Ranma Anecdotes
By YunCyn
Disclaimer: Claiming ownership over a guy who turns into a girl with four girls after him, more than four guys trying to kill him, has a panda for a father and seems to have some sort of foot-in-mouth disease when it comes to talking to his main fiancé is slightly overrated if you put it all in one sentence like that.
Anecdote Three: Don't You Wish It Were As Simple As This?
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"POPS!! What the hell-?!"
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Genma Saotome, sporting a black eye, dragged his protesting, kicking, screaming son by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the door to a closet and tossed a struggling, Chestnuts Roasting Over Open Fire-ing Ranma inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out.
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Two minutes later…
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"OJISAN!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!!"
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Genma Saotome, now sporting two black eyes, dragged his squealing, kicking, protesting future daughter in law by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed a screaming, struggling Akane inside. Slamming the door shut again, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Five minutes later…
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"STUPID PANDA MAN!! LET GO!!"
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Genma Saotome, now nursing two black eyes and a swollen lip, dragged a punching, squalling, kicking Chinese girl by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door again and tossed the yelling, struggling Shampoo inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Ten minutes later…
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"OI!! WHERE'RE YOU TAKING ME?! HANASE!!"
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Genma Saotome, now sporting two black eyes, a swollen lip and a sprained ankle, dragged a spatula waving, kicking, yelling okonomiyaki chef by the back of her collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, protesting Ukyo inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Fifteen minutes later…
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"GET YOUR FILTHY COMMON HANDS OFF ME!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"
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Genma Saotome, now making two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle and a now bruised windpipe, dragged a ribbon waving, shrieking, kicking gymnast by the back of her leotard collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the writhing, struggling Kodachi inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Twenty minutes later…
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"LEGGO OF ME BAKAYARO!! OR YOU'LL BE SORRY-"
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Genma Saotome, with two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle, a bruised windpipe and now a bleeding cut on his face as a result of his broken glasses, dragged a kicking, punching, screaming master of hidden weapons by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, squawking Mousse inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Twenty-five minutes later…
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"REMOVE THINE HANDS FROM MY EXPENSIVE, SILK CLOTHES!! OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES-"
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Genma Saotome, model of the two black eyes, swollen lip, sprained ankle, bruised windpipe, bleeding cut on face and very cracked skull look, dragged a bokken waving, kicking, title yelling kendoist by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, insane Kuno inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it and went out. Again.
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Three days later…
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"WHY'D YOU DRAG ME ALL THE WAY FROM TAIWAN, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!! OI!!"
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Genma Saotome, the injury count now being two black eyes, a swollen lip, a sprained ankle, a bruised windpipe, one bleeding gash on his face, a cracked skull and a now very achy feet, abdomen and bruised body, dragged a screeching, kicking, protesting lost boy by the back of his collar in one hand. With the other, he opened the closet door and tossed the struggling, Bokusai Tenketsu-ing Ryoga inside. Slamming the door shut, he locked it.
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Amidst the furious and ferocious poundings on the door, screeches, squawks, squalls, protests, threats, screams, shrieks, yells and other miscellaneous outcries of pure, unadulterated rage, Genma Saotome slumped against a wall and called out to the now very full and shaking closet.
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"Work it out!"
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End.
A/N: Inspired by "The Angry Beavers". Good old Daggett...
