Chapter 3: A Quest For Love
A/N: I was originally gonna have Spots tell the entire tale of the quest, but I noticed I only got half the usual readers so I decided to make this story shorter. Although it seems to have an ending here, it actually keeps on going. The next chapter will start on Friday and since the whole 'Purge' thing is on Tuesday, their may be some spoilers.
Spots was ready to start the story for the rest of the gang when Greg came to pick up the bowls. "You guys enjoy your ice cream?"
"It wash great!" Amy said.
"Thanks! The cream is my own recipe. Enjoy your game!"
As Greg left Suzie made an observation. "He seems to enjoy his job. Is he going to take over the cafe when his father retires?"
James chimed in. "Actually, Mr. Jumbeaux plans to give the cafe over to Junior-Junior."
"Oh? Do you love making ice cream Jay-Jay?"
"Not really."
"But...why doesn't your dad give the business to Greg? He's the first born."
"I dunno."
Spots interrupted. "Look guys, we need to get back to the game. Can I continue the story where we left off?"
Everyone just shrugged their shoulders. "Sure." said Sam.
"Alright. Where was I? Oh yeah!"
Our heroes were sitting a a bar in beautiful Viviana. They were bored and restless. They had not seen battle in awhile and were eager to get blood on their hands. Well, except for the mages. They were perfectly happy with their studies. Samuel the thief was busy pickpocketing the patrons, while Gerald was beating everyone at darts thanks to his talent at aiming. As always, Sir Jamesworth was busy polishing his sword. He'd polish it all day and all night."
The gang chuckled as James rolled his eyes. "Ha-Ha. Yeah I get it. Innuendo."
They heard the patrons gasp as a man came through the door. He was bloody, beaten and had arrows sticking out of his back. He could barely get any words out. "The...heroes five...I must speak with thee before I pass!"
"What is it noble messenger?" James spoke.
Ooooh! I like how you're getting into this! "Cough! Cough! Dear heroes! Before I die, I must give you an urgent message. The fearsome dragon known as Susan has awakened deep beneath the caverns of the Madeupvia kingdom. The king has sent me on an urgent q...COUGH! COUGH!...quest t-to find you heroes and ask you to slay the dragon. He says the money is no object! He'll...COUGH! WHEEZE! He'll even give you the kingdom if need be!"
"But who would get the kingdom?" asked Sam.
Spots wasn't sure what to say. "I dunno. Whoever lands the final blow?"
"That adds a competitive style to the game! That's great! You're really good at this!"
"I told you! Now shut up and let me tell the story."
"I'm all ears! Well, mostly two freakishly large hands with two thumbs on each, but still..."
"Whosoever kills the dragon will have the kingdom and the princesses' hand in marriage!"
"What about me?" Amy asked.
"Well, it's a free kingdom we don't judge. Anyway, stop cutting me off! I'm dying here! COUGH! COUGH! A huge reward awaits you! But beware, for the path back is filled with treacherous danger! Dangers such as...such as...UUUUGH!" The messenger then died in front of them."
Sam panicked and ran up to shake Spots' arm. "What dangers?! What dangers?!"
"You'll have to wait and see." Spots said with a smile.
"Oooh! Keeping me in suspense! I like it! You got a great gal Jim! It's like she's one the guys, only...not!"
James chuckled "That's a better description than you realize."
Suzie nestled her head by Junior-Junior. "Jay-Jay, I hope you're the one that kills me."
The shy elephant didn't know what to say. "Oh! Ummm.. okay."
Over three hours went by. The group fought goblins, trolls, monsters and more. They crossed treacherous paths and dangerous traps. They finally encountered Suzie. We now join back into the game near the tail end of the fight. Suzie is down on health and James plans on delivering the final blow.
"Alright!" James said. "Time for you to meet your maker Susan the Dragon!"
"It is YOU who will meet your doom Sir Jamesworth!" Suzie replied.
"Whose turn is it?" Spots asked.
"It's mine." Suzie replied. "And don't worry Jay-Jay, you're too cute to die, so I'll kill you last."
"Thanks!" Junior-Junior replied.
"Okay let me see...I'm gonna swipe my tail and hit Jimmy with hit."
Spots rolled the die. "Eight! Swing and a miss!"
"EEP!"
James was happy. "Alright! Your death awaits you big little sis! I swing my sword to chop off her tail!"
"NOOO! Get away! Get away!"
Spots rolls the die. "Sixteen! It hits!"
While the dragon swung her tail, the nimble Jamesworth managed to dodge it and sliced off the tail of the beast. Susan roared out in pain!
"ROOOAR!"
"You don't have to do that in real life Suzie."
"Oh! Okay."
Whose turn is it?
