A week had passed, and much to Dr. Harris' persistence to keep Mulder in the hospital longer, he was released to Scully's care. They had played this game with too many doctors. The situation became awkward when they realized he would need more frequent care for a while, and didn't know what arrangements to make, until Maggie spoke up.
"I have the room at my house, he can stay in the guest room downstairs. That way I can check up on him during the day, and Dana can handle things when she's home." She said, with finality in her voice.
"No, Mrs. Scully, I appreciate that, but I wouldn't want to impose. That's a lot to ask. I'll be fine at my place." Mulder answered, knowing already he was going to lose this argument.
"Mulder, Mom's right. That'll be the easiest plan of action. Maybe in a few weeks when your burns heal, you can head back to your apartment, but for now, you'll need the bandages changed often. This will work out best for everyone." Scully said, with the same confidence in her decision as her mother's. He knew it wasn't wise to challenge one Scully woman, let alone two. With a sigh, he conceded, and they discharged him from the hospital.
The car ride home was rather quiet, each person lost in their own thoughts on the current situation.
Maggie hid a small smile on her face, knowing that confining the two would hopefully bring them closer together again. She didn't know how much information Dana had disclosed to him yet about her life, and didn't want to push. She knew that eventually, with them living in the same house, the truths would become physically evident.
Scully sat in the back seat, leaving more space for Mulder in the front, trying to calm her nerves. When the proposition to release Mulder had been made, she didn't question the fact that she would be the one taking care of him. She knew they would be spending more time together, now that their rift was somewhat resolved, but wasn't expecting to share her living space so soon. With the recent revelations of his feelings, she knew she had to tell him about the baby promptly. Eventually, she wouldn't be able to hide the small swell of her stomach that was growing bigger each day. She still didn't know how he would take the news, knowing that he loved her, she hoped that was enough to forgive her for not telling him when she started the process.
Mulder sat in the front seat, next to Maggie, noticing the sly smile on her face. He knew that she was happy to have him and Scully speaking again, and now living under the same roof. He was still apprehensive, after letting his feelings slip, that she might go running away from him again. He had his doubts, but when she kissed him, he felt a promise behind it. She didn't return the sentiments, verbally at least, but he had hoped that they were there. He picked up on Scully's nervous energy the entire ride home, and wasn't sure how to decipher it. He thought it was just because things were happening so fast, and wanted to reassure her that they didn't have to jump into anything, but it seemed like there was a bigger issue. He knew they needed to talk about what happened between them more, and where they would go from this point, but he didn't want to push her. He couldn't afford to chance that, not now.
They all arrived to the house, and there were a few awkward silences in getting everything settled. Scully took the liberty to play hostess and show Mulder to the guest room that he would be staying in. Maggie went straight to the kitchen to begin making dinner, leaving the two alone.
"The bathroom is connected, there's clean towels in there. The closet has clean sheets, and extra blankets and pillows. If you need help figuring out the TV, let me know." She said passively.
"Is there an extra charge for the continental breakfast, or does that come with the stay?" Mulder asked teasingly. He could tell she was anxious, and was hoping to break the mood.
She chuckled slightly. "Sorry, This is - It's still an adjustment, for everyone. I'm glad you're here though." She let out in a whisper.
He walked towards her, and pulled her in for a gentle hug. He couldn't really handle much more, with fresh burns and a few broken ribs, but he would risk it to let her know that they were okay. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Thank you."
"Mulder, there's um - some other things we need to talk about, too. I - uh, why don't we go to dinner tomorrow, after your doctor's appointment? Mom's going to drop you off at the hospital, and I was going to bring you home anyway." She knew this was an issue that should be talked about alone, but she felt slightly more secure in thinking he wouldn't overreact too much in a public place.
"Yeah, sure Scully. Is everything okay? You're starting to worry me a little, with all these secretive things you and your mom keep saying." She could sense the uneasiness in his voice, and needed to reassure him that everything was alright, at least she hoped.
