.
.
"My god, it's like trying to teach a rhino how to dance," Roan says. "You need to have some finesse, Major Casey. You can't just stomp around, pounding your chest like a bloody caveman!" Casey glares. Roan groans. "Good lord. My head is starting to hurt," Roan says. "I think I need a drink..."
They're at Roan Montgomery's place, a real James Bond type. He's training Casey in the art of seduction-something to do with wooing a Black Widow and getting access to a cipher. Sarah left to do recon on the hotel, so Ellie is left to sit at the bar, watching as Casey humiliate himself, over and over again. The latest insult is the Martini Sipping lesson, which Casey manages to blunder (again). "And you wonder why I failed you twice," Roan says.
"You failed me because of my partner, I can seduce people just fine," Casey says. Roan raises his eyebrows. Ellie surpresses a giggle.
"Ah, ma chérie," Roan says. He takes Ellie by the hand. "A beautiful woman all alone. Agent Casey. Why don't you do us the honor and demonstrate your...technique. If you can, that is," Roan says.
Casey blinks. "With Bartowski?" Casey asks.
"You are uncomfortable with her, I could sense it when you walked in together," Roan says. "Agent Walker tells me you are in a cover relationship together. Tell me: how is that going?"
Casey growls.
"Let me back things up a bit, shall we?" Roan says. "Have you kissed this lovely woman before?"
"Of course," Casey says.
"As your cover?" Roan says.
"Yes." Casey's eyes narrow.
"Well how about a demonstration?" Roan says.
Ellie glances back at Casey, whose shoulders are starting to tense. "I really don't see the point," Casey says.
"The point," Roan says, "is that you're going to seduce a very sophisticated, very erudite and very deadly woman. If you can't muster up a simple kiss with your partner, how can you expect to seduce the target? Answer me that, Agent Casey."
"Casey." Ellie touches his arm. "It's okay," Ellie says. "Just get it over with."
Casey frowns. Awkwardly, he dips forward and pecks Ellie on the cheek. "There," Casey says.
"Pathetic," Roan says.
"I kissed her, didn't I?" Casey says.
"The way you would kiss a geriatric woman; Agent Casey, this is a red-blooded female. An attractive, green-eyed vixen, just waiting to be taken and ravished...and you're just going to peck her on the cheek?" Roan says. "Tell me, are you attracted to her?"
"Of course not," Casey says. Ellie's eyes widen. Casey glances at her and backpeddles. "I mean, objectively, maybe. But I'm her handler-I'm not supposed to find her attractive," Casey says.
"Fair enough. How about this? I demonstrate on our young miss first; I'll show you the proper way to kiss, and then you follow. How does that sound?"
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Casey says. Roan beams.
"Good!" Roan says. "Then let's begin." He stands in front of Ellie. "Stand-like so!-just a finger's breadth away. Concentrate on her lips; see how they part, just aching to be touched. And with your hand, carefully brush back the hair from her face. She's in my sights now, she's pliant, just waiting to be taken! And just lean forward, and..."
And Roan kisses Ellie. It's a soft kiss, a nice kiss, and she melts a little before Roan parts.
"And that," Roan says. "Is how you kiss a woman." Casey rolls his eyes. "Care to take your turn, Major?"
Casey clenches his jaw. "I apologize for this in advance," Casey says.
"No apologies! Just do it," Roan says. Ellie (again) tries not to laugh.
Casey moves close. Awkwardly, he puts his hand against the small of Ellie's back. He brings her closer. "Good," Roan says. "Now brush the hair from her face. Remember what I taught you-"
"Okay, this is ridiculous, I'm not doing this," Casey says.
Roan sighs and rolls his eyes. "Agent Casey," Roan says. "How can you possibly expect to seduce the black widow when you can't even kiss your own partner? We are all counting on you! You have no choice. Now do it: kiss her!"
Casey does, and it's awkward. Roan frowns.
"Perhaps he should try kissing the other agent," Roan says, and he dials Sarah's number.
xXx
.
They're spending the night at Ellie's place again; as a part of the cover relationship, Casey and Ellie alternate sleeping over at each other's places. When she's at Casey's, Casey takes the pull-out couch while Ellie sleeps in the other room; at her place, however, they're obliged to share the same bed; it's a necessary evil, one that keeps their cover from being blown in case her brother accidentally wanders in the room.
Chuck and Lou aren't home yet, so Casey and Ellie have the place to themselves. "So Sarah says you finally kissed her," Ellie says. "How was it?"
Casey's eyes narrow. "It was a kiss," Casey says. Ellie twists her sleeves. "But Walker kisses everybody. It doesn't really count."
