JJ handed her companion a large beer and sat down next to her.
"You're having those thoughts again."
"Actually, right now I'm more worried about making a fool out of myself onstage," Blake replied. JJ smiled and put a hand on her thigh, perhaps a bit daring in public, but she couldn't help herself. Blake wore a pair of black leather pants and JJ could not decide if she preferred them on… or off.
"You'll do fine," she murmured and moved her hand a bit upwards.
"…and now I'm most worried about not being able to restrain myself from jumping you in public," Blake commented in a half-choked voice. JJ snickered.
"I'm just testing your patience," she said softly. "And mine. The things I will do to you when we get back to my place…"
"Well, let's go then."
"No, no. Not until you sing one song. You promised. I haven't even heard you sing in the shower. I mean, everyone sings in the shower."
"I sing in the car?"
"No you don't, you just mumble the lyrics under your breath."
Blake couldn't help laughing. "And why is this so important?"
JJ leaned in to whisper in her ear; "Because your voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard and I want to hear everything you can do with it."
"Oh… well, I can hardly deny a request like that, can I?" she replied and got up from her seat. JJ leaned back and drank some beer while she watched her lover move through the (admittedly small) crowd. When a man stopped Blake halfway to the stage and said something to her, JJ's grip around the glass tightened. She felt possessive; not like she didn't trust Alex, but it seemed everyone around them was a potential threat. Man and woman.
Speaking of threats, neither Blake nor JJ noticed the blonde that just came in through the door.
It was Erin Strauss.
Blake shook her hair out of her face and took a deep breath. She didn't like being the centre of attention; she was content with watching from the side, but… what the hell. Her eyes sought out JJ's and JJ's smile gave her all the courage she needed.
She knew the lyrics and didn't need to watch the screen. She began tentatively but relaxed as she went along.
"Every now and then I get a little bit lonely,
and you're never coming around…"
JJ was thunderstruck and could not take her eyes off the brunette. Sexy voice, indeed, and adding the curves hidden within the leather pants she was more than attractive; she was hotness personified. I cannot believe I have worked alongside with her for so long without noticing, JJ thought. Although… if she was to be true to herself she had noticed her from the first day. Her eyes. Her smile. Her confidence. JJ had believed it was only that touch of hero worshipping - she should be too old for that, but sometimes it still reared its head. Perhaps it was the same thing that had gotten Blake into the affair with Strauss… but Blake wasn't JJ's boss. And this was genuine love.
Wasn't it?
As Blake finished the song and stepped off the stage, someone approached her from the side.
"I had no idea you could sing like that," Strauss said. Blake jumped at the unexpected voice next to her, and once she saw who it belonged to, her features grew stern and unapproachable.
"There are many things about me you don't know," she snapped. Though she knew a thing or two about Strauss, and now she took a good look at her. The blonde seemed to be sober, and that was a relief. Blake could not count all the times she had interfered in order to keep her boss/lover from drinking too much.
"I know. I messed up the chance to long ago. I just want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't regret it. I miss you, Alex. That's all."
Blake had no idea how to respond to this, so she kept silent. Strauss cleared her throat.
"Well. So… are you here with someone?"
"Uh…"
"Sorry, I don't mean to pry."
"I really must go, Erin. Good night."
"Good night."
Blake could feel her eyes upon her as she walked off, and that brought back memories of intense passion. Perhaps she wasn't entirely past it after all.
"Go to the car and wait for me there, don't ask, just do it," Blake hissed as she walked by their table, trying to look like she was merely passing by. JJ felt utterly perplexed, but she wasn't going to argue. She got up, grabbed her coat and left the beer - not without a touch of regret .
What the hell is happening?
JJ had been sitting in the car for almost ten minutes when Blake finally showed up, sat down in the passenger's seat and slammed the door shut.
"What's going on?"
"Drive."
"Alex, what the hell is going on!?"
"Drive!"
Instead, JJ took the keys out of the ignition and turned to face her lover.
"I'm not starting this car until you tell me what's going on. And don't yell at me." She sounded calm enough, but her heart was pounding with something akin to fear. Alex had never yelled at her before and she hoped this wasn't going to end up with a fight, because she wasn't sure she could take it right now.
Blake ran her fingers through her hair and made a visible effort to calm down.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I saw Strauss in there. Can we please go home?"
"Strauss?! What happened? Did she speak to you?"
Blake rolled her eyes and shrugged.
"You know, for a linguist, you're terrible at communicating," JJ said. She hadn't intended for her tone to be so bitter, but it was. And it was the tone rather than the words that hit Blake like a punch to the stomach.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're the word magician, why don't you tell me?" She was almost yelling herself now, and the fact that she couldn't keep calm annoyed her even further. "Damn it Alex, I just want to know what's going on so I can understand, because frankly, right now you're not making any sense at all."
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
It was JJ's turn to roll her eyes.
"That's what you say whenever things get uncomfortable, isn't it? And I respect that, I don't want to push you, but I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps you need to be a little pushed to move at all."
With that, JJ started the car and turned out on the road. She wasn't sure if she was angry, disappointed, sad or all of the above, but she knew one thing; she didn't feel like talking to Alex Blake any more right now.
It was clearly mutual, as the silence grew between them. Blake reached out a hand and turned on the radio. She then stared out through the window and pretended she was anywhere but here. She knew JJ was right; she was terrible at communicating, but she had no idea how to put into words the conflicting emotions she struggled with. It was never like this with Erin, she caught herself thinking. The immediate answer that popped up was No, because she didn't care about what you were thinking or feeling.
"Will you drop me off at home?" she finally said. "I don't think it's a good idea we spend the night together right now."
"I agree."
After dropping her off, JJ briefly pondered going back to the pub and have another beer just to spite her, but decided against it. She just wanted to go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. Maybe tomorrow would be better, but she already worried about meeting Alex at work; it had never been awkward before, but it was bound to be this time.
Damn Strauss.
Damn Alex.
A/N
I actually do have a thing for her voice; deep and low-pitched and with just a tiny hint of a rasp. Gah! And yes, I could totally see her in leather pants. God bless my dirty imagination. ^^
Back on a serious track now; tension breeds quarrel and vice versa, and emotions are always hard to explain… even to yourself. And that's all I can say about this chapter. Review if you like. ;)
