Authors Note: I'll stop the world and melt with you, my little reviewers. I finally saw all of Sky High! (Happy dance) I liked 'Save the Citizen.' Anyway, I hope you like my chapter of profound stupidity.

Sex Parodies, Freakish babies, Labor Day, and Pointless-ness

"…Edwards' last request was for me to give birth to his half-vampire, half-werewolf babies. I have the vampire part down pat, but where am I going to find a werewolf at this time of the year? It's like trying to find someone who wears white after Labor Day. It's impossible and pointless." Bella said. Jacob shook his head slowly, as he took a seat next to her on the porch step. Then he patted her back and gave her some water.

"Are you positive you're feeling alright, Bella?" Jacob asked.

"Just peachy, why?"

"You're acting more retarded with each passing day."

"Depression. It's depression, my dear Jacob."

"Umm…Well, because you are going through this 'depression,' I shall help you in your quarry. You see, Bella, I am a werewolf."

"No wai."

"Ya wai."

"No wai."

"Ya wai."

"Whoa, major de ja vu, here, man."

"Are you cereal? No wai."

"Ya wai…"

"…So. What now?" Jacob asked.

"Well…I dunno. How are babies made? I always thought the stork brought them, but when Edward said give birth, that just threw me."

"Well, Bella…You must make love to make babies." Jacob said.

"Oh. How do you do that?"

Insert Jacob doing an anime-esque nosebleed here, please.

"Well, actually…" He whispered her how to do it in her ear. "Are you sure you want to?"

"Sure Jakey, hehe." She took his hand and they frolicked to the…Kitchen, WHAT?!?!

Ringo: What is wrong with the prompter? Nothing? Oh. Okay…Oh, OH. I get it. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. I forgot. I, like, totally spaced out. Thanks for catching that for me. Yeah, mmm, I get it. Okay, guys. I GET IT. I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. You can stop telling me now. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, Joe. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Back to the story!

They scampered into the kitchen and after a few hours emerged, sweating and panting like crazy.

"Well, I think we're all done."

"Yes." Bella agreed. The sat down on the table and placed a sandwich on the table.

"Gosh, who would have thought making a love sandwich could be so tiresome?" Jacob asked, and then took a bite out of the monstrous sandwich.

"It's so worth it. I mean, peanut butter, jelling, banana's, and small drops of chocolate all on white bread? What more could you want. Well, now that were done making 'Love,' how am I supposed to give birth to said babies?"

"Hmm…I don't know. Why bother? It's pointless."

"Yeah. You're right. It's pointless. Hey, let's go to the carnival!"

"Okay!"

And the two skipped off.

Ringo: Wow. That sucked. It made NO sense. Wtf? Okay, you know what? I won't even bother.