that I am always afraid that I am lucky to have and that I am not deep down good enough for, that I have to chase for nearly a year and then he finally notices me and then when he isn't getting 100% of my attention because finally the spotlight is on me, just for a moment, he goes and sleeps with some random guy he meet's on the internet….may be I want the safe guy Rachel .." Kurt's voice was quivering as he spoke and his eyes filling with tears.
" Kurt, I am sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I am really sorry, Ben is nice and he makes you happy, and that's all I really want for you…just to be happy.."
" I know Rachel, but he's good to me and I do really like him, he's what I need…"
"Just promise me you won't compromise though Kurt" she asked knowing that he had already.
So there we are... we get a lot more of Blaine very very soon ...oh and some more Ben. Please please review it really helps motivate me and adjust the chapters that I have written a head...see you all at the weekend, when the next chapter will be posted.. xx
