Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.
Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.
A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. Please don't hesitate to tell me.
HOPING FOR TOMORROW
Chapter 3: REALization
Chloe did end up taking a walk that night to ease her mind off of things. But she could only last about 15 minutes before heading up to her apartment again, due to the cold breeze. She was very scared for tomorrow, because she didn't know what to expect. She kind of wished she asked Beca to come with her, but ego beat her need. So she slept that night, tossing and turning, and before she knew it, it was already time to go.
Chloe walked in with a sick feeling in her stomach, the way that the automatic door opens in the chemotherapy treatment part of the hospital, scares her. She's thankful that she wore comfortable and warm clothes, because she felt a little chilly. She walked over to the nurse behind the counter and gave her name.
She was kindly led to a small room where they did a bunch of tests. They weighed her, took her temperature and blood pressure, measured her height and took her blood. Then she was led to another room, 'presumably the waiting room' Chloe thought, and she sat down. Chloe took in her surroundings, there was a man in a business suit who was reading the newspaper, an old lady who was staring blindly at the small tv, and a child with her mom who looked very scared to be here. There were also the occasional nurses walking around, 'too cheerfully' Chloe thought, to pass tests to back and forth.
Within twenty-ish minutes of waiting, the same nurse who took her tests came to Chloe with a big smile on her face. And Chloe can't help but scowl a little.
"Chloe Beale right?" The nurse said pronouncing the Beale part a little wrong.
"Yea," Chloe doesn't bother to correct her though.
"So Chloe your tests came out fine, and if you're ready, we're going to prepare the dosage for you now. Okay?" She smiled.
"Sure," Chloe responds, she was taken into a room, within another room. And suddenly the atmosphere changed. A lot. These people looked half-dead and Chloe became more scared than she was before. She was asked to sit down on a chair and the nurse began to prepare the stuff.
"Chloe, I want you to relax okay?" She asked, and Chloe nodded. 'And I want to get out of here, but we can't all have what we want. Can we?' Chloe sighed.
When the nurse went to get something, she finally looked around the room. There were mostly people in their 50-60s there. Most of them were asleep, letting the IV drop into their body. But one person stood out to Chloe the most, and that was the kid beside her, who was playing his iPhone. He looked like he was not more than 15 years old, and Chloe felt nostalgic. Now she thought about the kids she was teaching and about her job. What was she going to do? She knew she can't teach within these 3 months, so maybe she would take a break first. Chloe sighed for the nth time that day.
The nurse came back with a bag of liquid inside, she put it above Chloe's head in a hanger type thing. And without a moment's hesitation there were needles inside her skin as Chloe gripped tightly to the chair. She watched as the blue clear fluid went inside her vein. And Chloe can't help but think, that now she wishes Beca was here.
Chloe took a deep breath and took out her phone and earphones out of her bag. She blasted one of Beca's mixes she made for her and tried to drown herself in it. But Chloe started feeling weak, and she started getting a headache. She brushed it off as the feeling of nervousness. But how she was so very wrong.
-Pandas-
Beca was in her study at home making mixes. She had one side of the headphone out of her ear so she could hear if Chloe calls. An unfamiliar number displayed on Beca's phone and she groaned. She didn't want to deal with work right now, and what if Chloe tries to call her when she's taking this call. But Beca answers it nonetheless.
"Hello?" Beca greeted.
"Hi! Is this Beca Mitchell?" The person on the other line asked.
"Yes this is. I'm sorry, is this important? Because I'm expecting an important call right now from one of my friends. I'm out of the studio today, so if you have questions please ask Cynthia-Rose, my assistant." Beca responded.
"Oh, umm. This is rather important. My name is Jane, I'm Chloe's nurse at the treatment center. She has you listed as her second emergency contact next to Aubrey Posen. I tried to contact her, but Ms. Posen wasn't able to answer her phone after multiple calls," Jane explained.
"Oh! Is Chloe alright? Where is she? Did something happen?" Beca questioned, now sounding worried.
