III.
Chapter three: Chess.
So, that night, they played chess. The board was lying on the carpet, in front of the fire, where it was nice and warm. When Sirius came down after his shower Remus was holding two mugs filled with hot chocolate.
"You've played chess before, right?" Remus asked as they sat down in front of the fireplace.
"Yah, I know the rules and stuff. So… let's do this."
And they did. It went fine, at least at first. But Remus had been right. Chess wasn't made for Sirius. He enjoyed it for a while—but he didn't like the idea of losing. So when Remus was about to win, Sirius tackled Remus to the floor in one quick move, 'accidentally' bumping over the board, and kissing him fiercely.
"You're not really a good loser, are you?" Remus was a little flustered, laid on the soft carpet. Sirius was sitting on top, softly caressing Remus' neck with his lips, both of them casting shadows on the wall, being heated by the fire.
"Who said anything about losing?" Sirius pointed at the board, he was feeling very comfortable sitting on top.
"But…" Remus half tried to get up, and was interrupted by a pair of lips, crushing onto his.
"Isn't this more fun than chess?"
"Hm." Remus mumbled.
Sirius grinned, and continued talking, leaving Remus longing for his lips.
"Who ever said chess wasn't my sort of game?" Sirius stared onto Remus' amber eyes innocently.
"Not me." Remus pulled Sirius' head down, and gave him a soft kiss.
Sirius' hands crawled under Remus' sweater, explored Remus' stomach, and soon after Remus became sweater-less, Sirius' hands tugging off the fabric over his head. For Remus, it took even less time to take off Sirius' clothes, since he was only wearing a bathrobe, and black, silky boxers, so the bathrobe disappeared, and Sirius now sat on top of Remus, who was still wearing his jeans, with only boxers. Sirius planted soft kisses on Remus' belly, and licked his bellybutton. A moan escaped from Remus' lips as Sirius lowered Remus' jeans, and started kissing his groin. Sirius smiled and moved up again, kissing Remus' lips. Sirius took Remus' hand and softly kissed his fingers, putting his lips on every single inch of them, kissing his palm, wrist, everything, while looking deep into Remus eyes. There was something sexy and hot about that. Then, he kissed Remus' neck, going down. There're moments that just don't need any talking, and this was one of them. Moments were all the bad crap in the world is forgotten, moments when even broken pieces get mend again. In this moment, there was only Sirius and Remus, and warm fire, and enchanting eyes. Even though they didn't went further then kissing and licking and unbuttoning jeans, kissing earlobes, biting lips, whatever, it had something very passionate, something lovingly. Remus eventually ended up on top, kissing Sirius, just as fiercely as Sirius had been kissing him. This time, it was Sirius' turn to let out a soft moan, as Remus' hand travelled along Sirius' thigh. Sirius flopped over again, holding Remus' legs in check with his own, and kissed him, as they moved in a steady pace. Remus was still wearing his jeans, but he didn't seem to care, he just needed Sirius' touch, and his lips. They moved until there was no space for movements, just pressing heat. Remus held on to Sirius, clamping his arms desperately around Sirius' shoulders. It turned out to be the hottest, sweatiest orgasm ever, as they both cried out in ecstasy. Sirius kissed Remus and then looked down, because they had both been wearing underwear.
"I think I'll need another shower." He grinned and pulled Remus up, kissed him again, and carried him upstairs, ready for a shower.
--
Later, when they where both lying in Remus' bed, nicely draped under a black blanket, Sirius' legs hugging Remus' waist, Sirius said: "just in case you hadn't noticed: I like chess, and everything that's attached to it," he stared at the brunette who was looking at the ceiling, a bit bedazzled. "That means I like you, if you still hadn't figured that out."
Remus smiled.
"Yah, I guessed so."
He snuggled deep into Sirius' arms, where he was safe, dozing off, while Sirius stroked his hair.
--
Remus woke up in the middle of the night—he didn't know what had awoken him, until he noticed Sirius wasn't next to him anymore.
