Hello there^^
Impossible, I actually had the chance to update, hooray!
There's not much I can say, except it becomes quite hard for Paul and Noah ;)
Thank you all for all your kind reviews^^ and it's nice to see that there're so many Fans of this book out there =D
BTW: The name of Laura's girlfriend is never mentioned in the book, so I just called her Jazmin (because I like that name^^) I hope you don't mind.
I'll try to deliver the next chap ASAP, but I can't promise anything.
Anyway, please enjoy =D
Disclaimer: I don't own Boy meets Boys
At home, I don't realize me standing in front of our phone for exactly seven minutes and twenty-three seconds, my hand hanging a few inches above the receiver. I want to talk to someone right now. And it can't be Noah, because he is part of the topic, at least a bit, like two-thirds maybe. I go through all the people I could call right now.
Emily.
Amy.
Laura.
Jazmin.
Ted.
Kyle.
Tony.
Infinite Darlene.
Amber.
Joni.
Wait, I gotta cancel the last name. I want to talk to her since weeks now and I have tried to find the right words, but I can't manage to put them all together, because I don't even know how to make things right because I don't know what went wrong in the first place.
"Honey, if you don't like to call someone, could you please move a bit? I want to call your uncle for a change, checking if he's back from Canada already…"
I grab the receiver and press it to my chest like a father his new born son. My mother lifts her hands in amusement.
"Ok, ok, my brother can wait, dear. What would you like for dinner?"
"Anything`s fine" I mutter.
I run upstairs, finally making a decision. I'll call Amber.
...
"Hey, uhm… it's me"
"I know" she laughs and I feel a bit better.
"Am I disturbing you right now? I could call later…" I say and pray that she has nothing to do right now.
"No, I was just tiding up my room but that's not important… not even necessary, but try to tell that my mum…"
I sit down on my bed and lean my back against my pillows.
"So Paul, what's up? You don't sound well, you know?"
I rub my neck and close my eyes. After a few heartbeats of silence, I tell her everything, faster than I wanted to, sounding more desperate than I planned to.
"…Amber, am I freaking out?" I ask at the end of my monologue.
The whole time she hasn't interrupted me, only listened to me silently.
"Well… I understand your worries… But he's just the ex-boyfriend. There's nothing between Noah and that guy anymore. Why don't you just go and trust him a bit?"
I sigh. Deeply. Something I don't do very often.
"But he called him! What kind of guy cheats on his boyfriend and then comes crawling back after months?" I say and sound really childish, mixed with anxiety.
"Sorry, but… Kyle did the same, right? Besides, Kyle was your ex-boyfriend and you two even have classes together and go to the same school and don't even live far from each other. Don't you think, for Noah, it was just the same? Knowing that Kyle was still there and the issue with Tony, he still let himself like you. Don't you think that you're a little unfair now, Paul?"
Her words are honest and help me more than thousand words of mollification or comfort. I feel bad, but in a good way. Probably I was just freaking out about nothing.
"You're right… Really right. Sorry for making you listen to so much crap, I just didn't know…"
"It's alright, Paul. We're friends, right?" she says and I have to smile.
It's nice hearing those words again.
"Well then, see ya tomorrow in school"
"Yeah. Goodnight!"
"Sleep tight!"
She hangs up. I let the phone slip on my mattress and look out of the window. Friends… I grimace, an image of a well-known girl hanging in front of my inner eyes. I really am the worst.
...
The next day starts in a really strange way. I have to go to school alone, because my brother overslept. When I went out of the front door, Jay was yelling at my mum, because she literally kicked him out of bed and into the bathroom, a wet, cold washcloth her weapon. As I walk through the icy snowy maze on the street and pavement, which my dad and our neighbors spend the whole yesterday afternoon shoveling, I see, not far away, someone standing at the corner of a street, looking up to the street sign which says 'Stop'. I have to pass the guy; otherwise I'd have to make a detour as long as the Milky Way. But actually, I can't really explain why, I feel strange having to pass him.
The snow crunches beneath my steps, but he doesn't notice me. Or he ignores me. I don't know why, but it's hard to ignore him. Since he stares so intently up at the sign. I follow his gaze, but I can't see what's so exciting about a stop sign. He wears a dark blue jacket and grey jeans; his feet have vanished in the knee-deep snow. I can't really tell what color his hair has, because he wears a grey wooly hat. And it's completely impossible to tell how old he is, only by looking at his back side. I know that it's really none of my business, but I'd feel worried, leaving him staring at the sign outside here in the snow. So I carefully step closer.
"Er.. sorry…?"
He turns around, clearly surprised.
"May I help you somehow?"
He blinks and his eyes of the color of clouds in a storm flash curiously. He has white skin and his face, framed by black, messy strands of hair, is handsome and also a bit arrogant, as if he knew perfectly how good-looking he is. He is a bit taller and probably also a bit older than me, because he looks down on me the same way my brother does when he knows something I don't because I'm younger than him.
"Thanks, but I'm perfectly fine" he grins and I know that he doesn't take me serious.
I shrug. Fine, keep standing there until your pretty butt is frozen, I think and start walking again. After a few minutes, as I reach the steps up into school, I have forgotten about him already.
...
