A/N: Super fast update, I know, I rock your world. THANK YOU! To those of you lovely beings who either favorited or reviewed (I'm not trying to be selfish, here, but if you don't do either of those things I just assume you clicked on the story, hated it, and left).

A couple things. Great Moxie (I feel like I should be bowing down as I say that), this is the chapter where I attempt to explain what I had thought I attempted to explain in the last chapter. Oh I don't know.

AND! I'm going away for six weeks. If all goes according to plan, I'll have a chapter or two in store to put up while I'm away with my limited computer access, but something tells me you guys won't be all that heartbroken if I don't get to it.

BY THE WAY, STILL BETA HUNTING. So speak up if you're interested or have any good suggestions as to whom I should ask.

Shutting up now.

--

I woke up a couple hours later, still groggy from the sleep. What time was it? I rolled over and saw that the clock said 6:14 pm. Mmm, dinner time. I wondered whether the blokes were down eating yet or if – and then it all came back to me: the fight with Sirius, the full moon, everything. I jumped up and sprinted down the stairs, hoping to catch someone still in the common room. Spotting James about to leave, I followed him out the portrait hole and grabbed his sleeve.

"Prongs!"

He turned around. "Yeah? I have to go, Layla, I should already be ther-"

"I'm coming with you," I said before I realized what I was actually saying. I was overcome by this need to be there. I had to find Sirius and, well, yell at him. Attack him with my anger. I wouldn't be left alone again, this was getting out of hand. It's not like Remus is any more dangerous to me than anyone else – I mean come on Peter's a rat and he doesn't get hurt any more than anyone else. When they first started going, they insisted that I stay because I'd inevitably get severely hurt. What the hell is that supposed to mean, though? They always get hurt. No one's ever said it out loud, but this is really the only "you're a girl so you can't" situation in our friendship. And why shouldn't I be able to go? They're not sexist when it comes to me doing their homework for them. No one ever says "you're a girl, so you can't lie to the professor for me." It's only this. And I'm sick of it.

"Oh, god, Layla, not again. You know what happened last ti-"

"NO! I DO know what happened last time and it was no worse than what happened to you! You came back with a broken leg and I just came back with a broken hand."

"Your hand was crushed. And no, you're not coming. Look, I don't have time for this." He wasn't angry, but he was impatient. It occurred to me that maybe he wasn't yelling at me because he had heard about the little run in at Puttifoot's. He pulled his arm from my grasp and started off down the stairs. I balled my hands into fists and threw a silent tantrum there in the corridor. You know what? I wasn't going to let James stop me. I mean, since when did I actually listen to anything he said?

I ran after him, staying just out of sight. When I got to the Whomping Willow it was already frozen and I quietly slipped into cat form and ran through the tunnels to the shack.

As I got closer, I could hear the noises coming from the small structure getting increasingly louder. I ran faster, continuing up the stairs into a small room on the second floor. I quietly surveyed the situation. Sirius was pacing in the corridor, James was inside trying to calm Remus (who was tearing apart every surface in the room) and Peter was scurrying about in an attempt to avoid being stepped on.

When he saw me, Sirius started barking angrily, running towards me, trying to get me to go back down the stairs. I fought back, swatting him angrily across the nose with claws outstretched, and he yelped when I drew blood.

On any normal occasion I would never purposefully hurt one of them, especially when they were bound to get hurt one way or another at some point during the night. However, on this specific night, Sirius wasn't exactly in the "Be Nice To" books.

I ran past into the room where Remus was destroying everything, the noise of destruction evident amidst the shrieking howls he let out. When Prongs saw me, he came rushing towards me, but I slipped under his legs and ran under the bed. I stayed there, out of sight, my tail swishing angrily, as Remus continued to tear apart the room. I may have insisted on coming, but that didn't mean I enjoyed being out in harm's way. I value my pride, but I also value my life. Peter showed up under the bed but left shortly after – he's always afraid I'm going to give into my instincts and try to eat him. Sometimes I'm tempted.

All of the sudden, all five of us were in the tiny room and everyone but me was running hectically around, trying to avoid being hurt and trying to protect each other at the same time. I felt the bed shake above me, and saw a combination of hooves and paws running about around the room. Remus' legs disappeared and the bed sank with his weight, shaking as he tore apart the mattress and generally everything else. Prongs seemed to be trying to get him off the bed, but I couldn't figure out why. I mean the bed was pretty unstable, but –

oh god, the bed was going to break.

The bed. Was going. To break.

And I, in case you have forgotten, was under it.

