You are all probably going to hate Elizabeth in this, but hers is coming, trust me. Heheheh. Thanks for the reviews too, I really appreciate the good words.
Nothing's Changed
XxXxXxX
"You don't have the right to say that to me anymore." She said, standing abruptly to her feet.
Trying to stop her from moving so much while the enemy could still be lurking, he hopped up with her and stood in front of her. "Well, why not?" He asked innocently, as if he had no clue.
"Because, Jason. You--you, threatened to kill me if I harmed your little princess," she started sarcastically, "and you don't look at me anymore, you look through me. And I mean nothing to you so soon after we shared the most amazing three years together." Sighing heavily, she looked away from him. "Obviously, you hate me now and that's fine." She stiffened her jaw. "I hate you too." She said plainly, which made it unconvincing.
"You do?" Jason asked doubtfully.
"Yes." She confirmed with a nod. "I do."
"Then why are you here?" He said slightly smirking, hiding the gesture poorly with his hand.
Her eyes met his seriously but she half-shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I'm scared to die." She mumbled incoherently.
Jason watched her face in amazement. "Sam, you're not going to die."
"I feel like I am this time." She said, forcing a smile.
Jason put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. "You're not, Sam. I can't let you die."
"You can just threaten me from time to time." She said with a roll of her eyes.
"You put my kid in danger." He defended lightly.
She shrugged his hand off as she started back towards his bike. "They weren't supposed to use guns." She countered weakly.
He followed after her. They never had a chance to talk about this civilly. He was throwing glasses and she was drinking. "Yeah, but that's not like you, Sam. To do something like that to innocent kids." He finally caught up to her as she walked past the bike. "I thought you had completely changed from the woman I knew after you did that."
"Like you completely changed from the man I knew?" She scoffed, turning to face him. "Jason, you had a child with another woman and tried to hide it from me! You could've...told me." She said lightly--obviously, this subject still bothered her. "I mean, after all we had been through, did you honestly think I couldn't handle it?"
Jason sighed and dropped his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't respond for a while. "Remember when we lost Hope?" He started reluctantly, in a soft and apologetic voice. "Do you remember how much you hated me?" He surely remembered, it was one of the most saddest times in his life.
Sam pushed stray strands of her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms, uncomfortable with the topic. "Yeah." She said uneasily.
"Jake would be born, you and I'd get him for a week or two at a time and then eventually, Elizabeth would come pick him up and," he paused, looking up at her sadly, "you'd realize that it's not your son. It's not your baby. It's mine, but it's not yours. It's my baby, it's Elizabeth's baby...just not your baby." He told her quietly. "Dealing with that for the rest of your life, you'd hate me, Sam. I knew it and I just didn't know how to deal with it."
"So you pushed me away?" She asked mainly to herself. Tears had bunched in her eyes but she hadn't let them fall. "So...why do you have to be with her?"
"If I can't have the woman I want, I might as well give my child a good life." He shrugged with lack of better answers. It was his default, say what sounded good.
Sam was so tired of hearing that. "Giving your son a good life has nothing to do with who you marry. It's how you treat them. How you tell them you love them three times before bed just to make sure they heard you," she said sadly, remembering that she'd never have a kid. She looked away from him, hoping he couldn't read her look but he had.
Jason gave her a sad look. "Sam, I know that. But most children need stable homes."
"Why, because they'll turn out like me?" She said defensively, turning her back on her ex. She didn't need him anymore than he needed her if that was how he wanted to be.
"To tell you the truth, Elizabeth and I are not together." He muttered, looking away from her.
She stopped walking and stared at him, surprised. "Oh." Was all she could say as she uncomfortably crossed her arms.
"Do you think you'll ever stop being angry with me?" He asked sadly.
She looked down at her boots, contemplating it. "I don't...I don't think so."
"Why not?" He wondered, stepping in front of her.
She stared at him for a long while, until she remembered all they'd been through and it hurt too much. "You should...call Sonny. To tell him we were shot at."
He was losing it, he hadn't even thought about that. "You're right." He pulled out his cell phone and called his boss.
