Chapter 3

Third chapter guys yay thanks all for review and keep it up by the way thnx a lot GoogleHeadOtaku

It's the next day and you find no one in the house, you check in every room but with no success, you decide to look outside and to your surprise the scenery has changed from the neighbourhood storm of last night into a bright and sunny beach where you spot the Authoress and her prison- ahem 'guests' near the water, you move towards them

You see that Sollux, Aradia, Tavros, Jade and Jake are playing in the shore with jake playing fetch with Jade and Sollux, Tavros and Aradia splashing around, with the rest waist deep in water swimming around and playing with a beach ball minus Crim and Karkat who were under an umbrella on the sand. Karkat wearing grey shorts with the Cancer sign on the sides and the Authoress wearing a black bikini with the sign of void in blue on both pieces, one on the left side of her top bikini and another smaller one on the bottom bikini, naturally showing the Authoress curves, although she is still busy with her music as usual to realise.

Crim: oh god I thought I got rid of you

Crim takes off her earphones

She knows she can't get rid of me

Crim: I thought you left

Crim just realises that I has been here up to the last chapter but was concentrating too much on the dares

Crim: well can you stop? People do get bored of your talking you know

You ignore the Authoress entirely and continue to narrate her

Crim: you know what I give up you win today's battle. For now

Karkat: TALKING TO THAT FUCKING IRRITATING SCREECH CALLED A FUCKING VOICE

you are offended by the way karkat describes your voice

Crim: yea hey! why aren't you in the water?

Karkat is surprised by the question and stutters

Karkat: NO F-FUCKING REASON W-WHY AR-RE YOU NOT I-IN THE WATER

Crim: aww your stuttering's so cute

Karkat blushes and looks away

Karkat: F-FUCK YOU

Crim: haha I'm joking I just felt like listening to music instead

Karkat: YOU ALWAYS FEEL LIKE LISTENING TO FUCKING MUSIC

Crim: It calms me down a lot for some reason, I always feel chill with music but anyways why aren't you in the water Karkat

Karkat stares at Crim a little then looks down quickly

Karkat: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHY CANT I BE HERE

Crim: because first you hate me…

karkat: I NEVER SA-

Crim: and second everyone's in the water so I'm guessing there's a problem?

Crim: a water problem?

Karkat's blush deepens in embarrassment and anger

Karkat: IM NOT FUCKING AFRAID SHITHEAD I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE GOING IN

Crim: I never said thaaaaaaaat hehe

Karkat: FUCK

Crim: haha come on I feel like getting in

Crim grabs Karkat's hand and runs towards the water where Terezi, gamzee, nepeta and all the others were

They reach the shore and Crim gingerly puts her feet in

Crim: it's not as cold as I thought it would be

Crim: come on hurry up Karkat!

She pulls him into the water and continues deeper and deeper until she's a bit above waist and Karkat up to his chest

Crim: pffft you look like a little kid

Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP

nepeta: :33 come on Crimkitty swim with me!

Nepeta leaves Equius and swims towards Crim

Crim: haha you turned me into a cat pun?

Nepeta: :33 we're furrends why not? Don't like it?

Crim: no it's pawsitively adorable hehe

Nepeta purrks up at the cat pun

Karkat: OH MY FUCKING GOG

A paranoid Equius swims towards the group

Equius: D- nepeta I insist you do not leave my side again

Crim: relax Equius there's nothing to be cautious about relax a little!

Nepeta: :3:3 yeah Eqkitty relaxxx

Equius: D- Nepeta how many times have I told you not to hang around lowb100ds

Karkat: EXCUSE ME SWEATBAG!?

Nepeta: :3:3 I can be with whoever I want!

Crim: come on karkat I sense tension in the air

Crim and karkat leave the fighting morails and swim over to Feferi, Eridan, gamzee, Terezi and Rose

Crim: hey guys enjoying yourselves?

Feferi: y-eah! W-e are having such fun with everyfin

Rose: I can say it is an enjoyable activity I haven't done ever

Eridan: Reelly!? Wwhat else are you suppose to glubbing do then?

Rose: read

Terezi: H4Y K4K4RT!,

Karkat: OH UH HEY TEREZI

Crim casually nudges Karkat towards her and swim towards Feferi

Crim: miss the sea much?

Feferi: oh v-ery much! E-specially all my cuttl-efish

Crim: oh here you go

Crim snaps her fingers and a small green cuttlefish appears in her hand

Feferi: E-E-E-E-E! Thanks so glubbing much Crim reelly!

Feferi grabs the cuttlefish and starts stroking it lovingly

Eridan: Wwhe

Crim: as alone as ever I see

Eridan: shut up landdwweller I'm not lonely

You feel sorry for the sea dweller even though you don't like him very much and whisper something in his ear

Eridan: that's a great idea! Glad I thought of it

Crim rolls her eyes

Crim: your welcome asshole

Eridan gets out of the water and silently goes behind Sollux before he can react Eridan grabs Sollux and throws him in the water

Sollux: wha-what the fuck? Aaahaaaah

Sollux quickly starts sinking but Eridan grabs him and starts going deeper

Sollux: l-let go of me fiishdiick briing me back to the 2hore!

Eridan: no wway

Everyone starts laughing as Sollux panics causing most of us to swallow water when the laughing finally dies down crim mumbles

Crim: I ship this. So. Hard

Nepeta: :33 your an Erisol shipper too? pawsome!

Crim: I ship a lot of things and a lot are pretty strange

Crim: who's your OTP besides Karnep

The cat troll blushes slightly

Nepeta: :33 how do you know!?

Crim: hehe I have my ways soooo?