How could I not have thought of that before? I immediately got up and dashed for any direction that would get me out from under there. Everything was happening so fast, but it was as if my senses were even more exemplified than normal, and I could take everything in at once. Peter was huddled in a corner, a look of terror on his rat face. Sirius was barking madly at James, who was ramming himself against the bed in an attempt to get Remus off of it. Almost out… so close… just another second…

And everything went black.

--

I heard voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I tried to open my eyes, to say something, to move, but I couldn't. I wanted to scream.

--

Someone was whispering something about vitals and potions, and another voice – one I recognized – said something about St Mungo's. What about the hospital? Who was going to have to go to the hospital? Why couldn't I wake up?

--

I was screaming inside my mind, frustrated only by the fact that I couldn't voice my frustration. My mind was racing, and I was thinking relatively clearly, but I couldn't do any more than that. Mmmmm sleep sounded good.

--

Ooh! One eye! Almost… okay, blur. Voices, good sign. HEY! DID I JUST MAKE A NOISE? Oh, ok, someone was grabbing my hand. Alright, one more try with the eyes.

I managed to lift my eyelids and blink a couple times as my vision slowly cleared up.

Peter in a chair next to the bed, clutching my hand.

"YOU'RE AWAKE!" he screamed, "oh god ok good I have to go get them they're going to kill me if I take any longer than absolutely necessary and oh god ok stay awake I'll be right back with the rest of them and ok ok ok wait here."

I sat in silence, moaning every once in a while as a way to reassure myself that I was, in fact, alive. Soon enough, Madame Pomfrey came bustling over with a potion.

"Alright, dear, now, I'm very glad to see that you're awake we were just about to send you to St Mungo's, but that doesn't mean it's all going to be fun and games from here on out. No, no it certainly won't be. Here, take this, it'll help with the pain while you're awake. I'd say you have about twenty minutes before you pass out again, so your little friend better get back here soon. Here, down it goes –" she shoved a spoonful of some slimy green stuff into my mouth (ew, that tasted gross) –"right now that's a good girl, alright I'll be back to check on you soon."

She left just as quickly as she came, and I was stuck sitting in bed, waiting.

Dum dee dum dum. What could possibly be taking them so long?

Just then, I heard the door to the Hospital Wing open and a stamped of footsteps accompanied by anxious voices.

"LAYLA!"

"Oh my god you really are ok!" James came and sat on the bed with me, encompassing me in a hug. Ow.

"We thought you were a goner!"

"YOU, young lady, have been only somewhat alive for the past 48 hours."

"YOU'RE OKAY!"

This went on for a while and I just tried to smile, not really able to tell who was screaming what. After a bit, they settled down: James sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed, Peter in the chair next to the bed with his feet up, Remus leaning against the wall with his arms crossed (expression utterly impossible to read, much to my dismay), and Sirius with his hands in his pockets standing at the foot of the bed. They were all covered by various bandages with bruises scattered over their hands and faces, as well as, I would imagine, in places covered by their robes. I attempted a smile.

"Well this is fun," I smirked.

"And there's the sarcasm! I guess it's really our Layla, back and better than before," James yelled, still a bit excited.

"Oou noph, me freally dderemph flurryemd," Peter added, his mouth full of chocolate. I gave him a funny look and he swallowed before answering "sorry, I didn't think you'd miss one measly chocolate frog. But I said 'you know, we really were worried.'" He nodded in the direction of the foot of the bed and I saw the piles of chocolate and flowers and a balloon. Wow, ok, hadn't noticed that until now.

I tried to sit up, but winced in pain upon realizing that Madame Pomfrey was right when she said it wasn't going to be all easy from here on out.

Sirius came over to me and leaned down close to my ear. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean it. Or, I did, but I shouldn't have. I had no right to say it, and you didn't deserve it. Besides, it wasn't even true." Upon straightening up, he added "good to have you back, Lay" for the rest of them to hear. Wait, what did he mean by that – it wasn't true? I tried to catch his eye but he just looked at me like he hadn't said anything meaningful.

"So what have I missed?" I asked, just trying to get them to talk to me. I didn't want them to leave. When no one responded I prodded further. "Oh come on! I haven't talked to you in what, two days, and all you can do is stare at me? I mean I know my beauty is shocking, yes, but can't you muster up the courage to spit out a few words to your best mate?"

Sirius smirked, glancing at James. "Uh, well, there was one particular event involving Prongs and Evans, I suppose…"

I rolled my eyes. "James, are you ever going to give up?"

