My, my, quite a while since last update. I truly apologize, I didn't intend to keep "quiet" for so long. :) Hope this chapter can make up for it! And.. wow.. such a response to this fic. I feel so humbled. Thank you ALL for the lovely lovely reviews and follows and favorites. To those who reviewed as guests: thank you for taking the time to write some lines to me, I'm sorry I couldn't reply to you! I'm really glad so many of you like this fic, and looking forward to more feedback from you all! :D Reviews are like candy!

ps. Vacation was fantastic! *in love* :3

But now... on with the fic! Enjoy~!

.*.*.*.

"Why is he even here?!" – the younger man hissed staring out at the fields over the stone wall, pulling his tunic tighter around his neck. Even though this part of the castle was more shielded then the other, evening chilly winds have found their way around the walls and started to pick up again; making patrol duty become unpleasant.

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"He's a sorcerer. You've seen what he did to those mercenaries..! I should have shot him when I had the chance.."

"Victor, I don't believe ya! He is just a boy." - Garreth stopped in his track looking at him in disbelief.

"Yes, but still a sorcerer! I don't like sorcerers. They are dangerous! I had many of my kin killed by them.."

"Well, I had many of my kin healed by them, so where does that put them?" – the older man growled back as they paced further along the top of the castle wall.

Victor remained quiet.

"Ya cant let one thing blind ye. Don't get me wrong, I had my fair share of bad people that used magic for despicable things, but they are still only people. And ye heard what the patrols said; passage is cut off 'cos of the blasted snow. If the queen sees it fit for the boy to stay, then I don't see why ye should complain. He's quite a friendly fellow too. Ya should give him a chance and meet him."

"I don't want to." – he spat and walked off in the other direction, leaving the older warrior in confusion of just what could Victor have suffered though to have it leave such a mark on him and make him hate someone just because they happened to posses the gift of magic.

It worried him somehow.

.*.

Enota found it to be an extremely difficult and overly frustrating task to get Merlin to eat. He either kept saying he's not hungry or complained of stomach pain, nausea or would only eat just a few bites.

The physician got to the point of threatening him, but gave up seeing as threats seemed to have no effect on him, - almost as if he'd be used to them. Or he plainly stirred the conversation away so easily and so efficiently the elderly woman started doubting this man was a servant at all and not a diplomat for Camelot.

However Merlin couldn't explain it either, his stomach just refused to work and he would feel so full even after a few bites, he didn't want to risk getting sick; not more then he already felt. No doubt the numerous potions to dim the pains of his injuries did their part, but they dimmed and slowed down his mind and body as well. He knew very well, eating was the only way to regain his strength, and make up for the blood loss, but for the time being he could only manage few bites at a time before it all started to feel like he had downed a full feast fit for a king; or just felt too exhausted to have more; thus the physician only allowed him to get up for short period of times – not that Merlin felt up to doing more then sitting or walking around in the chambers.

"You had a visitor last night, after you fell asleep" – Enota said out of the blue with a waggish smile; not looking up from the vial of dark green liquid she was pouring into a small bottle, while watching to carefully measure the amount.

"Oh? Who was it?" – Merlin picked his head up.

"A young lady." – she said and turned to face the servant as she stirred the content of the bottle, discretely observing he boy's expression. – "Her name is Sefa."

Nothing.

Merlin didn't even flinch at the name.

"Is she from Camelot?"

"Not sure, but it's where she met you, as she said."

"Can I go talk to her?"

"Of course."

"Where is she?"

"I'll tell you after you ate your porridge." – she said with a cunning smirk.

Merlin looked at her with pursed lips, then staring down at the bowl in front of him; that just looked ridiculously full.

"Great" - he mumbled.

He felt somewhat relieved when there was a knock on the door, however grew a bit uneasy when three grunt looking guards stepped in.

"The queen wishes the servant to be escorted to her chambers." – one of them said.

Enota let out a sigh.

"Escorted? The queen said that?" – she puffed, letting the jar in her hand drop on the table a little louder then she intended. - "By the three of you?"

"I understand he is wounded and weak. We are to assist if he feels faint."

Merlin felt something in him wanted to retort to that.

"I am not weak!" but he decided to shush, matter of fact the statement not being far from the truth, however wondering why in the world would there be a need for three armed guards to escort him.

"Climbing two sets of stairs?" – Enota scoffed and the man found he was out of replies, but then the woman just waved and turned back to her working table. - "Go on, Merlin." – she said.

True; it seemed a bit absurd and strange to have three men accompany him on a seemingly short walk, but the young warlock couldn't help but wonder just what was upsetting the elderly woman so much about that. Something just seemed off.

.*.

"Annis?"

