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He never thought he'd miss New York that much, his family, his friends. Three months and home already feel like a dream. On of the thing he misses the most his the food and especially coffee. He'd kill for a black coffee. Sometimes, he called his family but the time they could have on the phone or Skype was very short it was never enough. He had taken time to send mails to Steve, trying to keep contact with him. Every once in a while, he and the rest of the 107th still had good time. Every time they weren't on missions, they managed to play card or football and it usually ended with the boy accusing each other of cheating. That's actually why they are called the howling commandos. Bucky found in the army very good friends. He knew he could trust those dorks, at the base as well as on the field. He knew they wouldn't let him down just like he wouldn't let them. The mornings were rough, they were up before the sun, and they needed to do their bed, if it can be called a bed, dressed really quickly and then they had a sport session. Running around the base and then doing push ups just after awaking was the worst part of the day. Then, they eat breakfasts and drink coffee with a really bad taste and then they worked around the base or go on missions, it consisted in saving people on different small villages, arresting bad guys or stuff like that without getting caught or killed during the fight. For now, they haven't gone through bad stuff. Well...Until today. The Calmness couldn't last longer right ?

The 107th had been sent on a mission in a little village as usual, they had to prevent any bad stuff to happen. They amazingly failed. They fell in an ambush. Most of the inhabitants had been either killed or captured, and now was the turn of the howling commandos to be made prisoners. The place they were kept in, with other people, probably the souls of the village they've been taken was cold, moist and dark. They had been locked in cage. They were surcharged in those cold, metallic cells. Time to time a little big guy with a German accent who had absolutely not the face of a terrorist came and took one or two prisoners and they never came back, the only thing we heard from the cells were the screams. The other guards often use the prisoners as punching ball, and more than once Bucky stood up to take the hit for the others, he danced with death more than once, and most of his ribs were broken, and had too many wounds to count them. He will be marked for ever, physically and psychologically. He never thought being in the army would turn that bad. Every time he finally falls asleep, he sees his mother. God knows how much he misses her. If he had enough energy, he'd cry for her.

*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*.°.*

It's been nine months since they've been captured, None of them has been chosen to got in the room of hell. Well, until today, the German guy called Zola picked Bucky to be taken. Even though the rest of the team did their best to defend their friend but they were out of number, and they've just been beaten up. So Bucky was taken away and discovered what was doing to the former prisoner. They did experimentation on them. First they inspected Bucky, and start cutting his flesh, they electrocuted him and did many other awful stuff to him. The room smelled blood, and chemicals. Zola approached him with a needle full of who knows what and when the product ran into is veins it was burning. All his nerves where in alert, every part of his body was to painful, and screamed for it to stopped, he screamed, he begged, he cried but the mad doctors just looked at him with sadistic smiles on their faces and did not move. The Sargent collapsed because of the pain. He couldn't take it anymore, when he woke up begging death to take him, the pain was centered in his left arm but he couldn't see what happen. They were testing the limit of the human body and James was at the edge of it. Every thing was hazy, but he could hear gun shots, and the sound of what seemed to be a corps falling down. The US army was here to rescue them.

He didn't know what had happened next. He remembered waking up in a hospital in Germany in panic, not knowing what he was doing here, if he was safe, still in danger, dead or dreaming, with his mother next to him with a look full of tears and pity. Seeing Winifred calmed him down, and then the doctors came in. They announced the bad news, they had to amputate his left arm. How had he not noticed he was missing an arm ? He cried, he panicked, they had to sedated him because he was being dangerous to himself. His mother felt apart, crying fr his boys, and the doctors look at her with pity. His career was over, but it was the last of his problems.

When he woke up he, once again, didn't know where he was, and then finally remembered he had been rescued, and lost his left arm. Winifred was holding his right hand, she looked tired, sad, and had red eyes. She told him they would be back in America in two weeks, and the whole family was waiting for him. She talked about Steve, she had updated Steve on Bucky's condition since he had been captured. Steve had been so worried about his friend, he had cried for him, especially after knowing he had lost his arm. If he had been able to, he would have come to Germany to be here for his friend, but they had to be satisfied with just phone calls. They didn't speak much. Bucky did not have the heart to talk much, and he was easily tired and he also had to call his father and sister. Moreover, it was hard to find time when he wasn't to tired or having a panic attack. He was suffering from PTSD and would have to see a psychologist. He would have medication to take, and see doctors for a prosthetic.

The trip to New York had been exhausting, when he woke up, George, Rebecca, Steve and of course his mother who hadn't left him once were here next to him. And again, they all had tired and full of pity look on their faces. God knows he hated that look, and he knew for sure it would be one of the looks people would give him for the rest of his life now. Apart from their look, he was really happy to see them, even if it didn't show on his face. It was a relief to finally be home, after all the thing he had been through, it was freeing. He had been to hell and back. All the ordeals weren't completely over, and the pain would still be here, like a ghost on his body, but at least it won't be has bad as it was on that creepy lab where he had been rescued. Steve came closer with a sad smile.

« I thought you were dead. »

« I thought you were smaller »

Indeed, Steve had changed a lot since Bucky had left. The program he had followed as guinea pig for Stark industries had made him taller, and stronger. Only nine months had past and the change was obvious. When the visits were over, Steve had to face a bunch of journalists waiting for news of Bucky, and possibly from the rest of the howling commandos. They jumped on every doctors who were getting out of this place. Journalist are like Vulture, they are feeding of the pain and fear of family, making them live their hell over and over again. There is a limit between information and invasion of privacy which is very often cross. Steve found that disgusting. It should be forbidden. He leads back to his apartment where Natasha and Sam were watching a movie, they had settled together in a good apartment, it was good to have people and the three of them had become good friends. They listened to Steve complaining about our society, Bucky state and other stuff before they all hit the bed.