Author's Note: Well this is long overdue, but in my defense: exams came, then the Christmas holidays, then school again (where the teachers went nuts), and then my birthday! So, a couple of notes.
1) My Reader/Reviewer Reccomendation is My Clone. Go read their stuff. It's good.
2) The song this chapter is named after is by the Beatles, since I couldn't come up with a better title at the time and this one stuck.
3) A whopping TEN people (yeah, I'm being slightly sarcastic here) went to my poll and voted when they wanted to know then I would reveal the next story for this Manly Journal series. Well, before I decided I'd definitely do a sequel for the first story, I toyed around with the idea of writing the first from Lily's POV. I actually wrote the first chapter in record time (probably only a day or two) and it's twice as long as James' POV. People actually requested that, too when I had votes up for sequel or no sequel. So, after this story is done, I'm going to rewrite the Completely Manly Journal from Lily's POV. I don't know the title yet, but we'll vote on that later.
-opungo
Monday, April 27
Muggle Studies
I was expecting it, but I'm still surprised that Lily isn't here for class. Well, obviously she isn't here but she wasn't at breakfast so I assume she's not in her class right now. I guess I'll check if she's in the tower during our free period.
Later
Transfiguration
She wasn't waiting in my dormitory or sitting around the common room, either. This is the one downside to forcing Lily out of my dormitory yesterday. I'm completely unaware of anything that's going on with her right now. It's frustrating and worrisome at the same time.
I said a while ago that I wouldn't mind grey hair as long as it was with Lily…I didn't mean this early!
Well since she's obviously not coming out of her dormitory soon there has to be something I can do with my time tonight. No Quidditch practice, no patrols, nothing. I don't feel like doing anything stupid with Sirius, Remus, or Peter, either. So what is there? What would Lily have me do?
Oh no. I shouldn't have asked myself that question because I know what Lily would make me do. No. I don't want to. I don't want to. I-don't-wan't-
Forget it! I'm going to the library to study tonight.
Why did I have to fall for such an intelligent, responsible, hard-working girl?
Wait, I can answer that: because she's an intelligent, responsible, hard-working girl. She's bloody gorgeous, too but she's brainwashed me into going to study for my NEWTs. As long as I have her as my girlfriend, I suppose it's worth it.
Later
Charms
Sirius will not shut up about me going to the library to study tonight. At all! He needs to; I'm just getting annoyed with it. Excuse me for trying to be responsible. Yes, isn't responsibility one of the things that got Lily to see I had changed this year and agree to be my girlfriend causing me to be happy? Ecstatic, even? Not to mention our snogging sessions, but that's not the point!
If I want to study, that's my business. I'm going to pass these NEWTs, damn it!
I've already decided I'll study for Charms tonight just to prove that I will be able to get through the exams without having Lily repeat the instructions a hundred times. She won't even be able to do that during NEWTs anyway since her last name and mine are on two separate halves of the alphabet. She'll be done with the spell portion of her exam long after I start testing for it. Since they won't let her whisper the answers in my ear (where is the justice in that?!) I have to learn to make do without her. Well, that just sounded depressing.
I-you know, what? I'm just going to quit writing in here for now until I've properly disposed of my former best mate.
Later
Defense Against the Dark Arts
The Silencing Charm is my new best mate. It does bloody wonderful things for you: like shutting up your former best mates. My other two mates are Expelliarmus and the Summoning Charm. They do great things like dislodging your former mate's wand from his hand and bringing it to rest in your rucksack.
I thought Sirius' reflexes would be better, considering he's a Beater and such. Getting his wand from him was easy…too easy in fact…
Maybe I should give his wand back…while I still have hair.
Later
Library
So the library has simultaneously become a place to hide from Sirius and a place intent on torturing me. All the books about the Charms I want to study that Lily has shown me before during our tutoring sessions aren't here and the ones I have been able to find are worthless and don't even encroach the subject.
One of these days, I'm going to build a library that stocks books that are actually useful to the reader. Lily would love that kind of library, I'm sure. I wonder how many times I'd have to hit my head on this table before I eventually break it.
