Cosmo: Hey, where's the author's note?

Wanda: I guess she decided not to put one in this chapter.

Cosmo: ::panics:: What?! But that's craziness! Craziness I tell you! They'll riot in the streets!!

Wanda: Calm down Cosmo I'm sure she'll stick one in the next chapter.

Cosmo: ::lower lip quivers:: But I want one now!!

Wanda: ::sigh:: Alright sweetie, here ya go.

POOF!

A/N: Blah blah blah...thanks for reviewing...blah blah blah...lol...enjoy the story!

Wanda: Happy now?

Cosmo: You forgot the smiley face.

POOF!

HAPPY!

P.S.- :-)

Cosmo: Much better.

Behind the Musician

Chapter Three: Farewell to Wackadoo

Weeks dragged by since Vicky's one and only encounter with Chip Skylark while on the job. With every passing day she was growing sicker of her demanding job of pampering the star. Not a second went by that she didn't consider ripping off the shades, slamming the cell phone on the table, and telling every dolt within earshot where they could shove this job.

"Dear Chip,

You are the greatest musician that has ever lived. I worship the ground you walk on and eat my Chip-Os every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm really looking forward to the release of your new music video 'Just One Me'. May I have please have a wad of your gum to preserve in the display case I've built? It will go perfect with that napkin I rescued from the trash that time you stopped by Mega Burger on your last tour.

Your Ever Devoted Servant,

Mimi Clutterstaff"

Vicky wadded up the disturbing fan letter and began typing up a reply that she felt suited the recipient.

"Dear Mimi,

Thanks for eating my cereal, watching my music videos, and basically devoting every waking hour of your meaningless existence to worshiping me. Stay in school and out of the trashcans.

The Guy You Idolize,

Chip Skylark

P.S.-I am enclosing the wad of gum you requested."

Smirking Vicky pulled out the gum she'd been chewing and stuffed it into the envelope with the response. "I wonder if this whack job will try to run a DNA test on that gum."

But to her dismay the second she finished with the oversized mail sack full of letters to Skylark in came what couldn't have been less than half the local post office staff carting in several more bags.

With a loud moan she slammed her head down on the keyboard.

"You've got mail." came the automatic announcement.


Three hours later...

"Ms. Vicky!" Ms. Taupe shouted causing the pink eyed teen to choke on her sub.

"Wh-what is it Ms. Taupe?" she coughed out.

Ms. Taupe glared down at her as if she had no right to be eating on her lunch break. "Mr. Skylark will be down for his interview with the Dimmsdale reporter any minute!"

So?! Vicky didn't dare vocalize her annoyance. Ms. Taupe wasn't someone who enjoyed being questioned.

"He specifically requested that his prized gold medallion be polished so that he could wear it during the interview." she continued.

He's got two hands, Vicky noted sourly, let him polish it himself.

But the 'get busy' look in Ms. Taupe's eyes told Vicky that she would be the one stuck doing the polishing. Sighing she took off towards Chip's dressing room to find the stupid medallion.

She found it sitting atop a velvet cushion which—of all the ridiculous things—rested on the top of a marble pedestal. "This guy is way too attached to that thing." she grunted, apparently Chip had a certain tradition for handling every little task he did during the day. For music videos or everyday stress relief he went into the bathroom and listened to the 'soothing' sounds of the toilet flushing. For personal appearances and autograph signings he spent at least a half in front of the mirror brushing and flossing his teeth, each one getting an even amount of strokes, toothpaste, and mouthwash. And for interviews and other major events he always wore his lucky gold medallion.

"Celebrities sure can be weird." she muttered while polishing the treasured possession.

Fifteen minutes and a little elbow grease later the medallion was spotless and so shiny that you could see yourself in it. Vicky, however, did not like what she saw.

"Man, I look miserable." she noted while staring at her scowling reflection.

"Hey, my medallion!" Chip beamed as he came skidding into the room.

"You're welcome." Vicky grunted as she handed the 'lucky' trinket over.

Chip wasted no time in throwing the chain over his head and positioning it just right. Even Vicky had to admit, it certainly pulled his whole look together and made him look...well...even more dreamy.

She quickly shook her head to clear the mental image of Chip being a flawless dreamboat. She wasn't one of his mindless fan girls, not anymore.