"Sirius… where are you?" Remus yelled into the dark.
"Here…" it was coming from the hallway.
Remus ran to the voice. He found the owner of the voice in the bathroom, where Sirius was hanging over the toilet, looking pale and sick.
"Sirius! What happened?"
"Nothing, just a little trouble, I'm okay now you're here, let's go back to bed." Sirius got up, still a little shaky.
"I'll get you something to drink."
Remus went down the stairs, while Sirius went back to Remus' room, and crawled back into Remus' bed. When he came he was carrying two cups of—what else—hot chocolate.
"Here."
Sirius took the cup he was offered. He sat up straight, taking a sip.
"What exactly happened?"
"Had a bad dream, ran to the toilet, threw up."
Sirius looked into the depths of his cup.
"What's wrong Sirius?" Remus asked.
He stared at Sirius, but he didn't want to look up.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked in a silent voice.
Remus blinked.
"When?"
Sirius still didn't look at Remus, this had been bothering him ever since he had seen Remus' scarred skin.
"When it's that time of the month, when we fight… I mean, the scars… they can't all be your doing. I think… maybe I am responsible for… some of them…" Sirius took another sip.
"Sirius, that doesn't matter!" Remus yelled. "I mean… look at your collarbone…" He had given Sirius a nasty scratch there once, but Sirius didn't really mind the scar. He secretly admired it, to him, it was proof that Moony was real, it gave him hope, the pain proved that Moony really was there, and that made him feel… safer. "That was my fault, did you forget about that?" Remus continued. "And honestly, I don't keep track of who gives me scars! All I know is that they're here, and disgusting!"
Sirius looked up, but Remus had turned away a while ago. He didn't like to think about what covered his chest. And he didn't like Sirius knowing either. Though Sirius didn't seem to mind, but still…
"Moony…" Sirius was sitting surprisingly close. "It's okay…" Remus jumped from the bed, and ran away.
"No! it's not! Stop saying that it is Sirius, 'cause it's not!"
He ran down the stairs, and Sirius followed him. Remus opened the front door, and finally stopped. It was dark, but there were three men walking and singing, and coming towards Remus' house. They were probably heading home after a wild night of drinking and stuff like that. Remus stood on the driveway, sighing, and the drunken men came closer. Then Sirius came to stand behind Remus.
"Moony, it's alright by me." Remus turned around, fumbling with the buttons of Sirius' night shirt.
"It's not… they're…" Remus sighed.
"They're words." Sirius decided.
Remus starred at him, wondering what he was talking about. The men were still coming closer.
"And… they tell a very important story Moony, so don't be disgusted by them." Sirius locked his eyes with Remus'.
"What story?"
Sirius smiled.
"Yours," Sirius planted a soft kiss on the smaller man's nose. "Don't think bad about them Moony love, they're part of you. And that's just fine."
A little smile appeared on Remus' face, and now they finally noticed the men. Benjamin was the smallest of them, and the tallest was giving him support.
"Hi Remus." The only man that hadn't been drinking gave a little wave, and the whole group stopped.
Remus turned around, he didn't look all too happy, but then he saw who had said 'hi.'
"O! Hi Joey."
Sirius put a protecting arm around Remus' waist, and gave Benjamin a naughty glare, then he focused on Remus and Joey.
"Hi, I'm Joey." He put out a hand.
Sirius shook it with his own free one, and smiled—he liked Joey already.
"I'm Sirius, nice to meet you."
Benjamin started laughing aloud, and the man supporting him grinned. As he lowered his head to kiss Benjamin, it wasn't hard to notice the taller man's tongue slipping into Benjamin's mouth.
"Never mind them, they're drunk." Joey said.
"Really?" Sirius said sarcastically, without realising he pulled Remus closer.
Joey grinned, and the laughing began again, then the tallest man noticed Sirius and Remus.
"Oi! Remmi! What are you doing here?"
