Sirius exhaled sharply, blowing his hair away from his face. He stared in awe up at the stone pillars of the Parthenon, tentatively reaching out to touch the sun-warmed stone. Laying his palm on the pillar, his skin tingled at the thought of the history steeped in the ruins. He slowly walked around the temple, admiring the detail in the architecture then found a quiet spot in the mild mid-afternoon sun and sat, looking out over the city.

Remus would have loved this.

Sirius had walked all the way. Made his way through markets and streets lined with cafés and restaurants, and a pretty park at the base of the Acropolis before stumping up the great bloody mountainso he could be right here. He'd taken the long road rather than the short cut but, without Remus, the destination wasn't worth the journey.

He wondered if this was what his life was going to be like now he'd run Remus off for good. He was sitting beside one of the most famous structures in the world, and everything was a little less bright, a little less beautiful, a little less wondrous because one twenty-year-old werewolf wasn't by his side.

0o0

There was a tawny owl on the top of the fridge when he finally got back to the flat. Sirius blinked at it, startled, and the owl stared insolently back before it turned to Remus, who was sitting at the kitchen counter, hastily scribbling on a piece of parchment.

'Dumbledore is worried,' Remus said, without looking up. 'There was an ambush during a mission yesterday.'

'Who was it?' Sirius hissed urgently, gut clenching as he recognised the dark edge of grief in Remus' voice. 'James? Peter? Lily?'

'They're all fine,' Remus told him, glancing up at him for a moment before averting his gaze once more. 'It was Marlene.'

Sirius' blood ran cold, and he sank down onto the other stool. 'Fuck,' he whispered. Marlene. Marlene was vibrant and clever and told jokes that made even Sirius blush and, now, she was dead.

'How...?'

Remus' quill paused then he scrawled his signature and rolled the parchment up. 'It was the spy,' he said blandly, calling the owl over with a soft whistle. He concentrated on tying the scroll to the owl's leg as he continued. 'The Order meeting organising the mission was held just hours before they left and there was a group of Death Eaters waiting for them when they arrived. They'd been set up.'

Sirius watched as Remus tied the leather strap then stood, walking across the kitchen to open the window over the sink. The owl hooted discontentedly, obviously annoyed at not receiving a treat, then whacked Remus across the face with a wing in admonishment as he took flight.

Sirius clenched his jaw, his stomach in knots. Remus' unspoken message had been received loud and clear. Remus was in Athens with Sirius, not sitting in on emergency Order meetings and setting up his friends for Lord Voldemort.

Remus - whom he'd decried both in private and in public, whom he'd driven away with his accusations and insinuations - wasn't the spy.

'Remus...' he croaked out.

'I don't want to hear it,' Remus snapped as he turned back to Sirius, face tense and pale. 'We just need to finish what we need to do then get back to do what we can to help them.'

'I need to...'

'I don't give a fuck what you need to do!' Remus yelled, eyes glittering with a glut of emotions. 'I needed you to believe me. I needed you to support me and stand up for me and tell everyone who was looking at me like I was a monster that I would never do anything to hurt you all. I needed you to do that, Sirius, and you didn't! You agreedwith them. You told me you loved me and condemned me in the same breath.'

'I...'

'So what I need you to do right now, is to keep the hell away from me. Don't look at me, don't smile at me, don't bloody touch me because I am fucking weakwhen it comes to you, because I would - even after everything - let you look at me and smile at me and touch me. And I don't want to let you get back under my skin because I don't want to have to get over you again.'

'It could be different,' Sirius insisted, grabbing Remus' flailing hand. 'Icould be different.'

'You didn't believe in me,' Remus hissed, tearing his hand from Sirius' grasp. 'I alwaysbelieved in you, Sirius, but you couldn't believe in me.'

'I love you. I love you, Remus. So much. I'm sorry. You know what I'm like, You know how hard it is for me to trust anyone.'

'I was your friend. I was your lover. We lived together.'

'I never saw you! In the last year, I've barely seen you and when I asked what you've been doing, you were evasive. You were evasive and you hid things from me - injuries, notes, photographs. Things I had to find out about from other people. Why couldn't you tell me about what you were doing?'

'Dumbledore...'

'I spoke to Dumbledore!' Sirius shouted, watching Remus take a step back in surprise. 'He told me he never said you couldn't tell me, just to be circumspect with the information.'

Remus stared at him for a long moment then said very deliberately, 'I wasbeing circumspect.'

Sirius frowned, puzzled, then Remus' meaning sank in. 'So, you didn't trust me, either?' he whispered, hurt spearing through him at the revelation. 'You didn't trust me enough to tell me.'

'Everything I told you, you told James. Everything, Sirius. And James tells Lily and Peter, and...' He shook his head helplessly. 'So, no. I couldn't trust you to keep your mouth shut. I couldn't trust you to believe me over the others if I told you I suspected one of them was the spy. I couldn't trust you to choose meif it came down to it. And, as it turns out, I was right. Because you didn't choose me in the end, did you?'

