It had been a long and tiring day, and Tony was ready to go to sleep. Early. For him, anyways. First, he'd woken up early, and hadn't been able to fall back asleep. Then Bruce had wanted his opinion on…something he really didn't care about. Then the Avengers had a mission. Then they had a meeting with Fury…then they had to leave the meeting to deal with some sort of giant slug things. They picked up lunch on the way back to the meeting (which was easily the dullest and disproportionately long meeting Tony had ever attended). Finally, they'd been dispersed and allowed to go home. Rhodey called, asking Tony for more advice (because he's great for that stuff) and Tony nearly fell asleep during the conversation.
So Tony was going to sleep early. Pepper wasn't there; she was away for a meeting for Stark Industries. Bruce and Steve were living in the Tower too, but Tony didn't particularly care what they were doing. He was fairly certain that Bruce was heading to bed, too.
Tony lay on the bed, relaxed. He could feel himself drifting off, his thoughts becoming quieter and cloudy as they bordered his dreams. Every few minutes he'd hear a door close, or something. He heard something else, closer. He couldn't place just what it was…
Then he realized what it was. It was heavy breathing.
It was inside his room.
Tony opened his eyes nervously, taking a deep breath. I'm overreacting, he thought. Maybe I'm dreaming it.
But he still heard breathing…and a snore.
Tony looked up, to the vent.
Then he screamed.
"The hell?!"
The person in the vents woke up, and tried to jump, hitting themselves. "Damn," the person muttered quietly.
Tony recognized that voice. Now he was mad.
"Barton? What the hell are you doing?"
Barton was silent for a few moments, as if hoping Tony would go away if he didn't answer.
"I know you're still there, Barton. In my vents. My vents. Tell me why you're in my vents. Please. Before I completely freak out."
"Sorry," came his muffled voice.
"Sorry? Nope, uh, uh. That doesn't cut it. You were in my vents. Above me. While I was sleeping. Do you have any idea how creepy that was?"
"Tony," Barton groaned.
"I could hear you breathing. It was like a horror movie." No response. "Just get down here!"
Tony's door burst open as Steve came in, shield at the ready.
"What's going on?"
"Legolas here," Tony ranted as Clint came down from the vent, "was sleeping in the vent above me. I heard him breathing, looked up and saw someone in the vents, and like any semi-sane person would do, I screamed."
"I said sorry," Clint grumbled.
"Sorry doesn't cut it, buddy."
Steve snorted, restraining laughter.
"Oh, yeah, it's so funny, it's hilarious. Cause he wasn't in your vent."
"JARVIS?" Steve tentatively called. He was still getting used to the AI.
"Sir?"
"How long has Clint been in the vents?"
"He entered the vents at approximately 6:35 PM this afternoon."
Tony turned to glare at him exasperatedly. "So when we all came here for dinner, you decided you'd spend the night?"
Clint winced. He was oddly silent.
"Would you like me to inform you of the previous nights Mr. Barton has spent inside the tower?" JARVIS inquired.
Steve raised an eyebrow at Clint, while Tony gaped at Clint, mouthing 'other nights?'
"Sure, JARVIS."
"Over the past week, Mr. Barton has spent Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday inside the vents."
Tony was fuming. "That's almost the whole week, Barton! In the vents! In the vents? Do you SHIELD agents have any notions of how creepy that is?"
"Again, sorry," Clint finally spoke. "But SHIELD doesn't have anything to do with this—I swear I'm not spying on you or anything." The master marksman looked like a kicked puppy. Steve immediately felt awful.
"It's fine," he told his teammate. "Just…let us know when you want to stay over. It's not like we're opposed to having you around." He looked at Tony, who nodded grudgingly.
"I like you," Tony stated. "You're great company and all, I'd just like to know when you're here. Seriously, tell me. And then you can have an actual bed when you're here." Tony scowled. "Why are you here?"
Clint looked embarrassed. "Look…I," he stopped, and put his hand to his face. "Just promise not to laugh."
"I promise," Steve instantly said.
"I don't."
"Stark."
"Alright, I promise, I promise."
Clint took a breath. "Okay, well…The thing about being an assassin for a barely known, kinda shady not-quite-government government affiliate is that you aren't exactly supposed to tell your landlords about that stuff. So…I didn't…and then last week my work followed me home. Everyone was okay, a least. But, uh, land lord. He was kinda pissed. He really didn't care that I helped save the world, he just didn't want me to attract anything else. I guess I can't really blame him, I mean, I can't guarantee that I won't bring something home with me, and I can't guarantee that nobody will be hurt next time…"
"Clint," Steve interrupted. "Are you saying that you were evicted?"
Clint nodded miserably. "I've been looking for another place. I've been looking since he gave me notice…"
"You should have had enough time to find another place." Tony frowned.
"Heh. Well…his daughter came from Ohio…I had a conversation with her before I knew who she was…" Clint bit his lip.
Steve stared. "What?"
Tony understood. "Ah, seriously, Clint? You flirted with the daughter of the land lord who was already evicting you?"
"I didn't know who she was!" Clint protested. "Anyways, I'm sorry about being in the vents. I really am looking for a permanent place. Being in your tower was never meant to be a permanent thing."
"Why not?" Steve said. He looked to Tony questioningly.
"Ah, come on. Are you kidding me?"
"He needs a place. We've got plenty of room." And now Captain America was pulling puppy eyes on him.
"Fine. Fine. Clint, you can move in. And you know what? When we next see Thor and Natasha, we should invite them, too."
Clint brightened. "Really? I can stay?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Just…find somewhere that isn't in the vents. Now. I wanna go to bed. Now. Shoo."
Well, I hope that was good...Heh.
Two more chapters.
In other news: I'll probably update Harry Romanoff Barton within the next few days. I also hope to update Gambler's Stone within the week... I've started another fic, for A Song of Ice and Fire, and I'll try to get the next chapter up quickly. I've also got an idea for a humor fic for Avengers in my head...
As always, reviews are appreciated.
