A/N—Here's the rest of Chapter Two. Enjoy!
Greg storms out of the bathroom, into Peter and Bobby's room, looking for Bobby. He's yelling his youngest brother's name. He searches the bedroom, the closet, under the bed.
Greg: Bobby! Bobby, where are you?! Come on out. You can't hide forever.
Peter: Hey, what are you doing under there?
Greg: Looking for Bobby. He gets out from under the bed. I'm gonna clobber him!
Peter: What? He sees Greg and starts laughing. Hey, did you know your hair's orange? Greg fumes. How did it happen? Peter's bewildered.
Greg: Shows Peter the bottle. Bobby's hair tonic!
Peter: You should be a stand out student at graduation. He's trying hard not to laugh.
Greg: Very funny.
Peter is cracking up. Greg hits him with his towel. He storms out of the room and into the girls' bedroom looking for Bobby. Marcia is showing off one of her dresses to Jan. They take a look at Greg and can't believe it.
Greg: Has either of you seen Bobby?
Marcia: Greg! What happened to your hair?
Greg: Bobby's hair tonic.
Jan: Fingers some of his hair. Bobby's hair tonic! You mean you bought some of that junk?
Greg: Yeah, only 'cause I kinda felt sorry for him. Fuming. Now I really feel sorry for him 'cause he's about to have a fatal accident.
Marcia: Greg, do you wanna borrow this? She pretends to hand him her orange sweater. It'll match your hair.
The girls bust out laughing at the absurdity of it all. Greg storms out of the room, again, in search of Bobby.
Cindy's on the service porch feeding her rabbits. Greg rushes in, fuming.
Greg: Have you seen Bobby?
Cindy: Still paying attention to the rabbits. No. She looks at her brother aghast. Eww! What happened to your hair?
Greg: This junk! He shows her the bottle. Oooh! I'm gonna tear him limb from limb when I find him. He runs out of the room, still in search for Bobby, a.k.a. mud.
Cindy shakes her head and resumes feeding Romeo and Juliet. Carol comes in to check on her daughter and her project. She puts her arms around her daughter.
Carol: How's everything going in "Bunnyland?"
Cindy: Not so good. I can't figure out which one is Romeo and which one is Juliet.
Carol: Pointing to one of the rabbits. Oh, well Juliet's the fat one. She's the one that's gonna have the babies.
Cindy: They're both fat. Feeling a bit defeated.
Carol: Well, hang in there, kiddo.
She leaves the room to go find Mike. Cindy continues to feed and water the rabbits, still not sure who is who.
Mike and Carol are in Mike's den. Carol is modeling one of her maternity dresses and having a lot of fun modeling clothes and partially at the fact her husband still hasn't wrapped his head completely around the fact that they're expecting.
Carol: So, do you like? She turns around in a circle so he can get a good look.
Mike: Gulps. He's still a bit in shock. Yeah, very nice! Inside, "I'm not ready for this. She's in a maternity dress. This is all to real now. I'm gonna be a father again." He looks at his wife, who is beaming.
Carol: Laughing. I didn't think I'd ever wear maternity clothes again. I thought after Cindy I was done. But, here we are!
Mike: Brings her into an embrace. Here we are. He mumbles something.
Carol: What?
Mike: Oh, nothing. He sighs and thinks to himself, "Ready or not, here we are."
They engage in a passionate kiss, which is quickly interrupted by Bobby dashing into the den and hiding underneath the drafting table.
Carol: What are you doing down there?
Bobby: Hiding from Greg.
Mike: Why?
Bobby: You don't know? He gets up.
Mike: Know what?
Bobby: A plan to eliminate one of your dependents. He points to himself. Me!
Carol: What are you talking about?
Greg: Dad, have you seen…Suddenly he bursts into the room and spots Bobby. There he is! He points to his brother.
Carol: Greg! What happened to your hair?!
Bobby hides behind his parents and Greg tries to rush him. They begin yelling at each other and nearly knock their mother off balance. Mike steadies his wife and separates the boys.
Greg: Holds out the bottle. THIS happened to my hair!
Carol: Oh Greg! Horrified.
Greg continues to yell at and chase Bobby, again, knocking Carol off balance. Mike intervenes.
Bobby: I'm gonna get killed!
Mike: We're NOT gonna have any bloodshed.
Bobby: Especially MY blood!
Carol: Greg, stop it! She tries to separate them.
Greg: Well, what am I gonna do about my hair?
Carol: I don't know. We'll try and figure something out.
Mike: Scolding their youngest son. I knew something like this was gonna happen.
Greg: Well, why didn't you tell me?
Mike: Here, lemme see the bottle. He takes the bottle and reads the label. There's an address. Look, let's call the "Neat and Natural Hair Company." Maybe this happened to some of their other customers.
Bobby: Good thinkin', dad!
Mike: Yeah, good thinkin'. Very annoyed. Look, I'll try information. He dials information.
Greg walks towards his brother, his index finger aimed at Bobby's chest. Bobby holds up his hands in panic and self-preservation.
