The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Chapter Two: Reminiscing – 1987 (6 years old)
Disclaimer: I don't own, and if you want more details about that, read the other chapters.
Warning: Mature content. For the young (like under 14) and the squeamish, this story is probably not for you. There is mention of non-con, child molestation, abuse, murder, criminal negligence, and all around evil-ness.
A/N: See bottom. Or my profile. Or other chapters.
Enjoy!
5 April 1987
Green, dew covered grass grows softly beneath my feet. Bare, my feet love the feeling of the plush grass beneath them. I am outside today, the fifth of April, because Daddy has a friend over and he doesn't want me around. It is times like now that I miss Mommy most.
Mommy died three years ago this June. I get sad because I know Daddy did it. But I can't tell those people at the police station, Daddy says, because I ain't got no "proofs". I don't know what "proofs" are, but I know Daddy killed Mommy because she was going to take me and leave Daddy.
Now, I hear Daddy and his friend playing upstairs together. I don't like Daddy's friend because he likes to look at me funny. Daddy's friend has a name, Säix, but he gets all happy and stuff when I use it. Daddy also has a name, Xemnas, but I get hit when I call him by his name. In fact, I get hit when I just talk to Daddy, or even if I look at him. Daddy doesn't like me much, and Mommy loved me too much.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Daddy and his friend coming out of the house towards me. They are far enough away so that I still have time to hide, but close enough that Daddy would see me run away. I know better than to run away from Daddy when he can see me. So, like the good little boy that I am, I stay put until Daddy and his friend get to where I am sitting.
Daddy's friend comes up to me first. He runs his long fingers through my silver hair, and he gets this look on his face that means he is really happy with me. Daddy is watching his friend play with my hair without saying anything. His friend looks over at him, and something is communicated without them using any words. Daddy nods his head before turning around and walking back towards the house. He calls over his shoulder, "Be a good boy, Riku!"
I know that Daddy meant that I should do whatever his friend tells me to do. I also know that I am not going to like what it is that he tells me to do. But, I am a good boy and will do what Daddy wants. Daddy's friend is looking at me with this "wanting" look, like the one I sometimes get when I see a piece of cake that I can't have. I am afraid of that look.
Daddy's friend smiles at me and asks, "Riku, will you please say my name today? I really like it when you do."
I really don't want to do it, but I know I have to. If I don't, Säix will get angry and "playtime" will be more painful than if I cooperate. To tell the truth, I don't like "playtime", but "playtime" with Säix is better than "playtime" with Daddy. Säix usually is nice and doesn't touch me rough like Daddy does.
Maybe I am weird or something, but when Säix and I have "playtime", I go someplace else in my head so I don't have to think about what he is doing to me. When it happens now, I don't know what Säix does to me, but the first time we had "playtime", I didn't know how to go someplace else.
Flashback
"Daddy…why did Mommy go away?" I said with a sniffle. Daddy looked at me with an evil sneer. I, even being three, could tell that Daddy hated me. Ever since Mommy went away, Daddy has looked at me like it was my fault. But I know that I didn't make Mommy go away.
But, back to Daddy. He said, with that nasty sneer, "Do you want to know why your bitch of a mother is gone, Riku? She's gone because she got what was coming to her. Your bitch of a mother can't take you away from me now, Riku." Daddy ended his explanation with a startling sweetness that made my name sound dirty.
Moving away from the chair in front of the fire, Daddy came towards me and knelt down in front of me, placing his large hands on my small shoulders. Daddy didn't usually show me affection, but I felt that that might change now that Mommy was gone. I love Mommy, but now that she's gone, Daddy is all that I have left.
About a week after Daddy showed the first signs of affection towards me, he introduced me to his friend, Säix. After that first meeting, I knew better than to call Säix by his name. So I started calling him Daddy's Friend.
Daddy's Friend came over a lot, and most of the time it was to talk to Daddy or do him "favors". But there were a few times that Daddy's Friend was only there to see me. Those were the days I tried to hide, but Daddy would always find me. And Daddy always punished me for running away.