"Everything's just fine. There's just some, new things, happening and I need to tell you about them, if we are going to be - uh, if we're..." She couldn't finish her thoughts, because she had no clue what they were. They had barely repaired their acquaintanceship, and sealed some emotions with a kiss, but there was no discussion as to what either of them wanted. She knew that in order to have that discussion, she would need to tell him everything first, and give him a fair chance to decide.
"It's okay, we don't need to figure all that out now. Let's just take it slowly, okay?" He sheepishly smiled at her, and she relaxed slightly, knowing he was just as confused about their current relationship status as she was.
"Okay. I'm going to help Mom finish dinner, I'll let you get settled." She said, before making her exit.
While Mulder began to get comfortable in his temporary room, Maggie and Scully were preparing dinner. She knew her mother would pry into the situation eventually, but she hadn't expected it to be so soon. She was hoping to have some time to gather her thoughts before being interrogated.
"Did you two talk?" Maggie asked, accusingly. She knew her daughter well enough to know she was going to need an extra push to open up her deepest secrets, even if it was to the man she loved.
"We talked about, things. I'm - uh, planning to tell him tomorrow, if everything goes accordingly." She said, taking extra attention in making the salad.
"You can't keep finding excuses to not tell him, Dana. He's going to find out soon enough, whether you tell him or not."
"I know, I know. I just, I'm not ready to let go of whatever this is right now. We finally got back to a good place in our relationship, I don't want to ruin that just yet."
"Dana, you can't keep running from your feelings. It's not fair to either of you. You'll have to decide what to do soon, for all of you." She said pointedly, eyeing Scully's stomach with implication.
"I'll tell him tomorrow." She promised her mother, hoping she could keep the promise to herself.
They resumed fixing dinner, unaware that Mulder had silently entered the hallway a few minutes prior, just long enough to hear their conversation.
His immediate thought was that Scully was in a new relationship. Putting their words together, he figured that she just didn't want to tell him yet, because of their recent reconciliation. He assumed that Scully was confused in her feelings, because she didn't think she would have to face Mulder again. They had already disconnected, there would be no reason to tell him. He instantly began to wallow in his own thoughts, and it decreased his mood drastically. He didn't want to overreact, since he wasn't supposed to hear their conversation. He had to suppress his own emotions, and try his hardest to pretend that everything was still fine.
They all made small pleasantries during dinner, engaging in casual conversations. There was a lot for them to catch up on, so it was easy to keep the discussions platonic. What they didn't know was that they all were overly trying to put on a civil facade.
After dinner, Maggie insisted on cleaning up so that they could have more time to get reacquainted. Mulder wasn't sure how much more he could control his sporadic thoughts, so he called it an early night and made his way to his new room. He wasn't sure if he could handle seeing Scully every day, knowing that she was in a new relationship with someone else. He thought that her kiss at the hospital was her returning his sentiments, but he now felt like an idiot for how wrong he had been. He now saw it as a pitiful action, mostly on his part.
Scully could sense that there was a shift in Mulder's attitude during dinner, but didn't know what had changed in the 10 minutes from when she left him to when he made his way into the kitchen. It began to tug at her nerves, and made her even more anxious about telling him her news tomorrow, their news. She finally made her way to bed, and tried to settle in, knowing she had a long day ahead of her.
The following day consisted of nervous energy for everyone. Mulder had too much time to let his feelings fester, and was in a foul mood from the morning. He didn't respond much to Scully's conversations, and that made her instantly annoyed. She was happy to be leaving for work for most of the day, and almost didn't want to have to see him later. They were already off to a bad start.
When the time came for Maggie to drop him off at his appointment, Mulder assured her that everything was fine, despite her persistent asking. She could tell that there was a shift in emotions, and hoped that it wouldn't affect the discussion she knew was planned for later today. She was exasperated at how stubborn these two were, but knew it wasn't her place to say anything, yet.
