Yay! Another chapter…way overdue, but I finally finished it! Not much happens in this one…but it is important! Trust me!

Yet another instalment in the epic tale of Ash's revenge…

Ash: (raises gun) say your prayers.

Me: (pales and collapses to knees) Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…

Ash: (stares) I didn't mean literally, you idiot!

Me: Oh…right… (Gets up looking sheepish)

Ash: (raises gun again) Now…die!

Me: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! (Thinks fast) If you kill me now, you'll be stuck looking like that forever! I won't be able to write the cool epilogue where you get changed back!

Ash: (pauses) hm…you have a point... (Smirks) I'll just torture you a little then.

Me: (O.o) I'm screwed….

To be continued…

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I saw it for sale on Ebay the other week, but some bastard beat me too it!

-

The girls stared in slack jawed disbelief as the boy was blown to kingdom come by the landmines and other explosives hidden in the field. It was only after the smoke had cleared enough for them to see the dog completely unharmed and wagging its tail like there was no tomorrow while the boy was a singed wreck that Crimson finally snapped out of her horrified daze.

"AAAAAH!! Naruto!!" she screamed as, acting on instinct, she swung the strange gun-like device she'd been holding in the lab up to chest height and fired wildly at Naruto. A jet of shining blue light shot from the nose of the silver instrument and hit Naruto dead in the chest, his whole body glowed with an unearthly white light for a split second before a small, sad sounding poof echoed throughout the clearing.

The three friends stared in open amazement at the sight which greeted their eyes. It was the same boy which sat staring dazedly about, but his outfit couldn't have been more different! Well, actually it could…we could have changed the colour, but Naruto has something wrong with him! It's been scientifically proven that any clothes you put on him, no matter what they might be or what colour they may have originally been, will immediately convert to being bright, garish orange upon contact with his body. But anyway! Back on topic. There stood, or rather sat, the one and only Naruto Uzumaki dressed in ornate Elizabethan style clothing. Complete with ornate bejewelled slippers and one of those silly round hats that have a feather in them.

It seemed they weren't the only ones thrown of guard by the sudden change of events; the rest of team seven stared in horrified disbelief as Naruto stood up and dusted himself down. Even Kakashi's attention had been dragged away from his precious books for the time being. Suddenly, without warning Naruto beamed and launched into a monologue littered with strange expressions and old words such as 'Thou' and 'Hast'. Slowly Alba turned to face Ash, face incredulous, she hesitated for a second before saying,

"Is he…quoting Shakespeare?" Ash nodded dumbly. They both stared at each other in mute shock for a few seconds before bursting into uncontrollable giggles.

Crimson however didn't join in the laugh-fest that was being had at Naruto's expense. Instead she was staring in awe at the silvery contraption in her hand.

"Wow…" she breathed, "I wonder if this thing works on everybody…" An evil grin came over her face as her gaze fell on her two laughing companions and the immobilized Team 7. "Only one way to find out!" She exclaimed happily. Spinning round to face the others she fired a random shot at the group. Once again a beam of blinding blue light leapt from the barrel of the gun-like thing and filled the body it hit with a blinding white glow for a mere split second. This time, once the others had blinked the afterglow from their vision, they were confronted with the sight of a shocked looking Ash standing in the centre of the clearing. Her hair, already short, had turned pale luminescent silver. Her skin was even paler than before, and her eyes had become a chilling pale blue. She wore a black top and trousers, but over the top was a knee length coat of rich blue silk, with delicate embroidery round the hems. From a slim belt fastened at her waist hung an ornate katana with the word 'Yamato' inlaid into the hilt in golden tracery.

Alba stared in horror at the image of her friend; Crimson paled considerably and whispered, "Oh shit…" as she backed away quickly. Suddenly Ash's head snapped up and she sent a withering death glare at the two,

"What have you done!" she hissed in tones of deathly rage. Broken out of her daze by the quiet words Alba sprinted across the clearing, grabbed the device off the shocked Crimson and fired a second shot of light at Ash just as her hand landed on the katana. Team seven watched this display in bemused shock, not really knowing how to react to these strange people.

This time when the light faded, it left a decidedly different form behind it…Gone was the silver hair, replaced with a short, two toned thing. The cut itself was nothing out of the ordinary…it was just…the two colours employed were magenta and pale pink. Startled green eyes peered out from under the unruly bangs the dangled down in her face. A red kimono-style top fell to halfway down her thighs, kunai bandages covered her legs down to the knees with a kunai pouch on one leg just above the knee. Inefficiently stifled snickers came from Crimson and Alba as they stared at their friend. Sakura tore her attention away from a now prancing Naruto to see what was so funny. She nearly screamed when she saw one of them now looking like her identical twin.