Now Sirius was fully aware of pulling Remus closer. Remus could feel the heat radiating from Sirius' body, and wrapped an arm around Sirius' hip, his hand sort of petting Sirius' back.
"I live here Boris, remember?"
"Of course, but now? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"Why?" Sirius asked.
Boris looked at him, a nasty grin on his face.
"'Cause that's what good boys do."
"Well, why we're not asleep is none of your business." Sirius snapped.
Benjamin waggled a little bit, held on to Boris, so he wouldn't fall, then said: "don't take it as a… personal attack… we were talking to little old Remus… not to you!"
"Benjamin, don't get in to this, you're drunk, get some sleep." Remus said.
"Puh! Don't tell me what to do! You're just jealous" Benjamin said.
Sirius let out a joyless laugh.
"Jealous? Of what? Disgusting, drunken French kisses? Ha." He mocked.
Remus put the hand that wasn't petting Sirius' back, on Sirius', which was still resting on Remus' stomach, and smiled. Sirius bent down and kissed him. It was something like saying: "he's mine" but that was okay. Remus didn't quite mind being Sirius'. Benjamin went white, and Boris pulled him away.
"Ignore them, come on." Boris gave Joey a glare.
"See you." Joey said, put his hands in his pockets, and followed Boris and Benjamin.
Boris had decided to distract Benjamin, by putting his hand inside of Benjamin's pants, Benjamin just closed his eyes, thinking of Remus.
Sirius turned Remus around, and looked into his amber eyes.
"They're right, good boys should go to bed early." Sirius said.
"Hmm, never knew we were good boys."
"Actually, I agree." Sirius smiled, and with a swift move, he lifted Remus up in his arms.
"Padfoot! What are you doing? Put me down!"
Sirius grinned.
"Nope, I like this." He went inside, closed the door with his foot, and carried Remus upstairs, where he laid Remus on the bed.
Remus stretched out his arms and yawned, his pyjama shirt crawled up to reveal his stomach. There was a thin scar, running above his navel, Sirius looked at it and smiled. No matter what Remus thought, Sirius' mind was made up: Remus was beautiful, and the scars couldn't change it. They actually had a good effect, 'cause every time Sirius saw them, he wanted to touch and kiss them, he wanted to make Remus feel wanted, because he was.
"You have got to be the most wonderful thing I've ever seen" Sirius said in a husky voice.
Remus' eyes started shinning, and he smiled a little, adorable smile.
"Come here Padfoot, please, hold me." He whispered, and Sirius laid himself next to Remus.
Holding him, he whispered in his ear: "you're amazing Remus. You make me forget about all the harm in the world."
"Don't say that Sirius, you're the man that does all of that. And Sirius, really, every time you smile… there're no words for it."
"O Remmi, I don't need words." Sirius backed away a little bit, so he could look into Remus' eyes.
"A kiss?" Remus asked.
"Uhu." Sirius nodded, and Remus kissed his cheek.
"Is that all? And then I'm supposed to be so amazing?"
Remus grinned, then he kissed Sirius nose.
"Hmm… getting a little closer." Sirius turned and lay on his back, Remus bend over Sirius, and kissed his earlobe.
"Now you're getting very cold."
Remus kissed him in the corner of his mouth.
"Mmmm, warmer." Sirius looked at Remus as he backed away.
"Hay! You're not planning on denying me this kiss, are you?"
Remus smiled, not even thinking about not giving him the kiss.
"Maybe."
"No way!" Sirius put his hand on Remus' neck, and pulled him back down.
Sirius kissed him carefully, and very slowly, making sure to enjoy every second of it. Remus felt Sirius taking hold of his hips, pressing Remus' against his own. It was marvellous, the way there hips seemed to be made for each other. Sirius let out a stifled moan, and then… the bell rang. Remus opened his eyes, and sighed.