Satisfied with his appearance now he looked over at the personal assistant he'd shared all of two brief conversations with. "Hey tha-"

"Five minutes first rate teen singing sensation Mr. Skylark," an orange haired stagehand announced from the doorway.

Remaining motionless for a moment Chip finally exhaled and headed out the door. The routine was admittedly starting to grow quite mundane.

When he was gone Vicky crossed her arms and glared after him, "Ingrate."

From the television hanging on its stand in the corner she could see the channel seven evening news begin.

"This is Chet Ubetcha," the short newscaster said as the camera zoomed out to reveal his companion, "coming to you live from the Cellebra Grand Hotel with universally loved teen pop singer Chip Skylark!"

Vicky stuck her finger in her mouth and made a gagging sound.

"Thanks Chet," Chip grinned, "yeah it's been a fun couple of weeks hanging out here at the Cellebra Grand Hotel. I especially enjoyed the staff allowing us to shoot my new music video in their spacious lobby."

Proceeding his statement Chip did his trademark moves that looked more like a series of sudden spasm to Vicky.

"So with your stay at the hotel coming to an end are you prepared to begin your summer long concert tour?" the small stature reporter asked.

"You know it," Chip winked (and mini-spasmed), "and the first stop is the home of my good buddy Timmy Turner. Dimmsdale!"

"This is Chet Ubetcha saying...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR DIMMSDALE?!" the reporter freaked, "STORM THE BOX OFFICE! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!"

And with that they went to a commercial while members of the news crew tried to pry the newscaster off the camera.

Rolling her eyes Vicky got up from the fold out director-style chair she'd been sitting in. Honestly, she was getting fed up with all of this.

"Grr...I'm getting fed up with all of this!" she seethed, "Every day I'm stuck running errands for that needy teenage brat while he sits back and gets praised and showered with gifts! It's not fair! The money may be good but it's all going straight to paying bills. At this rate I'll never have any time to babysit and my savings account will dry up!"

"Ms. Vicky!"

Groaning and clenching her fists the pink eyed teen turned around to face yet another angry voice. "Yes Mr. Platinum?"

"You were sent out earlier this week to pick up a dozen of Chip Skylark's favorite strawberry cream filled doughnuts were you not?" he demanded.

"Y-yes," she answered hesitantly.

"And yet the doughnuts you brought back were covered in sprinkles, am I correct?"

"Yeah, so? That's all they had," she shrugged.

Tony's left eyebrow twitched a little above the rim of his shades, "Do you know why we insist that all his sugary snacks be absolutely sprinkle free?"

"No."

Whipping a magazine out of the fold of his jacket Tony shoved a toothpaste ad in her face. On it was a picture of Chip Skylark flashing his shiny teeth smile. But nothing seemed wrong with the picture. As far as Vicky could tell everything was just fine.

"Just look at it!" Tony exclaimed clearly infuriated by something in the photograph.

"Um..." Vicky stared at the ad a few minutes longer before confessing, "...I don't really see anything wrong with it Mr. Platinum."

Grinding his cosmetically whitened teeth together the manager produced a magnifying glass from the other fold of his jacket and held it up in front of the sparkly smile.

Vicky leaned in closer and started to squint.

"There!" he yelled, "Right between the back molars on the top row, right side."

After a great deal of effort she could just barely make out a tiny blue speck caught in between the teeth. She wanted to smack the goof ball upside his head for freaking out over such an entirely unnoticeable flaw.

"A sprinkle?" she inquired.

"A SPRINKLE!" Tony shouted as if the end of the world had arrived. "Chip Skylark is known for his sparkly white smile. What do you think will happen if someone notices a sprinkle caught between his back teeth?! And in a toothpaste ad no less!"

"Um...that he's been eating cream filled doughnuts with sprinkles?" she guessed still not seeing what the big deal was.

Slapping a hand to his forehead Tony lost what little patience he had. "Do you realize that you may have just caused permanent damage to Chip Skylark's image?!"

"Over a stupid little sprinkle?!" she burst out.

"You simpleton," Tony snapped, "you obviously don't know anything about stardom! Why'd I even bother hiring you in the first place?!"

