Lunchtime finds me anxiously awaiting my husband's return. I put the kids down a little early, heaving a huge sigh of relief when Phoebe took her formula and rice better than yesterday. I also asked Gail if she'd mind looking in on the kids while Christian and I had lunch together. I have to admit, when I first met Christian, I felt very self-conscious while asking Gail to do anything- even laundry. But eventually I came to realize that there was probably very little that Christian or I could do to shock her now. She'd been with Christian as his housekeeper through many of his subs, and while I'm sure she had her assumptions about what went on in the Red Room of Pain, I am thankful for her discrete nature. I trust her with my children, and know that she loves them as her own.
Gail prepared a light lunch of Caesar salad. I have set it up on the balcony to our bedroom and there's chilled iced tea to drink. I went ahead and fixed myself a glass and started to drink, trying to remind myself how important it is to stay hydrated when breast feeding…er…nursing…er…well, whatever you'd call what we're doing. My mind recalled what Christian called our new fetish. ANR. Adult nursing relationship. Hmmm. I glance at the clock and realize it's almost noon. Christian should be here any minute. Even so, I grab my phone and open up a private browser window. I type in ANR in the search window. The first thing that comes up is a site called Urban Dictionary. I hesitate to click, knowing that I want real, factual information and maybe even personal stories. How do people make this work? Words of advice? What made them stop if they aren't participating in ANR anymore? I continue browsing and see that the next site shows ANR as a stock abbreviation- definitely not what I'm looking for. Then there's agriculture and natural resources. Nope, again not what I'm looking for. Perhaps I should spell things out. I clear the search and type "adult nursing relationship and success stories". I'm pleased to see more appropriate search results and pick one to click. As I read, I find the story of a couple that have been participating in ANR for over five years. Wow, that's a long time. One person writes that if you become a nursing couple, it's far more intimate than sex. It impacts every part of your life from where you work, to vacations, visits from family…every decision will be judged by how long it will affect your nursing relationship. I think over this and take a moment to realize the truth in that statement. Christian is such a busy man and I can't imagine him constantly making time for this. But if he did, I can only imagine how much closer it could bring us. Not that we're not close now, but with two children that's one of the things I've worried about- how it will affect our relationship.
I'm deep into my reading when I hear my husband clearing his throat. "Something interesting on your phone there Mrs. Gray?" I look up at him and realize he must have been there for a few minutes. He has loosened his tie and is propped on the doorframe, rubbing his chin as he watches me with those intense eyes of his.
"Just catching up on some research. How was your morning?" I reply as I place my phone down on the table beside the bed. I pick up my tea and take a soothing sip. Why am I suddenly nervous?
Christian steps further into the room and makes his way over to me. "My morning was uneventful. I caught up on some paperwork, had a few meetings, delegated some things to Ros…you know. The usual. How was your morning Everything go okay?"
He sits down beside me on the bed and begins to rub my back, easing some of the tension I feel there. "Everything was fine. The ususal. Phoebe took her bottle much better than yesterday. Teddy insisted on helping feed her. He also has it in his head that he wants to go out on the boat with you this weekend. Any idea where that came from?"
Christian continues his relaxing massage. Down my arm, back up, and across my shoulders, down my back and to my waist. He kisses my neck, my jawline, and my forehead before pulling back and gently pecking my lips. "I probably should have talked to you about that. My brother wants to go out on the boat this weekend to sail. He called me the other day about it and I had Teddy with me at the time. I thought it'd be a nice break for you, for me to take him with me, so that you could have some time with Phoebe. Maybe relax a bit while she naps. Will that work for you?"
I close my eyes and relax back into his arms. "Sure. How long do you think you'll be gone?"
"Not to worry. I'll make sure you're comfortable before I go." Christian replies, knowing where my thoughts were heading. "Why don't we have lunch together and then we'll see how you're feeling.
I think to myself that Christian is constantly putting my comfort before his own. I can see the clear outline of his erection in his suit pants, but he takes all the time in the world for me. I wonder to myself is it ever tiring, to constantly wonder about the well -being of another so astutely, to constantly be planning your next move, your next plan to assure their well-being and comfort. I try to think that I do that for my children, but there are times when their needs surprise me. They need a snack I had not planned ahead for. A spill I hadn't brought enough clothes for. You name it. But it seems that Christian constantly has my needs in his forethoughts. It's calming and reassuring, and yet I wonder if he ever gets tired of it. Or is it what he needs to complete his compulsiveness and planning nature. Something to think about for later.