"Okay… we'd better open it, maybe we're able to make them go away fast, but it could be serious, seeming it's so late." Remus said, and got up, not really wanting to, he waited for Sirius to follow him.
"Who on earth is dumb enough to disturb at such a moment?" Sirius muttered, as Remus opened the door.
It was Joey… and Benjamin. Benjamin's face had blood on it, and his eyes were closed.
"Come in." Remus said, without hesitating Joey helped Benjamin into the kitchen.
Remus looked at Sirius.
"I'm sorry." He said, with a mournful face.
"Don't be, it's in your nature to help people, even when they're total arses."
Sirius kissed Remus, and they went into the kitchen. Benjamin was sitting on a chair, his eyes still closed, Joey was waiting by the door.
"Remus, I'm so sorry about this, Boris just flipped, and I didn't know where to go, your place was close, really, sorry."
"That's okay, what happened?"
"Well…" Joey looked at Sirius. "Okay… so well, you probably noticed Boris being more interested in Benjamin then Benjamin in Boris." Remus and Sirius nodded, and Joey continued. "So when you guys kissed, Benjamin got, well… looser then he already was, and Boris saw that as an opportunity to… do things he wasn't supposed to do. At first Benjamin didn't even notice, Boris just was kind of dragging him, and well touching Benjamin and stuff. Benjamin's eyes were closed, I'm sure he was nearly sleeping, and it wasn't until he opened his eyes that he noticed that it was Boris, and not who ever it had been in his day-dream sort of thing. Benjamin stumbled away, Boris followed him, I followed both of them, Benjamin said 'no', Boris hit him, and forced his pants down. Luckily I found a branch before anything happened, I sneaked up behind Boris, and hit him on the head, after I made sure he was still breathing, I helped Benjamin here. As I said, your house was close, if I would've went to my place, Boris might've caught in on us or something, and he's definitely stronger. I'm sure by tomorrow he won't even know it happened, but for now…" Joey looked at Benjamin. "Can I… use the water or something? I don't think it's that bad, but it's best if I…" Joey lost track of what he was saying, and Remus nodded.
"You can stay too, you'll have to share my parents bed though."
"That's great, thanks," Joey went to the sink "but what about your guest, where will he… O, right, sorry." He smiled knowingly at them and went over to Benjamin.
"Let me see Ben." He turned Benjamin's head.
"Leave it," Benjamin grunted, but Joey started washing his face with a cold washcloth. "I said leave it." Benjamin pushed Joey's hand away. "It' my own dumb fault. I should've know! But really… can you believe Remus?" Remus froze, he had been about to help Joey.
Benjamin obviously didn't know Remus was anywhere near them.
"God! It makes me so mad!" Joey shook his head.
"What happened between you was your fault too Benjamin, don't forget about that, be glad Remus is happy now." He put the washcloth on Benjamin's face.
"What do I have to Remus' happiness if I'm not part of it." Benjamin closed his eyes again.
"Doesn't matter Ben, if we really love people, we just want them to be happy."
"I don't give a damn! It's not right! I want him! He should be mine!"
"Don't be that way Ben, don't act like you're able to owe a person, and as for Remus," Joey smiled at Remus. "He'll never be yours, and that's all your own fault! As I said, he's happy now, that's important."
"Puhh, I don't care."
"Then don't ever say that you love me again Benjamin," Remus said angrily and walked over to Sirius again. "Joey, you know my parents' room, right, you can use it, make sure to close all the doors, we'll be in my room if you need anything."
As Remus and Sirius walked away, Benjamin opened his eyes.
"He heard all of it?"
Joey nodded, and Benjamin sighed.
--
Remus sat down on Sirius' legs and smiled. Remus was about to kiss Sirius, when Sirius turned around to look at the door.
'Knock knock.'
"Come i…" the door opened at the exact moment that Remus turned Sirius' head and kissed him.
Sirius grinned and pulled Remus closer. When Remus pulled away, he nipped Sirius' lip for a couple of seconds, and then kissed his nose.