Tuesday, April 28
Muggle Studies
Well, last night my rescue came to me. It wasn't in the form of the library spontaneously combusting and being engulfed by the flames, as I had hoped. Nor did Lily sense that I was in trouble and put on a brave face to come help me.
The books I had been wanting came back and someone delivered them personally to me. Though they really hadn't done that intentionally.
I hands knotted in my hair in frustration, head bent over one of the useless books, when someone slammed some books down across from me and pulled out the chair. I looked up to see who it was, but paused when I saw the books.
"Hey James," the person said. "Studying?"
"You stole the books I needed!" I accused quietly, pointing at them.
"I was just looking ahead. The stuff we study now is so boring."
I sighed. "I just don't understand why they haven't let you skip a year. You could be a seventh year if you really wanted to, Annie."
Annie grinned. "Well I'd make all of you seventh years look bad if I was in your year with you. So just imagine how bad I make all of my classmates look." She flipped her long hair behind her shoulder and pushed the books towards me, smiling.
"These are probably better than the dragon dung you're looking at now," she offered. I nodded.
"They are. These are some books Lily showed me before and I really wanted to look at them." I shoved my useless book aside and flipped open to the chapter I wanted in Fitzwilliam's Guide to Advanced Charms and the Theory Behind Them.
"It's nice to hang out with you in the library again," Annie said while my hand flew across my parchment. "I usually spend my own time studying, or talking with friends, or with Michael. My friends are busy and Michael is spending time with his own friends and I was coming down here to study some more, but then I spotted you."
I nodded. "How is that boyfriend of yours?" I asked, more out of politeness than anything.
Annie sighed, almost dreamily, and for a moment I regretted asking her. If she was going to gush, I was out of here. Instead, she gave a reasonable and non-girly answer. "Well, I look at you and Lily and how happy you two look and I realize that Michael and I are basically the Ravenclaw version of you two."
I stopped writing for a second and raised an eyebrow. "I realize you're completely in love with him, but that doesn't make comparing me to him a compliment or anything." Annie laughed while I flipped a page and resumed writing again.
"What about you? Aren't you completely in love with Lily? Don't lie and say you aren't because you have to be with how long you were chasing her before she finally lost her mind. I mean you even proposed once, didn't you?"
I pointed my quill at Annie. "First of all, she didn't lose her mind: she came to her senses. Secondly: how the hell did you hear about that? That was in my bloody fourth year! I was still stupid back then!"
Annie giggled and from some distant corner of the library, I heard Madam Pince shush her. "Well, that night on patrol when you heard Lily's rant about Michael, but thought it was about you, we talked for a little while more and she mentioned that incident. Wait a minute, what do you mean you were stupid 'back then'? You're still stupid." I reached across the table and ruffled her hair. Annie quickly removed my hand from her hair and smoothed it out again.
"You jerk. You messed up my hair," Annie complained, but she was still smiling. I cocked my head to the side in confusion.
"Messed it up? I made it look better." Annie rolled her eyes at me.
I started taking notes again and got a good deal farther before Annie spoke again. She had taken out her own homework and was doing that.
"So, seriously, how are you and Lily?" she asked.
"Couldn't be happier," I replied truthfully.
"Is she sick today?"
"More or less. I suspect she'll be better soon enough."
I could tell Annie caught the implication in my "more or less" statement but she didn't say anything about it. Instead she went back to something she'd said earlier.
"So either you forgot my question from earlier or you're completely avoiding it," she observed.
"Or the reason I didn't answer it falls under a third option: it was just too stupid." Annie reached across the table to ruffle my hair up but I just sat there. "You do realize that doesn't have the same effect on me as it does on you, right?"
She actually looked a little disappointed by this, but she shrugged it off. "I asked you whether or not you were completely and madly in love with your girl Lily."
I snorted. "Of course! How could I not be?"
Annie nodded. "Have you told her that?"