"Mine." Said Sam. "But my HP is low, so I'm gonna keep back and let Amy heal me."
"My turn." said Amy. "I'm gonna put a shield around me, Sham and Jerry."
"What about me?" asked James. "I'm almost dead here!"
"I'm still upshet with you! You made me heal you inshtead of Shylveshter and he died the next turn!"
"He shot a fire spell at a dragon!" James replied. "Who does that?! It's like attacking someone with soap!"
Amy's spell was successful and Junior-Junior was up next. "Okay. Ummmm...I guess I can...Oh! I'll use ice arrows to try and freeze the dragon in place."
Spots rolls the dice. "Fourteen! Let's see..." She checks over JJ's stats. "Yup! It's effective!"
The valiant archer shot arrows laced with ice magic at the dragon's legs. It held Susan firmly in place. Surely the dragon was doomed.
Suzie was now worried "Oh no!"
"Oh yes!" James replied. "You are totally done for! I run towards the dragon and go to stab her!"
"Okay, dice time." said Spots. "And...TWO! HA! You totally missed!"
James was upset. "No way! She was a sitting duck!"
The knight went to attack, but he slipped and landed just underneath the dragon.
"Alright! Now it's my turn! Can I sit on him?"
"Your legs are frozen in place." Spots reminded her.
"She can't do anything!" James said.
"Yes I can!" Suzie snapped back. "It's my turn! Let's see. He's under me. Legs frozen,. Can't turn around to breathe fire...I know! Tee!-Hee! I'm gonna poop on him!"
The entire table roared in laughter. Spots rolled the die. "HA-HA! Twenty! It's super effective!"
James protested. "No way! Let me see!" He took a look at the die."...Dangit! Can I raise my shield?"
"Wouldn't do you any good." Sam replied. "When dragons eat their food (which is mostly people) they often accidentally eat some of their gold as well. Over time, evolution has given them the ability to digest their gold, which means their insides are like a furnace. When their poop comes out, it's molten hot. It would melt James' iron shield and armor no problem."
Spots didn't believe him. "Are you sure?"
"Nobody knows dragons better than Sam 'Dragon' Moleson." James replied. "Oh great! I'm totally dead! Death by poop! Thanks a lot Suzie!"
"HA-HA! HA-HA!" Suzie replied. "I got you! I got you!" She then stood up on her seat and waved her butt in front of James and made fart sounds. "PPPBBBFRRRTTT!"
James was humiliated, but the rest of the gang laughed.
Seizing an...HEE-HEE!...an opportunity, the heh-heh! Dragon took a great big dump right on the knight. Her super -hot turd engulfed sir Jamesworth and he suffered a horrible, smelly fate. HAHAHAAA! The dragon managed to shake and free herself from her icy trap. Your turn Sam!
Sam felt conflicted. "I don't wanna kill her! She's a dragon! I love dragons!"
The others moaned. "Dammit Sam! Don't let my stinky death be in vain!"
"I...I can't. I'll...I'll swoon her!"
Sylvester couldn't believe what he said. "Again? You're always trying to flirt with the dragons! Even the male ones! It never works and you wind up dead!"
"It will this time!" Sam replied. "I shall swoon her with a poem. Ahem!"
Dragon, Dragon, up so high.
Your beauty covers the sky.
Your scales glisten like shiny jewels.
Others won't listen because they're fools.
They don't see your beauty and grace.
They just attack with sword and mace.
But I believe your flaming breath
Brings me warmth, not certain death.
Your sharp fangs, your webbed wings
Are a beauty nothing else can bring
I will stay while others flee
' Cause dragon, my dragon, I love thee.
Spots just rolled her eyes as she grabbed the die. "Oh brother! Here we g-"
She was stopped by Suzie's own hand. (Or hoof. Hoof-hand? How come in Zootopia giraffes and Buffalos have fingers, but horses and zebras do not?) Anyway, Suzie stopped Spots from rolling the die. Her eyes where swelling with tears. "Don't! I yield. I yield."
She then turned to Sam as she wiped a tear. "Sam, that was beautiful! You really are a true poet."
Sam gushed. "Awww thanks! My mom always said I had a gift for words. Soooo. Does this mean I won?"
"Yep!" Spots replied. "You win! Now I gotta incorporate it into the story. So here's the finale."
Susan was ready to turn the final three heroes to ashes when Sam walked up to her. He stared deep into her eyes. He saw the beauty in her that no one else did. He honored her with a beautiful poem that to the shock of the others, moved her to tears. She stopped her rampage and fell in love with the thief.
With the dragon satisfied and happy, she agreed to help rebuild the parts of the kingdom she destroyed and became it's protector. The king kept his word and offered the crown to Sam. The thief graciously turned the king down and married not the princess, but the dragon.