Bobby: I'm sorry. I didn't know something like this was gonna happen.
Greg: Yeah, of course you couldn't know. He resigns himself to his fate.
Bobby: Yeah, of course not. It could've been worse!
Greg: VERY annoyed. I'd like to know how!!
Bobby: It could've turned green!
Greg: Yeah, that's real comforting.
Carol: Tries to create a semblance of peace between her sons. Okay, cut it out. Your father's on the phone right now.
Mike: On the phone. I see. He nods. Thank you, operator. He hangs up the phone. It isn't good news. Well, the "Neat and Natural Hair Company" had its phone disconnected. Oh Bobby, I knew it was going to be some shady kind of outfit.
Bobby: I was really a jerk to fall for an add in a magazine.
Greg: Well, what am I gonna do about tomorrow, huh? It's graduation!
Mike: Greg, have you tried to wash that stuff out of your hair?
Carol fingers a few locks, trying to figure out a solution too.
Greg: No, I've been too busy trying to look for this…dumbhead! For your sake, it had better work. He storms off to wash his hair.
Carol: Hugs her youngest son. Bobby, you'd better say your prayers.
Greg washes his hair in the sink in his room. He looks in the mirror. Unfortunately, his hair is an even brighter shade of orange. Peter is also in the room.
Greg: It didn't work. I washed it five times and it didn't work!
Peter: Well, at least you've got squeaky clean hair. I bet it grows out in six to eight months. He begins cracking up.
Greg: Fantastic. Now what am I gonna do in the meantime?
Peter: Well, you can shave your head and pretend you're a bowling ball. He starts to leave and meets Carol coming up the stairs. He looks like Lucille Ball! He's still cracking up.
Carol: It didn't wash out, huh, honey?
Greg: If anything, it got brighter orange.
Carol: Well look, your father called the Better Business Bureau about the "Neat and Natural Hair Tonic Company."
Greg: Well, what did they say?
Carol: Well, the FDA closed them down.
Greg: Well, now's a great time to find out.
Carol: Well, there is one consolation. Um, I mean outside of the colour, it's not gonna hurt your hair or your scalp.
Greg: Exasperated. Well, what about graduation?! I can't go out looking like this!!
Carol: Well, I do have a solution….it's a little embarrassing, but I think it might work.
Greg: Mother, I couldn't possibly get anymore embarrassed than I already am.
Carol takes Greg to her hair salon. Greg is mortified. He walks in wearing a skicap. The shop is very crowded.
Greg: Mom, if anybody sees me in here! Couldn't we just go home and let you do the dye job?
Carol: And make it look worse than it already is? No Greg, we've gotta let a professional do it. Look, wait here. I'll see if I can get them to do it in private. Okay?
Greg: Panicking. Thank you. And hurry up.
Carol: Okay.
Greg tries to find an obscure corner so as not to be seen. He hides behind a magazine. However, two of his classmates walk in the salon and spot him.
Gretchen: It's Greg!
Suzie: Greg Brady, in a beauty parlour?
They walk over to him. Greg tries to hide behind the magazine.
Suzie: Hi Greg.
Greg: Hi Suzie, Gretchen. Trying to act nonchalant. Well, whacha doing here?
Suzie: Getting our hair done for graduation tonight. She fluffs her hair.
Gretchen: Well, what are you doing here?
Greg: Oh, uh, just waiting for my mother.
Suzie: Laughs a bit with curiosity. Isn't it a little warm to be wearing a skicap?
Greg: Not if you're going skiing. Trying to pretend it's a joke.
Gretchen: But there's no snow this time of year.
Greg: Well, no sense waiting 'till the last minute. He stands up, ushering them away. Uhh, don't let me hold you two girls up. I'm sure you've got more important things to do.
Suzie: Greg, you're acting really strange.
Gretchen: Weird is more the word.
Greg: Well, something's happened. Can you two keep a secret?
Suzie: Oh yeah.
Gretchen: Yeah.
Greg: Looks around, trying to spot his mother. You see, I came here with my mother because she has this problem. I, uhh, are you sure you can keep a secret?
Gretchen: Oh, sure!
Suzie: Positive.
Greg: Okay. He leads him toward the wall, into a huddle.
Carol comes out and spots her son with Gretchen and Suzie. She has no clue what he is talking about with the girls.
Carol: Greg, Greg. Listen, honey. Hi girls!
Suzie: HI!
Greg: Can she take care of it in private?
Carol: Bewildered at the thought of him sharing about his hair, since he's been making such a deal about it. Yes, but I thought it was our little secret.
Greg: Oh, don't worry. Suzie and Gretchen won't tell. He's grinning since he knows he snowed the girls and no one but he knows it.
Gretchen: Never!
Suzie: Wild horses couldn't drag it out of us.
Carol: Smiles at the girls for keeping things quiet. Sweet!
Greg: I'll see you at graduation, girls. He winks at them. Let's go, mom. He ushers his mother toward the back.
Carol: Bye!
