It's super short, but after writing that last line, I thought it would be a nice place to leave it for now.
We had both fallen asleep for quite a while. I wasn't really sure how long it was exactly.
I was surprisingly the first to wake up. Cass had had an emotional day, though. Poor girl probably had a lot of energy taken out of her.
There were faint trails where the tears had dried on her cheeks and I rubbed them with my thumb. We were both just so… broken. So fucked up. I had been too fucked up to function recently, especially without her there to keep me straight.
It was completely silent in the room. It was peaceful, but kind of eerie too. There was a weird mix of equal parts happiness and pain with everything that had just happened.
I pulled her blanket up over us and we were safe there.
I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair, starting at the top of her head and working all the way down to the ends. I did this several times and earned a heavy sigh from her.
"That feels wonderful," she said softly, and I wondered how long she had actually been awake. Her teeth pulled on her lower lip and her eyes opened slowly. She looked at me lazily and I just stared back at her, still in wonder at how beautiful she was even in a time like this.
I repeated what I was doing for yet a few more times before my hand stopped in the middle of her back. I moved just a bit closer to her. Something about the constant contact of my touching her helped me believe this was all real. Otherwise, she would probably disappear within an instant. Or that's how it felt to me, anyway.
She stared back at me and she looked like she was trying to figure something out. She reached out and I felt her fingers tracing the side of my cheek. She reached my chin, then touched my lips, my nose, and my glasses that were still on my face.
"I can't believe you're real," she said suddenly. All I could do to agree was nod.
She put a hand on either side of my head and her fingers moved through my hair in a way that felt really nice. "Sid," she said softly, "Sid, we should talk."
"Yeah," I said simply. "I-"
"Wait," she interrupted, "I want to go first." I nodded between where her hands sat still in my hair. "Well, first I want to apologize. I shouldn't have left you like I did, I was just so scared." Her voice had dropped to a whisper. Her eyes closed for a moment before opening suddenly. "I must have made you terribly angry and terribly sad and alone. And for that I am extremely sorry. I'd never want to make you feel any of those things, Sid, really, I wouldn't."
I nodded as she spoke, agreeing with everything she was saying. She didn't go on after that, she just looked at me anxiously.
"Well Cass, I'm not mad at you. I was at first, sure. I was mad, I was confused, and mostly I was very sad and very alone. But I completely understand why you did what you did. You'd already been through so much and then when… Well I understand completely. And now I'm just glad I found you. So glad."
"You must have gone through so much trouble to find me," she said quietly.
I nodded and couldn't help but nearly laugh at the thought of what I'd been through the past few weeks.
"Yeah, the past few weeks have been fucking nuts."
"Weeks? Wow, Sid, you care so much." She was almost smiling. Not quite, but almost.
"Yeah, weeks. Tony gave me a ticket to come find you so I flew out straight away. And I've been looking ever since. I actually just ran out of money this morning when I bought that coffee in your diner. I was going to get a job to get back home, I thought I'd never find you."
"Wow," she breathed. "Well it's super lucky that you found me when you did, then." She touched my face and her eyes were almost happy. Again, not quite, but almost.
"Yeah, super lucky," I said as I nodded and gave a little smile. She gave the same small smile back. She leaned forward and kissed me. I didn't want it to stop, but it did and just a few seconds later she pulled back.
"So, Sid, after you found me, what were you planning to happen? Like, did you want us to both go back home, or were you thinking you would stay here with me?" Her eyes studied mine and it was actually quite difficult to think of what I had actually thought would happen.
"Well to be honest I didn't really have a plan. I suppose I thought we'd go back home," her face seemed to fall a bit before I went on, "But I don't really have anything waiting for me back there."
"Yeah, I have absolutely nothing there," she said softly. "Not that I have anything here, either, but at least it's nice here." She moved her hands to my neck and I was surprised at how great every touch she gave me felt. "Do you like it here, Sid?"
"Yeah, it's pretty nice, I guess. I mean, I haven't exactly got the best experience to go off of, but it sure is great now." I put my forehead against hers, wanting to touch her more.
"Good," she said and her eyes fell closed.
We sat there in the quiet for a while. It was all so hard to believe. It was like a dream. A dream that would be wonderful to have, but one that would be terrible to ever wake up from.