"Erm…" Joey went red.
It was he who had knocked, half and half supporting Benjamin.
"O, sorry. What's wrong?" Remus shifted a bit on Sirius' lap.
"The door of your parents' room is locked." Joey said.
"Right, could've figured. You guys take the bed, I'll find some mattresses, come on Sirri." Remus got up and dragged Sirius along with him.
--
"There have to be some in here" Remus looked around, currently standing in the attic, he looked around, found what he was looking for, and together with Sirius, took the mattresses to the bedroom.
--
When they came back Joey was asleep, and Benjamin was pretending to be. Benjamin lay near the door, and Remus and Sirius lay the mattresses next to the bed, next to Benjamin. Sirius lay on the mattress that was closest to Benjamin—he didn't like the idea of that freak being so close to his Remmi—and as soon as he was down, Remus crawled on top of him. Benjamin couldn't make out what they were saying, but he loved to watch Remus, then all of a sudden…
"I love you Sirri." Remus purred and let his head rest on Sirius' chest.
"I know Remus dear, I love you too." Sirius gave Remus a kiss, and carefully lay Remus down, so now he was on top.
Remus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, and brushed Sirius' legs with his feet. Sirius kissed Remus' neck, and Remus just held on to Sirius, kissing his shoulder.
"Sirri…" Remus turned over, finding himself on top again.
"What's wrong?" Sirius looked up, happy to see that Remus was smiling.
"I have to tell you something." Remus sat up straight.
Benjamin listened carefully and Sirius leaned on his elbows.
"What's that than?"
Remus stroked Sirius' cheek.
"I really meant that I love you." Remus whispered.
Sirius smiled and cupped Remus' face, brought it to his own and kissed Remus' soft lips.
"I meant it when I said I love you to Remus."
Remus laid his head on Sirius' chest, and they both fell asleep. Benjamin wasn't able to sleep until he imagined it was him lying under Remus.
--
When Remus woke up it was already noon, and there was a note on Sirius' empty pillow.
My dearest Moony,
I'm already up, didn't want to wake you, 'cause you're just to darn cute when you sleep. So I'm probably in the kitchen with Joey, he's nice.
All the love in the world,
Your Padfoot
Remus smiled and closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep again.
"Hi." A voice suddenly said.
The brunette quickly turned around and looked up. Benjamin was still lying in bed, on his side, looking at Remus.
"What do you want?" Remus looked at him in a mad sort of way.
"You had fun last night?" Benjamin asked.
"O please!" Remus turned around again.
He was almost back asleep, when someone started petting his arm. Remus turned in shock, it was Benjamin.
"Benjamin, leave me." Remus said.
"No."
"Fine." Remus got up, and went down.
Benjamin stayed behind, sighing.
--
When Benjamin opened the kitchen door a little bit, he could see Joey, Remus and Sirius. Remus was sitting on Sirius' lap, sleeping, with his head on Sirius' shoulder, and both of his legs on the same side of Sirius' body. Joey and Sirius where talking.
"How do you know Remus?" Joey asked.
"We go to school together. And well, it just… fitted I guess. I mean… we look a lot like each other. You may not get that, but it's the truth. He's just so great and all. I'm just lucky I guess." Sirius smiled and kissed Remus' forehead.
"How about you? Are you seeing anyone?" Sirius asked.
"Well," Joey looked at Sirius, and got red "until yesterday, I was seeing Boris. I broke up with him in the morning, Benjamin invited both of us at night… so… yah."
Joey sighed.
"With Boris?" Sirius looked as if he was going to be sick.
"We're not all as fortunate as you Sirius. Remus' one of a kind. He's amazing, and he deserves to be happy, whatever happiness may mean to him." Joey smiled, Remus moved, and Sirius went a bit white.
Remus was stroking his privet parts. Without knowing of course. But still, Sirius was getting a little hot.