I don't manage to see Noah before classes, because, for some reason, he has been to school late, too. And, for some reason, I'm glad not having to face him already, because I still don't know how to handle the situation from yesterday afternoon. And, for some reason, I wonder if it's a good idea to ask him about the phone call from Pitt.
"Hey Paul"
"Morning, Ted"
Ted sits down next to me, leaving a scent after coldness and ice behind and dripping some molten snowflakes into my neck. Like always, I can't keep my eyes from travelling over his face to see signs of a sleepless night and having been drunk. I'm relieved as I find none.
"When's the meeting to organize the Christmas Party?"
"Tomorrow, after sixth period"
"Great. I´ll be there"
I haven't expected anything else, since he asked in the first place.
"Already an idea on what to do exactly?"
"No"
I sigh and rest my chin in my palms and my elbows on my French book.
"What did you do last year?".
I try to remember. "I believe that it was the year where we presented Christmas traditions from all over the world, showing everyone how people in Africa, Japan, Sweden, Ireland, Brazil and Peru celebrate it"
"That's cool". "Yes, but we can't do the same thing this year, again"
"I know".
Our French teacher enters and we fall silent. I try to keep track on the lesson. But soon, my thoughts start to travel, from the Christmas Party to my boyfriend, to his ex-boyfriend and to the play. I wonder if I'll make it…
...
"Hey, how 'bout returning to the roots?" Ted mutters later in the first break, as we sit together in the school's library. Amber, Emily, Amy, Infinite Darlene, Laura, her girlfriend Jazmin and I look at him as if he had gone completely mental now.
"Uhm… Sorry, Ted?" Amy says carefully, staring at him with worry in her eyes.
Ted stares out of the almost snow-covered window, forgetting his history essay lying in front of him.
"You know… the real reason why we celebrate Christmas. The one and only and oldest message. What it means for all of us. The same feeling we all share when thinking about it…"
We stay silent, each musing over his idea. Which isn't practically bad. Actually, it's brilliant and I almost wish it had been me to suggest it. But the reason, why it was Ted, makes me frown. Because… The feeling we all have when thinking about Christmas… wanting to spend time together with those we love…
I steal a glance at him. He still stares out of the window, eyes somewhat empty and lacking the joy and brightness they once were overflowing with. He still misses her… I sigh and rub my eyes, feeling tired now. Why is my life suddenly becoming so complicated? Someone enters the library. I look to the side and see my boyfriend approaching me. I hope it'll work out somehow…
...
Later, as Noah and I have some time alone, between fifth and sixth period, he is the first to bring up the topic with the call of his ex.
"Uhm he… he just asked me if I liked this new town and if I had found a few people to hang out with already. Then he told me a bit about our school and news there"
He stops, looking anxious. I wait, not knowing what to say, anyway.
"He says he wanted to see me"
His words feel like a heavy ball of ice inside my stomach. I look away. Keep silent.
"Paul?"
"So?"
"What?"
"Do you want to see him, too?"
Now he looks really anxious. "I don't know. Actually, I wanted to ask you if you were okay with it"
Does that mean, you want to see him? After he broke your heart and threw it away like a used handkerchief?, I want to yell, but I keep silent again.
"Paul?"
"It's nothing of my business, so you can decide for yourself, right?" I say and I sound a lot colder than I wanted to. Immediately his green eyes narrow.
"Why are you doing that?"
"I am not doing anything! You're the one who wants to go see his ex!"
"And you said that it's none of your business"
"Yeah, so go, meet him, I don't care!"
"It really isn't anything of your business. And you know what? I will do so. I'll go meet him. So, what are you gonna do now?"
Please stop that! I didn't mean to say that! It's not what I mean, I cry in my mind, but I can't stop.
"Fine with me"
Noah looks at me angrily. "See you later"
"Yeah"
He storms away to his class, leaving me leaning tiredly against my locker. He and Pitt haven't even met yet and already now, things go totally wrong. I wanted to say that I don't want him to meet him, but I want to be able to trust him, too, more than anything else. Saying 'I love you' doesn't mean 'I trust you'. Latter is definitely more complicated to say. And to feel. I sigh. Things go wrong, totally wrong. And it seems like I can't do anything to stop that.
...
Later, after school, we stand in our usual circle of friends, chatting about what we could do this evening, as Jazmin and Laura suddenly appear, pushing their bicycles through the snow.
"Noah!" Jazmin says, her hair full of little ice crystals.
"Yes?"
"At the school gate there's a guy standing, he says that he knows you"
My heart becomes heavy.
"A guy who knows him?" Amber repeats thoughtfully, looking at me.
"Ok" my boyfriend answers, smiling politely at her.
As we leave the school grounds all in one group (most of them because of curiosity) first thing I see is the guy from this morning leaning against the gate, hands in his pocket, perfectly relaxed and probably enjoying the gazes of the girls that pass him. There's no mistaken that he's waiting for someone.
"Wow, he's handsome" Emily whispers into my ear.
This doesn't make me feel any better.
"Is it him?" I ask, part of me praying that Noah will say 'No'.
"Yes, that's Pitt"
And all I think is Damn it
To be continued...
Sooo, it's getting exciting, right? Muhahaha!
Pitt is never described in the books, so I just made him the way he is pictured here. I'll try to make his character as authentic as possivble, though in the book Noah only mentions how much he has hurt him and cheated on him and so on.
I hope you liked it ^^
Please review =D