"No! That's relationship suicide! You girls all ramble on about the rights and wrongs of relationships but you don't know that basic rule?"
Annie looked incredulous. "You've never told her that you love her? That's relationship suicide. Look, Lily is the kind of girl who does want to be told that. So if you love her, why not just tell her?"
I sighed. "First of all, because it's stupid. Secondly, I don't tell other people that I love them. I tell them that I love Quidditch, food, and music in that order. Third of all, just imagine how weird that situation could be. She'd either punch me, laugh, or stare blankly at me."
"Or she'd say it back," Annie interrupted.
"And as a final point, when exactly do you say it? You could either mess everything up or make everything perfect. That is why it's relationship suicide."
Annie thought about this for a while before speaking again. "Well, you have two options. Tell her on a romantic date or just slip it into every day conversation so she doesn't have time to stare. Just a quick 'Well, I'm off, darling. I'll see you later, I love you, cheers!'"
I shook my head at her. "I don't know why I bother to talk to you," I remarked.
"Because I brighten up everybody's day," she replied cheekily. "This is sure to damper your spirits, though. Look who's coming over to tell us the library is closing for the evening." She nodded at Madam Pince who was stalking over to us to kick us out of the library. We both rolled our eyes and started packing up our things while Madam Pince was breathing down our necks, annoyed by our presence. She followed us all the way to the library doors where she slammed them shut behind us.
"Horrible old bird," Annie grumbled, shaking her head. "I'll see you later, James. Remember what I said."
"Don't worry, I won't." Annie snorted and we both walked off to our respective towers.
"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius called when I walked into the dormitory. "I didn't know girls came by owl post."
I was about to retort and tell him that if anybody was a girl around here, it was him for spending so much time on his hair, but then I looked at my bed. Lily was sitting cross-legged there in the makeshift pajamas I had given her the other night, her long hair damp. She grinned at me.
"James!" she exclaimed. She ran across the room and threw her arms around my neck.
"Hey," I replied, a little surprised. I dropped my rucksack and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Is there any reason in particular you're wearing some of my old clothes?"
Lily looked up at me and rolled her eyes. "Your wonderful mates here were playing with some Zonko's product and I didn't knock before I came in so I got splattered in some type of goo. I'm waiting for my clothes to come out of that cleaning solution over there that Remus made up for me. I've been playing cards with Sirius since then."
"Oh, yeah?" I said, glaring at Sirius. He had been attempting to look at her cards. Over by Remus' bed, there was a large bucket with purple smoke curling over the top. "How long have you been here, anyway?"
"Only about an hour or two. Come on, you can help me win against Sirius. I haven't been doing too well." She wasn't exaggerating either. She's terrible at cards. I took over her hand for her while she rested her head in my lap and I beat Sirius easily several rounds in a row.
"I want another rematch. Your girl Lily there is terrible at cards and I was still in my 'playing-against-a-rubbish-card-player-mode'. She made me forget that you're better than she is." Sirius was always a sore loser.
"No," I replied, bored. Sirius sighed.
"It's probably for the best, anyway," he remarked, gathering up the cards and sliding off of my four-poster. "She fell asleep." Sirius nodded at Lily who was, indeed, asleep in my lap. Gently I slid her head off of it and slid off the bed myself.
"Should we leave you two alone?" Peter asked from his bed, wiggling his eyebrows. I lobbed a shoe at him.
"Shut up, Wormtail," I grumbled, taking my school shirt off and exchanging it for a t-shirt. I reached over for my pajama pants which I had left by the bathroom door…
"You got that goop on my pants, didn't you?" I questioned. Remus pointed to the bucket by his bed. I groaned and slipped off my trousers. I'd be sleeping in my boxer shorts tonight.
"So was she sick today?" Sirius asked with a yawn as he changed out of his clothes. I shrugged, feigning indifference. It really just wasn't my place to say.