He tosses a pillow on the bed and sits next to her, heavily. Ellie turns. "Are you nervous?" Ellie asks.
"Nervous about what?"
"About tomorrow's mission," Ellie says. "You're supposed to seduce the Black Widow. You think you can do it?"
Casey grunts. "Of course I can," Casey says. And then. "Well...maybe."
"Do you want to practice?" Ellie asks.
"Practice what?" Casey pulls off a boot.
"Kissing," Ellie says. Casey stares at her.
"Don't be an idiot," Casey says, but Ellie can tell he's embarrassed. He lays down and yanks up the covers.
Time passes. It's quiet outside, and inside there's nothing but the ticking of the clock on Ellie's nightstand. Ellie is about to fall asleep when Casey turns. "Bartowski?"
"Hmm?"
"Were you...serious?" Casey asks. "About letting me practice?"
"Yeah, whatever you need," Ellie says. She shifts her weight away from him and moves to turn on the light.
"Wait," Casey says. "Leave it off."
Ellie knits her brow. "Why?" Ellie asks.
Casey doesn't answer at first, and then: "It's too much like a spotlight."
"...oh."
"Like in an interrogation," Casey says.
"I see," Ellie says. She touches Casey's hip; he doesn't seem to notice. Finally, he shifts his body to the other side so that he's facing her fully; the bedsheets rustle with the movement, and Ellie realizes they're lying awfully close to each other. She catches her breath when he reaches out to brush the hair from her face. He's looking at her lips. "Casey..."
They kiss. It's softer and a lot less awkward this time-perfect, actually-and when they finally break apart, Ellie remembers to breathe.
"Well that was better," Ellie says. And Casey's looking at her with hooded eyes. He's breathing hard and suddenly they're kissing again, harder now, hungrier, the palms of his hands pressing hard against her back. Ellie rolls over and it's only when Casey's on top of her that they realize oh my god what the hell are we doing? and the shock of it wrenches them apart. Casey jerks away and Ellie pulls the covers around her, tight.
"Casey-"
"Don't look at me!" Casey says. He shoves a pillow between his legs. "Bartowski," Casey says, through gritted teeth. "This didn't happen!"
"Casey I'm sorry-"
"Goddamn Roan!" Casey says. "I can't believe I...Fuck me. Like a goddamn amateur..."
"Casey it happens," Ellie says. Then, a little desperately, "I'm a doctor, I've elicited erections before!"
Casey's eyes widen.
"I mean, in the ER, of course," Ellie says, quickly. "Just yesterday I was giving a rectal, and the patient got a little too excited about having my finger up his butt. This stuff happens! And don't even get me started on hernia exams," Ellie says. "Sometimes they salute you, and you just gotta act professional..."
"Did you just call a hard-on a 'salute'?" Casey asks. Ellie stares at him from the bed.
"Maybe," Ellie says. She bites her lip. "C'mon, Casey. You're a guy. Whatever. It happens. Just come back to bed."
Casey stares. "It doesn't mean anything?"
"No," Ellie says. "It doesn't."
"This doesn't compromise our relationship?"
"Of course not," Ellie says. "I could make your balls jump too, that doesn't mean anything either." Casey's eyes widen. "Cremaster reflex," Ellie says. "ER doc, remember?"
"What about Walker?" Casey says. "This whole thing is on surveillance, what about that?"
"She's probably asleep. And Sarah's super nice, if I ask her to erase tonight's tapes, she will. She's done it before," Ellie adds. "Not all of my life is subject to eyes of the US government."
Ellie watches Casey still fighting his embarrassment. He puts on a stoic face. "And you're okay with this?" Casey says. "With what happened?"
"It's biology," Ellie says, lamely. "Casey come to bed. Okay? We can pretend this never happened."
Reluctantly, Casey moves back from the floor and sits heavily on the bed. It's a few minutes before he lays down again, pulling the blanket around his shoulders. Hesitantly, Ellie touches his shoulder. Casey jerks away, as if he's been branded by a hot poker. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I don't know," Ellie says. Her fingers sink into his shoulder and she pulls herself closer to him. "Spooning you, I guess. In case Chuck comes in."
Casey clenches his jaw, but he relaxes against her, lets her pull herself against his back and rest her arm around his waist. "As long as this is just for cover," Casey says.
"It is," Ellie says. Impulsively, she plants a little kiss on Casey's shoulder. It's the most natural thing in the world. "Goodnight, Casey."
"Goodnight," Casey says, and Ellie gives him a little squeeze.
She falls asleep with her face pressed up between his shoulder blades.