"That is Queen Annis to you and you will bow to the queen!" - a voice hissed from behind him as he stepped in through the door and before he could realize, the man gripped the back of his head roughly and pushed it down, causing Merlin no little discomfort and dizziness from the sudden movement, he gasped for air and tried to steady himself, as for a moment it felt like the man will simply push him to the ground.

"That's enough." – Annis raised her voice as she lifted her gaze from the parchments in front of her. - "You are dismissed, Cafall."

"But my queen.. "

"Dismissed." - the queen said raising her tone.

The man hesitantly bowed and left, slamming the door behind him on the way out, but not before giving the boy another very unfriendly look.

The queen let out a sigh once the door was shut.

"How are you feeling, Merlin?" – the young man picked his head up to Annis's voice once again calm.

"Alright.." - Merlin carefully nodded with a hand on his head. – "I've been better though" – he added slowly – "I think." For a moment he didn't know which part of his body to grab, but figured, at that time, his head hurt the most.

"You better sit down. Cafall isn't known for being gentle with the wounded." – she said, eyeing Merlin for a moment. – "He is one of those people that just take their job all too seriously." – the woman added and she sometimes wondered why he is serving at the court at all; despite being a good strategist the man was pretty damn hard to put up with in person; and held himself and others ridiculously strict to rules and etiquette of all situations. It was a miracle how he got along for so many years with the late raiding king Caerleon.

The queen now needed information, and the more time passed the more pressing it became, and she figured rules a nd regulations of communication, and differences between classes are something that could get in the way of that; more so now, that Merlin was in a state he was in.

"Thank you.." - he said and was grateful for the offered seat as the room hasn't quite stopped spinning after that forceful bow; his stitches as well felt burning from the sudden pull. Enota did give him medicine for the pain; but she did say getting the head of the arrow out proved to be difficult, leaving a nasty wound; so he will feel discomfort from it for some time, before it will actually start to get better; potions or not.

He caught glimpse of a mirror at the far end of the room and stared in amazement, for a second thinking there is someone else in the room as well, before he realized he was staring at his own reflection. Looking at the bandage around his head, with his dark hair peering out in all angles from the top; his right eye somewhat red, his cheek a little bruised and blue; the makeshift sling for his arm and shoulder; his features, his very own face seemed unfamiliar.

He looked pale. – he remarked and tried to ignore the fact of just how uneasy the unfamiliarity of his own reflection was making him.

Rustling of papers caught the young man's attention and he looked at the queen instead, who was going through the parchments once more, but rather just putting them in order then actually reading them, and she was visibly upset from something as she let the whole pile fall on her desk. Merlin couldn't help but wonder if it was something of his doing.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news." - the woman sighed and looked up at him. - "I have sent to Camelot, but the passages have been snowed in and it will take some time for the messenger to be able to pass through and get a reply. The patrols came back empty-handed. They found nothing, but a burnt down campsite east of here, with the usual signs of battle. The dead are presumably peasants and bandits, but no sign of knights or crew or patrols of Camelot." – the queen said and Merlin wondered why she was telling him all this. It was making him fidgety; however the woman continued. – "There also were tracks of horses and a large carriage, but they all seemed to have vanished at some point. However if Arthur is out there, we need to find him.. Merlin? What's wrong?" – she noticed the boy reaching to his head.

He gasped at the mention of the carriage as a flash of metal bars and creaking sound of wheels flooded his senses.

"The carriage.. it's ..it's a cage." – he said slowly, - "I think.." - He squeezed his eyes shut to try and chase off the rising headache and reach to those images before they slipped away.

"Like a bounty hunter's cage?"

"Something like that.."

"Remember anything else?" – she asked eagerly.

"No.."

"Anything at all?"

"No!" – Merlin felt getting irked of her insistence, but felt guilty once looking at Annis. Clearly she was concerned for this Arthur. King Arthur. - "I'm sorry. I don't remember.." – he mumbled. – "But.. Enota said there's someone who recognized me here.. from Camelot." – he said quickly as if to save himself; as if to give at least something, since he couldn't give anything of his memories.

"Who?" – the woman picket up her head again.

"She said her name was.. Sefa." – the boy replied after a brief thought.

"The new servant girl." - Annis pondered a little surprised. - "Didn't know she was from Camelot.." - she added more to herself then to the young man. - "Good. I want you to talk to her. Until we can reach Camelot and find out what happened or my men find anything in the forest, I want you to try and remember whatever you can.. Try and do things you used to, be around things that might be familiar.. " - she said, then looking at Merlin's arm in the makeshift sling she added – "Though, I don't suggest juggling, just yet.."

"I can juggle?" - the young man asked wide-eyed and very much surprised.

.*.

"Why haven't you told me!? You know how important this is!"

