Just to be clear Linde is not an OC. She's a character from Fire Emblem who I added in because I love her.
"I can't believe you." Linde mused as she took a drink out of her Slurpee. "You seriously traded in all of your freedom and liberty for a secret."
The two of them were in the food court, lazily drinking Slurpee's and having a chat. It had been about 4 hours since Roy had signed his contract with Peach, therefore agreeing to be her loyal servant for all eternity.
"Is there a problem?" Roy asked as he nervously took a drink as music began to play. "Come on. She's not going to take it seriously… wait a second. Why is a Taylor Swift song playing?"
All of a sudden three men in glittery pink tuxedos walked into the room, while carrying Peach on a huge pink boom box. She took off her sunglasses and smiled.
"HELLO THERE BITCHES!" Peach beamed as they walked her further into the room. "Now then, Lucy. Please get me some soda!"
"Alright." Lucina hissed. "But don't think I like any of this."
"Good girl!" Peach beamed. "Man, ordering someone to be your friend and making them act like it to the public is SO MUCH FUN! Now then. How are doing Roy? I'm FANTASTIC by the way. I just finished this AMAZING play called "The Skin of Our Teeth"."
"W-what are you doing here?" Roy asked.
"Visiting my new slave!" Peach beamed.
"Wow." Linde mused. "Shouldn't you have done this in…? I don't know… an area that isn't crowded with people?"
"Oh come on!" Peach smiled. "There all NPCs anyways! Besides, Master Hand will put me on mute, because everyone knows that he loves drama!"
"Isn't that risky to base it on a simple limb like that?" Linde asked. "I mean-"
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID WORE!" Peach cried as Lucina handed her the soda. "Anyways Roy, it's time to begin. And don't think I can't stop you. These people in the tuxedos? They're lawyers. I'll sue if you try to- OK that's it!" She turned 90 degrees.
P-PEACH? What are you doing?
"Quitting this stupid fanfiction." Peach hissed. "It's really dumb and poorly written. And why do we live in a mansion? Where did that even come from?"
Peach! Get back in character!
"Fine!" Peach snapped. "But don't think I like this stupid story one bit!"
PEACH!
"Ok!" Peach yelled. "I'll do it. Anyways you can't get out of this contract. It's enteral."
"Who were you just talking to?" Linde asked.
"The author." Peach smiled.
"What?" Lucina said. "I've heard you mention that name before-"
"Shut up dumbass!" Peach hissed. "Anyways. Stay with these losers, until I get back from my dressing room to recover. I hate this fic so much…"
"Alright." Lucina mused. She turned around to face Roy. "What have you done? Why did you sign that contract?"
"I-I-I had no choice!" Roy cried. "Why did you sign it?"
"She snuck it into our roommate agreement." Lucina said as she pulled out a flower from her pocket and began pulling the petals off. "But then again. Maybe it's for the best. I mean its girls like her, that the guys always fall for."
"What's going on…? OH! I get it!" Linde smiled as she snapped her fingers and a grin appeared on her face. "You're in love!"
"Yeah." Lucina sighed.
"How…how did it happen?" Roy asked.
"I don't know." Lucina admitted. "He tutored me a couple of times-"
"OH SO NOW THE AUTHOR IS TRYING TO IMPLY EVENTS THAT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED IN THE ORIGNAL!" Peach shouted as she ran back in. "I guess its ok to add in new material…"
PEACH! STOP INTERUPTING MY STORY!
"Fine." Peach mused. "But don't think I like any of this."
"I didn't fall in love at first but as time grew on…wait a second. Who are you?" Lucina asked.
"My name is Linde." Linde smiled. "I'm an intern who's visiting."
"Remember that dice roll we did to find the person who would guide them and show them around." Roy asked.
"Right!" Lucina mused. "You rolled the lowest number!"
"Unfortunately yes." Roy admitted.
"Wait a second…" Linde asked. "Did none of you guys even WANT to take me on?"
"Well…you'll never be in Smash so…" Roy muttered.
"So I'm not cool enough for you?" Linde asked. "Come on, we have some things in common, such as our devotion to our fathers and… oh forget it!"
"No one who's an intern is every going to be in Smash." Lucina said. "It's just an experiment."
"Oh so I'm just an experiment now?" Linde huffed. "Alright then."
"Anyways, guys tend to love the whole damsel in distress much more than the strong warrior." Lucina mused.
Roy frowned. "Lucina…you do realize everyone in Smash is full of strong warriors…and not so strong ones like Olimar, Wii Fit trainer…"
"Exactly" Lucina mused. "Not everyone here is strong. I just need to be a bit weaker."
"Are you seriously doing that for love?" Linde asked. "You just need to follow the 'be yourself' clique that always appears in movies and TV shows. And is this guy really worth it?"
"Well…" Lucina mused.
"ATTENTION EVERYONE!" Master Hand screamed over the loudspeakers. "I AM HERE TO DELIEVER A SEVERE WEATHER WARNING! NOW GO GET SUPPLIES! NOW! OR ELSE I'M MAKING EVERYONE WATCH THE EMOJI MOVIE!"
Everyone screamed in horror and ran away.
"And that's everything that happened." Roy sighed as he put the magazine back on the rack. "What do you think?"
"Wow." Pit mused. "But cheer up man. Could be worse."
"Right because I'm only now a mindless minion like those girls you see in every single Disney Channel movie who follows the popular girl around everywhere." Roy snapped.
"Oh come on. Where's you're since of fun? We're in the Oykot Grand Market! This place has EVERYTHING! Like this! " Pit smiled as he put on fake glasses and a fake mustache. "I'm a creepy old man who steals candy from babies and I'm going to get you…"
"Pathetic." Dark Pit muttered as he Shulk, and Marth stopped to stare. "Even Marth's better at comedy than you."
"WHA-Don't be mean!" Marth cried.
"What are you hosiers looking at?" Pit asked as he walked forwards. "I'm just your average everyday… GAH!"
All of a sudden Dark Pit pushed Pit and he crashed into Roy and the two landed on each together.
"Sorry." Pit said as he turned on his stomach, pressing Roy into the ground. "But don't blame me! It's all Pitoo's fault! Hasn't anyone taught you that bulling is wrong?"
"Bullying is wrong." Dark Pit agreed. "Unless if your target is a stupid angel who is always to cheerful and happy for his own good of course."
"WHA-GET OFF OF ME!" Roy cried as he began to blush.
"OMG!" Marth cried. "Is this going to be one of those Yaoi stories? I've heard about them but I've never…"
"No way." Dark Pit snorted as the two stood up. "Only a total idiot would…ACK!"
"Let's get out of here." Shulk yelled as he dragged both Dark Pit and Marth away by their collars. "You can laugh at them in private."
"But that ruins the fun!" Dark Pit cried.
"Ooooooohhhhhh is this what it feels like to be a vacuum cleaner!" Marth beamed. "Because it's FUN!"
"SHUT UP!" Dark Pit snapped as they were both carried away.
The play The Skin Of Our Teeth actually exists. I highly recommend it and it will become significant later. Also, as much as I love the idea of the Smash Mansion I would like to know it's origins. When did it start? If anyone knows please tell me!