His eyes widened and a grin formed on his face. "No! That's the thing! She said yes! Okay maybe 'yes' is the wrong word for it… but she said that if I let her out of the closet –no pun intended- she'd go to Hogsmeade with me!"

I smiled as much as possible in my state, letting out a small laugh. "Well, Prongs, what ever will you wear?"

Peter laughed at this, digging through the chocolate at the foot of my bed for another chocolate frog.

Remus stayed against the wall, looking at the floor. James looked at him and then back at the rest of us. "Right, well, looks like we should be going. Don't want to keep you up past your… uh, capacity? No, wrong word, um… hmmm. Ability—"

"And we'll be going now, before James hurts himself by thinking to hard" Peter interrupted, jumping up and stretching his arms above his head.

James, Peter, and Sirius walked away, at which point Remus finally looked up. His eyes flashed in anger, but settled on sadness. He walked slowly over to the side of the bed and pulled the chair up so that it was closer, sitting in it and leaning back.

"Layla," he began, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say more. I waited. "There are some things that you should know."

This didn't sound good, really. My mood went from in-pain-but-bright-and-cheery to oh-god-I-hate-this in about 2.5 seconds. It reminded me of the muggle song "from zero to sixty in three point five." Where had I heard that song? Oh, yeah, at my cousin's. It was actually kind of catchy, as annoying as muggle music can be… Oh, right, Remus. It's not like I could really have run away from whatever he had to say … so I just nodded and stayed put.

"First of all, I am not happy with you. I am, in fact, extremely mad. There is a reason we don't let you come on the full moons. You could have been killed! And I would have been the one who killed you! Layla please. If you're going to be stubborn and insist on coming anyway… well, don't. Please, Layla. For me," he paused, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Second of all, Sirius told me what he said to you."

I tried to interrupt him, but he just put a finger to my lips and kept going. It took all of my strength to concentrate on his words instead of the fact that he was touching me. "You need to know that he wasn't … relaying any information that I had given him. He didn't know what he was talking about."

I studied his face, a mix of determination, anxiety, and confusion haunting his features.

"I…. I care about you, Layla. I always have. Okay, maybe not always. I mean the first time I saw you, you were grinning like a maniac because you had just put toads in my shoes. But at some point when I was between the ages of 13 and 16, it became painfully aware to me that I will always care about you. As more than a friend."

I tried to interrupt him again, but he shook his head. "No, let me get this out. Along with this realization came the awareness that I will never let myself do anything about my feelings. I can't act on them, because … well, because I don't want to hurt you. I can't hurt you. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. Well, if I hurt you any more than I already have. This weekend just made that point even more clear to me. I can't make you live this life with me – this cursed, shunned life. I don't want to push that on you, and I think that because I … love you … I won't let anything come of … us."

Woah, woah woah. Did that make sense to anyone else? Because it sure as hell didn't make any sense to me.

"Remus," I said as forcefully as I could manage, and he finally looked up to meet my gaze, "I don't care what you are. I don't care that you could kill me in a second under the right – or, well, wrong – circumstances. You can't tell me that you love me and just leave me. It doesn't work that way. If you –"

"No, Layla, it does. It has to work that way. I heard what Sirius said, and I thought you had a right to know that I, er, love you, but that's all there is to it. You need to go on living your life as if I don't exist as anything more than another bloke in the corridor."

"That's impossible and you know it," I said in a rush, bordering on hyperventilation. "That's completely unfair. You can't do this to me. No, not now. I can't – I won't let you. This isn't … you aren't…" I was on the verge of tears, trying with all of my strength to turn towards him and grab his robes to keep him from leaving.

"Layla," he spoke softly, "don't make this harder than it has to be."

I continued to ramble incomplete thoughts at him incoherently, trying to grab onto him and not let go, but he just quietly stood up, taking my hands gently but firmly from his robes and holding them in his own as he bent down over me and kissed my forehead, my cheek, and, fleetingly, hesitantly, my lips.

"This changes nothing," he whispered softly, "I am still your best mate. And don't you dare forget that." He stood up, avoiding my gaze, and walked carefully around the bed and out of sight.

I lay silently staring at the ceiling, trying to hold back the sob rising in my throat. I balled my hands into fists and tried to rip the sheets into a thousand tiny pieces. At some point during my tense attempts to render myself numb, I fell back into a deep, peaceful (or peaceless, really) sleep.

A/N: okay, yay, uh, fun times, review! seriously, if you just say "it's decent" I'll love you and I hope you'll stick around for the next chapter. Thanks for getting this far, though. Really. I appreciate it. Consider yourself appreciated.