"I suppose," I yawned. Then I drew the curtains closed on my four-poster and edged Lily under the covers with me. I felt like I had just closed my eyes before I was gently being prodded awake. I grunted and rolled away from the annoyance, burying my face in a pillow. Then, out of the quiet of the dormitory, I heard a distinctly feminine giggle. That's when the previous night hit me like a ton of bricks and I remembered just who was in my bed with me. My eyes wrenched open and I turned back over to see the slightly blurry form of Lily, sitting up in my bed, grinning at me.
"Morning!" she greeted cheerily. Too cheerily. It was morning for Merlin's sake. I groaned and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me.
"Morning," I grunted. "Go to sleep again."
"What about class?" Lily asked softly. She started running a hand through my hair. My already muddled mind became even more hazy.
"Bollocks to class," I countered, closing my eyes again.
I heard Lily sigh. "Fine. If you want, you and I can sleep through a class or two, would that make you happy?"
She rested her head on my chest, just under my chin and tangled her feet with mine. One hand rested on my chest beside her head and the other one gripped my shoulder. How the hell could a bloke not be happy with that sort of offer?
"Fine. Where's everybody else?"
"Breakfast," Lily murmured.
I grunted again. Then a thought occurred to me. I cracked an eye open and looked down at the girl who looked content in my arms. Too content.
"Lily," I said slowly, clearer than before.
"Yeah?" she asked drowsily.
"Why did you come here last night?" I was impatient for an answer so I waited for hardly a second before I jumped into accusations. "I told you that you can't use me as an excuse to hide out from the world. As much as I enjoy having a girl in my bed, the circumstances make it a little hard for me to be too happy about it-"
"Oh, hush you annoying prat. I'm not hiding out here. I'm perfectly fine compared to the absolute wreck I was before." Lily was fully awake now and more than slightly annoyed. It took her only moments to notice the alarm in my expression at her sudden mood swing because she sighed and relaxed again. "I'm fine. I promise. It was actually a good idea to sit in my dormitory and think for a while about all of it. Now that I have had time, I'm not too upset anymore. I mean, she's not gone yet. I'll still have time to say…bye." She kept getting quieter towards the end of her sentence to the point where I couldn't even hear her anymore. Before I could if she was okay, she kissed me quickly on the lips before letting her head drop back on the pillow.
"I'll be fine," she promised me, closing her eyes. "Go back to sleep."
I didn't have to wait too long for her to fall back asleep again. She mumbles a little bit in her sleep. I found this out last night and the other night when she also slept here. I pulled her close to me.
"Fire…in…floo…" she mumbled. Isn't she so observant?
My eyelids were growing heavy. Maybe I did need more sleep, but I also needed to head to class, no matter how much I wanted to sleep in that day. Then, as luck would have it, Annie's words started circling around my head: So if you love her, why not just tell her?
For some reason, I decided to take Annie's advice. I am seriously lacking in this "Gryffindor courage" I'm supposed to posses because I only said it because Lily was asleep and wouldn't hear me, anyway. At least I could say that I said it to her. Does the fact that she was unconscious really matter?
I kissed her forehead lightly. "I love you, Lily," I murmured quietly.
"Zzzzhhjay shyat, hm?" was the only response I really got from her. She said the same thing the first night she stayed here. I asked her about it the next morning and she said she was dreaming her Aunt May had come to visit. Which is just a little impractical, considering she's been in a mental institution since six out of nine of her beloved cats died and she was so overcome with grief, she was convinced she herself was a witch who had accidentally brought death upon her pets. Obviously not, but the neighbors and some family members had her taken away.
I quickly showered and changed and folded up Lily's now-clean clothes from the previous night and placed them on the bed, along with a note saying I'd be back later with some food. Then I headed off for a very quick breakfast. I had to sneak in here, but I was in luck. Sirius spotted me and he quickly threw a few dozen acid pops on the Professors desk, burning a surprising amount of holes in it. Meanwhile, I slipped into my desk and insisted, when Burbage turned back around and noticed me there, that I've been here the whole time. Through the power of absolute lying, she believed me.
Later
Transfiguration
Enjoy your jolly romp between the sheets?