"What the hell?!!!" she and Ash yelled at exactly the same time. Both girls turned to glare at each other and raised their fists to point, again in perfect synchronization. Curious, they began to go through a series of movements, waving, skipping on the spot, jumping up and down, etc. They managed to do all in exactly identical ways. Sakura's eyes narrowed, then without warning she broke into a complex series of flips and kicks. Ash stared in bewilderment, recovering herself enough to strike a pose (Identical to Sakura's, of course…) just as Sakura landed, making it look like she'd kept up.

Suddenly Ash's attention was diverted from her new found doppelganger as fits of laughter echoed from the near prostrate forms of Alba and Crimson. Growling in anger she marched across to the two and snatched up the silver contraption, which had been abandoned on the grassy forest floor in the other's merriment. Glaring she carefully took aim at Alba, and fired. The laughter suddenly stopped. Alba lay on the ground where she had been before, staring at herself in a mixture of horror and delight. Her ordinarily grey-blue eyes had been transformed to a darkly glowing crimson, slightly tanned skin had become nearly pure white. Her hair seemed to have come loose as it fell to half way down her back in a wave of black streaked with midnight blue, held back from her eyes by only a red bandana. A long, tattered red cloak done up with ornate buckles covered the lower half of her face as well as the upper part of the black top she now wore to match the slightly baggy black trousers that had appeared. Both arms were hidden under black leather gloves and a deadly looking golden claw adorned her left arm. The same golden metal came to gauntlet like points on the calf-high boots that had materialised. Ranged about the outfit were a series of seemingly pointless buckles, on the top, down one leg, along both arms, at the top of the boots…there were even buckles on the two belts that criss-crossed her waist. Hanging from one of the belts was a long barrelled black gun, inlaid into the side was silver tracery that took the form of a vine wrapping itself around a three headed dog motif and curling around both stock and barrel.

"Holy hell…" she breathed as Ash took her turn to laugh in abandon at her friend's predicament. "I look like a female Vincent Valentine!!" She glared at her giggling friend, then grinned. "Still, at least I don't have pink hair!" This shut Ash up. Although both were vaguely aware of an indignant shout from Sakura's direction…. More laughter from the only member of the trio not yet affected broke them out of their unofficial death-glare war. Two pairs of modified eyes narrowed as the same thought passed through their minds. With an evil smirk Ash raised the contraption once more and fired at Crimson. When she saw the effect her jaw dropped open in shock as, on the ground, Alba went into uncontrollable gales of laughter.

Crimson's plain brown hair had been replaced by long straight strands of pure white on top and a layer of pale lilac underneath that was held back in a loose ponytail by a black silk ribbon. The two dark purple bangs that framed her now white face matched nearly perfectly the eye-shadow that had mysteriously appeared above golden eyes with slitted pupils. A creamy off-white tunic fell to her knees with a thick plum coloured sash holding it in at the waist. From there Black leggings continued a few inches over the knee before stopping, on her feet were a pair of the regulation ninja sandals like the ones the members of team seven were wearing (apart from Naruto that is…). Beside her, just touching the fingers of one hand, was what looked like a wooden staff, approximately five feet in length. Soft black fabric was wrapped around either end for about a foot, and held there by a rich golden cord that was wrapped all the way round the staff in a complicated spiral that came together in an intricate bow at the centre and a bandoleer like leather belt was attached to it by a worn looking sheath that had obviously seen better days.

Bemusedly Crimson stared down at herself. Ash and Alba watched with glee the look of growing horror and disgust on her face. Scrambling up she grabbed Alba by the collar of her new cloak and whispered in a stricken tone, "Tell me this isn't as bad as I think it is!" Laughing too much to talk Alba just nodded weakly. Ash clapped a hand on the distressed Crimson's shoulder and said in a cheerily sadistic tone of voice, "Well wadda'ya know…M.J. has a look-alike!"

-

Ooooh! Another cliffy-ish…thing…Heh. So, Who's 'M.J.'? What is the strange silver device? What the hell has happened to Naruto? Why haven't Team seven done anything yet? Answers to all these question and more…in the next chapter!! (cue bad theme music…that's right. This is a soap opera! Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha-(hack-cough-splutter, falls off evil-overlord-chair-of-doom and dies)

Anyway…Yeah. I'll give a cookie to anyone who gets all the character references in their review! There, incentive! So review, and make me a happy little author…