"Of curse I do, Annis! I had the intention of talking to the girl myself, but whatever it was that made her leave Camelot behind was no small matter; she got quite upset."

"Upset or not, the king of Camelot might still be out there and his servant is so battered up he can't remember his own name! Arthur's life may be in danger!" – the queen hissed the obvious, as both women knew it very well what's at stake.

They stood in silence for a while.

Sefa was nowhere to be found.

For lack of any better ideas, Annis wanted to ride out and take Merlin with her in hope that the sight of the forest and the valley will help him remember, and although the idea itself was good, Enota opposed, saying riding would worsen his condition, which was also true, not to mention the snowfall that even the patrols were struggling with.

Queen Annis felt she was running out of time.

.*.

Enota was picking leaves off some herbs while Merlin sat and watched.

"Can I do that?" – he asked out of the blue.

The physician looked up at him.

"What? This?"

"Yes; might as well do something." - Merlin said and carefully maneuvered his hand out of the sling. – "I feel so useless." – he added sheepishly.

"A manservant never rests, ey?" - Enota remarked.

"Suppose not." – he smiled weakly. He really felt like doing something at all times. Sitting idly was irksome. It gave him too much time to think, and he didn't want to admit it but it scared him to do that. There was so much to think about, yet there was nothing there; and it never got him anywhere.

"Well, if you want to help, you need to pick.."

"The leaves and seeds." - Merlin finished her sentence with a nod. – "I know."

Enota raised an eyebrow.

"How?"

"That's Agrimony. It's good for wounds."

The physician looked at him somewhat surprised and Merlin looked as well furrowing his brow at the plant; then at the woman.

"And this?" - she pointed to another bundle of herb behind her, that was set to dry, still keeping her gaze on the young man.

"That's, Betony.."

"That?" – pointing to some orange flowers on the other table.

"It's marigold." - the boy's eyes widened once he realized just what she's getting at. - "Chamille! Yarrow! Willow-herb Comfrey! Coltsfoot!" - Merlin named each and every herb the elderly woman pointed at one by one, and then laughed.

"Well, for a king's manservant, you certainly know your way around the plants." – Enota was overjoyed.

"Finally, I know something!" – the young man cheered.

"What about magic?" – Enota asked carefully and saw Merlin think and tense after a few moments. He furrowed his brows again, seemingly looking for memories of it, but written on his face was that he found none, and his smile slowly faded and he shook his head slightly.

"I.. I don't know any spells.." – he mumbled. – "I don't remember.."

"It's alright, it will come to you." – the elderly woman smiled at him encouragingly, then handed him a handful of herbs. – "This is a start. A good start."

Merlin smiled weakly and took the herbs and slowly started to picking the leaves off.

They were almost at the end of the pile when someone knocked on the door and a familiar face peeked in.

"The queen wants to see ye, Merlin."

"Thank you, Garreth." - he nodded, then looked at Enota and moved to his feet.

"The girl Sefa turned up." – the man added and they both picked their heads up.

"Oh? Is she alright?" – the physician asked.

"Yes.. apparently she was down by the market helping out a farmer." – he shrugged, but the woman had her suspicion; however just looked on with furrowed brows, not wording her thoughts.

Sefa did help out around the castle, but considering how agitated she had become once seeing Merlin and learning of what has happened, the elderly woman thought loading vegetables was not the ideal activity, certainly not in the state she ran off in that evening.

"I'll be on my way then.." – Merlin said with poorly concealed excitement. He was really curious who this servant is and how she knows him. He had questions; he hoped to get answers; he hoped to remember.

Enota wanted to go with him, if not for else but to see if Sefa is alright. She had grown fond of the girl. Found her to be hardworking and humble; and while she kept to herself, she was kind and – Enota valued it a lot - had a real gift of a touch for herbs, like none before, saying it was her inheritance from her father.

The two men left the physician's chamber and Enota made a mental note to talk to the girl later on.

.*.

Shoulder slumped and steps heavy, the manservant made his way back into the physician's chamber after some time.

Enota only spared him a glance as he stepped in, but quickly picked her head up again seeing there was something off with him as he just stood in the door.

"Merlin? Are you alright?" – she asked with concern in her voice.

The boy shook his head and rubbed his eyes but didn't say anything, then made his way to the table and sat across from the elderly woman.

She saw he was struggling to find the words, and he was visibly upset with a mix of fear and desperation on his features, with the somehow ever-present exhaustion, looking completely dejected, shivering all the while as if he's been outside the castle. He breathed heavily as his eyes got somewhat moist and Enota felt she will grab him and shake him if he doesn't start talking.

Finally he spoke.

"I can't go back to Camelot. I won't.. They will.. they will kill me if I do.."

His words followed by hollow silence.