In the meantime, Sam watched him. She'd never seen Jason so disoriented before. He was probably having problems with Elizabeth right now and he could probably use a shoulder--or something else for a little comfort--and the old Sam would've done it. Used his troubles to get back at him, but she was done scheming. All she wanted was for this to be over with so she could get out of town. Away from another past that would probably haunt her for years.
Jason hung up his phone. "We're going up to Sonny's," he ordered, putting a hand on her back, "and then we're going to the safehouse."
"I really should go home." She started. She didn't trust herself around him--in the safehouse?! It was boring there and there was nothing to do but watch his muscles ripple in his back as he slept face down--see, she was going there already.
"Why? Lucky got you on a curfew?" He snorted as they went into the building.
"No, but he's probably worried." She said honestly. "I should call him." She pulled out her cell phone.
Jason watched her blankly before saying, "don't tell him what happened. No police, yet."
She nodded and turned away to take her call.
XxXxX
"I can't believe you called so late after the ordeal." Sonny said again, sipping from his Scotch. "I knew I heard gun shots, didn't I tell you I heard gunshots," he pointed to Max who quickly nodded in response.
"It's my fault I," Jason started, "I told Sam to stay there with me while I waited to make sure they were all gone." He lied. "I didn't think about anything but making sure she was safe."
"I could've had a track on these guys." He slammed his cup down. "They were right outside my home!" He boomed suddenly. "Do you know how dangerous that is?!" He yelled at Jason. "Especially when I don't know who the hell it is!"
"Sorry Sonny." He apologized ashamedly.
Sam sat quietly, watching as Jason got reprimanded. She wanted to hold up for him--but it wasn't her place anymore. "Sonny?" She said quietly.
"What?" He snapped at her, his eyes still blazing.
"I have a way we can fix all of this." She announced, standing to her feet.
"What's...what's that?" He was truly interested.
"Well, they always seem to find me, no matter what, right?" She started, not daring to glance at Jason. "Why don't I play bait and lead you to them?"
"That's dangerous." Sonny said before Jason could get it out. "But it could work."
"You're willing to risk her life for this?" Jason didn't want this.
"Nothin's gonna happen." Sonny said assured. "Because if it does, you're gonna be there."
"What if they're following me?" Jason didn't want to go into this with any loose ends.
"If they were, you'd know. You're a pro. Sam, she's an easier target. She's a woman." He motioned towards her and spoke nonchalantly. "They've been trailing her because she leads them to you."
Jason glanced at her. "So they've probably been following her for a while." He spoke mainly between him and Sonny.
"Probably know a lot more than we think." Sonny added. He looked to Max. "You're to stay with Sam at all times."
"Sonny, I got it." Jason said easily, holding his hands up. "Obviously, they're trying to come for me, being with her will more than likely take the heat off of her."
"Like it did down stairs?" He shook his head, obviously being sarcastic. "That's crap."
"Will I be able to go home?" Sam asked, wanting in on the conversation they were having on her life.
"No." They both said before turning back to each other and talking.
Sam shook her head and walked out--Max wasn't far behind.
When the door closed, Jason stopped semi-arguing with Sonny and noticed she and Max were gone.
"I'll be back." He ran out to go get her.
XxXxX
Jason stopped from around the corner of the stairs when he heard her sniveling voice.
"I don't know, Lucky." She cried. "I mean, I just want what's normal. I want a normal life. Not this."
Jason felt a wave of guilt wash through him as he heard her broken voice. He remembered when she could talk to him that way and now she couldn't...because he was too afraid to try to keep things with her. He had to go and push her away...threaten her. Which he knew, crossed the line. But they had both crossed a few lines that they wished they hadn't.
She wiped the wetness from her face and sniffed. "I just want to leave here. I want things to be different."
"With Jason?" Lucky asked quietly.
Sam seemed to stiffen at the question. "I guess. I'm not sure." She sighed uneasily. "Lucky, I really like you--"
"You just love him." He answered softly for her. "It's understandable. I didn't expect you not to."
"But I," her voice hitched and she stopped, "I don't want to."