Mulder made his way up to the doctor's general office, and was let into the waiting room by one of the nurses. He was in the radiology area, since he needed to have follow up scans to ensure there was nothing more severe happening from his head injury. As he filled out his paperwork, it had a section for him to fill in his emergency contact. As much as he currently resented the idea, he scribbled down Scully's name. Regardless of what he assumed was happening, he knew she was still there to worry about him, as she had assured him. When he went to hand the paperwork back to the nurse, she noticed Scully's name, and a smile grew on her face.
"You know Dr. Scully?" The young nurse asked excitedly.
"Uh, yeah. She's a friend of mine." Mulder answered passively.
"She's always so nice when she comes in for an occasional ultrasound. Usually pretty quiet, but always very pleasant."
Mulder's attention was instantly grasped. "Ultrasound?" He asked quizzically.
"Well yeah, I think she's just nervous, since it's her first baby. Any little hiccup and she's in here just to make sure things are okay. It happens all the time with new moms." She answered sincerely, oblivious to the chaos of the situation she was creating.
"Oh, right, yeah." He answered, completely void to anything happening around him. He was still shocked by this turn of events. His thoughts were now more scattered than before. He had assumed that she was in a new relationship, but pregnant as well would definitely complicate things further. He was not looking forward to their conversation later tonight.
He went through his scans and tests, half listening to what the doctor was saying. His mind was riveted over the information he had learned about Scully that nothing else seemed to matter. He hadn't noticed a ring on her finger, but wasn't sure if she just removed it for his benefit. As the doctor dismissed him, he let out a heavy sigh and tried to compose himself before making his way to her office. He didn't want to be the one to completely ruin whatever sliver of a relationship that they had left.
After getting lost a few times, he finally found her office, and peered in silently. He could see her finishing a report, and rubbing her belly subconsciously. Despite the betrayal he felt, he smiled at how content she seemed. He wanted to be happy for her, happy that she was going to get everything she's wanted, even if it wasn't with him.
"Scully, I'm starving, you almost ready?" He said loudly as he entered, rubbing his stomach to indirectly point out her action.
She jumped at his entrance. "Jesus, Mulder! You ever heard of knocking? You scared the hell out of me." She answered pointedly.
"What's the fun in that?" He said as he began to play with the small trinkets in her office.
"I'm just finishing up, make yourself comfortable, try not to break anything." She said raising an eyebrow at him with a small smirk on her face. She reveled in this moment of being in an office with him again.
"Scully, your lack of faith in me is heartbreaking." He feigned being emotionally hurt by her warning. He picked up a pencil and began to sharpen it. He caught her gaze, and a sly grin began to grow on his face.
"Mulder, don't you dare throw that at my ceiling." Before she could finish scolding him, the pencil went flying upward. She shook her head at the guilty expression on his face. She missed this.
"It slipped." He shrugged and let out a small chuckle.
When she finally finished, they made their way to a small diner they used to frequent. They situated themselves in a corner booth, and the tension around them began to build. They both knew this was the moment they had been avoiding all day.
Scully was nervous to tell Mulder about everything. She knew that he loved her, and hoped that was enough to make him want to be part of their lives, hers and the baby's. It was, after all, his child, too. When she thought of what part of their lives meant to her, she knew she meant the whole package. The more she thought about it, the more she admitted to herself that she had only ever imagined her life with Mulder always by her side. There was never a time that she doubted his absence, even when it was a temporary reality. She was never good with expressing her emotions, and knew that she couldn't mess this up, it was too important to not let him in entirely.
Mulder immediately sensed Scully's weariness about the conversation that needed to be had. He tried to mentally prepare himself for anything she was willing to share with him, but he knew her well enough to know it probably wouldn't be much. She might keep it simple, just give him the basics. He had been working on responses to every scenario he could think of in his head, ones that wouldn't make him seem like a total ass. He wanted to be part of Scully's life, now that she was back, any alternative was simply not an option. He just needed to push his own personal feelings aside to allow her to be happy, with whatever decision she needed to make. He just didn't know if he was able to control his stubborn temper.
"I'm glad we were able to do this tonight, I - uh, I'm glad we're able to talk about, things..." Her voice began to wander off, the nervousness clearly evident.
