Chapter 3
Third chapter guys yay thanks all for review and keep it up by the way thnx a lot GoogleHeadOtaku
It's the next day and you find no one in the house, you check in every room but with no success, you decide to look outside and to your surprise the scenery has changed from the neighbourhood storm of last night into a bright and sunny beach where you spot the Authoress and her prison- ahem 'guests' near the water, you move towards them
You see that Sollux, Aradia, Tavros, Jade and Jake are playing in the shore with jake playing fetch with Jade and Sollux, Tavros and Aradia splashing around, with the rest waist deep in water swimming around and playing with a beach ball minus Crim and Karkat who were under an umbrella on the sand. Karkat wearing grey shorts with the Cancer sign on the sides and the Authoress wearing a black bikini with the sign of void in blue on both pieces, one on the left side of her top bikini and another smaller one on the bottom bikini, naturally showing the Authoress curves, although she is still busy with her music as usual to realise.
Crim: oh god I thought I got rid of you
Crim takes off her earphones
She knows she can't get rid of me
Crim: I thought you left
Crim just realises that I has been here up to the last chapter but was concentrating too much on the dares
Crim: well can you stop? People do get bored of your talking you know
You ignore the Authoress entirely and continue to narrate her
Crim: you know what I give up you win today's battle. For now
Karkat: TALKING TO THAT FUCKING IRRITATING SCREECH CALLED A FUCKING VOICE
you are offended by the way karkat describes your voice
Crim: yea hey! why aren't you in the water?
Karkat is surprised by the question and stutters
Karkat: NO F-FUCKING REASON W-WHY AR-RE YOU NOT I-IN THE WATER
Crim: aww your stuttering's so cute
Karkat blushes and looks away
Karkat: F-FUCK YOU
Crim: haha I'm joking I just felt like listening to music instead
Karkat: YOU ALWAYS FEEL LIKE LISTENING TO FUCKING MUSIC
Crim: It calms me down a lot for some reason, I always feel chill with music but anyways why aren't you in the water Karkat
Karkat stares at Crim a little then looks down quickly
Karkat: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHY CANT I BE HERE
Crim: because first you hate me…
karkat: I NEVER SA-
Crim: and second everyone's in the water so I'm guessing there's a problem?
Crim: a water problem?
Karkat's blush deepens in embarrassment and anger
Karkat: IM NOT FUCKING AFRAID SHITHEAD I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE GOING IN
Crim: I never said thaaaaaaaat hehe
Karkat: FUCK
Crim: haha come on I feel like getting in
Crim grabs Karkat's hand and runs towards the water where Terezi, gamzee, nepeta and all the others were
They reach the shore and Crim gingerly puts her feet in
Crim: it's not as cold as I thought it would be
Crim: come on hurry up Karkat!
She pulls him into the water and continues deeper and deeper until she's a bit above waist and Karkat up to his chest
Crim: pffft you look like a little kid
Karkat: SHUT THE FUCK UP
nepeta: :33 come on Crimkitty swim with me!
Nepeta leaves Equius and swims towards Crim
Crim: haha you turned me into a cat pun?
Nepeta: :33 we're furrends why not? Don't like it?
Crim: no it's pawsitively adorable hehe
Nepeta purrks up at the cat pun
Karkat: OH MY FUCKING GOG
A paranoid Equius swims towards the group
Equius: D- nepeta I insist you do not leave my side again
Crim: relax Equius there's nothing to be cautious about relax a little!
Nepeta: :3:3 yeah Eqkitty relaxxx
Equius: D- Nepeta how many times have I told you not to hang around lowb100ds
Karkat: EXCUSE ME SWEATBAG!?
Nepeta: :3:3 I can be with whoever I want!
Crim: come on karkat I sense tension in the air
Crim and karkat leave the fighting morails and swim over to Feferi, Eridan, gamzee, Terezi and Rose
Crim: hey guys enjoying yourselves?
Feferi: y-eah! W-e are having such fun with everyfin
Rose: I can say it is an enjoyable activity I haven't done ever
Eridan: Reelly!? Wwhat else are you suppose to glubbing do then?
Rose: read
Terezi: H4Y K4K4RT!,
Karkat: OH UH HEY TEREZI
Crim casually nudges Karkat towards her and swim towards Feferi
Crim: miss the sea much?
Feferi: oh v-ery much! E-specially all my cuttl-efish
Crim: oh here you go
Crim snaps her fingers and a small green cuttlefish appears in her hand
Feferi: E-E-E-E-E! Thanks so glubbing much Crim reelly!
Feferi grabs the cuttlefish and starts stroking it lovingly
Eridan: Wwhe
Crim: as alone as ever I see
Eridan: shut up landdwweller I'm not lonely
You feel sorry for the sea dweller even though you don't like him very much and whisper something in his ear
Eridan: that's a great idea! Glad I thought of it
Crim rolls her eyes
Crim: your welcome asshole
Eridan gets out of the water and silently goes behind Sollux before he can react Eridan grabs Sollux and throws him in the water
Sollux: wha-what the fuck? Aaahaaaah
Sollux quickly starts sinking but Eridan grabs him and starts going deeper
Sollux: l-let go of me fiishdiick briing me back to the 2hore!
Eridan: no wway
Everyone starts laughing as Sollux panics causing most of us to swallow water when the laughing finally dies down crim mumbles
Crim: I ship this. So. Hard
Nepeta: :33 your an Erisol shipper too? pawsome!
Crim: I ship a lot of things and a lot are pretty strange
Crim: who's your OTP besides Karnep
The cat troll blushes slightly
Nepeta: :33 how do you know!?
Crim: hehe I have my ways soooo?