"She reacted badly to the fluids we gave her, and her body started throwing it out of her system. She had violent nausea and vomited everything. She won't eat or drink anything except one glass of water, admitting that she would throw up again if she did. We're keeping her overnight and giving her nutrients and vitamins, along with another medicine called Dolasetron, approved by the doctor to control her vomiting."
Beca lowered herself more into her chair. She suddenly feels like she can't breathe, and started to freak out. She knows she has to clear her head first before visiting Chloe. "Is she alright though? Like right now? Can I visit her?" Beca feels light-headed, like she's going to faint.
"Oh she's alright now. She's resting in her room. She tried to ask to call you just now, but when I came back with her bag, she was out cold." Jane sounds really calm and her voice indicates that maybe she's done this too many times before.
Beca's already gone up to her feet and is going to change out of her clothes. "Great I'll be there soon, what floor is she on?"
"She's on the fifth floor, room 542. I'll see you soon Beca, please visit me in the reception first though. You're also welcome to spend the night here too." Jane answered.
"Great. See you soon Jane." Beca hung up.
-Pandas-
Beca registered the time as 4pm. She was driving unbelievably fast, and is surprised a cop didn't pull her over. She arrived at the hospital in 44 minutes because she went to Chloe's apartment first and got her clean clothes for tomorrow. Beca then burst through the door of the hospital, eliciting several stares from a few people and asked for Jane. She was immediately greeted with a blonde girl in scrubs.
"Hi! You must be Beca," Jane waved, and Beca slightly waved back.
"Yea that's me," Beca awkwardly smiled. Jane lead her through the elevator and pass countless of doors. Jane was speaking something about Chloe's state but Beca can't bring herself to listen. She was distracted by the atmosphere around here, it's dead. It sent shivers up Beca's spine. And all of the people they passed look so tired and worn out, like their souls have been sucked up from their body and Beca was witnessing front row seats of it.
"... then we led her to her room where she lays now. Her reaction is very rare but not unheard of, I actually had to deal with these several times since I've worked here. She didn't mention any allergy to the drug that we gave her, so we assumed it's fine. But turns out that she was allergic to it. She did mention earlier in the dosage that she was feeling a little bit dizzy, but that was pretty common, so we shrugged it off as nothing, but pretty soon she's been coughing and hacking and vomiting violently." Jane stopped to take a breath and Beca was finally listening to what she was saying.
"She's pretty tired, we've got IV pumped into her, the nutrients she needs because she won't eat, and also another drug that's keeping her white blood cells count, she lost a pretty large amount back there."
After what seemed like an endless journey through many corridors and pathways. They finally stopped at room 524. Beca should've paid attention to wear they were going, because she was sure, she can't find a way back. She leaned against the wall before the door and her vision was slightly blurred. She took a second to close her eyes and breathe because she's not sure if she can see Chloe in a state like this yet.
Jane looked at Beca with pity. "It's hard for you huh? To watch a friend be like this?"
The normal Beca would've made a sarcastic comment back, but now she just nods with her head bowed down. Almost admitting defeat.
"It'll get easier kid. She's really tough. She's been through a lot today and I doubt she will give up anytime soon," Jane smiled emphatically.
Then sounds could be heard from inside the room and it doesn't sound pretty. A look of confusion and worry replaced Jane's nice smile as she quickly opened the door. Chloe was gagging and clutching her stomach. Beca went in and tried to keep herself together. Beca lets out a little noise of whimper as she caught Chloe in the eyes for merely a second. She's sat up with one hand on the bed keeping her up and one on her stomach. The nurse holding a sick bag to her face incase she's going to throw up again. There's a variety of tubes going through Chloe's body, two on either side of her antecubital area and one on her left wrist.
The sounds from Chloe's body is very hard to listen to. Beca can almost feel the pain that's coming out of Chloe's throat. The way the nurse is holding on to Chloe's back with her other hand is so careful, as if she put anymore force Chloe's body would break. Chloe's face is pale, along with the rest of her body. And she looks so weak that every gag or hack that comes out her mouth might bring her body into the brink of dea- But Beca doesn't want to think about that consequence.