You mean did I enjoy that lovely bird known as sleep? Yes, I enjoyed it very much. Very relaxing. Now, shut up before I hex you.
Sirius, I'd listen to him. I think he means it. Don't push it.
No he doesn't.
I speak from experience: he gave me a similar warning back in second year. When I told another joke that started with "So a goblin and a house elf walked into a pub", I was pushed down two flights of stairs and spent a night in the hospital wing.
My, my. You do have a bit of a temper, don't you?
I stand by what I said earlier: don't push it. Subject change: we need to start working out study schedules for the NEWTs.
What? NEWT study schedules?! James! What have you done?!
Me? How did I get dragged into this? In fact, how did you manage to drag me into the center of two conversations under a fifteen minute span?
To answer your questions: yes, you. You got dragged into the center of this conversation because you decided to go off and study yesterday so that's probably where Remus got the idea. It's a gift.
You're first, Sirius. I'll make yours out right away.
But I already know all the rubbish they want us to spit back!
I need more time to study than him. Can't I have mine made out first?
Alright then, Sirius. If you know it, then tell me: what are the main properties of the Amphibious Cough Elixir?
…Frogs?
That was back from third year! If Moony knows it and you don't you're in trouble.
I even knew it.
Scratch my last statement: you're going to fail with a big fat T.
Fine. Bring on the bloody study schedule. I will disregard it completely until the week before.
Then what's the point? I am trying to help you graduate, you know.
I don't think he really knew until now. But now that he does know, I can guarantee he will say he doesn't care at all and then make some smart remark.
Yeah, James is right. I don't really care. Plus, I have that large inheritance. I can live quite comfortably for the rest of my life if I so choose. What do I care about this "graduating" business?
I think I just saw a vision of the future. In it, we we're all waving our diplomas in Sirius' face and laughing at him. Then we go off to our warm homes while he curls up in his lovely box.
That sounds about right.
Hey! Just for that, I'm writing ALL of you out of my will!
That's not much of a threat. All we'd be missing out on is your Chocolate Frog cards and socks.
Lucky socks! And RARE cards…yeah, they're not really that special.
You can see the ego deflate before your very eyes!
Quiet, you.
Later
Charms
Right when I was getting ready to go back up to the dormitory with some food, Lily finally made her appearance at the table. Took me by complete surprise, too. I was just staring at her for a long time in shock. The first thing I registered her saying was: "James, unless you snap out of it soon, I'm going to eat your food."
I grinned. "I'm sorry, but this is my food. However," I placed a plate in front of her that I had been loading with food, "you can eat your food instead." Lily looked from the plate to me and back to the plate again. Then she sighed.
"James, have you forgotten just how much I actually eat from day to day?" she questioned. Only then had I realized that I had accidentally dropped Sirius-sized portions on her plate. I don't think he even swallows his food at all.
"Oh, sorry," I apologized. Then I held the plate out to Sirius.
"Food!" he exclaimed and then proceeded to inhale that. I pushed my plate towards her.
"We can share, if you want," I offered. She grinned and scooped a small piece of meat into her mouth, chewing quickly. "It's good to have you back, Lily," I decided. Then I kissed her quickly.
Later
Potions
Potions is finally enjoyable again. Yes, not only is Lily here, but she isn't mad at me. That means my hands are free to roam again. Well, at least until she slaps it away; she's being terribly restrictive as far as where my hands are allowed to go. Right now, my arm is only allowed around her waist. But I can deal with that, I suppose.
Later
Boy's Dormitory
As Lily and I were walking out of Potions, she surprised me with a simple question.
"So, what are we doing for our date Saturday?" she asked innocently, smiling up at me.
I smiled back, but inside my head, I was in a panic. The whole time I was thinking: Shit! I forgot about that entirely! Now I have to come up with something quick! Crap!
Keeping calm, I grinned and said: "Now that would just spoil the surprise," I teased.
Oh, Sirius will get a kick out of this one. The surprise is that there is no surprise. There better be one soon, though. Sirius would think the situation funny, Lily…not so much.