Sam pumped his fist. "YESSS! Screw the princess! I'm marrying me a dragon!"
And while Susan the dragon long outlived the thief, she understood what love was and stayed a good dragon. She was beloved by the kingdom for centuries and they all lived happily ever after. The End.
The gang applauded Spots for her story and Sam ran across the table to shake her paw.
"Spots, I have never been more happy to be so wrong. That was a GREAT campaign! You can be our DM anytime!"
He then went over to Suzie and kissed the back of her hand. "And you my dear, make a WONDERFUL dragon!"
"Awww! Thanks!" Suzie replied.
This upset Junior-Junior a bit. "Back off Sam! You're being a creep!"
Sam huffed. "You're just jealous because I can actually talk to a girl. She actually likes you for some reason and yet you've been quiet the whole night. Be a man and actually talk to her!" The mole then left to go back to his table on the table.
This put Junior-Junior in a bit of a spot. "Well...ummm...I can talk! I just...don't always have a lot to say is all. I'm...I'm not a smooth talker or anything."
Suzie wrapped her neck around the elephant. "Well...maybe you'd be more comfortable with me if we got to know each other better. Maybe we could go on a date?"
Junior-Junior then got real flustered. "A-A-A date?! Well, ummm...I ummmm... I don't know. I tend to be real busy what with the ice cream cafe and ummm.."
Suzie was getting depressed. "If you don't want to go out with me, just say so!"
"No! No! It's not that! I just...ummm."
Even Sylvester was getting upset with him. "Dude! What is wrong with you?! You've got a beautiful girl here near your age who's into you and you don't even have the guts to ask her out?! Don't be shy! I finally got to talk to Amy and look what happened with us! Don't blow this!"
James was getting upset. "Dude! Don't pressure him! He just has a hard time socializing!"
"He's being a coward!" Sylvester snapped back.
Junior-Junior had enough. "I-I-I gotta go do dishes before it gets late! It's been nice meeting you all. I hope you all come next week. Sorry. I gotta go. Sorry!" He then ran off into the kitchen.
Suzie was left there, sobbing. "Wh-What did I do wrong?! SNIFF! Wh-Why doesn't he like me?!"
"He's an introvert Suzie." James replied. "He prefers his solitude and has a very hard time socializing. It takes all of his will just to come to this game every Monday. When we first started our little get-togethers here, he'd just stay in the kitchen. It was months before he got the guts to come out of there and ask if he could join us. Just give him time. If you come each week, you'll chip away at him I'm sure."
Spots' cell phone buzzed. "It's a text from my Dad. He's outside waiting for us."
Amy was dissapointed. "Awww! Can't I shtay with Shylveshter shome more?"
"My dad picked you up. That makes him responsible for dropping you off. Your parents would be real upset if you came home with a guy they don't know."
"SIGH! I guessh."
Sam jumped down off the large table. "Well, I'm heading home on the subway. It's been great meeting you gals! See ya next week!"
As the girl;s started to leave. James remained back. "I'll catch up girls. I'm just gonna go talk to Jay-Jay for a sec."
James went into the kitchen and hopped up on the sink. "Look Jay-Jay. Don't listen to Sylvester, but you need to know she does...Jay-Jay?"
Junior-Junior turned around. His eyes were wet with tears and he was sniffling. "He's...SNIFF! He's right! I AM a coward! Here I find a girl who obviously likes me and I can't even find the guts to talk to her! Will she be here next week?"
"Probably. But she's only coming here for you. Look, I don't mean to push you, but if you keep on rejecting her, she'll never want to set foot in here! I know it's hard for you, but you've GOTTA make a move! For both of your sakes."
"I-I know. But what if I say the wrong thing?! Someone once said 'Better to be silent and let the world think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.' "
"But you're not a fool Jay-Jay. You're my friend! You're comfortable around me, Sam and Sylvester, so why not her?"
"James...it took me MONTHS before I could open up to you guys, Now we got three new people and...and they're GIRLS!"
"Yes. And one of them, my foster half-sister is nuts about you."
"...Are you sure?"
"She was draping her neck on you like a scarf! She's weeping right now because you up and left when she asked you out! She has no one her size at school, but it might not be like that forever and you'll miss your chance. Please buddy. Don't blow this. I want both of you to be happy. There's another saying. 'You'll never get a home run if you don't swing ' or something to that effect."
"I know. Thank you Jim. SNIFF! I...I gotta get back to work."
James just shrugged his shoulders. "SIGH! Alright. See ya next Monday."
"See ya."
As James left, Junior-Junior's father approached him. "Look son, I know it ain't none of my business, but she seems ta really like you and an outgoing gal like her WILL find someone. Hell, 'dat mole was makin' pretty good moves."