I take his hand and walk out to the balcony. The spring air is warm and feels good on my skin. I'm wearing a button up peasant blouse and leggings. I wasn't sure if we would just be suckling today during lunch or if it would lead to other activities. I'm sure Christian has a plan, but I plan to follow his lead.
Lunch is a comfortable affair with both of us eating most of our salad. It is light and crisp and refreshing. The dressing is one of Gail's recipes and is among my favorites. As we finish the last of our drinks, Christian takes my hand. "Ana, have you been continuing to drink as you should? I don't want you dehydrated."
I smirk, knowing it will light his fuse. "Yes, sir. Of course. You do realize that I've breastfed before?"
He smirks in response and pulls me to my feet. "Yes, Ana. I do. However I know that you often tend to forget to eat enough. You are very important to me, and while you may not be breastfeeding Phoebe, and I may not be suckling from you as often as she was, it's important to keep your supply up if we plan to have you lactate. Are you comfortable with that, or would you prefer dry suckling?"
I pause to think a moment. This was one of the questions I had for Christian. "Would you be satisfied with just dry suckling?"
"Ana, you know I would. I would be pleased with any portion of this that you choose to share with me. The choice is yours. However, if that's your choice, we'll need to either get the prescription from my mom or Dr. Greene to dry up your milk or we'll need to put this on hold until it does dry up." I feel my face flush and Christian pulls me to him. "What is it Ana? You know you can tell me anything."
I clear my throat and start. "I…well, I like the feeling of you suckling. Of me being able to supply you with milk. I realize from reading a bit this morning that some people only have that and are okay with it because they never are able to lactate. That obviously isn't a problem or us right now and honestly, I want to continue to for now. To lactate that is. If you like the taste, I like being able to supply it to you. When my milk lets down it feels…erotic. Nothing like it did when I was breastfeeding the children. It feels sensual. And when my breasts are full, and you suckle them, I can't explain it. It's like I am able to meet your needs and you meet mine in a way that is sexual but not. Does that make sense?"
"Very much so Ana. I understand, and I am glad to hear you say you want to continue. I would be happy with dry suckling but I'd prefer to taste your milk. It hooks a desire in me that I can't name. It's so primal. There aren't words." He pulls me to him and kisses me deeply. "Now that we have that out of the way, why don't you make yourself comfortable on the bed while I change. I have to go back to work in a bit and I don't want these pants looking like I rolled around with my wife on my lunch hour.
I laugh as I unbutton my blouse and climb into our bed. Christian joins me wearing only his boxer briefs and begins to kiss me all over. He starts with my neck and my shoulder, and then moves up to my face…kissing me gently all over. He makes his way back down to my breasts and opens one of the clasps of my nursing bra. A portion of my breast and my nipple obviously pop out, no longer having the satin padded fabric to contain it. Christian laves it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth and taking long draws from it. He flicks open the other clasp and my erect nipple is there waiting on his nimble fingers. He pinches and pulls until it is as he wishes, and then moves his mouth to the other breast, taking long draws from it as well. As I feel my milk start to let down, I moan slightly, but Christian stops as I do. "Tell me, Ana. Did you touch yourself today while I was gone?"
I shake my head to indicate that I did not. I did not even pump, as I had planned on doing since I wanted to be full for my husband. "No, I wanted to be full for you."
Christian smiles. "Good girl. Let's take off your bra, and I will see if I can provide some relief for you. Are you uncomfortable? Too full?"
"No, not too full. But I can tell I haven't nursed or been suckled since early this morning."
Christian continues to work my nipples as we talk. He always has a way to take my mind off of things and make me more comfortable with the conversation at hand. "Ana, do you prefer being full when I suckle you? Is the sensation the same as when you're not as full? Does it feel painful?"
I take a moment to think about his question. "I don't really have a preference. If I'm too full it becomes rather tight; almost painful. But otherwise it just feels good to have the relief. And erotic…very erotic."
Christian leans down to kiss my breasts as his hand works it's way into my leggings, pulling them down and then off. "Ana, I don't want you in pain, but sometime a little discomfort can make things more intense. This can be the case with ANR. I trust you to tell me your limits and let me know if we ever go too long without a session. I need to know that you aren't in pain. Can you do that for me?"
I close my eyes and lift my chest to him as he bends to kiss my breasts again. "Yes, I can do that," I reply. At this point I'd do practically anything.