Nepeta: :33 wellll hmmm there's so many ships butttt…
Nepeta: :33 I gotta say Gamtav who's yours?
Crim: johnvris
The authoress and cat troll continue to talk about ships while everyone else enjoys the beach and finally decide to go home around midday
Everyone packs up and walk towards the house halfway there…
Crim: it's too annoying to walk in sand
She snaps her fingers and the scene turns back to the neighbourhood
Vriska: if you can do that can't you take us to the house?
Crim realises what the troll is saying and snaps everyone back home, now dry and with their normal clothes on except this time the Author is wearing a black skirt and a light purple short sleeve shirt
Crim: that's better now people get ready for lunch
Dirk: great I'm starving
Everyone's going to the kitchen when crim realises she hasn't checked on any reviews
Crim: damn I forgot too much shipping in my head
She goes to her laptop which was lying on the floor and goes to reviews and realises two new have came in
Crim: guys cancel lunch we have dares to do!
You can hear a series of groans
Jade: can't we have dares AFTER lunch?
Crim: hurry up we can't keep reviewers waiting
They all walk into the living room and sit on the couch, chairs and beanbags that I appearified recently
Crim: ok this first one is-
Karkat: WAIT
Everyone stops and looks at karkat
Crim: what?
Karkat: AM I IN ANY OF THESE DARES?
crim: no your off the hook today
Karkat: FUCK YES
Crim: your in group ones though
Karkat: FUUUUUU
You click the top review
ikadoranElsen
I dare all of the trolls to scurry around on their knees while bleating like goats and/or Daves while the humans make the derpiest faces they can manage and run around in circles flapping their arms like retarded chickens while making chicken noises.
Crim: well this is… interesting
Dave: da fuck?
Crim: did you just read over my shoulder again?
Dave: yeah
Crim: sit. Now
Crim: anyway all you trolls down on your knees and bleat like a goat
Trolls: what?
Crim: now. It's a dare
They are do as their told after explains what a 'goat' was
Aradia: baa baaa baa. Ribbit damn
Terezi: H3H3H3H3 B44 B44 B44
Sollux: thii2 baa ii2 baa baa 2tupiid
Crim: now I don't understand the Dave part but you all have to put on your derpiest faces on and go around in circles flapping your arms like retarded chickens
They are do as they are told and try their hardest to keep their derp faces on while flapping their arms in circles besides Dave and dirk who were doing it like it was the most ironic thing ever
Crim: pfft
Crim holds out a camera and takes a photo of this scene
Crim: hehe okay okay I think that's enough
Tavros: DID YOU UH,,, TAKE A PICTURE OF US?
Crim: no (hehehehe This is going as my screensaver)
Crim: okay moving onnnnn
Crim: this is from GoggleHeadOtaku
GoggleHeadOtaku
Don't worry, you'r3 do1ng F3f3r1's qu1rk r1ght. Th3 only dar3 1 can th1nk of 1s to hav3 3v3ryone adm1t the1r flush3d f33lings (your cu3 to sh1p your favour1te sh1ps, author3ss)
Crim: okay people time for a flush crush confections
Everyone pales
Feferi: what!?
Crim: you heard me now let's start with the humans
Crim: Jade you first
Jade: *blushing* Dave
John: V-Vriska
Vriska blushes deeply
Dave: Ter
Rose: Kanaya
Dirk: Jake
Jake: Dirk
Jane's face falls when she hears this (poor thing)
Jane: uh umm Jake
Jake is caught off guard
Jake: huh?
Crim: moving on Roxy
Roxy: *hic* direky! Heehee *hic*
Crim: now Karkat
Karkat blushes
Karkat: UH WELL UM TEREZI
(I'm sorry Karnep shippers don't hate me) Nepeta is crestfallen
Aradia: Sollux
Tavros: uHHH,,, gamzee
Sollux: … Eriidan
Everyone stares in disbelief at him well everyone except for Nepeta and Crim who were squealing in the background
Crim: *cough cough* moving on
Nepeta: Karkitty
Kanaya: Rose
Terezi: Dave
Karkat makes a surprised look then looks down
Vriska: J8hn
Equius: D- …
Crim: Equius?
Equius: D- I refuse to participate in such f001lery
Crim: you remember the dare penalty? It's still up
Equius: D- …I need a towel
Crim: hurry up
Equius: D- …A-A-Aradia
Gamzee: TaVbRo
Eridan: Sollux
You notice the mustard colour forming on Sollux's cheeks
Feferi: Sollux
Crim: seems like Sollux is the flush favourite
Crim: so now let's go to lunch
Kanaya: wait
Crim: huh?
Kanaya: didn't the human reviewer dared everyone to admit their flush crush?
Crim: yeah?
Rose: we are still missing one
Crim: what do you- oh
All eyes turn to Crim grinning
Eridan: sooo wwho is your flush crush hmmmm?
Crim cheeks darken as she tries to avoid the question
Crim: don't you guys just want to have lunch? Hehe come on
Sollux: you'll receiive the punii2hment iif you don't do iit
Crim goes into a light shade of purple blushing beyond possible
Crim: fine it's…
Crim: *mumbling* Mhnhhnn
Jade: what did you say?
Crim: I SAID KARKAT OKAY HAPPY!?
Everyone is shocked as the authoress runs to her room and locks it still blushing madly as everyone stands there dumbfounded
You end this chapter with some trolls and humans bonds and hearts broken while others strengthen and a very embarrassed authoress locked in her room but are these relationships set in stone? Nah why not fuck it up a bit
Edit: might change a few pairings in the couple of chapters to come if I feel like it
R&R people don't forget to include your OTP if you want!