"Erm… Sweety… wake up." Sirius shook Remus, but he just grunted, Joey gave him a strange look, and Sirius put up a fake smile.
"Remus dear… come on… wake up!"
Nothing. Sirius could feel something rising… not good.
"Remus!"
Sirius took Remus' hands and placed them on the table. Yah, and now he opened his eyes.
"What's…" Remus yawned, and Sirius bent forwards, whispering in Remus' ear: "let's wait 'till Joey's gone before we continue that."
Remus blinked, Sirius grinned, and Benjamin came in.
"Good morning." he said.
"Hi." Joey smiled a little bit, and Remus still looked confused.
Benjamin sat down in the chair next to Sirius'.
"Didn't you have a good night sleep?" he mocked.
"None of your business." Remus snuggled deeper into Sirius' neck.
Sirius petted Remus' back, and exchanged a look with Joey.
"Yah, so what did I do this time?"
"You know what I think Benjamin?" Remus said. Benjamin looked at him, curiosity spread all over his face. "I think that if you have enough strength to be a total arse, you probably also have enough strength to walk the two streets home…now!" Remus pointed at the door.
"Well maybe I will!" Benjamin snapped.
"Oh no Benjamin, there's no 'maybe' in that sentence! Go!" there was an angry glare in Remus' eyes, and they were about to shoot fire.
"Fine!" Benjamin's face went red as he got up, and walked out of the house.
"I'm sorry, but who knows what he'll do?" Joey said, and walked over to Remus and Sirius.
He gave Remus a kiss on his cheek, and offered Sirius a hand.
"It was nice talking to you Sirius. See you both later." he left too.
Remus sighed.
"Was I rude?"
"Only to Benjamin, and who cares about that? He's a bastard!"
Remus dropped his head on Sirius shoulder.
"Are you still tired?"
Remus closed his eyes and nodded.
"O, you poor thing. Come on, let's get you up."
Sirius lifted Remus and carried him upstairs. Remus would never be amazed by Sirius' strength, or his grace, and beauty. Remus dozed of soon enough. At first, he tried to stay awake, looking at Sirius, who was sitting next to him, and was looking outside the window. And at first, that was okay. Remus summed up (in his head) all the good things about Sirius.
'He's amazing,' Remus thought. 'His hair is so… perfect. And shinny and black. I've never seen hair like his, so dark. Like everything is light compared to his black hair. It's magic. And his eyes… his eyes are so…' Remus halted his thoughts.
How could he possibly describe Sirius' eyes? And all the things he saw in there? He would never be able to, and that kept him awake.
"Are you asleep?" Sirius whispered.
"Sort of." Remus yawned.
"What's keeping you up?"
"Nothing really…"
Remus turned around, still thinking about Sirius' eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Yah."
"Okay." Sirius went back to staring outside the window.
Not long after that Remus fell asleep, in his head still thinking about Sirius eyes.
--
"Are you sleeping?" Sirius asked.
No answer. Sirius let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He stretched and got up. He was in pain, serious pain. Lucius had torn him, it felt as if people had been kicking him all over his body. Sirius wouldn't tell Remus. He felt as if he had already been too much of a burden.
Sirius slowly walked over to the bathroom and locked the door. Then he wondered what he'd do next. He was planning on sitting on the floor first, but his backside felt as if it was on fire, so that wasn't a good idea. He walked over to the sink instead, splattered his face with some water, and looked in the mirror. It seemed so long ago that he had been standing in a bathroom at Hogwarts, gripping on to a sink, while Remus dropped to his knees and took care of every single inch of Sirius' broken body. It seemed so far away, but Sirius remembered it all as if it was yesterday. Every single drop of rain that touched his skin that night. And in the nights after that crucial one, even Remus couldn't stop him from having bad dreams about Lucius.
Sirius sighed and walked over to the door, he opened it and looked at Remus, who was having some sort of uneasy struggle.
"Sirius," Remus' hoarse voice whispered. Said man walked over to the bed, where Remus' amber eyes were staring at him drowsily. "What's wrong?"