"You saw that?"
"Yeah. But...if yer happier being in yer room and writin' yer fanfic stories and playin' games by yourself, then so be it. I won't stop ya. I just want you to be happy. That's all. By the way, My friend will have that new Harry Porker book for ya by Friday."
"Yeah?"
"Two weeks in advance of the street date! It'd be nice if ya had a friend ta read it with. Share the juicy spoilers?."
"...Hunh."
James made it back to the van to find Suzie with her head out of the sun roof weeping. "Aww Suzie! C'mere big little sister!" He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her snout while rubbing her neck.
"W-W-Why doesn't he like me?!" she sobbed.
"He does! He told me. He's just super shy. He's afraid of screwing it up."
"SNIFF! That's dumb!"
While in the van, Spots made an observation. "Why does it smell like piss in here?"
Nick's face was redder than normal. "Uhhh...Petey spilled some cheerios."
"Oh. I does kinda smell like that, only stale. I didn't know we had cheerios?"
"WELL WE DO!" He snapped.
"Okay geez!"
Nick decided to change the topic. "Did you kids have fun?"
"I got a boyfriend!" Amy shouted.
"Really?"
"Within seconds." Spots added. "I think it was a world record. Turns out Sylvester had as big a crush on Amy as Amy did on him. Oh! She's one of my new besties now!"
"Never heard you use that phrase before. Glad to see your making friends Princess."
"DON'T CALL ME...ah what the hell."
"How about you James?"
The cougar chuckled. "I lost the game. Suzie pooped on me!"
"...In the game?"
"Of course! Oh my God!"
"Okay! Okay! Just making sure I have the proper context."
"She was a dragon. I tripped and her boiling poop burned me alive."
"Ewww. How about you Suzie?"
With her head outside, Suzie twisted her neck around pushed it through the open window and plopped her head onto Nick's lap. "BAAAW-HAAAW! M-Mr. Wilde! Can I call you uncle Nick?"
"Aww! Yeah, sure. You're like family to me now. An annoying family member who won't leave, but still..."
"Uncle Nick! I w-w-went to this game night to flirt with J-Junior-Junior. A-A-And he w-w-was so shy! He...SNIFF! He turned me down for a daaaate!"
Nick patted and rubbed her head. "Awww! I'm sorry sweetie! I'm sure you'll get him next time. Now please move your head, I won't be able to steer like this. Everyone got their seat belts o-"
Before he could finish, he felt a rumbling on the ground beneath the van. "On no! An earthquake!"
James pointed out of the van. "No! Look!"
It was Junior-Junior running at full speed towards the van. "WAIT! WAAAIT!"
Suzie immediately stopped sobbing and had a smile a mile wide. "Jay-Jay!"
Junior-Junior stopped in front of the van. He was panting and trying his best to catch his breath. "I...PANT! PANT!...I'm sorry for the way I acted Suzie. I was wondering if ummm...if you want to ummm...on Friday, I'm getting an advance copy of 'Harry Porker and the mid-life crisis'."
"They really need to let that series end." Spots said.
"If...If you'd like, maybe you can come by the house on Friday and...and read it with me?! My dad and Greg will be there."
"S-Sure!" Suzie said with excitement. "I love Harry Porker! I'd be happy to read that book with you!"
"Great! I'll text you and have my dad pick you up!"
"Awesome! I'll see you Friday then!"
"Cool! Bye!" He ran back to the cafe. As he opened the door, you could hear him yell "Dad! Dad! I got a date!"
Everyone in the car cheered. Suzie ducked her head back inside and let Amy and James hug her face.
"Congrats Suzie!" James said. "I guess my words got to him."
"James, you are the bestest little big brother!"
Nick looked back and smiled. "Well, since we got our happy ending for the evening, let's go! Gotta drop off Amy."
"This is great!" Suzie squealed. "Only one thing."
"Yeah?" James said.
"Who's Harry Porker?"
Everyone groaned. Nick explained. "Only the star of about a dozen books. You're gonna have a lot of reading to do to catch up."
"A DOZEN?! Oh no! I don't wanna be caught in a lie!"
"Well, Michael's a big fan. When he was blind, he listened to all the books on tape. He can explain a lot. Also, all the books were turned into movies. He'd LOVE to see them all with you."
"COOL! I can binge watch and get caught up by Friday!"
"If you can find the time." James replied.
"It'll probably take all of my week, but it'll be worth it!"
Nick started up the van and headed out. Suzie stuck her head back out of the sunroof and started singing. "I got a daaaate! I got a daaaate! I got a-"
BONK!
"Ow! Stupid light pole!"
