Chapter Three

Veni Veni Emmanuel


Veni, veni Emmanuel;
Captivum solve Israel,
Qui gemit in exilio,
Privatus Dei Filio.
Gaude! Gaude! Emmanuel,
Nascetur pro te, Israel!


Christmas Eve
11:00 PM

Though she hated being out in a car at night, Kate allowed Rick to talk her into accepting her father's invitation for her and the twins to go with him and Jessica to the Christmas Eve midnight mass. She knew that her husband was up to something and had been for the last couple days. He had been quiet and was acting strangely. Hanging up the phone when she came in the room, leaving for work early and coming back late with no mention of where he had been.

At first she had been worried it was another child abduction case and he was hiding it from her. She knew she had been a freaked out paranoid wreck the Christmas after the twins were born, jumping at shadows, carrying Rick's Glock 30 wherever she went, especially when she was feeding the twins. Only when she had seen the look of abject horror on his face after he had tugged the .45 caliber handgun out of the back waistband of her jeans ejected the clip and ejected the round from the barrel, had she realized how far she had fallen. Feeding her babies, while carrying a loaded pistol with the safety off and a round in the pipe.

She repressed a shudder at the thought, but rejected that out of hand, he had never been that good of an actor. She knew all of his tells when he was working one of those. He became harder, darker, more focused. He could not have hidden that from her if he tried.

The more she thought about it, though, the more she realized that her father had been acting just as strangely. When she and the twins had been helping her parents trim their tree, she now realized that the angel she remembered from her childhood had been replaced with a new one with no explanation, along with several ornaments she had personally helped him put away last year. He had told her that he couldn't find the box they were in, but for a lawyer her dad was a really bad liar. Good thing he worked in contract law.

Her mother had given no indication that anything was amiss, regardless of the fact that said missing angel and ornaments had been in her family for nearly four generations. Kate had thought nothing of it at the time, merely assumed that she still had gaps in her memory and dad hadn't wanted to push her this time of year. Though "Jessica Bennet" was much better at concealing her intentions than her father. Better even than when she had been known by her real name, Johanna Beckett.

She sensed no real duplicity from either Rick or her parents though, only a very mild conspiracy of silence. Whatever it was that Rick was up to, she implicitly knew was to their benefit, and the thought that he had obviously sought the counsel of her parents, especially her father, made her feel less apprehensive about it.

She knew Rick was having trouble coming to terms with doing Christmas this year. If he was seeking help from one of the few men he knew who had had to take the same first steps in this direction not so long ago, then she chose to take it as an encouraging sign that he was moving in the right direction. She was certain that everything would be revealed to her in time.

She hated secrets. It had once been her job to ferret out secrets and shine the light of truth upon lies to bring killers to justice. Her deep seated need to know the truth had been how she had first truly come to know the man she was now married to. But if it helped him come to terms with his own demons, she would let him have this one.

For now.


Rick had been awestruck when Kate had come out of their bedroom dressed to go to midnight mass with her parents. While she had been preparing for the evening he had been corralling the twins. They had been put down for a nap to prepare for the evening and it was his job to get them dressed and ready. Kate had taken great care in selecting their outfits and they were excited to have a night out with Nana Jessica and Papa Jim. They hardly got to see their grandmother and wanted so badly to impress her.

Kate was dressed conservatively to be sure, but she looked so classy and elegant that part of him longed to be going with her and the kids to mass, even though he had long ago given up any belief in a higher power. She was gorgeous in the near floor length Versace dress, the matching wrap and her impossibly high heels. It had been months since he had seen her dressed up and the sight of her took his breath away, almost distracting him from his plans for the evening. Plans that depended on her and the children being out of the loft for a couple hours.

As soon as he had personally placed them in the town car with Sergei, he was on his phone to the only people he knew who would not let the cat out of the bag. Thankful she preferred the Christmas morning mass.

"Lisbon, this is Rodgers. Tell Patrick we are a go, two hours and counting."


As the mass neared it's conclusion, Kate sat near the back flanked with her children on either side of her listening to the soloist performing in Latin Tears rolling down her cheeks as she could not help but think of her husband.

Veni, veni Emmanuel; Captivum solve Israel,

(o come o come Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel)

She thought about how Rick had been captive to his own grief for nearly as long as she had mourned her mother and pined for a father who had abandoned her for a bottle for nearly half a decade.

Qui gemit in exilio, Privatus Dei Filio.

(That mourns in lonely exile here, Until the Son of God appear)

How in many respects he was alone in the solitary exile of his mourning. She had gotten back everything she had lost on that cold January evening so long ago. Her mother had come back from the dead, and her father was slowly gaining ground to become the man he used to be. But he had gotten nothing back these last few years, Alexis was still gone, still buried in the cold hard ground. That he was trying to set aside something she did not have to to mark this holiday. Yet he was still trying to overcome something that cannot be overcome. For her. For their children. He was trying so hard.

Gaude! Gaude! Emmanuel, Nascetur pro te, Israel!
(Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel, shall come to thee o Israel.)

She knew it was up to her and their children, her parents and Martha, all of the people who love him to help him find himself and his joy again. To help him finally find some measure of peace from the dark cloud that he had carried with him since that dark January morning in 2002.


Johanna and David were each holding one of her hands, their eyes glued to their mother. They were normally very active children, but they knew something was off with mommy and they were doing their level best to be good so as not to upset her. They both knew this was somehow connected to "being patient with daddy" but they weren't sure how, and the tears rolling from her eyes during the service effected them deeply, so they each held one of her hands as they snuggled into their mother.

All they knew was that mommy was sad, and they wanted to help her feel better...like daddy would if he were here. Daddy made everything better, mommy had told them so for as long as they could remember.


Kate took a moment to compose herself before she stepped out of the town car, taking Sergei's outstretched hand to help her rise from the backseat before turning and reaching for her children who had fallen asleep in their car seats on the way home and had only now woke up.

Rick was waiting for them with Eduardo at the front door, reaching out to take Johanna from her grandmother's arms and bidding Kate's parents goodnight before heading indoors out of the evening's chill. The two of them carrying their sleepy children into the elevator.

As they reached the door to the loft Kate opened her mouth to speak, wanting to let him know that he didn't need to go overboard, that they could make small steps this year. When he lead her in the door, however the only thing that came out was a quiet "Oh."

Before her eyes was a winter wonderland captured in microcosm in the loft. Garland was wound around the bannister and and hung from every surface. The only way she could describe it was that the North Pole had exploded in their home. Her eyes instantly drawn to the wreathes hanging from every surface including the windows. She stepped into the living room turning full around eyes wide with wonder at what Rick had done.

She stopped in her tracks when her eyes fell on the tree, presents piled high underneath it and fully decorated with ornaments she was certain had not seen the light of day since 2001. Her eyes moved up the boughs of the seven foot tall Douglas Fir until she caught sight of the angel, her mother's angel, at the top of the tree fully lit up in a place of honor. Kate stepped forward to the brightly lit tree until she saw the ornaments that had been missing when she had been at her parents' house, interspersed with his. Combined like their families had been.

She turned to Rick, a look of surprised wonder written all over her face as he drew her in for a kiss then pressed his forehead to hers as they stood in front of the tree.

"Merry Christmas, Kate" he whispered in her ear.


**Author's note** Thus ends the Agent Rodgers portion of this retrospective. I hope you liked where I went with it. Borrowed a bit from "Secret Santa" for the ending. I'll have the next vignette soon. The rest will likely be one shots.