AN: Sorry it's been a little while! I was away at camp for a week and just got back. Here is the last planned installment of Exit Strategies. I may do more once in awhile if I time. However, I leave for school in three weeks and my life is going to get super crazy, so please be patient because I probably won't be able to update for a while.
Disclaimer: I'm a broke student, if I had enough money to buy Star Wars… I'd probably pay for school first.
Exit strategy #25: Always carry extra repel line incase you have to rappel down a level or two to reach a safe gangway when yours is blown up.
Exit strategy #26: Always make sure more than one person knows the schematics of the building you are storming incase someone with the schematics is stupid enough to end up unconscious!
Exit strategy #27: When trying to under a platform, activate magnetized treads to hang upside down or use repel line to have multiple people cling to.
Exit Strategy #28: If you find yourself or your unit surrounded by battle droids, you're low on ammo, but there's a densely wooded area or forest nearby, split up into groups of two or three and scatter, forcing the droids to separate, and pick up off from underbrush or trees.
Exit Strategy #29: If you and your squad are sweeping a building and you smell something funny, and not strange food funny, or something clicks when you move it, find the nearest exit, be it window, door, or the way you came in, and leave. Quickly.
Exit Strategy #30: If you can hear your CO's cursing from down the hallway, or see them with a particularly dark and creepy gleam in their eyes: 1. If you can't avoid them, salute and stand at attention until they pass so they're less likely to snap at you. 2. Duck into whatever room is closest to you and wait until they are safely down the hall before exiting the room and walking in the opposite direction. 3. Turn back the way you came and stay out of range of their wrath.
Exit Strategy #31: When trying to escape the enemy in an open field or desert, in an open field, try and find a ditch to lay in and cover yourself with dirt. In a desert, hide behind a dune and try and bury most of yourself in the sand.
Exit Strategy #32: If someone yells fire, even if they are known for pulling pranks, get out of the building. If they're telling the truth, be glad you left the building. If they're lying and actually pulling a prank, you are automatically given permission to kick his shebs.
Exit Strategy #33: During live-fire exercises with explosives, if a brother drops something and curses as it happens, drop your weapon, sprint like haran from the range and close the blast doors behind you. If the brother who dropped the live explosive is standing there like an di'kut, shoulder carry his shebs out of there.
Exit Strategy #34: If someone tell you "Go on it'll be funny", especially if natives say it then say something to their buddies, fake a com call from a superior, medical or squad emergency, or any other plausible excuse to get yourself out of the situation because it will NOT be funny, somebody will get hurt, probably you.
Exit Strategy #35: If your gunship catches fire in the air, wait as long as you can to get closer to the ground then jump and roll out of your fall. Bonus points to those who scream the loudest and most like a terrified child, even though they are perfectly fine. Just make sure the people screaming aren't actually injured
Exit Strategy #36: In any circumstance, if someone comes running towards you, screaming and flailing around like a deranged utreekov, something has gone wrong or they're trying to warn you of something. First grab the brother, and stop him from flailing, especially during battle or on the field, then try and find the cause of the brother's flailing. Chances are you'll probably want to start running away.
I hope you guys like it! I thought these were fun to do and I hope you guys found them just as funny!
Utreekov- Moron
Shebs- Backside
Di'kut- Idiot
Haran- Hell