"Okay, that does it!" Vicky exploded, "I'm tired of being bossed around by a bunch of rich jerks in bad suits! I've had it with running all these dumb errands! And if I never see another fan letter addressed to Chip Skylark again...it'll be too soon!"

Tony's brow furrowed as he regarded the red faced teenager, "Talk like that young lady is a good way to get yourself fired."

"Fired?!" Vicky scoffed, "HA! Find yourself some other brat pampering babysitter to run errands for your precious meal ticket, because I QUIT!"

And the words were out of her mouth before she could even think to stop them. Once again her nasty temper had gone and gotten her in way over her head. How was she supposed to help support her family now?

Oh never mind! she told herself as she marched out into the hall and headed straight for the revolving doors, Anything's better than working for Chip Do-For-Me and his overpriced nanny Tony Gold-digger.

"That's just fine missy!" a voice that was unmistakably Tony's called after her, "You can considered your contract shredded!"

Fuming Vicky stormed out into the parking lot where the object of her aggravation was surrounded by a hoard of screaming fans.

Where's a brick when you need one? she thought maliciously.

Not willing to add being thrown into jail to her list of things that went horribly wrong today Vicky bypassed Chip entirely and got on the bus which had just arrived. Never in her life had she been more ready to return home, and stay there!


Later that evening Vicky still hadn't broken the news to her parents. Her mom was working overtime and her father was off at one of the few temp jobs he'd managed to find. Those never lasted more than a couple of weeks and the pay was often terrible.

Tootie sat in the living room watching television since school had let out for the summer. Vicky was back at the kitchen table flipping through the want-ads. The sooner she had a new job the sooner she could put the misery of the old job behind her.

She'd just finished reading over the first column without any luck when a familiar voice drifted through the air with its angelic tone.

Went walking through

The mall last Thursday

Had a whole flock of posers

In my way

Seems they don't understand

They're just imitatin'

Seeking popularity

Through constant duplicatin'.

Oh they wish they could be

But it's just a fantasy

Cause there's just one me!

Cruisin' down the boulevard

In my hot new car

Man it just ain't easy

Being music's biggest star.

Look to my left

Then turn to my right

All around the fans they crowd

Dressed so we look just alike.

Oh they wish they could be

But it's just a fantasy

Cause there's just one me!

Just be happy with yourself

And try to see

There's no cooler trend

Than individuality!

Oh they all want to be

(Like me! Like me!)

But it's just a fantasy!

(Fan-ta-sy!)

Cause there's just one

(Just one! Just one! Just one!)

Oh yeah!

Stand true, think new

Do what ya gotta do

Cause when it's all through

You'll still be you

Wake up from the fantasy

I said there's just one me!

Tootie looked up when a recognizable sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Gulping she noted that Vicky had stormed into the room. Tootie shivered as her big sister towered over her, her shadow cast upon the petrified twelve-year-old.

Breathing so hard and deep that you'd swear puffs of smoke wear coming out her flared nostrils Vicky snatched up the remote and turned off the TV. She then proceeded to twist the power knob off the television set and pop the red power button off the remote using the tips of her nails.

"Wh-what was that for?" Tootie ventured. Sure she knew that Vicky wasn't exactly Chip's number one fan anymore, but she figured that since she was working for him she'd achieved a higher tolerance for the guy.

"Never ever let me catch you listening to that blockhead again!" Vicky warned, "Is that clear twerp?!"

Tootie nodded hastily.

"Good."

Tootie winced as the remote came crashing down and shattered on the floor in between them. Vicky spun around on her heel and headed back into the kitchen.

"Uh oh," Tootie whispered, "Vicky must've lost her job too."


Later that night Vicky's parents had gone out for groceries leaving her and Tootie with the house all to themselves. Neither could really enjoy it much. Vicky still hadn't told her parents about quitting a much needed job and Tootie had been silently watching her from the living room through the kitchen's entrance.

Pulling the want-ads back out Vicky sighed. This wasn't working. The bills had come today along with a few overdue notices. The credit card companies were growing impatient.

Outside a white limousine cruised down the street, the moonlight gleaming off the sleek paint job. With the concert tour officially starting in Dimmsdale the following week Chip Skylark was on his way to the fancy resort his agent had booked for him on the other side of town. Unfortunately his limo picked now to have engine troubles.