After her coughing fit slightly cooled off, Jane threw away the bag and gave Chloe a glass of water. Which Chloe only sips a little bit out of. Jane immediately went to checking her vitals, her bags and her tubes, if something is out of the ordinary. But found nothing.
"Chloe, honey, I called Beca here to spend the night with you. Is that okay? I found her number in your emergency contacts list, and was the one who answered. Just continue to rest okay?" Jane smiled.
Beca watched their interaction and knew that Chloe was grateful that the nurse called her. Chloe is nodding her head while she laid back down with the hand without the tube covering her face. Jane finished with Chloe and turned to Beca.
"Her vitals are fine and nothing seems out of place. There are no signs of other infections or reactions. She'll be able to sleep fine and there is a couch over there for you to sleep in. If anything happens again, press this yellow button and I'll come over straight away. If I somehow come a little late, there are bags over here in case she vomits again and this red button will indicate an emergency, but don't press it unless she's not responding well at all," Jane explains and smiles at the end. She moves through the room and looks back once again to Beca before disappearing to tend to other patients.
Beca turns to face Chloe who still has her eyes shut with her hand on them. She's breathing slightly heavy from all the commotion and is slightly shivering. She set her stuff down at the couch and stood beside Chloe. She took a seat beside her and removed her hand from her face. Chloe's eyes were still tightly closed and now she's shaking violently. Beca begins to panic, her hand reaching out to the yellow button. But stops when a tear and sob comes out of Chloe, and Beca soon comes with the fact that Chloe's crying.
"Hey hey hey hey, don't cry Chlo. I'm here okay? And I'm not leaving your side. I'm here Chloe, I'm here." Beca soothed Chloe taking her arms in hers. She laid down beside Chloe and held her while saying stuff that would soothe her. Chloe's face buried deep on Beca's side, as she silently cried. Beca doesn't even know what she's saying half of the time, she just needs to tell Chloe that she's here.
It stays like this for a while and Beca's eye grew tired, she looked over to her side and sees Chloe. From any other perspective, they would think Chloe's sleeping, but Beca knows better and Chloe's merely resting. And if Chloe's not sleeping yet, Beca isn't too.
"Thank you," A weak voice from Chloe comes out. And Beca genuinely smiles. "For being here," Chloe finished.
"I told you I would," Beca responded hugging Chloe tighter.
-Pandas-
It was well after midnight now and Beca's still not asleep, she changed clothes a little while before and was pacing in Chloe's room while she was asleep. She dialed a number and let it ring. It rang five times before the other line answered,
"Hello? Beca? What are you doing calling me at 12:21 in the morning?" Aubrey complained.
"Well in case you didn't know, the hospital called you several times. Apparently Chloe has had an allergic reaction to the treatment and you were her first emergency number. But you weren't there to pick up." Beca grunted slightly annoyed.
"Oh so that's who that was, I tried calling the number back but apparently it doesn't take calls, it only makes it," Aubrey explained.
"What if I wasn't there to answer mine Aubrey? What if Chloe hadn't put my number in her emergency contacts? She was suffering and you didn't answer the goddamn phone! What were you doing anyway that deems more importance than your own best friend's health?!" Beca scolded quietly not wanting to wake Chloe.
"I was in the shower…" Aubrey answered. "What!?" Beca shrieked.
"What the fuck Aubrey? I kept my phone around me 24/7 in case anything comes up! You should know better!"
"Look! I'm sorry that I didn't answer the 5 missed calls. Thank God that you're there to help her! Do you want me to come over to the hospital or something? Is Chloe alright though?" Aubrey asked.
"Chloe's fine… For now... Look from now on, keep your phone with you at all times. Even when you shower put it beside your sink or something, we have to be there for her Bree, she looked so fragile and tired and I, I, I-" Beca began tearing up now. Although Aubrey and her aren't that close, they're still friends.
"Shh Beca it's alright, it'll be fine. Chloe's strong okay? I have the utmost confidence in her that she won't let cancer bring her down." Aubrey tried to comfort Beca.
"Yea, yea, I'll keep you updated, leave your phone near you tonight okay? I nee-" Beca was cut off by a sound from the room. Chloe was having a coughing fit again.
