Before I go to sleep
Chapter three: binding them by misery
A/N: I'm going to start writing the prequel tomorrow so stay tuned.
Aaron started to relax after reading the message Rossi had sent him, he hadn't gotten any sleep when he got home so decided to head to the office and busy himself with files he hadn't completed, finding himself just staring at the pages instead of completing them.
_Before I go to sleep_
JJ had noticed Hotch's light on and decided to go talk to him about why he hadn't answered his phone when she had called, knocking on the door she quietly waited for him to let her in or acknowledge her presence, hearing the quiet "enter" she opened the door and entered the room instantly noticing the fear and worry filling the air.
"Hotch, are you okay?" she asked, quietly looking carefully at her boss, his eyes had large dark circles, the suit he was wearing was wrinkled and his tie wasn't even tied properly. He realized what she was doing and slightly glared at her.
"JJ, nothing is the matter, I just need to finish these and head home" he said looking back to the files. JJ nodded and quickly left and the obvious dismissal, walking back to her desk she felt Morgan and Prentiss's eyes on her, looking towards them Morgan lifted his eyebrow while she just shrugged, not really knowing what was going on.
_Before I go to sleep_
Rossi watched as Penelope still lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed, he barely noticed her finger twitch, but seemed to notice Aaron walk through the door.
"They started taking her out of the coma last night, earlier than they were thinking but with the rate she has progressed they found it was better" Rossi stated as Aaron took a seat on the other side of the bed.
"When do they think she will wake up?" Aaron asked looking at Rossi a small glint of hope in his eyes.
"Not for a while a few hours to a day at most" Rossi said noting the glint grow a bit brighter if that was even possible.
_Before I go to sleep_
As she felt the darkness around her lift, she slowly fought the fog that clouded her vision making out the silhouettes of her co-workers as she slightly opened her eyes, the distinct hospital smell filling her nose.
"no,no,no…NO" she yelled internally, the thought of one of her team members finding her tore at her heart but made her angry that they hadn't let her die. Trying to touch her throbbing head she realised that her arm wouldn't move, looking down at her arms she found them tied down to the sides of the bed and the bandages wrapped around her wrists bloody, groaning at the fact that she restrained to the bed and still alive she barely heard his voice as she shut the world around her out so that she would not have to go through the pain her team had inflicted on her.
_Before I go to sleep_
Flashback:
"Hey baby girl, wanna come to the bar with us?" Morgan asked as he stood in the doorway of her office.
"Sorry, I can't not today…" before she could say anymore the nausea became too much as she rushed to the bathroom, just making it in time to the toilet, feeling the large hand rubbing her back as she leaned over dry-heaving.
"Woah, baby girl you alright?" Derek asked continuing to rub her back.
"No I'm not alright, I'm sick and tired of keeping this a secret …" she replied.
"Derek, I'm pregnant" she answered. Derek didn't know why but anger ran through his body before he finally exploded.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PREGNANT, YOU HAVENT BEEN WITH ANYONE SINCE LYNCH…. YOU HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND DIDN'T YOU" she stared at him jaw hanging as he called her every name under the sun, tears pricked at her eyes as her best friend made her feel like some floozy when he was supposed to be glad and offer to help her through this. When he finally stopped, she let her own anger be known.
"YOU, DEREK MORGAN HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER TRUSTED YOU, AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING SO HYPOCRITICAL RIGHT NOW, MAYBE WE CAN JUST END THIS FRIENDSHIP RIGHT NOW, NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE CAN TALK TO ME LIKE YOU JUST DID!" she yelled right back before storming off, she left that day and headed home and that was the first time she ever had the urge to kill herself.
_Before I go to sleep_
The first time she had finally caved into the urge she was disgusted with herself, she would wear long sleeves to hide it from the others, they hadn't seemed to notice as it was in the late winter but even after they had healed she still felt self-conscious about them and whenever she wore a dress she would apply a good amount of foundation to cover them just so they were barely visible. Sometimes when she was alone she would lightly brush her fingers across the scars and just wonder if she would ever give into another urge and time after time she did.
_Before I go to sleep_
Aaron snapped to attention as he heard the low groan coming from Penelope, her eyes slightly open.
"Penelope, talk to me, come on Garcia" Aaron said squeezing her hand. His heart clenched as she continued to ignore him and Rossi as they tried get her to talk, he noticed her catatonic state and decided to stop as he realised she wouldn't be talking anytime soon. Rossi however continued but finally gave up after 3 hours of trying to get her to talk, the doctors checked on her not long after she awoke but even they couldn't get her to talk. Days past and with Penelope awake but still not talking Dave decided to go back to work while Aaron stayed by her side slightly encouraging her to talk.
A/N: another chapter done! Another one soon
But for now bye bye
xxxxxSarahxxxxx