"I needed to go to the loo," Sirius lied. "You still sleepy?"
"No." Remus sat up straight. "You wanna do something?" He asked.
"What?" Sirius sat down next to Remus.
"Je ne sais pas." Remus said.
"Okay… let's go down first."
Sirius got up and offered Remus a hand, but Remus didn't take it.
"I was just wondering, how's your back?"
"Erm…" Sirius frowned slightly—he was in pain. His back hurt, so did his arse. But he couldn't very well just say that.
"Come, lie down, I'll have a look."
Sirius took his shirt of, and lay down on his stomach, with his head turned, so Remus could give him a soft kiss.
"Is it that bad?" Sirius asked, as Remus kissed him again.
Remus said nothing, he knew Sirius was making fun. He sat carefully on Sirius' legs, and traced patterns on Sirius' back. There were little purple marks on it, and a couple of wounds that still hadn't healed.
"So?"
"It's… better. Does it still hurt?"
"A little. But…" Sirius didn't feel like telling Remus.
"What?" Remus asked, feeling the hesitation.
'No! You will not tell him your arse hurts!'
"Nothing." he said aloud.
"Sirius, tell me."
"No! It's nothing." Sirius said.
Remus got off Sirius' legs.
"Tell me."
'Don't!'
"I… no. Remus it's nothing."
Sirius' hand reached to pet Remus' face, but Remus pulled away.
"Tell me."
"It's okay Remus." Sirius looked at him, he looked hurt.
"It's not okay! Since when are we against the whole part where we tell each other stuff?"
"We're not…"
"Then tell me."
"Fine! My fucking arse hurts! That's it."
Sirius got up, and before Remus could even blink, he locked himself up in the bathroom again. Remus ran to the bathroom door, and knocked hard.
"Sirius, come out! You should've just told me!"
"No! Just get it! I don't want you to think I'm weak! I've always been… tough! I mean… come on! You wouldn't get it! What would James think if he saw me like this?"
On the other side of the door, Sirius sunk to the floor, not caring if his arse hurt or not, he started sobbing, but not too loud, he didn't need Remus to hear him.
"Sirius, honestly! James isn't here! And he'd get it! And even if he wouldn't… get over the pride part of this whole thing! You're hurt, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!"
Sirius turned and sat on his knees, he didn't know Remus was sitting at the other side of the door, in the exact same way.
Remus was right, of course he was, but that didn't make it easier.
"Sirius…" Remus could hear Sirius moving behind the door.
"Remus…" Sirius whispered, and placed his hands on the door.
How he wished he could get beyond all of this. All of the 'I need to be the one that's never sad, never suffers' because he knew, to Moony, that didn't matter.
"Sirius… open the door."
'No. You're crying. He can't know.'
There it was again, that voice. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, Remus couldn't know.
"Sirius, come on."
"I can't."
"Why the hell not?" Remus sounded upset. "Come on Sirius, just open the door, so I can see you." He whispered.
"Why would you want to?"
"Why would I want to? Sirius, you're perfect! Why wouldn't I want to see you? I love you!" Remus practically yelled at the door.
Sirius knew he meant it. He'd be able to come to Remus, his face red and swollen from crying, worn-out clothes, his hair a mess, and Remus would still love him. Sirius put his hand on the doorknob, on the other side of the door, Remus looked at it, it slowly moved, and the door opened.
Remus looked at the still, stunningly beautiful face of Sirius. He had cried, still was, but only a little bit. He noticed that Sirius was sitting in the same way he was, and it made him smile. Remus came closer, and whipped away Sirius' tears, after that, he pulled Sirius against him.
"My sweet, poor Sirius." He whispered, and Sirius continued sobbing.
He ignored the voice that was screaming that he should 'run! Run for your live!' and held on to Remus, who was whispering soothing words.
"Remus… I'm… sorry." Sirius whispered.
