Disclaimer: I deny any/ all possession of all characters featured in this segment. I rent them.
I'm sorry about the previous chapter, everyone. I got that from eating a sandwich with, what else, boloney in it. Isn't it amazing, where our daily sources of brainstorms originate?
Hey, Anime's Echo! I wouldn't call this disturbing, really. To me, it's more like "adding some character into romance, in my style".
And maybe you wouldn't chase old Zane up a tree, Kaiseress. But I probably would. If he hates me, what can I do? Boys are scared of me...
PART III
The bologna-breast idea went as well as expected: not long after that, poor old Atticus was sentenced to two weeks of detention, via paying off all the meat he nicked from Miss Dorothy's inventory (where do you think he got all that bologna in the first place?). And it was all thanks to dear Lexi, who had the curtesy to squeal on him at the first chance she had.
Let's rejoin him, shall we? At the moment, he was finishing off his duties by dusting the shelves that displayed one of the shop's staple products: cards. He had tied on a royal purple apron around his waist for the occasion, laced with silk. Well, he figured that he was being forced to cut out his precious surfing time at the beach to do time, the least he could do was look fashionable. Go figure...
Okay, so maybe having breasts doesn't always fly, he thought shamefully. Now I'll bet Zane won't let me go anywhere near him. Damn it! It appeared that Lex had won this round.
"All right, Mr. Rhodes, you're done for the day," the old woman ambled up behind him. Atticus turned his head to face Miss Dorothy. The disgruntled expression on her round, wrinkly face told him that she had yet to forgive him for the theft and misuse of her lunch meat. "You make like a deck of cards and shuffle off now."
He bowed his head in return. "Y-Yeah, sure, thank you, Miss D." Off he slunk, his head scrunched into his neck. As he entered the outside, he let the door slam behind him.
Atticus tapped his chin. Constructing breasts of his own had probably not been one of his best ideas. That had gone about as well as the time he sang "I'm Too Sexy" for his fan ladies. They almost tore him limb from limb...even if it was "out of affection".
But that was the only visible difference between himself and his sister; or was he missing something more?
Suddenly, he paused. It was either his imagination, or he could just distinctly detect coarse, rusty harmonica notes wafting through the air. They were almost too unbearable to listen to, like fingernails being scratched against the blackboard that was his mind.
Atticus cupped his hands over his ears. "Oh my frigging-my poor ears! My poor, musical, good-looking ears! Make it stop!"
It was at that moment when Chazz Princeton entered the scene, battered, black coat trailing behind him and small, chrome instrument at his lips. With his cheeks puffed out, he huffed into it, pausing to chant in between:
"I hate you guys!"
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
"You guys are all assholes!"
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
"Oh, 'specially Jaden!"
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
"I hate him the most!"
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
"Oh, and Zane, too!"
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
"He thinks he's so hot-"
That was enough for him to uncover his ears. "Hey, shut up, Chazz!" the lovelorn one shouted, fists clenched at his sides. "He's certainly NOT an asshole!" Well, how dare he! Nobody had the right to defile Zane's name like that, that Princeton was no exception!
Of course, Chazz stopped dead, just three feet away, the harmonica in his own fists. "Oh, like you can play the dang harmonica any better!"
"Duuuuh, of course I could! But what I said was, don't call Zane an asshole! Because he's far from that!" With that, Atticus could have sworn the blood in his veins was boiling right through his vessels, almost like sulfur.
The Slifer rebel gave a snort. "Okay, I know you and he are buds and all, but this is a free country! I can call 'im whatever I please!"
By this time, Rhodes was about prepared to deliver a good blow to that jerkwad's eye. But he had to grab his clenched fist with the other hand, while his face was becoming increasingly flushed.
"Well, I-I'd 'preciate it if you didn't do that, thank you!"
"Say, you're still in trouble for the boloney thing?"
"What? Who told you about that?"
"Atticus, please! A popular guy like you can do something no one will ever know about?" Actually, Chazz gained knowledge of the incident from his beloved Alexis, whom he had been secretly spying on the whole time, as he did on a regular basis. " 'Sides that, I heard you did it to Zane, too."
Though it was useless, Atticus defended himself with denial: "Did not!"
Chazz could only smirk. "Sure, you didn't. Are you guys really buds, or is there something, oh say...more intimate going on?"
Oh, snap! Was Chazz becoming on to him? Retreat, retreat!
"Ah, that reminds me! I-I'm late for an important...uh, um, thing! Yeah! A very important thing! I better split! L-later, Princeton!"
With that, our hero kicked into full-throttle and took off like a Rocket Warrior, the apron still around his waist, and looking more flustered than Syrus at a field exam.
As he made the hasty retreat, Chazz watched him, his two charcoal eyes gleaming with suspicion...and perhaps something more. That Atticus had to be one of the squirreliest students of this whole danged island, besides Jaden, of course. But was it only him, or was Rhodes acting a smidge squirrelier than usual? After all, it wasn't every day that a guy stuffed his shirt with lunch meat and tried to get cozy with their own best friend...
Unless...
"Something's going on between him and Zane, or my name ain't the Chazz. This, I gotta check out..."
That very night, Atticus lay on his bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He hadn't bothered to change into pajamas; right now, sleep was next to impossible. By the window, the curtains were left un-drawn, releasing starlight to flood the entire room.
