Addie watched Meredith leave and knew instantly that she should follow her. It seemed as though Richard was thinking along the same lined as he encouraged her to do so too. She moved to stand, looking at her children before following Meredith into the kitchen. She moved into the room and closed the doors so Meredith wouldn't have a point of exit. Meredith was standing at the sink. Addie could see that she was pretending to clean. Addie sighed. "Meredith" she said softly as she started to undo the buttons on her coat. Stripping it off and throwing it over the chair closest to her. "Mer" she said again, this time as she started ti undo her blouse. Still Meredith didn't turn around. Addie threw her blouse down on the table. "I need to show you something Meredith. Please turn around." she prompted as she removed her singlet. Addie closed her eyes, not wanting to even look at herself, let alone show the person she loved the most. "Fine, you dont want to look. But at least you can listen." Addie said as tears started to form. "Two months" Addie said at first. "Two months before i give birth, i was diagnosed with cancer, breast cancer." Addie told her. "I had found the lump when i was examining myself in the shower. I didnt want to tell you because we were finally getting our dream. Everytime i went to tell you, i found a reason why i couldn't. You see Mer i didnt want you to see them rip my body apart. Take away a part of me that was meant to nourish our children. I was taking a rish Mer, i was playing with out lives. So i did some research Mer. I needed to find a place who could treat me straight after giving birth. Somewhere that would be a place you wouldn't go looking for me. Somewhere you couldn't see." Addie told her as she noticed Meredith stop completely. Addie unclasped her bra, skillfully so that she didnt need to look down at her scars. "I didnt kow the full strength of my diagnosis when i got to Bostons Cancer Clinic at Harvard I didnt know how i could do this without you, but i knew that our kids needed you, and that me... and this... it would be too much for you." Addie continued dangerously. "I had to have a masectomy, followed by a few rounds of chemo and 6 weeks of Radiotherapy. They cooked me Mer." Addie said shakily. "My body is scarred, its red raw. It's imperfect and it hurts, but none of it hurt as much as being away from you." she spoke softly now. "Mer please look at me." Addie said as she was getting ready to beg. Meredith's shoulders shook and tears stroked down her face as she put down the glass that she had been holding. She slowly turned around to a sight that had made her gasp. Where Addie's right breast had been were several bandages. Meredith slowly moved forward. She wanted to do many things. Her head was racing with thoughts about what she was seeing. There was her wife's beatuiful milky skinned body, and it was obviously damaged. Meredith moved closer again, until she was pretty much standing right in front of Addie. Her hand reached up and began removing the bandages. "Mer" Addie said warily. Meredith carefully removed them, one by one, revealing the burnt skin. Addie's skin was red, the burn marks distinctive as they almost too the attention away from the scar from the masectomy. Meredith very carefully ran her hand over the scar, her fingers tracing the burn lines. She could not believe that someone had done this to the person who was centre of her world. Who was the reason she had once woken up int he morning. Tracing the lines back again, Meredith could have sworn that she could feel Addie's heart beating under her touch. "Our love wasn't enough." Meredith finally choked out as she then went to turn away, this being a moment that was causing more pain than waking up and finding Addie gone. Addie grabbed her on the shoulder and stopped her. "Fuck Mer, cant you see that it was only our love that kept me going. That had me put my body throug such an ordeal. It was knowing that if i could beat this, then i would be coming home to you, and our beautiful children." Meredith stood there not sure what to say to her. What could one say to the person who had ran from then when they were most needed. "I love you Mer, and that coupled with those babies in there is what had me so willing to take such radical treatment." Addie told her, and on still seeing the doubt in her lovers eyes she pulled Meredith to her, and put everything she could into one simple kiss.