Sirius flinched as the barb hit home. Remus sighed, rubbing the quill's feather between his thumb and forefinger. 'We meet with Lukas again tomorrow. Dumbledore needs us back as soon as possible but he needs that information more. He thinks it might hold the key to Voldemort's plans.'

Sirius just nodded. Remus studied him then tossed the quill onto the counter. 'So we keep our heads down today, meet Lukas tomorrow, then go home,' he summarised. 'Then we can get on with our lives.'

Sirius nodded again, completely deflated by their argument. 'If that's what you want,' he whispered hoarsely.

Remus looked stricken then turned to the sink, busying himself with washing a coffee cup while Sirius quietly walked down the hall to the bathroom and shut the door very quietly behind him.

0o0

Sirius sat at the side walk café, one hand wrapped around a coffee cup, the other beating an impatient tattoo against the tabletop. His eyes flicked up and down the street; it was busy for mid-morning on a week day. Across the street and halfway down the block, he could see the back of Remus' head. It was bobbing up and down in agreement with something the dark-haired man opposite him was saying.

Sirius clicked his tongue in annoyance at being kept out of the loop. Oh, he could see the tactical advantage in what Remus had suggested, but he hated just sitting here waiting while Remus was in the thick of it. It reminded him too starkly of all those days and nights sitting at home while Remus was off on those secret missions for Dumbledore that Peter was always saying sounded a bit odd because none of the rest of them had to keep their activities secret. He'd felt so utterly useless, just like now...

He stilled as realisation burst bright and sharp in his mind. Professor Vectra - their old Muggle Studies teacher - used to call this kind of revelation a 'light bulb moment'; that moment where everything that had seemed so senseless suddenly coalesced and made perfect sense.

During their final, explosive argument, he'd railed at Remus about his lack of honesty and the broken trust between them; he'd raged about Remus' infrequent visits home, about his preoccupation once he was there. He'd dumped all his anger and frustration on Remus' shoulders, but he realised now that it was really fear driving him. Fear at not being able to do more to protect one of the only precious things he had left. It had been his own feeling of impotence that had driven a wedge between them, that had made one of his greatest fears - losing Remus - become reality.

And he couldn't be more fucking ashamed of himself for putting all the blame on Remus and his absences and secrecy. He deserved better than how Sirius had treated him. He didn't blame the other man for not wanting him back, for wanting to move on with his life. He frowned at Lukas, who was grinning at Remus. Remus was an attractive man. He'd find someone else, someone who deserved him, who trusted him and that he could trust in return. Someone he could love as much as he deserved to be loved.

And it would break Sirius' heart.

Sirius blinked rapidly against the tears stinging his eyes and swallowed hard. He tapped a cigarette out of the battered carton and lit it with a shaking hand. He'd lost him. He'd really, truly lost him.

He glanced across the street again and saw Lukas and Remus stand. He sat up attentively, watching as they shook hands, Lukas expertly passing a small vial which Remus palmed just as professionally. They nodded to each other then Remus edged around the table and headed down the street towards Sirius, nonchalantly stuffing his hands in his pockets as he went.

Sirius threw what was probably far too many coins on the table then stubbed out his cigarette. He hung back, letting Remus get half a block ahead of him before he followed, which is how he saw the two cloaked figures detach themselves from a market stall and trail after Remus.

His skin prickled with foreboding, his hand moving on instinct to the wand holster on his belt. He couldn't risk a Patronus to warn Remus, not in a street full of Muggles, but if he led the Death Eaters right to their flat...

Sirius made a fast decision. He ducked into a doorway and prayed no one was watching as he Disapparated. He appeared a few metres in front of Remus, the other man halting and staring at him in surprise.

'Shield!' he shouted, wand already in his hand.

All the hours of defensive training they'd done with Mad Eye Moody paid off in one single moment. Remus reacted instinctively to the cry, his shield spell already in place when the first curses rained down on him. Sirius cast his own spell, the jet of red light missing the taller of their attackers and ricocheting off the rendered wall of a café There were screams as the Muggles around them realised the danger, then confusion reigned as the morning shoppers ran for their lives.

Sirius ducked a Body Bind spell and managed to seize hold of Remus' arm just as a Cutting Hex made contact. He yelled in pain as fire seared across his bicep, his blood splattering the paved street below. Remus screamed his name then furiously directed a volley of curses towards the Death Eaters, casting a powerful shield spell around himself and Sirius just as an Anti-Apparition spell came hurtling towards them. It bounced off the shield, smashing pottery on a nearby stall.

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus' arm and concentrated on their Thiseio flat. The protective shields fell and Sirius felt the familiar disorientating swirl of Apparition but not before a yellow stream of light struck Remus, who immediately went limp in Sirius' arms.

0o0