2
Bella:
Pulling into la push in the pounding rain, I start to think this was all heading for disaster. What was I even planning to say to him? Renesmee is upset, talk to her? Would that be enough? I shuddered at the thought of how complicated all this was becoming, how Jacob must be feeling. As I pulled in through the blanket of rain covering the windscreen I could see a figure pacing in front of the house; Jacob. He was there as expected, even though he basically lived at our house and had his own room at Carlisle's, whenever he was missing I knew I could find him where he felt most comfortable; close to the pack.
I jumped out of the car, suddenly needing to comfort him, I still couldn't stand to see him suffer and I could tell that he was suffering.
Jacob heard me coming before I reached him, which was impressive considering how fast I move, he turned and looked at me for a split second and then turned his face down fiercely. I hadn't seen him like this in a long time; his eyes were hard and steady. I tried to catch his gaze; he did not seem angry, but concentrated, as if he were trying to hold something in. I approached him, determined but the closer I got the further he edged away.
"Of course she sent you." He muttered, distancing himself from me.
"No one sent me Jake" I lied, "I wanted to check you were alright. Where have you been?" I asked him, trying to give him space.
He did not reply but stayed very calm, cold, looking downwards. We stayed like this for a while, me waiting for him to speak, him frozen in some sort of trance.
"Jacob!" I finally pressed, stepping towards him to steal his attention from the ground. His arms went up defensively, violently towards me, keeping me away.
"Don't touch me Bells!" he bellowed, the words stung. They shocked me into anger.
"What do you mean don't touch you? Talk to me, what's going on? …" He started pacing; his movements precise, swift. "Jake look at me!" the words came strong; I had to get him to talk to me fast before Nessie turned up while he was still in this rage.
To my surprise he looked up, mechanically, his eyes sorrowful. We stared at one another; his eyes softened and hardened as if he were fighting to decide whether he liked me or hated me.
"Jacob?" I let my defenses go, he wasn't happy to see me, and he didn't want to talk but that didn't mean I had to comply. "What's happened?" I pressed.
He took a sharp breath and spat his words out just as quickly. "He kissed her." He looked in pain, like the words cut him.
"I know" I established. "Edward heard Nessie…"
Jacob was furious; pacing, shaking, his body convulsing as if it were about to explode. "I want to break his neck!" He cut in, shouting violently. "I want him dead!" The shock from his anger paralyzed me in place, staring out at him, rain dripping from every edge of my body. I was suddenly very relieved I had gotten to him before Renesmee.
He looked at me fiercely, "I can't control this anger." He looked at me in agony. "I've never felt like this before, I might hurt someone!" He warned me. I could see hesitation in his eyes, as something helplessly played on his lips.
"What is it?" I questioned.
He stilled his body, as if he was channeling all his energy to be able to speak, "I can't be with her until she's stopped aging but I can't handle her kissing low life school boys." He admitted hysterically, "I mean, what do we even know about this guy?" he demanded.
I thought for a moment, I didn't really know anything about James; all I knew was that he was from her school and had a car. "That he goes to her school and has a car." I offered truthfully.
"Well at least I can wreck his car." Jake spat.
I laughed slightly, "See there's the silver lining."
He looked up at me surprised, a slight smile hiding in the corner of his mouth. I had calmed him slightly and this was my chance to talk.
"Jake." I tried soothingly, "I know this is awful for you but Renesmee is confused and she doesn't know why you are mad."
"Do you think I don't know that?! Why do you think I'm ignoring her? I don't know what to do." He admitted.
"Why don't you try explaining this all to her." I suggested hesitantly.
Jacob looked up at me startled; as if that was the last thing he had expected me to say. "What do you want me to tell her?" he queried.
I thought for a moment, "Well Edward thinks everything, about the imprint I mean. If she's kissing boys it means she should know." I explained slowly.
Jacob shook his head dismissively. "She's not ready. She's still young." He muttered.
As her mother I couldn't agree more but as a rational vampire, I could see flaws in his logic. "She's not a child anymore, she's a teenager Jake, remember when we were teenagers?" I tried.
He cringed; probably remembering that being a teenager meant a lot of sexual and romantic angst. "Yeah that's another secret that kills me to keep from her." He was referring to our history, which we had also decided to keep from Renesmee until she was old enough to understand.
"Let's deal with one life changing revelation at a time shall we." I joked.
He smirked at me, "She'll hate me for keeping it from her. Plus she likes this James now so…"
"Even more reason to tell her now. What would happen if they got serious? First it's kissing then it's…"
"Please don't torture me." Jake pleaded holding up his hand to silence me.
"Sorry but you should think about it. She's not a kid anymore, and I fell in love with Edward when I was in school. She likes James a lot, it could be risky to let it develop any further without her knowing the truth about you two." I reasoned.
I could tell I had worried him, he knew it was a risk to let her see James whilst she was still in the dark.
"I'll think about it." He gave as a final decision.
There was nothing else I could do with the time I had left; I had to get out of there before Nessie arrived. "O.k. well it's your call, but you'll need to tell her something because she's on her way up."
Jakes eyes burst wide with shock, "what do you mean she's on her way?!"
"Well she wanted to see you and so I said she should follow me up within the hour. So good luck with that… and no shouting". I added quickly as I ran to the car before he had time to react.
"I'm going to kill you later!" He called after me but I was already too far-gone for him to bother running after me.
