Summary: After being summoned to Pope's office, Brenda thinks her day couldn't possibly get any worse. But then it does and it's all Captain Raydor's fault. The one in which Brenda gets a dose of feelings and doesn't know what to do with them.
Pairing: Sharon Raydor/Brenda Leigh Johnson (non romantic)
Universe: Set during The Closer
Note: Please note that this story mentions both panic attacks and claustrophobia. If these things trigger you, it may be better for you to skip this chapter. Stay Safe!
IV. Under The Cover Of Darkness
Brenda was seething. The meeting she had been called into that morning, or more like summoned into, had turned out to be nothing like she had expected or hoped. The second she stepped into Pope's office and saw Captain Sharon Raydor leaning against the window sill, she got a bad feeling and that feeling was only confirmed when Pope reminded her in no uncertain terms that she was supposed to be working together with the FID Captain.
"And I don't have to remind you what the term 'together' means, do I?" he asked Brenda, fixing her with a piercing stare. "Because I will get you to look it up in a dictionary if you need any help."
"No, sir," Brenda had muttered, her cheeks burning under not only Pope's stare but also Raydor's gaze.
"So just to make this clear, Chief Johnson," Pope continued, clearly intending to make her as uncomfortable as he possibly could. "You will, from this moment forth, share all your information with Captain Raydor and you will ask, no you will tell, your Division to stop railroading FID's investigation." There was a pause and Brenda knew he wasn't finished. "And stop moving witnesses around and have Force Investigation Division's detectives turn up to empty interview rooms. It's childish."
Brenda was convinced Raydor was gloating but when she dared to shoot a sideways glance at the other woman in the room, Brenda found Raydor studying her nails. The Captain looked, by lack of a better word, bored. It only added to her agitation. Oh! That woman!
"Captain Raydor will accompany you back to your Murder Room and collect the files on your suspect," Pope added and Brenda reluctantly nodded.
"If she must."
"Oh, I must," Raydor answered.
The bitch speaks, Brenda thought, and focused her eyes on Sharon, plastering a smile on her face. "Well then, Capt'n," she almost spat out the words. "If you'd like to come with me…"
"I know the way," Sharon countered. "No need to lead."
"I insist," Brenda said, adding a little jerk with her head. "Please."
They left Pope's office together and with every step in the direction of the elevator, Brenda felt angrier than she ever had before. She was fed up with Raydor constantly interfering with her cases. The woman was infuriating, arrogant and stuck up and Brenda would happily sell her soul and every organ in her body if it meant never having to see the brunette again.
The two women approached the elevator together and Brenda pressed the button before Raydor could. It was petty but it gave her some small measure of satisfaction. She tapped her foot impatiently and a quick glance at Raydor confirmed her suspicion that the Captain hated it. With a soft ping the doors swung open and Brenda stepped into the elevator. Sharon was right behind her. It was empty besides the two of them and Brenda groaned. She'd hoped they wouldn't be alone.
The doors slid closed and the elevator began moving down. Seconds ticked by and Brenda became increasingly aware of the fact she was stuck in a small space with the FID Captain. She was tempted to just pull her gun on the other woman. No one infuriated her more than Sharon fucking Raydor.
"That was… enlightening," Sharon observed and Brenda almost choked on her own breath.
"Excuse me?" she questioned, anger pulsing through her veins. "Enlightening?"
Sharon glanced at Brenda. She could see the anger flash through the Chief's brown eyes, recognised the smirk of disdain that briefly appeared on her face. It had been like this since their first meeting in a hospital waiting room a couple of months earlier.
Sharon had known full well that Brenda had had no intention of sharing her case, let alone the two of them working together. But now she didn't have a choice and Sharon would be lying if she didn't think the Chief deserved ever bit of Chief Pope's disapproval.
"I'm sure we will work out a way of staying out of each other's way," Sharon said slowly.
Brenda was about to say something that would have been way too personally aggressive when a sharp ringing noise cut through the silence. With a sickening jolt and a metallic creak, the elevator came to a stop, sending Brenda flying into the wall.
"What the…" Sharon snapped and slammed her hand against the control panel of the elevator. All the lights had gone off.