Christian begins to suckle in earnest and massages my breast deeply as he suckles. It seems as if the more he massages the more my milk pours from my breast. Finally, the supply begins to subside and he takes the other breast in his mouth. All the while, he is gently rubbing my nub. I can feel copious amounts of liquid as it slides from me, coating his fingers; evidence of my desire for him. I don't know that I've ever been this turned on. As he finishes with my breasts, he slides down in the bed and pulls me over on him, kissing me gently on the mouth. "Ana, I want you to turn around and put your pussy on my face. I want to eat all of this wetness coming from you. I don't think you've ever been this wet and I intend to get my fill of it."
My face flames as I hear his words. While this isn't the first time we've done this, it has always made me embarrassed. It's not that I don't want to, but rather it's because I want to so much. I'm always afraid that I'm going to grind too hard on him. My hesitation goes noticed by Christian, and he lands a quick slap on my ass. "Ana, turn around. Don't overthink this. I know that you love this position, but I also know you won't ask for it. Don't deny me the opportunity to taste you with you as turned on as you are. Please, love."
His words comfort me and the erotic tap he delivered turns me on even more. I quickly reposition myself and his lips immediately find their purchase on my clit. He licks and sucks me through two orgasms, that quickly take my breath with their intensity. As I'm coming down from my second orgasm, I take his dick into my mouth and suck hard, then gently lick up each side. He is continuing to lick me gently but his hands are also massaging my butt, gently easing the tenseness in my glutes from the position I'm holding. I work his member and feel it get even harder, like velvet over steel, and gloat in my ability to turn him on. I can hear him chanting my name, over and over, like a prayer. I can tell he's close, and I wrap my hand around him to provide more friction. As I do so, his finger slips into my anus and he slides two into my vagina. The sensation is too much and all of a sudden I am tipping over with release, holding my breath as the sensations wash over me. He explodes as I do and I quickly swallow his release.
As our heartbeats return to normal, he pulls me up beside him. His face is glistening with the evidence of our escapade and I reach across him to pull a baby wipe from the bedside table. I gently wipe his face, and lean in to kiss him, while wondering if he enjoyed it as much as I did.
I decide to speak my thoughts aloud. "Do you think it will always be this intense. I'm not sure we'll survive." I laugh as I finish my statement, only half kidding.
Christian pulls me to him and holds me tightly. "God I hope so. It'll be a great way to go." He laughs and then kisses me again. "I have to go get cleaned up. I have another meeting at 1:30. I'll probably be late coming home…maybe as late as 9. Will you be okay? Will you need to pump?"
"If you want me to keep up as large of a supply as I currently have I'll need to. Otherwise my supply will start to dry up a bit so that I only have enough for our three times a day adventures."
Christian gently rolls a nipple as he puts an arm behind his head, propping up so that he can see me clearly. "Ideally, I'd like it if you made even more. It really turns me on. But I want you to be comfortable so we can compromise. Whatever you need to do to be comfortable."
I nod my head that I understand and kiss him once more before he rises to take a quick shower. I fully realize that we won't be able to have sex every day at lunch, but it was nice to have him home for lunch and to have time set aside for just me. As he steps into the shower, I make my way to the bathroom to clean up a bit, knowing that I will need another shower when he's done. If I get in with him now, he'll definitely be late for work. We pass in the bathroom, as he is stepping out and I'm stepping in.
"Ana, I'm going to finish dressing and then head back to work. I'm sure Taylor is waiting for me. I'll call or text you later to let you know exactly what time I'll be home. Kiss the kids for me and tell them I love them. Oh, and before I forget, it looks like I may be traveling to North Carolina or Georgia sometime in the next week. It will likely be an overnight trip. You need to be deciding if you want to accompany me or how you'd like to work this. I'm doing my best to minimize the amount of travel I need to do since Phoebe is so young and we need to be with her. Ros is taking most of trips, but I will be needed to sign final contracts."
I bite my lip and wonder how we'll make this work. I know that we're dedicated and we'll figure it out. "Okay, I'll think about it." He kisses me once more, then he's off to the closet to redress for work. As I step into the shower, I think about work and how I'm supposed to go into the office tomorrow. I assume Christian realizes this but perhaps I should text him later with a reminder. I guess we'll need to find a place for our lunch time activities. My mind is filled with planning as I finish up my shower. I suppose the online article was right- this new endeavor certainly does take a lot of planning, but so far it surely seems worth it!
