November
Thanksgiving had just passed. Emily and I decided to stay in town since we were both from out of state, where as Jessica went to her parent's home two hours away. By this time I had at lost all my feelings for Emily, we were just friends; we both liked it this way. I received a strange message one night two days after Thanksgiving from Emily. "Can I see you, please?" I read sleepily as I checked the clock; it was quarter of three in the morning.
"Is it important?" I wrote back and waited for a response.
"Yes."
"Want to meet at the park on the corner of Court Street and Rodeo Drive?" I sent before putting on sweat pants and my high school swim team sweatshirt.
A soft buzz on my dresser indicated she had responded.
"Ok."
The cold wind felt like someone was whipping me across the face with razor wire. It wasn't even winter and the wind chill was below freezing. Aside from the gentle glow of the moon the only source of light were the street lamps. I began to think of reasons why Emily would want to meet me this early in the morning. I hoped it wasn't anything bad. I turned the corner and saw Emily sitting on the swing set.
"Hey." I said casually as I sat down next to her on the second swing.
"I'm so glad you came." Emily said turning her head away from mine so I couldn't see her face. It was obvious that she had been crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to talk in a soothing tone.
"It's Ralph. He…he-"she began, but couldn't finish. Ralph was her current boyfriend; he had an apartment on the other side of town.
"What happened?" I asked my mouth going dry.
Emily turned her head slowly and looked at me. I was horrified at what I saw. Blood was smeared across her face, her left eye was slowly turning blue and there were marks on her arm indicating someone had grabbed her arm and held it tightly.
"What the hell happened?" I asked furiously, I was about ready to go kill this guy; I wouldn't have been able to take him, it was the anger speaking. Ralph was a personal trainer at the local gym; he looks like an ape on steroids.
"I don't know what happened. I got up and asked him if he was going to bed and he just went off at me. Why does this always happen? Why can't I find a decent guy in this city!?" Emily started to cry, she cupped her face in her hands.
"It seems all the good ones are taken, like you for example. Jessica is always going off about how special you are and how kind you are to her; it makes me wonder when I'll be able to find someone like you." She sucked back her tears and some mucus wiping her eyes with the navy blue mittens I picked up for her a few weeks ago.
"Don't worry you'll find some-" I wasn't able to even finish my sentence; Emily had pressed her lips to mine. It was just like the night at the pumpkin patch. I was lost in a whirlwind of lust as I returned her kisses and slowly massaged her tongue with my own. We were kissing for only a few minutes. A surge of emotions passed through me all at once, shock, excitement, sorrow, lust. She wanted me and I wanted her.
"I'm pathetic…"
"No you're not."
"Yes I am. I just kissed my friend's boyfriend…" Emily looked away from me, she may have been blushing, but it was too dark to tell.
"Its ok, part of that fault is on me. I'd be lying to you if I told you that I didn't want it as well."
"This is wrong." Emily turned her head away from me and looked at the ground.
"Its ok, we'll pretend this never happened alright?" I said warmly as I smiled at her.
"What if…I don't want to pretend it didn't happen? What if I wanted it to happen?"
"What are you trying to say?"
"I…I love you!" Emily blurted out staring at me dead in the eye.
I don't remember exactly what happened next. Her words left me stunned. After that confession more came.
"It's always been you, always--" Emily began tenderly.
"I asked Susan to swap places with me when I saw that she was sitting next to you in class. Then when Jessica told me she liked you I realized that I couldn't go against her.. At first, you seemed so plain and well, average. As I got to know you my feelings changed and at the pumpkin patch I was finally able to admit to myself that I did have feelings for you and when we kissed, I felt it. But, it still didn't stop you from pursuing Jessica…"
"Why!? Why couldn't you just leave her at that point! It was obvious that I liked you! Why did you have to torture me and announce that you two were dating! When I heard that I…I… " Emily was unable to finish; she had succumbed to her tears and sank to her knees.
"I'm sorry." I said in my most gentle and tender voice although I knew it wouldn't comfort her.
"Come back to my place, you can sleep there with me tonight." I said as I offered her my hand, she embraced it and together we walked back to my apartment. I was done fighting; I had given in to my carnal desire.
The next day I met Jessica and Emily for lunch at our usual table. I had a bad feeling.
"There he is! Ask him for yourself if you don't believe me." Emily said energetically as she waved to me, I gave a slight hand gesture, which on a different day would have been a less energetic wave, but today it was barely a hand flick.
"Is it true?" Jessica asked in a tone I had never heard her use before.
"Is what true?" I asked confused looking to Emily for signs of what Jessica meant; I could have sworn I saw an almost sinister smile on Emily's face.
"Is it true that Emily spent the night with you?" Jessica asked once more in that same demanding tone. I wish I could have seen where this was going, looking back at it I feel like a fool for not understanding.
"Yes…" I began, that was all Jessica needed to hear. She stood up and slapped me hard across the face.
"You're a horrible person!" She shouted before storming off.
"What the hell was that about?" I demanded as I massaged the sore spot on my left cheek.
Emily had stretched the truth about what happened the night before to Jessica in hopes of breaking us up. I stormed out of the dining hall hoping to catch Jessica. I caught up to her in front of the fountain in the center of the quad.
"Jessica wait!" I shouted behind her.
"For what!? For you to tell me that you've been cheating with her the whole time?" Jessica retorted angrily.
"No, I'm telling you that Emily was lying. Yes she did spend the night, but nothing happened…"
"Is that so? Emily told me you guys were up the entire night, which would explain why you ditched class today!"
Shit, she had me there. I missed class because my alarm hadn't gone off. At this point I would have wagered anything that Emily had turned off my alarm when she left my apartment.
"My alarm didn't go off…" I said weakly. I didn't even believe myself when I said that.
"Please, just look at me!" I took Jessica by the shoulders so she would face me, her body may have been facing me, but her head was looking off in the distance.
"I…I can't do this!" She shouted as she shook herself loose then ran off blending in with the crowd.
