"Welcome back to Deadpool in Zombieland! Last time-"

{They can go back themselves, don't praddle on, Deadpool.}

"But I just wanted to feel like a TV show..."

"Who are you talking to?" Witchita asked, she had been listening to his rambling and argues.

Deadpool looked back at her through the car mirror and said "to the narrator! He's been writing this story, who else? And he's been calling you pretty."

{Deadpool! Don't tell her that!}

"Ooh... He's getting all red!"

{Stop it!}

"Narrator likes Witchita! Narrator likes Witchita!

Narrator and Witchita sitting in a tree,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

F-U-C-K-I-N-G!"

{Oh what the fuck...?}

Witchita just snarled at Deadpool with distaste. Zombie head legolas just growled at Deadpool, but the two felt the same.

Columbus had been thinking of Witchita a lot, though. Even though when the two had first met, she shot Deadpool and ran off with the key.

"Then you named the chapter Bitchita. Heh heh!" Deadpool remarked.

... But Columbus still liked Witchita from the moment he locked his eyes on her. So, for simple conversation purpose, he asked about Columbus.

"Its been burnt to the ground, how do you not know? The whole world ended like a week ago!"

Columbus was shocked. Home was gone and he just found out his family is... Probably gone too.

He stared down at the ground, where his feet were.

"Your... Your Columbus." Witchita said.

He nodded.

"I really hope this doesn't become a sad chapter."

{Time loop!}

Deadpool looked around, seeing as the sky was darker and little rock was upfront. Columbus and Witchita were in the back having a conversation.

"Wait... When did it turn into night?" Deadpool asked.

"Does this mean... You can alter time?"

{Yes. I can even go to others flash backs.}

"That's awesome!"

The three normal, non crazy people "hey!"

Looked at Deadpool with a look of surprise. Even undead legolas had his rot filtered eyes widened.

"You were silent for that whole drive," Columbus said "what was that about?"

Deadpool looked back at them, like a bad driver. "Really? If that's true then why are you in the back?!"

{You safely stopped and Columbus switched seats with little rock.}

"Since When?!"

{Since now. I can also alter events.}

"Your such an overpowered character."

{I'm not a character. I'm a writer.}

"... You had that one right in your pocket, didn't you?"

{You bet your ass I did.}

They drove down the road, Deadpool searching for whatever he could find. It wasn't like they had anywhere they really needed to go.

"Hey." Little rock looked at Deadpool "what's up with the costume?" She asked.

"Its not a costume, its my uniform." Deadpool said with proudness.

"Oh... So your a stripper?" She asked with curiosity.

Deadpool sneered. "No. I was apart of weapon x, but before that I was a mercenary with a nice and handsome face. Then I got cancer, so I went to some scientists and they did test and stuff.

But they screwed up with my skin and put me with a bunch of these guys that were failed projects. I guess they were saying the same about me.

But then I got out of there and became... Deadpool!"

Little rock just stared at him in confusion. "So... Your like an X-man or something?"

Deadpool shook his head "you know what? You should just go and watch my movie. It stars Ryan Reynolds!"

{I prefer the comics my self. But I might even check it out.}

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!... You haven't seen my movie?"

{No... I wish I could, but I just haven't had time to watch it. I haven't even gotten to play fallout 4!}

"Man, that does suck. I mean, fallout 4 is nice, but its worse that you haven't seen my movie!"

Little rock just shrug it off and looked out the road. There was a lit up place, quantum yourwammpum. I have no idea if I did that at all. Uhh... How about "native American shop?"

Go with that.

They drove into the parking lot and they each stepped out of the car, Deadpool grabbed zombie head Legolas and made sure everyone participated.

"Even if your crippled, doesn't mean your not as important!"

{Even though your holding a zombies head, I totally think that might be the best thing said during this first few chapters.}

"You can still give blowjobs, even if your a head!"

{And then it plumits...}

They stood in front of the steps, Columbus was frightful of the place. He wasn't sure what would come out. But Witchita and little rock weren't as bad, but they still knew they should be afraid.

But Deadpool ran up and rang the bell. dingleling, dingleling! screaming "leedle leedle, motherfucka's!"

Running from to the view of the others who stood in their tracks, was a gnarly looking zombie cowboy. He looked like he had been puking blood and disgusting matters, his shirt proves so.

His boots were hard felt on the floor, running like a maniac on crack and cocaine. He was screaming gibberish.

Columbus held his gun up and seemed kinda prepared to pull the trigger. But then the runner was sliced in half, his front fell forward while his back side fell, well, back.

"You guys want to go in or what?" Deadpool asked.

They were amazed at what he could do, of coarse. But they followed Deadpool inside, to see an assortment of items, mostly to the nature of native American culture and spears. Also a big boz full of beads. Lots and lots of beads.

Deadpool grabbed the head dress from the Indian chief manikin. He was sporting it with his two guns in each hands.

"How I look?" He said with this sort of smug.

"You look like a guy wearing a head dress." Columbus said with some blandness.

Deadpools slouched forward. "I know that, but don't I look cool!?"

Columbus just shrugged and kept looking at Witchita. Deadpool looked at then both, there was something right there in front of him. He just couldn't make it out-

"That's it! Columbus wants to make out with Witchita!"

{You just stole that from my narration.}

Columbus looked at Deadpool.

"Oh, Columbo! You adorable skinny guy, you!"

"Uhmm... Thanks? Look, could you just not mention it to Witchita?"

Deadpool had his hands together and under the side of his head like a mesmerized lady "that's cute. You know what? I'll help you out!"

Columbus shook his head "no! Just..."

Little rock accidentally dropped some little ornament deal and it broke into pieces. Deadpool smirked "let's tear this place to the ground!"

They began breaking lots of stuff. Witchita broke the mirror she was looking at, stomping the glass down. Columbus broke the boxes filled with beads, releasing them like a river.

Little rock knocked all the shelf's down like dominos, shattering to pieces.

Deadpool had a big hammer and smashed some stuff, but then put some explosives in the place, running out

"RUN!" He yelled.

They all ran out, wandering what they were running from. They looked up and saw the whole place go Kablewey!

It was like one big firework. Witchita and little rock said "Wow!"

Columbus was surprised. Zombie head Legolas was trying to say words of amazement but just did gurgles and growls.

They drove off onto the road, talking of trivial things and...

{Oh god! Shut off the Miley Cyrus!}

"What? Lil' rock just likes the musi-"

Suddenly the radio and CD Player stopped working.

"What happened?" Little Rock said.

Deadpool just sighed. "The author just doesn't like Hannah Montana."