"Yeah, me, too. You keep saying you have big things to talk to me about." He said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"I do, but if now's not a good time for you, I don't want to overwhelm you. You seem, distracted." She said slightly annoyed, picking up on his tone of voice.
"No, no, Scully this is your conversation to be had. So what is it?"
"Well gee with your comforting attitude, let me just pour my heart out."
Their discussion was already beginning wrong, and both of them were too stubborn to surrender their emotions for it to proceed in a positive light. All of this was because of a giant misunderstanding, but with their current standoff, that conclusion was far from being met.
"Wouldn't you be pouring your heart out to the wrong person here?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" She spat, annoyance rising.
"Let's cut the bullshit, Scully. We aren't going to get anywhere trying to beat around the bush. I heard you talking to your mom in the kitchen last night, and I put the pieces together, so you can save your breath. I'll even cut you some more slack, and tell you that I know about your little bun in the oven. If you were in a relationship, you should have just been honest with me, instead of kissing me and making me believe that we had a chance again. I told you I loved you, yeah not intentionally, but it was there. You should have told me the truth then." His anger got the best of him, and he finished his rant.
Scully's mind was in a whirlwind as she put all of his words together. There was clearly a disconnect in communication here, and she didn't know where it started. She needed to clear things up before it was too late, again.
"Mulder, no. It's not-" She began to say frantically.
"It's not what I think? I woulda thought you would have came up with something a little more original. Are you flustered because I know the truth now, or because you got caught?" He said, knowing just how to push her buttons.
The color began to rise to her cheeks as her frustration built inside of her. He was being a tenacious jerk and not even allowing her to explain her side of whatever story he had contracted in his mind.
"Are you going to let me talk or are you just going to keep accusing me of things? Last time I checked, I was the one who asked to speak with you tonight." She began, and the fury in her voice caused him to wince. "First, even if I was in a relationship, it would be none of your damn business! We hadn't spoken in months, I thought your lack of communication meant you didn't care anymore about what was going on in my life. By the way, I'm not seeing anyone, so let's just clear that up right now."
"So you got knocked up and moved back home? Real cliche there, Scully." He said venomously, intentionally trying to hurt her. He felt the need to retaliate to her statement, even knowing he was making things monumentally worse.
"Screw you, Mulder! You know what, we are done here. I don't need to tell you anything. I thought that we - just, nevermind." She said trying to fight back the tears forming in her eyes. She knew that the hormones played a role in her strong emotions, but she also never expected this conversation to become so twisted.
"Yeah, Scully. Nevermind, because you wouldn't tell me how you felt anyway, right? We've been speaking again for what, every day for a little over a week and I had to find out from some random nurse in radiology that you're pregnant? I'm even staying with you right now and you didn't think to disclose that information?! So what happened there huh? Oh let me guess, that's none of my business, too, right?" He finished his outrage and got up to leave the diner.
She followed him outside, just in time to hear him beginning to order a taxi. She yanked the phone from his hand, and slammed it shut. He began to open his mouth to say something, but the fire he saw burning in her eyes made him stay quiet. He had made Scully mad before, but he's never seen this kind of raw passion emitting through her.
"You want me to tell you how I fucking feel? When I left, I was alone and lost. I thought I still at least had you by my side, but even that slowly dissipated. I was finally starting to adjust out there, but then my fertility doctor called me and turned my life completely upside down. She told me that they had misplaced a vile, and had one more embryo if I wanted to take that chance. I didn't know what to think, and I was terrified! I wanted to call you, but we had hardly even spoken, and what the hell would I have said anyway?! Surprise, there's a chance I could get pregnant and it would be yours. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up if it didn't work out again, so I just waited until I knew for sure. My mom suggested I move back here, and the more I mulled that idea over the better it sounded. I hated Salt Lake, I didn't have anyone out there, I was lonely. When I came back for the results, I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could share with you how I felt in that moment, since that's what you seem to want me to do, but I honestly didn't know how to feel. I was excited, scared, nervous. The thing that pulled at me the most was whether to even tell you or not. I didn't know how you would react to me just walking back in to your life, baby in tow. We had never discussed it before when I asked you to be the donor, and I became weary of the unknown. It wasn't fair, to keep this from you, and for that I'm sorry, but this was my decision."
