HEY! So, I plan on updating all my stories more frequently.. no promises because I get so easily distracted... :/ SORRY! BUT I've finished this story aren't you proud?:D Also, I'm going to start working on Doctor Batman and I'm going to start really working on my whole new story which will NOT be a batman comic, sadly. Check out my page for a little sneak peak of the new story, it's going to be a Percy Jackson/Supernatural crossover:)
Anywho, enjoy, my lovelies!
"What happened to the Flash?" Dick asked aloud as darkness fell outside.
The Batfamily was sitting in the camping section of WalMart inside a giant tent that was on display. Batman had insisted on getting the black tent because what kind of batclan would they be if they didn't get the black one?
Tim was hiding behind Alfred hoping that the butler would keep him from being killed by Jason or Batman. Alfred sat between Batman and Jason trying to keep the two from murdering each other. Dick was sitting as far from Jason and Batman as he could, cradling his cape in his arms like a baby. Just outside the tent was Damian lying face down still trying to come to terms with the idea of Dick being one of his fathers.
Batman threw a batarang at Dick for his stupid question. "He made fun of my cowl; so, I had him banned from WalMart for life. The jerk. BUT it's okay! Because I found a new chaperone and this one likes my cowl!"
The Joker stepped through the flap of the tent and Dick tackle hugged him.
"DADDY!" he exclaimed at the same time that the Joker backhanded him with a crowbar.
"Hello, Honeybunch!" Joker said as he hugged Batman. "I really have missed you, my love. I told you that Flash didn't appreciate you like I do."
The Batman just grumbled something about the Flash being a stupid potato.
Jason clung tightly to his rainbow colored crowbar that he had affectionately named Balder as he stared suspiciously at the Joker.
Alfred let out an exasperated sigh. With Batman constantly wanting to kill one of the robins, Jason wanting to murder every smiling face, and the Joker's homicidal tendencies, how was Alfred supposed to keep everything clean and blood free?
Little Timmy stared up silently at the Joker, fascinated by the maniac.
As Dick started to stand up to hug the Joker again, the Joker sat in Batman's lap to dodge the hug. "Have you been telling stories again, snookums? You know I'm only Jason's daddy! Look how great our little anti-hero turned out, too!" the Joker said with an evil laugh and nod towards Jason. "Superman is that boring, pretty boy's mommy."
"I know Supes is my mommy," Dick said rolling his eyes. "But I see you so much more, can't you be my dad?"
"Well, I did beat you with a crowbar and that is the initiation ritual for our family," Joker thought aloud. "Very well, but don't disappoint mommy and me."
"Can we play a game? Like truth or dare?" Damian asked blandly. He had poked his head into the tent but still laid face down.
The Joker clapped his hands in excitement and gave a maniacal laugh. "Me first! Batman, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to kill your least favorite child here with this," the Joker giggled as he pulled out his own favorite crowbar, Harleen.
Alfred groaned as Batman swiftly bludgeoned poor little Timmy to death. Wonder how long it will take him to come back to life, Alfred thought, probably a couple days, he always returns faster than the rest.
"Bat-truth or bat-dare, Alfred," Batman asked.
"Bat-truth, please, sir."
Before he could reply, Timmy came running through the tent, trampling Damian in the process.
"Mr. The Batman! I may have accidentally broken reality when I came back to life!" he shouted as he cowered in the corner. Outside the tent there were loud crashes and explosions. "Well, actually Superboy was there and he punched reality in the face, like Superman did that one time..."
"YOU KNAVE!" Batman shouted. "Now the universe is going to reset!"
Alfred sighed as he began preparing everyone for the end of the universe and the beginning of the next.
And this is how the New 52 Universe of DC came about. You can blame Timmy for it. It's always his fault, obviously.
Okay, so next time I realize that I won't be updating for a while (like a whole year) I will make sure to inform all of you that the stories are on hiatus! But I'm back now so please review!:)
