Three
When Edward returned at midday, he had clearly showered and changed for our date. His hair was damp and disheveled, presumably rough-dried with a towel, and his face clean shaven.
He was so beautifully distracting, it took all my effort to concentrate on locking my door.
As I got into his car, I looked back into the trunk. His mattress had been rolled up and the bags and boxes rearranged, probably to make the weight more evenly balanced and maybe to disguise that fact that it was his home.
Noticing that the rear windows were indeed tinted, I recalled something from the previous night.
"Edward, how do you manage to sleep without curtains?"
He looked sideways at me, with a small smile on his face.
"In the beginning, I tried every method I could think of to black out the windows - hung up T-shirts, cut up pieces of cardboard, even bought a variety of shields and shades - but after a few weeks I stopped bothering and allowed myself to adjust to the natural rhythm of the day."
"But what about privacy? You know, for changing your clothes and... um... stuff."
He sniggered for a moment before schooling his face to answer my question seriously.
"I usually sleep in my day clothes, swapping jeans, if I'm wearing them, for sweatpants. I don't put clean clothes on until after I've been able to wash, but I'm pretty adept at changing my underpants under a blanket when I need to, Bella."
I turned my flushed face to the window and he laughed, as he parked the car.
We spent the afternoon following a trail through the wooded area of the park until we found a secluded place to sit and eat. Edward had made us some peanut butter and grated carrot sandwiches on seeded bread and had bought some crisp, tart apples, which he cut up with a penknife, to eat with slices of sharp cheddar cheese and walnuts.
He explained that, most of the time, he lived simply on fresh foods such as bread, cheese, fruit and raw vegetables. He kept a store of nuts, dried fruit and crackers in his car and could cook oatmeal and other grains in his Thermos flasks, using water boiled in his car kettle. He didn't want to chance using his camping stove anywhere in town, for fear of drawing too much attention to himself, so would drive out to the Tillamook Forest instead and forage for wild greens to use in omelettes and stews.
We walked back in silence through the trees, listening to the birds and the crunch of dead leaves and twigs underfoot. It was peaceful and soothing and I liked it very much.
When he dropped me back home, just as it was getting dark, I felt as though I could think clearly for the first time in ages.
...
We continued to date for a while, mostly on the weekends.
His choices were always simple with minimal expense, such as a stroll in the park with a picnic, followed by us sitting huddled together under a tree - him drawing in his sketchbook and me writing thoughts down in a notebook. As neither of us had siblings, we were used to being alone and were comfortable with long silences. We made good creative companions for each other.
He took me foraging in the forest one Sunday and together we cooked a nettle and sorrel risotto, which was much more delicious than anything my mother had ever attempted.
I took him to see a couple of movies at the small theatre in town and for two or three meals out in restaurants.
On rainy days, we spent hours browsing in the secondhand bookstore, but he still didn't buy any books. I began to wonder if he had a photographic memory.
Sometimes, I would cook us a meal, experimenting with various vegetarian recipes. I enjoyed cooking for such an appreciative guest, but Edward never stayed the night in my apartment and we never moved beyond affectionate hugs and kisses.
Then one Saturday morning, he arrived unexpectedly at my door, duffle bag in hand, looking truly homeless for the first time. His hair was greasy and matted and his usual scruff now a full beard. His clothes were dirty and I couldn't help but notice that he didn't smell so good.
"There's been a change of management at the fitness centre," he said. "I can't get past the desk without a membership card anymore. Could I use your bathroom, Bella, please."
About half an hour later, a clean shaven Edward walked into the kitchen, looking and smelling much better - absolutely gorgeous to be honest - but he still had a serious expression on his face.
He sat down at the table and I poured him a coffee.
"I'm leaving, Bella."
"What?"
I stood leaning against the counter with my coffee cup halfway to my mouth, staring at him.
"I don't think I can stay in this town anymore, it's too small and word spreads quickly. I think it's time I moved on."
"You could use the parking lot at the swimming pool. It doesn't cost much for a swim, even if all you want to do is have a shower."
"I was refused entry." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "There's a limit to how long I can stay in one place before someone works out my secret and people don't see what I do as a choice, they just see a homeless man and assume the worst."
"Where will you go?" My hand shook as I set my coffee cup behind me on the worktop.
"I don't know, maybe Portland again for a while. It was easier to blend in there and pick a different place to sleep each night, but I hate how busy it is."
I didn't want him to leave. I was falling in love with him.
"Stay. With me. Here." My throat constricted as I forced the words out.
He looked at me, staring right into my eyes as though he were trying to read my mind.
"How do you mean?"
I could feel my chest tightening and tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
"You can stay here - in my apartment," I said, struggling to keep my voice steady. "Camp out on the floor, sleep on the sofa, you can even have my bed. I don't care which, just please don't leave."
I forced myself to breathe in and out while I waited minutes for his answer. Was it such a difficult decision?
"Okay," he said finally. "I'll stay."
I needed to compose myself, so I turned my back to him and made us each a sandwich, while my poor heart and lungs recovered their normal rhythm.
As we sat eating, something occurred to me.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"I thought you had a membership to the fitness centre."
"Er, no."
"How did you manage to use their facilities for so long without one?"
"Excessive charm," he said, looking up from his sandwich. "I think the girls on the desk rather liked seeing the before and after and apparently I have a great ass - ouch, Bella, that hurt!"
...
It worked for a while.
His possessions made it into my flat, but never quite made it out of their bags and boxes. His clothes didn't find their way into my closet, dresser or laundry basket, his toiletries were always neatly contained in a bag, his sketchbooks did not litter my coffee table and Edward - Edward did not at any time attempt to get into my bed.
He was the tidiest, cleanest, most organised roommate I'd ever had. It was almost as if he wasn't living there at all.
He carried on much as before, except he had hot water at the ready in the mornings and somewhere warm to go to in the evenings. I offered him my laptop to set up his own website, but I never saw him using it.
He worked with his cousin some days and on others, he would take himself off for a long walk in either the park or the woods just out of town and fill his sketchbooks with drawings.
At the same time, he began to get a good look at what my life really consisted of - work, work, sleep and more work. I left home early and came back late, drained, uncommunicative and increasingly snappy. Within a couple of weeks, he was asleep on his camping mattress on the living room floor, more often than not, by the time I arrived home.
With little time in the evenings, my Saturdays were still filled with chores, but we continued to spend Sundays together and those days were wonderful.
...
About six weeks after he moved in, there was a departmental change at work and two senior people resigned on the spot. The stress was getting to everyone as our new boss redistributed the extra workload and, since I was now the most experienced member of her team, she gave me the more important and complex tasks.
When I finally got home at the end of the day, Edward was sitting at my kitchen table, waiting for me.
"You can't go on like this, Bella," he said, before I'd even had a chance to take off my coat. "You're driving yourself into the ground."
"What the fuck am I supposed to do?" I shouted. "This isn't what I wanted. I hate it, but I haven't got a choice right now. People are depending on me, Edward, I have to go to work."
"Nobody is indispensable, Bella, you could - "
"Don't! You have it so easy. You've no idea how hard it is for me."
"You do have a choice, Bella."
Without another word, he stood up, kissed my forehead and then calmly walked out of the room. Seconds later, I heard the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs and the main door opening and closing after him.
I slumped down on a chair and started to sob.
When my tears had finally abated, I looked around the kitchen. Nothing was out of place. Everything was exactly as it had been before Edward moved in.
I jumped up and rushed into the living room, then checked the utility area and the bathroom. There was not a single box, bag or item of Edward's in my apartment.
What had I done?