Daddy's Friend was a bit more forgiving, but he punished me in his own way. The first time I ran away was the time he punished me by starting "playtime". When he told Daddy, Daddy was pleased and made me always let him punish me like that.
That was when I realized that Daddy didn't love me. That was when I realized that Daddy's Friend did. I was confused and upset. I thought it was supposed to be that your Daddy loved you most, next to Mommy. I didn't want Daddy's Friend to love me. At least not then.
End Flashback
I come out of my "someplace else" too soon and I know Säix isn't done with me. At first, I panic. I forget that I am supposed to be a good boy and be still, so I try to get free. I am crying, and I can tell that this startles Säix. I haven't acted this way since that first time. It is plain to see that Säix isn't certain about what is going on.
He pulls out of me and wraps my small, naked body in his warm, strong arms. I know now that Säix has never stopped loving me, all these years. I also know that, during those years I have known Säix, I have started to love him too. I don't know when it happened, but I know that it did.
For many minutes, my small body is wracked with sobs and trembles in Säix's arms. I wonder why I am crying—I never have before—but that is still a mystery to me. Säix pets my hair and whispers, "It's okay" in my ear. Slowly, I calm down, reveling in the affection I am getting and the love that I am feeling.
And then, just when my soul is starting to heal, Daddy comes out of the house and sees. He sees Säix holding me close and whispering in my ear. He sees me holding on to Säix for dear life. He sees the tears on my face and the scratches on Säix from my fingernails. Daddy sees everything. Daddy gets mad.
I am scared of Daddy now. He looks like he wants to kill me. He reaches out his hand to grab me by my hair, but Säix stops him. Säix tells him that it's okay. I didn't hurt him. I didn't do anything wrong. Instead of this making Daddy feel better and go away, this makes Daddy madder.
I can't stop what Daddy is doing. I can't move anymore. Daddy threw me away from Säix and now I can't move. I can't feel either. My body is numb. My mind is too. All I can do is see. I get to see Daddy hit Säix. I get to see Daddy pull out a gun. I get to see Daddy take Säix away from me. I get to see the kindness end. Daddy is happy. I am not.
All of a sudden the feeling comes rushing back to my body and I can feel. I don't want to, but I can. Pain, sorrow, nausea. I just want to close my eyes and make all of this go away. I do. I close my eyes tight, wait a few seconds, and then open them again. Daddy is still kneeling over Säix's lifeless body, but now he is crying a little bit. I don't think he knows that I can see him. He has never broken down in front of me before. I don't feel bad for Daddy though. I know that all of this is his fault. Everything is Daddy's fault because he is a bad man.
As I lie there on the ground, unable to move, and Daddy cries over Säix's body, sirens come close to the house. I know what sirens mean, so I am happy that they are coming. I hate Daddy now. I know that Daddy knows what sirens mean too, but Daddy doesn't seem to hear them. The police mean and ambulance people come tot eh back yard at a run, but Daddy never looks up. He has eyes only for his dead lover and mine. We shared Säix, and now he's dead, and maybe soon Daddy will be too. The ambulance people check Säix first, find out he's dead, and then come over to me. I want to run away—I'm still naked—but I still can't move. They check to see how bad I'm hurt, and then they put me on this hard bed thing, and take me to their ambulance.
Before I go I see the police take my daddy and put shiny bracelets on him. He is still only looking at Säix, but he isn't crying anymore. His face is stony, and I think he is dying inside. He loved Säix, probably more than Mommy, and then he killed him.
I start to feel sorry for Daddy. I'm sorry because Daddy is such a mean person. I'm sorry that Daddy kills people. And for once, I'm sorry that Daddy's gonna die. I don't know what's gonna happen now, but I hope it's better than in was.
A/N: So…please review and tell me how sad this was. Or even how not sad it was. Or, tell me if you thought that this was utter rubbish and I should go jump off a cliff and spare the world my horrible writing. Please, just review. I would love to see at least 5 reviews for this story so that I can update it for you. I have chapters that have been sitting here forever because I forgot about them. So, if you give me five reviews, then I will post the next chapter.