As fate would have it, the stretch limousine broke down directly in front of Vicky's house.

"Great," Chip sighed as he stepped out of the motionless limo, "that's twice I've been stranded out in the suburbs of Dimmsdale. What are the odds?"

"I'll call Mr. Platinum sir," the driver offered as he too emerged from the limo, "and have him send the spare limousine."

"Thanks Weston," Chip smiled, but his smile soon faded when he heard an ear piercing scream from a house across the street.

"AAAHH!!!" the teenaged girl squealed, "It's CHIP SKYLARK!!"

That was all it took to send a mob of squealing fan girls chasing after Chip. The pop singer was all too used to this by now and managed to put up a pretty good chase throughout the neighborhood before finding himself surrounded right back where he'd started.

His heart started pounding as images of crazed fans ripping his clothes to shreds, yanking on his hair, and screaming at him to sign all sorts of things he'd really rather not be imagining flashed before his eyes.

I've gotta get out of here! he panicked.

The endless sea of teenage hormones backed him up all the way against the front door. Desperately he turned and started pounding against it, hoping against hope that somebody was home.

His prayers were answered when the door opened and his personal assistant (as far as he knew) appeared in the doorway.

"What's going on out here?!" she demanded glaring daggers at the girls swarming around her house. "Get the heck off my lawn you squealing geeks!!"

"Vicky!" Chip gasped in unmasked relief, "Oh I'd hug you if I wasn't afraid you'd turn into a googly-eyed kissy-faced wackadoo."

"What is it with you and that word?" she asked while arching an eyebrow, "And what's the big idea of holding your stupid fan club meeting on my parents' front yard?!"

"Please Vicky!" he begged, "Ya gotta let me in or else my overly-adoring public will rip me apart!!"

"Really," Vicky smirked causing him to drop to his knees and beg harder.

"PLEASE!" he pleaded, tugging at her black jeans.

Vicky looked up at the mass of fanatical fans closing in around them. I'm gonna regret this.

"Fine," she sighed, "but only until the police get here and clear out these mindless, pop star idolizing weeds."

Chip graciously agreed and darted into the house. With a smug grin Vicky slammed the door in the fan girls' eager faces.

Once safely inside he was able to relax. "Thanks Vicky, I totally owe you one."

"Yeah just add me to your list of IOUs." she scoffed folding her arms across her chest.

RING!

"I'll get it!" Tootie called from the living room.

"So," he exhaled nervously glancing around, trying his best to ignore the pounding at the door as Vicky shut the kitchen drapes, "this is where you live huh?"

"Uh-huh," she replied absently, "just don't touch anything. My parents will be back soon and they're already gonna be upset when they found out what happened today."

"Why?" he asked innocently, "What hap-"

"Vicky!" her sister shouted, "It's for you! Something about an application you sent in?!"

For a moment a spark of hope flashed in Vicky's impassive eyes. "I'll be right there!"

Chip sighed as she dashed out of the room leaving him alone standing in her parents' kitchen. "I sure hope Weston's doing okay out there. And I really hope my manager shows up quick with the spare limo."

A few minutes passed by and boredom started to set in. He began to idly wander around the kitchen before spotting a pile of bills spread out atop the kitchen table. "Whoa," he murmured, "I guess Vicky wasn't kidding when she said she took the personal assistant job because she needed the money."

Despite what Vicky thought, he wasn't a total clod. Sure he wasn't the sharpest note on the scale but he knew enough to realize that not everyone was lucky enough to have a big time record company handle all their debts. Even so, he still sometimes found himself envying people like Vicky and Timmy. At least they got to live normal lives.

Not that he didn't love his fans but truth be told, he wouldn't mind a bit of time to himself every once in a while. But his contract wouldn't allow it. His record company producers' handled the bills, but only if he kept up his part of the deal, which was to keep up the sales. And that meant countless hours of autograph signings, endorsements, public appearances, early morning rehearsals, and...well...you get the idea.

"Dude, I never thought I'd say this," he muttered staring down at all the overdue notices, "but...poor Vicky."

"What?" Vicky asked coming back into the room with a very dismal look on her face.

"Uh..." he faltered before noticing her bummed out expression, "...what's wrong?"