"Oh shit! Bree, I got to go, Chloe's reacting again! Bye!" Beca exclaimed.
"Wait what? Bec-" Beca hung up the call. Beca quickly turned her heel and grabbed one of the bags on the table. Chloe started vomiting heavily again and her breathing are labored now. Beca rubbed circles behind her back and held out the bag for her to vomit into. She looks like she's hyperventilating and Beca hates not being able to do anything about it.
"That's it Chlo, let it out, let it out," Beca tried to comfort her. Chloe begins hacking again but now nothing comes out, it's like something's stuck on her throat. Suddenly Chloe's hand found her neck and she began to not breathe and Beca quickly pressed the red button.
As soon as that happened Jane and another doctor came in and took the matter into their hands. Beca was pushed back towards the sofa, not bearing to look at what's happening. Chloe's body was shuddering, she can't breathe. And everything seems to be growing blurrier and blurrier. It was a good 15 minutes before Chloe started to breathe normally again, almost normally. Her body was still moving, she had tears in her eyes and a death grip on the bed sheets.
The doctor and Jane were discussing something and Beca took this opportunity to stand beside Chloe again. Chloe looked up slowly to meet Beca's gaze and Beca put her arm on Chloe's back rubbing soothing circles. Both the doctor and Jane now looked towards Beca and went to stand on the foot of the bed.
"Hello Beca, I'm Doctor Neal, but please call me Alex. I am Chloe's primary caretaker in this hospital," She smiled slightly. Beca took in the doctor's features, she had bags under her eyes, creases on her forehead and she looked a little pale. Her eyes were also a little red and her uniform could do a little iron.
"Hi, I'm Beca, Chloe's best friend," Beca smiled back. Alex nodded and turned to Chloe.
"Well it seems that you're fine Chloe, this is merely a small reaction from the new fluids we gave you, you're not allergic to it. But putting in a large amount of drugs into your body has its toll," Alex explained. "You're actually doing pretty well, in the amount of sleep you got, your levels are currently building and this was a minor setback. You're very lucky you have a friend as caring as Beca,"
Chloe smiles and said hoarsely, "Yeah, I am." Alex and Jane bid their farewell and soon it was just the both of them again.
"Becs," Chloe said quietly.
"Yea?" Beca looked at her.
"Can you get me some water, my throat feels like I've swallowed fire," Chloe said weakly. Beca got her a glass of water and Chloe drank half of it before setting it on Beca's hand again.
"No Chlo, finish it. You need to drink. You haven't been drinking enough." Beca advised handing the water back to Chloe.
"Fine." Chloe took back the water and finished it this time. Beca set the glass aside and began setting her bed on the couch. Beca glanced around the room, Chloe has her hand on her face again and the IV bags are continuously dripping liquid. Beca looked to Chloe and bit her lip. Chloe's hair was now messily sprawled all over the pillow, she looks really pale, her lips are almost a shade of purple and is slightly open to breathe through it, her body lay almost lifeless on the bed and she's shivering lightly. Beca sighed and thought back to hours ago when she first got here. All those people she passed by, she can't help but think Chloe's like one of them now to. And the thought of Chloe, not having her cheerful and optimistic side anymore scares Beca. 'It will almost be like she's not here anymore' Beca thought. Chloe coughed twice lightly but Beca was at her side like the speed of light.
"Are you okay? Do you need Jane? Do you want water? I'll go get the bag again, how do you feel?" Beca started firing questions.
"I'm fine Beca, I'm fine now." Chloe said removing her hand from her face to see Beca. Chloe's eyes were bloodshot now and are watery. Beca started to sit beside her again so Chloe can lean on her side.
"Are you sure? Jane mentioned that this isn't normal for someone who's undergoing Chemo, something about allergic reactions?" Beca asked and Chloe sighed.
"I knew about my allergy Beca, in that moment I just forgot to say to them that I had it. It was all happening so fast and when Jane asked if I had any… I said none by accident," Chloe explained her voice quivering. Beca looked emphatically at the redhead.
