A/N: I just finished reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (I spent much of the day reading it - I borrowed it from the library this morning).That book makes me depressed for some reason. It's just so awful and weird. To cheer myself up I'll reformat/post a few scenes...
Scene 3 (Backstage Boys meet at the pub):
WE'RE IN A BUSY, CROWDED PUB ONE EVENING. LOTS OF WEIRD SHOWBIZ-TYPES ARE THERE DRINKING TO THEIR LATEST TRIUMPH OR EATING A NICE, GREASY BASKET OF FISH & CHIPS FOR NO SPECIFIC REASON.
BRIAN THOMSON AND RICHARD HARTLEY ARE SITTING AT A TABLE.
Narrator: and so, it seemed that fortune had smiled upon Richard. His friend had agreed to help him and - even better - soon introduced him to some potential Co-conspirators…
RICHARD AND JIM ENTER THE PUB, THEN WALK RIGHT TO WHERE THE OTHER TWO GUYS ARE SITTING.
Jim: Here's that self-proclaimed playwright I mentioned.
Brian: Richard O'Brien?
Richard: that's me.
Brian: good to meet you. My name's Brian Thomson, and this is Richard 'Ritz' Hartley.
Jim: (quietly) I'd forgotten about that.
Richard: what?
Jim: the fact that the composer-writer and the music arranger are both called 'Richard'. This might prove problematic.
Hartley: can't you just call me 'Ritz', then?
Richard: people already call me 'Ritz'.
Jim: right. I'm the director. That means you lot do as I say. So, when production starts, we'll start calling Richard Hartley by his surname and Richard O'Brien by his first name.
AWKWARD PAUSE
Hartley: it's my turn to pay for drinks. If only you two hadn't shown up, I would've been paying for just Brian and myself!
HE LEAVES THEM, WANDERING OVER TO THE BAR WHERE HE PROCEEDS TO HAVE A LENGTHY CONVERSATION WITH THE BARMAN AND EVENTUALLY ACQUIRE FOUR PINTS OF WHATEVER THEY ALL DRINK. MEANWHILE THE REST OF THE GUYS KEEP TALKING.
Richard: How strange he is.
Jim: looks who's talking… my dear New Zealander.
Richard: no sheep-fucking jokes, please! We need to get on with things.
Jim: I never-
Brian: so Richard wrote a script and songs? Can I see any of it?
Richard: I've got a tape.
HE TAKES THE CASSETTE PLAYER OUT OF HIS JACKET (?) POCKET. BEFORE JIM CAN STOP HIM, RICHARD PLAYS THE SONG. IT'S A VERY GOOD SONG, TO EVERYONE'S SURPRISE, AND IS MOST LIKELY THE 'TIME WARP'.
Jim: what song is that?
Richard: the one that parodies the concept of a dance craze.
Brian: I think the lyrics would make Americans uncomfortable. I hear they're all puritans.
BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN SAY ANY MORE ABOUT AMERICANS AND/OR PURITANS, HARTLEY RETURNS WITH DRINKS.
Brian: dear music arranger, you missed the music!
Hartley: is that bad?
Richard: no, it was very good.
Hartley: I think you mean 'yes, it was very good'.
Richard: did I?
Jim: play the tape again, Richard.
THE TAPE IS PLAYED AGAIN, EVERYONE LIKES IT.
Hartley: if all the songs are like that we might just have a hit on our hands.
Brian: What's this play about?
Richard: Jim didn't explain?
Jim: No. I didn't think they'd believe me.
Richard: Why wouldn't they?
Jim: Because… it's highly unusual.
Hartley: The song was peculiar enough. How much stranger could it be?
Jim: That's not a good question.
Richard: Should I explain the basic premise?
Brian: Please.
Richard: It's about an American couple that gets a flat tire at the castle of a mad transvestite from outer space. The transvestite forces them to watch the birth of his Boris Karloff-inspired muscleman. Then the Americans both have sex with the transvestite.
Brian: At the same time?
Richard: Don't be silly.
Brian: How much do I get for building the castle?
Jim: We have an extremely limited budget and therefore rather limited salaries. I don't think you'll get to build any castles. You'll need to think of something creative.
Richard: Will you do the job?
Brian: I've known Jim much longer than you have. The two of us worked together back in Australia. Not only do I trust his opinion, but we're old friends. So… yes, I'll do the job.
Hartley: I'm in, too. There really are too many rock n' roll musicals being written, Richard O'Brien, though this one is unique. Even if it means not being paid much it's better than the weird reggae stuff I used to do.
Richard: Wonderful!
HAPPILY, THE OTHERS NOD IN AGREEMENT.
Please Review! Does anyone have any favorite lines?