Mulder just stood there and watched as Scully paced and finished her outburst. His mind was running a mile a minute, thoughts bouncing in every direction. He was at a loss for words, and didn't know how to approach the overtly hostile Scully. He couldn't mess this up, not now. The first thing he needed to do was apologize. He knew he was being an idiot, intentionally antagonizing her, but it's the only way he knew how to deal with his own emotions.
"Scully...I'm so sorry. I-"
"No, Mulder, don't. I - I can't do this anymore right now. I'm exhausted, I'm starving, and I just can't handle this. You're still welcome to stay at my mom's house, but I need to go home alone. I'll understand if you want to stay at your own apartment, too. I'll make sure Mom checks on you tomorrow, if that's the case." She said, walking towards her car, finalizing the sour conversation.
He knew he needed to fix this, immediately. If he let it fester, Scully would shut him out completely. Although staying at his own place sounded like the safest plan for tonight, he knew it would be harder for her to avoid him if he returned to her mom's.
He called a taxi, and gave her some time to be alone as he headed to his apartment to grab a few more things. He wasn't planning to leave Maggie's house anytime soon, especially not now. Before heading back, he needed to gather his thoughts on everything that happened tonight. His mind still reeling over the information that Scully had disclosed. She was pregnant, with his child. The final attempt had been the winner. He scolded himself for causing her to feel that he had become so unapproachable over their time apart. Had she really never known how much he cared about her? He realized now that he should have let her see how the failed attempts affected him, instead of shielding his own sorrow for her benefit.
When he gave himself enough time to calm down and make a plan of action, he grabbed his things and headed to his car. He had a few more stops to make if he was going to get this apology perfect.
He stopped in at a small store near his apartment that he passed on his daily runs. There was always something that caught his eye in the window and made him smile, but he never had a reason to buy it. Now was the perfect opportunity. After that, he made his way to the grocery store on the way back to Maggie's. He knew that as mad as Scully was, the blow could be slightly softened with her favorite treats. At least he hoped that was still the case, for his sake. He picked up a card and bag with the rest of her apology gift, and just sighed. He knew it wasn't going to make everything okay, but it was a start.
When he arrived back at the Scully residence, he entered the house anxiously. He figured Scully would lock herself up in her room, and after taking in his surroundings, he knew he was correct. He could hear Mrs. Scully in the kitchen, and almost feared facing her more than Scully.
"Fox, you're staying here tonight?" She asked with slight surprise in her voice. She didn't seem angry, and that made Mulder relax.
"I, uh, yeah. If that's still okay. If not I can-"
"Nonsense, of course it's okay. We wouldn't have offered originally if it wasn't." She said, cutting off his stammering.
"Yeah, well that was before I made a complete ass out of myself." He scoffed.
"Want to talk about it? I just put on some tea before bed." She said warmly. When Dana arrived home in a fury, she could tell the conversation did not go well. Normally she would ask what was wrong, and try to calm her daughter down, but she didn't think there was a chance of that tonight. She was curious to find out what exactly happened, and seeing Mulder as beat down as he looked, she knew he'd be the one to tell her.
"Uh, sure." He answered cautiously. He had hoped that Scully told her mother enough so that she would be able to help him out on how to proceed in this situation. The both got themselves comfortable at the kitchen table, tea cups in hand.
"I know you two had a disagreement, but I don't know many details. Dana didn't say much. What happened?" She craftily asked.
"We, uh, she told me about the pregnancy. Well, I found out from a nurse at the hospital before dinner, and I just, overreacted. I - uh..." He looked at her nervously, and noticed that she reassured him to continue with a warm smile. He let out a heavy sigh of defeat. "I overheard you two talking last night, and I just thought, she was hiding something from me. Someone, I guess. I assumed she was in a relationship, and that tore at me inside. When I found out she was pregnant, I just lost it. I said some things that I now regret." He said wincing at the memory of his own words.