"I'm just glad you're fine now Chlo, you scared me half to death. Three times," Beca smiled when Chloe snickered at her comment. Beca rested her head on top of Chloe's head and Chloe just made herself comfortable in Beca's arms.
"I called Aubrey," Beca stated. And Chloe tensed beside her only to have her sigh.
"What did she say? How come she's not here right now?" Chloe asked.
"She was showering when the hospital called her 5 times. She tried calling back but that number only makes calls not receive them," Beca said and Chloe hums.
"I'll call her again later, just get some sleep okay? You look tired," Beca ran her hand up and down Chloe's arms. And slowly stood up. Chloe looked sad for a moment and rubbed her eyes.
"Okay," Chloe said while yawning.
"Night Chlo," Beca smiled and turned off the light.
"Night Becs," Chloe returned. "Thank you for being here."
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now Chlo," Beca grinned.
And Chloe fell right asleep. Beca on the other hand was silently watching her, she wouldn't get any sleep tonight afraid that she'll sleep through one of Chloe's coughing fit. Instead she made herself comfortable on the couch and began texting Aubrey.
[Beca 1:13 AM] Hey Aubrey, u awake?
[Aubrey 1:13 AM] Yea, how is she? What did you mean by reaction?
[Beca 1:14 AM] Basically she started coughing and retching, her doctor said it was normal though.
[Aubrey 1:15 AM] How is she now?
[Beca 1:15 AM] She's sleeping. Can u come over tmr morning? She was asking for u.
[Aubrey 1:16 AM] Sure. I'll be there. Wat room?
[Beca 1:17 AM] 524, just ask for Jane in the reception.
[Aubrey 1:18 AM] Okay. Night Beca. SLEEP.
[Beca 1:17 AM] Haha, how did u know I wasn't going to?
[Aubrey 1:18 AM] Telepathy, now go to bed. C ya tmr.
[Beca 1:19 AM] Kk, bye Bree.
Beca's eyes began to grow tired and she lazily rubbed them. Beca's eyes looked over to Chloe now, and with the small light from the window she could make out Chloe's body. She stood up and looked at her. She could finally see a little bit of color on her cheeks now, and she's happy because of it. She breathed the cold night air and can't help but think that there is a strong smell of death. She doesn't want to think about that epitome yet, but in the back of her head she knows it's there.
And it isn't going away.
Chloe's lying softly on the hospital bed, IV's jabbing her delicate skin. And Beca thinks that the world is so cruel that it let someone as happy and joyful as Chloe, face this terrible fate. Beca can hardly breathe anymore that now she let the full realization that maybe Chloe's not going to make it through next year. Her eyes begin to water now and without realizing Beca's hands are slightly on Chloe's IV's, just barely touching them to make sure they're real. It might be weird to others that she's staring at a sleeping figure but not to them. Beca's being so fucking careful, like she's carrying a baby in her arms that even a sudden movement will make a big difference. Chloe's mouth is still slightly open and her eyes are shut but moving indicating that she's dreaming.
Beca looks at Chloe's arms and chokes back a sob because she somehow forgot that purple and blue bruises decorate her white skin. Beca took back her arm and put her palm on her eyes, refusing to cry. Because she has to be strong. She has too. She went back to her couch and pulled out an energy bar from her bag, she quickly realized that she didn't eat lunch or dinner. She doesn't have much of an appetite but she can't faint in front of Chloe tomorrow. So she silently eats and plays stuff from her iPhone quietly without earphones, worried that the music will cover any sounds Chloe makes.
She doesn't get any sleep that night, but passed out at the 6am point. And she woke up to the door being slammed open.
A/N: It's getting real guys! I almost cried writing this chapter. I hope you guys like it! Constructive criticism? Thoughts? Feelings? Share them all below or on my tumblr haveyouseenmypanda dot tumblr dot com
Thanks for reading! :)
jalex1: She does show up and thank you! :)
EmoPenguino182: Prepare for more feels buddy... This story is gonna take a turn at death stree- I mean. Nobody's dying... pshh...
vahuene: ThAnKs! :)
Kurochin: I'm (literally) killing Chloe too. ;)
surfingXgirl13: Thank youuu! :)