Sighing she decided to just tell him, it's not like there was anyone else around she could talk to. Tootie had rushed up to her room after handing her the phone. "Not that you care, but I didn't get the job I applied for."

Arching an eyebrow Chip inquired, "You're trying to work two jobs?"

"Huh?" oh this was too typical, "You mean Tony didn't give you the good news?"

Skylark shrugged and shook his head.

"I quit today." she said simply.

"What?!" his blue eyes bulged, "Why am I always the last one to find out about these things?!"

"Probably because you're always so busy soaking up all that fame and fortune that seems to constantly follow you around." she griped.

"Hey now that's not cool." he objected, "You don't know the half of what I have to go through on a daily basis!"

"I know that you're not sitting around at home in the dark with a mountain of overdue bills to pay." she countered.

"Yeah," he admitted, "about that...Look, I don't know what happened to make you quit, but I do know that this proves you're not so—ya know—icky anymore. So if you'd like your old job back, it's yours."

"Well I don't need your charity pal!" she huffed. "I quit because I was sick of being your errand girl! I work my butt of and you don't even care! All you do is set back, get pampered, and drive yourself even further into debt! But hey, you're a big star, so why should you care?! It's not like you have to live in the real world—like the rest of us!"

Vicky's sarcasm wasn't lost on the annoyed singer. "I'll have you know that my life isn't exactly Champaign and caviar! It's hard work being a pop music star! Early wake-up calls, long hours, tons of publicity stuff, and barely a minute's peace to yourself!"

He could tell by the glare she was giving him that she didn't buy his words for a minute. Getting mad obviously wasn't going to accomplish anything. And standing here arguing about their problems wasn't getting either of them anywhere. Chip's current problem would be solved soon enough when his manager arrived to get him out of his fan made prison. But Vicky's problems wouldn't go away that easily.

Glancing over at the pile of bills on the table he decided to take a stand and prove that he wasn't the spoiled, selfish, glory seeker that she had branded him to be. "Face it Vicky, you need a job or you won't be able to help your family pay off these bills. Come back and work for me again and I...I'll...double your salary!"

Vicky's eyes widened, this was certainly unexpected. He can't be serious, she thought suspiciously, Besides, I HATE that stupid job. Ugh, but I really need the money!

Shooting a look over at the endless array of bills she frowned. What the heck was she supposed to do?! Hm, maybe some of her old babysitting tactics were in order...

"Triple my old pay," she bargained, highly doubting that he'd be dumb enough to pay her that much.

"Deal!" Chip instantly agreed.

Her jaw dropped as he proceeded to shake her hand, sealing the deal in the customary Hollywood fashion.

"Mr. Skylark!" a male voice called over a megaphone. "This is the Dimmsdale City Police Department. We have cleared the area. I repeat, we have cleared the area. It is safe to emerge from your place of refuge!"

"Awesome!" he beamed rushing over to the door.

Sure enough Vicky's house was completely surrounded by police cars and yellow tape. The crowd had been forced to disperse leaving Chip a clear path to the spare limo that had just arrived.

Vicky watched still dumbstruck as Chip made a run for the limo. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning!" he smirked before hopping inside his ride and speeding away.

Groaning Vicky remained in the doorway as the cop cars started pulling away. "I can't believe it. The jerk who went and made my name a big media joke just offered me back my old job at triple the pay."

As much as she hated to admit it, that was a pretty nice thing to do. And she wasn't exactly accustomed to having people do nice things for her. Stranger yet, she now found herself feeling almost grateful to the kind hearted celebrity. "Hn," she scoffed, trying to retain some of her dignity after staring at him with a gaping mouth and looking like the world's biggest fool, "I hope that dork wasn't expecting a 'thank you'."


Amanda/Artiste: So thanks to Chip Skylark Vicky now has her old job back, with a considerable raise in salary. Will this change things between them? Or will Vicky revert back to thinking of him as some spoiled egotistical celebrity once she's back at the much loathed job? Review my readers! Review!! Next Chapter: Britney Britney enters the picture and even Chip seems swept up in her beauty and charm. But is this truly a match made in Heaven? Or will there be trouble in paradise? And how many puns must I make in a day?! O.o