"It'll take time," he assured her caringly. "It's not like you'll wake up one day and be over him. Just don't close yourself out on opprotunities." He told her. "And I don't mean me, I don't even mean men in general. Just like, live your life Sam. It's all you've got."
She raked a hand through her hair and dropped her forehead on her knees. "You're right. I know you're right." She chanted mainly to herself. "It's just hard."
"Not much in life is easy." He half joked. "Be careful, Sam. Call me if you need anything."
"I will. I promise." She smiled and hung up the phone, leaving her head in her lap. She clasped her eyes shut and prepared to cry until she heard a footstep behind her. She sighed tiredly and shook her head. "Do you ever just leave me alone?"
"I can't." He said plainly. "Especially now, Sam. Your life could be in danger."
"When has it not been?" She scoffed, still not turning to him. "My whole life, my life has been in danger, Jason. It's nothing new."
He moved to stand behind her and watched her for a while before swallowing with a struggle. "If you uh," he started, forcing himself to choke out the words, "if you love Lucky then, I can work something out where the two of you can be together." He said painedly. If it's what truly made her happy, then he'd set it up in a heartbeat. "I just want you to stay alive."
She looked up at him in disbelief. "In love with Lucky?" She asked in confusion. She scrambled to her feet. "Jason, really. Do you honestly think I'm in love with Lucky?"
He waved his hand at her cell phone. "You uh, you call him when you cry and uh, you depend on him. You trust him with secrets, you live with him." When she loved him, he recieved all of that. "You, you kiss him." He gritted out.
Sam shook her head at his cluelessness. "Because he's the only one there. He's not exactly--" She stopped herself and shook her head again. "Nevermind."
"What?" Jason prodded, sensing the deeper meaning.
"Nothing." She tried to walk past him but his big body blocked her.
"He's not exactly what?" He wasn't letting this go.
She gulped and was caught captive by his bright blue eyes. "You." She breathed the word hesitantly. She eyed his expression--he remained calm. "He's not you." She repeated shakily. She felt desperate and needy. Under his pensive gaze, she felt stuck. Time was slowly coming to a stop and he was coming closer.
She hadn't felt this weak in a while.
He grabbed her face and pulled her mouth to his, trying to kiss the past away. Where they stood--it swirled as she reluctantly rested her hands on his strong arms. She didn't dare grab him, he might realize that they weren't dreaming and pull away.
She didn't need him to pull away.
He was finally touching her, fulfilling that dull pain inside of him and quenching that mysterious thirst his body had had ever since the day he realized that he'd no longer be coming home to her. He wanted to pull her close her, but didn't want to shake her from this lovely moment. He sighed contentedly when her tongue slipped past his lips and maybe he was crazy--but he couldn't remember why he wasn't married to her.
Sam let out a low moan before she came to her senses and pushed him away, breathing heavily. "Jason..." She said, pressing her fingertips to her kiss swolen lips. She was watching him as if he was someone different. "You can't..."
"I love you." He said almost desperately. "Sam, I do."
"Stop." She ordered, dropping her head and putting a hand up, waving it in his face. "Stop it, no you don't."
"I do." He insisted.
"You don't!" She shrieked, near tears. "You threatened to kill me, I...I watched Jake get taken, I...You...Elizabeth...Jake..." She was mumbling incoherent things, but she was sure they were true. She looked up as if she had realized the cruelest thing of all. "This isn't right, Jason." With that, she pushed past him and ran out.
XxXxX
Moments later, after recounting everything that had just happened between he and Sam, Jason decided to leave the stair case and go back to Sonny's. That's probably where Sam had run back to. It had been written all over her face--she was afraid that he'd hurt her again, the physical pain meant nothing compared to the emotional pain he'd put her through. She wasn't ready to suffer another heartbreak. So, she was steering clear.
He opened the door to the stair way and was about to walk to Sonny's door when he saw Elizabeth at his door. His eyes narrowed in question. "Elizabeth? What are you doing here?"
She looked to him, her face pale and tear stained. "Um, someone gave me a message to give you."
He furrowed his brows and stepped closer. "What? What is it?"
She swallowed and looked down at her shoes. "You have to marry me."
For the first time in a long time--Jason was in utter and complete shock.
XxXxX