"What for?"
"Everything." Sirius said, and Remus helped him get up.
"Don't be," Remus and Sirius walked over to the bed, where Sirius sat down, Remus went to the bathroom again, and came back with a wet washcloth. "Come on, turn around."
So Sirius lay on his stomach again, and Remus cleaned his backside, as he had done before, caressing the purple marks, and every now and then, bended over to kiss Sirius as he flinched when Remus would hurt him. At the end of all the suffering, Remus lay next to Sirius, and they just talked. About everything and nothing. Things that might be relevant, but didn't really matter at that time. And after that Remus held Sirius, and rocked him, until he fell asleep.
--
"Moony…" Remus opened his eyes.
He had closed them after Sirius was safe in his arms, he wasn't really sleeping, just resting his eyes, ready to hurt whoever tried to hurt his sweet, beautiful Sirius.
Now he looked down at the older boy, still lying in his arms, but his eyes were also open, and he looked a little worried.
"What's wrong?" Remus softly stroked the hair from Sirius' face.
"What if he comes here?" Sirius whispered.
"Lucius? Why would he come here? To a muggle home, in a muggle street?" Remus stared into Sirius' eyes.
"It wouldn't surprise me—he's weird and dangerous that way. And I don't… he can't… come here… I wouldn't be able to ever forgive myself if he hurt you." Sirius whispered.
"Don't worry Sirius. He won't come here, and if he does, we'll deal with it then." Remus kissed Sirius' nose, and Sirius nodded drowsy-ish.
"Go back to sleep." Remus added, and again Sirius nodded.
He fell asleep again, staying in Remus' arms, feeling very safe. Remus also closed his eyes again, but he didn't sleep, he just thought, and dozed in peacefully, but he didn't really sleep.
"Moony…" Sirius whispered again.
Remus' eyes shot open, alerted once more.
"What's wrong?"
"I love you." Sirius said.
He lifted his head a little, and waited for Remus to kiss him. Remus, who wasn't one to let you down, bent over and kissed Sirius carefully.
"I love you too." Remus whispered, and Sirius smiled a little smile, then closed his eyes again.
--
When Remus opened his eyes again, he realised he had indeed been sleeping, no matter what he thought about 'just closing his eyes', and also, that Sirius wasn't next to him anymore.
"Sirius. Where are you?"
"Here." His voice came from right next to the bed.
Remus sat up straight, looked over the rim of the bed, and saw Sirius, on the floor, doing some sort of strange body-exercise.
"What are you doing?" Remus had to admit, he looked hot.
"Exercises… as you can… see." He sat up straight for a second, and continued.
"Yah sure, but why?"
"I'm hoping it'll… take the sore feeling… away."
"I don't want to be rude, but how are abdomen exercises gonna help you? Wouldn't it be better if I just give you an aspirin or something?" Remus got out of bed.
"That's okay Remmi. It'll pass. And, this way, I stay fit." Sirius sat up again, and pulled Remus on his lap—he was a bit sweaty.
"Like you need it." Remus said with a smile.
Sirius kissed him.
"You know, I think I wanna play chess again…" Sirius grinned. "You know, everything that's attached to it… but then… without the chess." Sirius' grin grew even wider as Remus smiled.
"We could do that." Remus whispered.
Sirius pushed Remus into the soft carpet and kissed him fiercely. Chess, without the chess.
AN: I hate this fic. And it hates me. So, overall, we've agreed to just hate each other. Ain't that nice? Sorry guys, but I didn't really reread properly... I just hate it so much—words do not exist for the hating of this fic! I could go on forever about everything that I hate about this fic—the clichés, the 'I love you's, but I'll spare you the nagging. Let it be said that Crazy4Moony hates her own fic, and that she wants to go back into the future and murder it before it came into existence—she is planning on using a rubber duck to accomplish this, but don't ask her why.
Chapter four turned out to be a very short one—six pages long or something, so I'll update immediately after three :)
