Deek's POV

The ride home for Kensi and I felt like we were driving to an unexpected funeral, generally gloomy and sad. I really hated my wife's new deployment this time but I didn't know how to get her out of it. I almost didn't get her back from that dismal place the last time she'd been sent there and this time I wouldn't even be there to watch her back. The whole thing made me uncomfortable and I wasn't sure I could take losing her if it came to that. It didn't make me feel any better that Kensi didn't want to go either: that much was incredibly evident. It terrified her because of what had happened to her the last time she'd been in country. What did Hetty think sending her back there?

"I'm riding in with you tomorrow." I made sure there would be no doubt that there would be an argument over it. I meant to talk to Callen about keeping my wife safe and she knew it. I think that she expected it and I hoped Callen expected it as well.

Kensi acknowledged my comment with a nod of her head. "We should be back soon. Hetty said it might be a couple of days or a week." She spoke optimistically and I knew that internally she hoped that was what Hetty meant, but deeper down inside she understood that our boss was being as sincere as she could be. She sensed Hetty's intense dislike of this operation and that'd been why she spoke up about choosing someone else to go.

When the two of us arrived home I took Monty for a walk and came back rather quickly. I didn't want to miss any of this day with my wife. Kensi had lunch prepared and we tried to eat it but nothing really tasted good. We ended up throwing it away and sat wrapped up in each other.

Neither of us said anything since the drive home, verbally, but our body language spoke volumes. Kensi and I've never had the best oral communication skills, ours were more physical and we could read each other like a book with just a glance.

Kensi didn't need to have it said: she knew my anger wasn't aimed at her but at the lousy situation. She saw it as a seething, smoldering anger emanating from me. What I saw was a resigned Kensi: The good soldier who rarely argued or disobeyed any order and that aspect of her life drove me crazy. Why didn't she argue more about this one? She could have. What else could be going on here that she couldn't see? There had to be more.

I met Kensi's mismatched eyes with my own blues and asked the sixty-four thousand dollar question. "Come on Kens, what do you think this mission is all about? Really? Are you two really going to chase down a Taliban group that targets U.S. Servicemen? The Taliban do that all the time. It's nothing new. NCIS in Kabul should take care of that. What is the real mission and why were you two expressly chosen for this? There has to be a reason it's you and Callen."

I asked all the questions that I thought Kensi had pondered during our ride home. She thought of those questions the minute Hetty gave the orders. She just never had the chance to ask any of the questions to ease her own mind. Hetty sent her home as soon as she'd thought them and that was curious in itself. She also felt that Hetty felt coerced to give those commands, but by who and why? Kensi also felt that she disliked both the orders and having to give them to her agents, no, her family members, that she thought would have problems carrying them out or even coming home. Callen had hung back and maybe he got Hetty to spill but if she didn't want to say anything, she wouldn't, and they both knew that. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe she didn't know any of the answers Callen and Kensi looked for. Maybe we'll never know the answers.

Kensi didn't smile or even move from where we sat. "Marty, I don't know yet. Maybe Callen got more from Hetty after I left. I got the impression from his stance that he didn't like the mission. He would be looking for an escape from it. He felt that Hetty didn't like the mission or have the information to carry it out efficiently. She'd have no alternative to give the orders, after all she's been placed on a short leash lately by Vance and has to do as she'd been ordered. Presumably, if I read her right, there can be no changes to the mission once it's in play. If there is more she probably shared it with Callen as long as Granger wasn't around. I'll even bet there are parts of this operation that were kept from her as well. Vance has been known to do that to our group."

As Kensi spoke, she rose from the couch and walked to the doors to the deck which overlooked the beach across the road. Proximity to the beach is the main reason we bought the house. She looked out at the waves on the ocean and sighed. I moved to stand behind her and held her from behind and gazed out at the ocean with her. Kensi snuggled back into my arms and I felt her body heave against me, heavy with sadness and despair. I felt her give in to one silent sob and knew there'd be no others. She turned around to face me with one tear on her cheek. "Marty let's go out there and surf. You once told me that it is always a good day when you're on the water. Prove it to me."

I looked down at her face and chuckled to myself. Surfing is far from my wife's favorite thing to do. I usually have to drag her to the surf boards but here she was asking to go. I couldn't say no so I wiped the tear from her face and smiled. "When we get back from the beach we can watch America's Top Model or Titanic, you can choose."

Kensi smiled back at me but it was a forlorn kind of smile. "Let's do it." She broke free of my arms to get her wet suit and get dressed for our time in the surf. I went along after her.

We spent the rest of the day in the surf riding wave after wave, on the couch watching her favorite shows and movies and in bed enjoying each other for as long as we stayed awake. Who knew when we'd do any of that again?