Nepeta: :33 wellll hmmm there's so many ships butttt…

Nepeta: :33 I gotta say Gamtav who's yours?

Crim: johnvris

The authoress and cat troll continue to talk about ships while everyone else enjoys the beach and finally decide to go home around midday

Everyone packs up and walk towards the house halfway there…

Crim: it's too annoying to walk in sand

She snaps her fingers and the scene turns back to the neighbourhood

Vriska: if you can do that can't you take us to the house?

Crim realises what the troll is saying and snaps everyone back home, now dry and with their normal clothes on except this time the Author is wearing a black skirt and a light purple short sleeve shirt

Crim: that's better now people get ready for lunch

Dirk: great I'm starving

Everyone's going to the kitchen when crim realises she hasn't checked on any reviews

Crim: damn I forgot too much shipping in my head

She goes to her laptop which was lying on the floor and goes to reviews and realises two new have came in

Crim: guys cancel lunch we have dares to do!

You can hear a series of groans

Jade: can't we have dares AFTER lunch?

Crim: hurry up we can't keep reviewers waiting

They all walk into the living room and sit on the couch, chairs and beanbags that I appearified recently

Crim: ok this first one is-

Karkat: WAIT

Everyone stops and looks at karkat

Crim: what?

Karkat: AM I IN ANY OF THESE DARES?

crim: no your off the hook today

Karkat: FUCK YES

Crim: your in group ones though

Karkat: FUUUUUU

You click the top review

ikadoranElsen

I dare all of the trolls to scurry around on their knees while bleating like goats and/or Daves while the humans make the derpiest faces they can manage and run around in circles flapping their arms like retarded chickens while making chicken noises.

Crim: well this is… interesting

Dave: da fuck?

Crim: did you just read over my shoulder again?

Dave: yeah

Crim: sit. Now

Crim: anyway all you trolls down on your knees and bleat like a goat

Trolls: what?

Crim: now. It's a dare

They are do as their told after explains what a 'goat' was

Aradia: baa baaa baa. Ribbit damn

Terezi: H3H3H3H3 B44 B44 B44

Sollux: thii2 baa ii2 baa baa 2tupiid

Crim: now I don't understand the Dave part but you all have to put on your derpiest faces on and go around in circles flapping your arms like retarded chickens

They are do as they are told and try their hardest to keep their derp faces on while flapping their arms in circles besides Dave and dirk who were doing it like it was the most ironic thing ever

Crim: pfft

Crim holds out a camera and takes a photo of this scene

Crim: hehe okay okay I think that's enough

Tavros: DID YOU UH,,, TAKE A PICTURE OF US?

Crim: no (hehehehe This is going as my screensaver)

Crim: okay moving onnnnn

Crim: this is from GoggleHeadOtaku

GoggleHeadOtaku

Don't worry, you'r3 do1ng F3f3r1's qu1rk r1ght. Th3 only dar3 1 can th1nk of 1s to hav3 3v3ryone adm1t the1r flush3d f33lings (your cu3 to sh1p your favour1te sh1ps, author3ss)

Crim: okay people time for a flush crush confections

Everyone pales

Feferi: what!?

Crim: you heard me now let's start with the humans

Crim: Jade you first

Jade: *blushing* Dave

John: V-Vriska

Vriska blushes deeply

Dave: Ter

Rose: Kanaya

Dirk: Jake

Jake: Dirk

Jane's face falls when she hears this (poor thing)

Jane: uh umm Jake

Jake is caught off guard

Jake: huh?

Crim: moving on Roxy

Roxy: *hic* direky! Heehee *hic*

Crim: now Karkat

Karkat blushes

Karkat: UH WELL UM TEREZI

(I'm sorry Karnep shippers don't hate me) Nepeta is crestfallen

Aradia: Sollux

Tavros: uHHH,,, gamzee

Sollux: … Eriidan

Everyone stares in disbelief at him well everyone except for Nepeta and Crim who were squealing in the background

Crim: *cough cough* moving on

Nepeta: Karkitty

Kanaya: Rose

Terezi: Dave

Karkat makes a surprised look then looks down

Vriska: J8hn

Equius: D- …

Crim: Equius?

Equius: D- I refuse to participate in such f001lery

Crim: you remember the dare penalty? It's still up

Equius: D- …I need a towel

Crim: hurry up

Equius: D- …A-A-Aradia

Gamzee: TaVbRo

Eridan: Sollux

You notice the mustard colour forming on Sollux's cheeks

Feferi: Sollux

Crim: seems like Sollux is the flush favourite

Crim: so now let's go to lunch

Kanaya: wait

Crim: huh?

Kanaya: didn't the human reviewer dared everyone to admit their flush crush?

Crim: yeah?

Rose: we are still missing one

Crim: what do you- oh

All eyes turn to Crim grinning

Eridan: sooo wwho is your flush crush hmmmm?

Crim cheeks darken as she tries to avoid the question

Crim: don't you guys just want to have lunch? Hehe come on

Sollux: you'll receiive the punii2hment iif you don't do iit

Crim goes into a light shade of purple blushing beyond possible

Crim: fine it's…

Crim: *mumbling* Mhnhhnn

Jade: what did you say?

Crim: I SAID KARKAT OKAY HAPPY!?

Everyone is shocked as the authoress runs to her room and locks it still blushing madly as everyone stands there dumbfounded

You end this chapter with some trolls and humans bonds and hearts broken while others strengthen and a very embarrassed authoress locked in her room but are these relationships set in stone? Nah why not fuck it up a bit

Edit: might change a few pairings in the couple of chapters to come if I feel like it

R&R people don't forget to include your OTP if you want!