"Did she, um, tell you about the baby?" Maggie asked cautiously, she could tell what Mulder's assumptions were, and didn't know if they had gotten far enough in the conversation to establish the truths of the situation.
"Yeah, she told me. That thought never even crossed my mind when I played out all the different scenarios of how this happened. I was - I'm still overwhelmed about it." He let out in a small voice.
"In a good or bad way?"
"In a good way, I think. I just never thought about it, anymore at least. After the failed attempts, it's never been a priority for me. I didn't think I ever wanted kids, until Scully asked me. Even then I was unsure about what role I would play, what involvement she would even want from me. I'm now more weary about that more than ever. I don't want to screw this up."
"Did you tell her that?" Maggie asked genuinely. She was relieved to know that Mulder wanted this, with Scully. She knew that they would be able to fix this and come back from whatever argument they had this time.
"I never really got the chance." He said with a small chuckle. Maggie smiled in response, she knew exactly how stubborn her daughter could be.
"Well, I'm sure you'll get that opportunity soon. Just give her some time to cool off. I'm glad you came back tonight though, and that we got a chance to talk. I'm getting rather tired, so I'm calling it a night." She said, patting his hand and getting up to make her way to bed.
"Uh, Mrs. Scully, can you, uh-" He paused, and stood, grabbing the wrapped gift bag off the table. "Could you leave this in her room on your way to bed?" He asked shyly.
"Of course. Good night, Fox." She said taking the bag, curious as to what the contents were.
"Good night Mrs. Scully." He said, making his way to his own room, hoping that his gift would give Scully some reassurance of where his heart lies.
As she sauntered upstairs, she slowly crept into Scully's room. She realized the bedside lamp was still on, and that her daughter was awake, working on a report. She also noticed the dried tears on her cheeks.
"Honey, you're still up?" She asked innocently. Maggie knew that working was her daughter's way of distracting herself from dealing with her own emotions.
"Uh, yeah. I couldn't sleep so I was finishing up some research. Is that for me?" She asked pointing at the gift in her mother's hand.
"It is. Fox brought it for you when he came home."
"He - he's here?" Scully asked, trying to mask the hopefulness in her voice.
"Well he is staying here, Dana. I know you two had a disagreement, and from how beaten down you both look, I can tell it was bad. Just give him a chance to explain things to you. I think it'll all work itself out." She kissed her daughter's forehead and gently placed the gift next to her on the bed, bidding her a good night.
Scully stared at the bag for a few moments. She was almost insulted that Mulder thought he could buy her forgiveness, but she knew him well enough to know this was only the ice breaker of his apology. Truth is, as hurtful as the things he said to her were, he deserved to be angry. She had kept him in the dark about the entire situation, despite how deeply he was unknowingly involved. She automatically assumed that he would react negatively, and let her fear take control of the situation. She hid behind the avoidance of the predicament, but if she wanted Mulder in her life, she knew she had to face it head on.
She picked up the bag, and found a small card inside. On the cover was a picture of a baby rattle, and she shakily flipped it open to read his inscription in the all too familiar handwriting.
Scully,
I'm happy that you never gave up on your miracle. On our miracle.
Mulder
She re-read it several times, wiping the small tear that escaped her eye away. All the doubts she had on how Mulder felt about the new revelation slowly began to dissolve. She never gave him a chance to explain, she just bombarded him with the truth and ran away from the confrontation. She began to open the rest of the gift, and smiled as she pulled out her favorite sweet treats. Her smile grew as she pulled out the final item in the bag. It was a small, gray alien stuffed animal. She chuckled to herself and shook her head. Only Mulder would find something like this to make the perfect gift.
She took a deep breath and jumped out of bed. She needed to do this before she lost her confidence. She glanced at herself in the mirror, and smiled at how well you can see her growing bump in her pajama tank top. She rubbed her belly for reassurance of her decision, and made her way to the downstairs guest room.