His anxious thoughts kept him awake, buzzing around in his skull like angry bees.
Man, Chazz almost caught on! Gotta watch out for that kid, he's crafty. I can't let anyone know yet...not until I tell Zane first.
Aww, but I had to go and screw that up! Now I'll bet he's upset...and he's still with Lexi.
Though technically all that she had done was tell on him to Miss Dorothy when she caught him with Zane, Atticus still couldn't help but feel...resentment. Towards her. Of course, that only piled onto the guilt, the frustration. No one should hate their sister, even if they are hogging your best friend's attention. Even if they could be a romantic rival.
He sat up in bed, pinching the spot between his eyes. "No! They can't be involved with each other yet! Not in that way, at least!
"Ohhh, but what if they are? What if they started gettin' intimate after I got kidnapped?? But then they would've said something to me...right? Right?? Or am I being played?"
It wasn't long before he began to tug out his proud, rich hair. He could only imagine how stupid he might have looked right now; he certainly felt that stupid. Never, in his whole sixteen years of age, had he felt this frenzied over anyone...not even a girl.
Suddenly, without knowing exactly why, Atticus sprang up onto his knees. He leaned his head against the wall, his ear pressed tightly against it. It just so happened that dear old Zane was next door, returned from his nightly trip to that lighthouse...with Alexis. Was he in bed right now?
I don't know if it was only his romantically overcharged imagination, but either way, Atticus thought he could hear his soft, even breath drifting between one side into his ear. It was enough for make him shut his eyes, and create an image in his head, of Zane stripping himself of his uniform. Thinking about what his well-built chest and his lean, scuplted arms looked like under his jacket, was making him drool from one corner of his lip.
Oh, fantasizing wasn't enough for Atticus. His philosohy had always been: why dream about it, when you can see the real deal for yourself?
And that's exactly what he did. Deviously, he slunk off his bed and tiptoed to the door. Taking extra care to shut it noiselessly behind him, he crept three feet to the door on the left, light spilling from under it. All he had to do was get down on his knees...and peep into the knob's keyhole.
From where he was watching, there wasn't too much to see. Not that it mattered: even just the teensiest glimpse of the Kaiser removing his jacket was a turn-on! His back was against the door, with his arms across his chest, as though undoing a button.
Rhodes swore that he was breaking out into a fever, from his crown to the toenails...while the heat accumulated particularly in the "unmentionable area". How fair was this, to be the temptor for the ladies by the beach at day, only to become the tempted by night? And by your own best friend, at that??
Shoot, now he's showing me the side. Tugging at his collar, Atticus twisted his neck for another perspective, just to see if he could check out his chest. Zane had hung up the old jacket and was now peeling off the black undershirt, revealing his bare, toned chest.
Zane was only naked from the waist up, and it had already become too much, though paradoxically, it was far from enough. As the viewer reached down to place a hand over his "unmentionable area", his voice box twitched spastically. Out from his throat came a queer combination of a gulp, a gurgle, and a groan.
Oh, damn it! Atticus stopped to cup his hands over his mouth. Curse his big, fat mouth! Had Zane heard him?? Oh, and was about to shed his pants, too! He had his hands on them and everything!
Unfortunately, Zane had indeed heard the queer noise. Freezing, he turned to stare into the doorknob.
Atticus shoved himself away, fraught with panic. Oh man, I think he saw my eyeball! Retreat, reatreat!
He could distinctly hear the footsteps of Truesdale reaching for the knob.
"Hide, hide, I gotta hide! C'mon, Att, think! Where??" he whispered in exasperation. "Oh, wait..."
Sure enough, Zane set one foot across the doorway, a can of mace ready in one hand. After all, this had not been the first time someone dared to spy him undressing. Just last week, a crazed bug-eyed fangirl by the name of Missy had tried to do it...again.
"Hello? Missy? That better not be you; I have mace," he called out, soft but firm.
Where had our foolish, voyeuristic hero go? Simple: he clambored to the right side of his own door, back pressed against the wall and arms stiff at his sides...with a lampshade over his head. Hey, it always worked in cartoons! Why not here?
Beads of perspiration rolled down his forehead and off the bridge of his nose, adhesing the shade to his face. Sucking in his lips, he held his breath as Zane took one more step forward.
He paused.
"She's not out here...better check the windows."
Sparing one last, searching glance up and down the hallway, he disappeared, as swiftly as he had appeared. Once the door was shut behind him, Atticus sunk to his knees.
"Phew! That was a little too close...I really need to quit doing that. He's bound to catch me one of these days...but, can you blame me? Heh, better get back to bed before Zane comes back out for a double-take. Now, if only I can get this shade off..."
But no matter how forceful he tugged, the shade stayed in place, refusing to become dislodged. Stumbling to his feet, Atticus continued to tug with one hand, while he blindly fumbled with his own doorknob. As he swung it open:
"Aww, c'mon, stupid- get off my head, why don't-"
WHAM!
Before he knew it, he found himself face down on the floor, a sharp painful throb in his thigh from having stumbled over his vanity.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Okay, I'll confess that Chazz's chant was something I picked up on YouTube, something on South Park and GX combined.
Shoot, now old Atticus is voyeur? How low have I sunken, I ask you? And at this point, even I can't tell if this is love, or just lust. On the borderline, maybe?
Wonder if I must change the rating of this fiction?