Gretchen: Wow! Studies Carol. Could you tell that Mrs. Brady is wearing a wig?
Suzie: Never! Who would ever think that underneath it all, that poor woman's completely bald!
They stare at the door in disbelief.
Back at home, Alice is getting clothes out of the drier. Cindy enters, carrying the rabbit cage. She looks defeated.
Alice: Hi Cindy. How did it go at the pet shop?
Cindy: Awful! Mr. Kirby said that Juliet couldn't have babies.
Alice: What's her problem?
Cindy: She's not a her. He's a him.
Alice: That's quite a problem.
Cindy: Now I'm stuck with two Romeos and no Juliets.
Alice: I think you'd better change their names. How 'bout Romeo and Julius?
Cindy: Mr. Kirby won't buy back Romeo and Julius.
Alice: How 'come?
Cindy: He says he has too many rabbits already. Boy, am I a loser.
Bobby walks in with his bottles of hair tonic.
Bobby: You guys are about to watch a fortune go down the drain.
Cindy: What are you gonna do?
Bobby: Mom and dad told me to pour it all out. He begins to pour it out. There goes my millions. He sighs.
Alice: Well, that's life. She snaps her fingers. From Diamond Jim to Bankrupt Bobby. She pats Bobby on the back. Sorry about that, Bobby. She goes back into the kitchen.
Cindy: Tries to console her brother. I'm bankrupt too, Bobby.
Bobby: Oh yeah, how come?
Cindy: My rabbits can't have babies. Juliet's a boy. Mr. Kirby won't buy them back.
Greg walks in with a towel over his face and head.
Greg: Sounding annoyed. Okay, Bobby. He takes the towel off to reveal a repaired head of hair. He smiles a bit. You're off the hook.
Bobby: Excited. Hey Greg, you're hair's back to normal!
He turns to examine Greg's hair and accidentally begins pouring the tonic all over the rabbits.
Cindy: That's great! She turns to attend to her rabbits and looks in horror as they become covered in tonic. Bobby! Look what you're doing! She's now frustrated and sad.
Bobby: Panics. Uhh, I, uhh, listen, I'll get a towel and dry 'em out. He grabs Greg's towel and tries to dry the rabbits off.
Unfortunately, the rabbits are turning orange.
Cindy: Oh no! That stuff turned them orange.
Greg: Hey, don't worry about it. The tonic won't hurt 'em. Mom and dad checked them out.
Cindy: Yeah, but what am I gonna do with ORANGE RABBITS?!
Greg: Maybe mom will get 'em an appointment at the beauty parlour.
He smiles, throws the towel over his shoulder, and leaves the two youngest Bradys to deal with orange rabbits.
Bobby: Hatching an idea. I think I've got it.
Cindy: Afraid to ask. What?
Bobby: The solution to our millionaire problem!
Later on, Bobby and Cindy come running into the kitchen, excited! Mike and Carol's at the stove, cooking dinner
Bobby: That's fantastic! I knew it would work!
Cindy: Bobby's the greatest! He's a financial genius!
Carol: What happened? Wheredya get the check? Bobby shows her a check.
Bobby: We sold Cindy's rabbits back to Mr. Kirby at the pet shop.
Mike: I thought Mr. Kirby had enough rabbits.
Cindy: Enough ORDINARY rabbits; not orange ones. The pair are grinning from ear to ear.
Bobby: Neat and Natural orange!
Mike: Don't tell me those rabbits got into the shower with Greg!
Bobby: I got all my money back too!
Carol: How?
Bobby: See, I sold the rest of my hair tonic to Mr. Kirby so that he could make more orange rabbits. He's feeling proud of himself. It's harmless and it'll grow out. You said so yourself.
Mike: Acknowledging Bobby's right. Yeah.
Bobby: Turning to Cindy. You know, I've got an idea. If we buy a car load of rabbits and a car load of that hair tonic….
Cindy: Bobby, that's a fantastic idea!
Mike and Carol: Both glare at the pair. Bobby!
Bobby: How did I think of such a stupid idea.
Mike: That's better.
Cindy: What are we gonna do with the money?
Bobby: I know! I saw it in an ad in the newspaper! We can make a fortune raising worms!
They run off discussing how they can make their fortune. Mike and Carol shake their heads in disbelief and laugh.
That evening, the family returns from Greg's graduation.
Carol: Oh Greg, we're so proud of you graduating with honours. She gives him a big hug.
Mike: We're real proud of you, son. Shakes his son's hand then pulls him into a hug.
Greg: Thanks. He's beaming with excitement.
Alice: I'll break out the ice cream and cake so we can celebrate.
Carol: I'll help you, Alice!
Greg: Holds up his diploma! Hey hey, can you believe it?!
Marcia and Peter express their congratulations.
Peter: Have you decided what college you're going to yet?
Greg: No, not yet. Hey, you two are just gonna hafta wait to see who gets my room!
Marcia: Smiles smugly at her brothers. We'll just see about that!
She walks off to help with the festivities.
--End of Chapter Two--