The ear piercing ringing of the fire alarm continued and Brenda slowly staggered back to her feet. Her mind was spinning as she tried to work out what had happened and then she spotted the sticker on the elevator wall. Do Not Use In Case Of Emergency. She also remembered hearing someone say that the elevators were designed to instantly stop working in case of a fire.
"The fire alarm," Brenda explained and looked at Sharon. The brunette was still pressing buttons at random. "It won't work, Capt'n. The elevators automatically shut down in case of a fire." Sharon looked up. "Or during a random fire drill."
"You're saying we're stuck in here until they switch that thing off?" she asked, sounding a little panicked.
"I'm saying we're stuck in here until they know for sure there isn't an actual fire," Brenda explained and a feeling of dread settled in her stomach. "After they have gone over every floor of this building."
"There are ten floors!" Sharon exclaimed.
Brenda slid down to the ground, back against the wall. Outwardly she appeared calmer than she felt. There was no way she was going to show Raydor that being trapped in an elevator creeped her out. "Guess we'd better get comfortable."
Sharon looked at Brenda, exasperated. "You're serious?"
"Deadly."
Sharon took a deep breath and then slowly slid down to the ground herself. She crossed her legs so that she was sitting in the lotus position and she was suddenly a little grateful for the darkness that surrounded them. The greenish light that came from the little emergency light above the control panel cast an eerie glow around the small space that created the illusion they were trapped in some science fiction movie.
Several floors down, the members of Brenda's Division were filing out of the Murder Room. Provenza, still eating the donut he'd picked up just as the fire alarm went off, was at the back together with Flynn. Gabriel, Tao and Sanchez were a few steps ahead of them and they were joined by detectives and officers from other departments as they all made their way towards the staircase. It was organised chaos but people were used to it; the alarms were tested at random once a month and fire drills were not uncommon.
"Hey, where's the Chief?" Sanchez asked as he held the door for the rest of his team.
"In a meeting with the Pope," Provenza growled. "We'll see her downstairs, I'm sure."
Sanchez didn't argue and they started their descent down the several flights of stairs in a neat and orderly fashion. People were talking amongst themselves and Flynn suggested someone had probably been smoking a crafty cigarette in one of the toilets which had led to the alarm going off.
They reached the designated meeting point outside the building, in the middle of the large open space, and Provenza pointed at Pope. "Told you he'd be here before anyone else."
"Lieutenant Provenza," Pope said when he noticed the Major Crimes Division walk towards him. He scanned their faces and quickly realised who was absent. He looked back in the direction of the building. People were still streaming out of the emergency exits. "Where's Chief Johnson?"
"We thought she was with you, sir," Sanchez answered. "Didn't you have a meeting this morning?"
Pope nodded. "I sent her and Raydor back to Major Crimes fifteen minutes ago."
"Did you say 'Raydor'?" Provenza's face fell and behind him, Sanchez and Gabriel shared a concerned look.
"Yes. They were on their way back to Major Crimes to…"
"Did they take the elevator?" Flynn interrupted him and Pope looked up.
"I doubt they took the stairs, Lieutenant."
"Oh, this is bad," Flynn sighed. "This is really, really bad."
"Why?" Pope asked. "The elevator will just reach the lobby and…."
Tao shook his head. "No, sir. These elevators were designed to immediately come to a full stop in case of an emergency. The second the fire alarm went off, all elevators across the building stopped working." He scrutinised Pope's face. "There could be people stuck all across the building." He cocked his head. "You did inform the Fire Department of that, didn't you, sir?"
"Of course," Pope said but when he turned around they all saw him quickly pull out his cell phone and frantically make a call.
"They're not really stuck in there together, are they?" Sanchez asked, looking at Provenza.
The lieutenant pulled a face. "One can only hope not."
Pope returned. "The Fire Department will do a floor by floor sweep of the elevators."
"Tell them to focus on the Chief and Captain Raydor first," Provenza said, sounding deadly serious.
"Why?"
"Because there are two people in this world who should never be left in a small space unsupervised," Flynn replied, his eyes darkening a little. Behind him Sanchez snickered a little at the thought. "The Chief and Raydor are those two people."
Pope looked incredulously at the members of the Major Crimes Division. "What could possibly happen?"
"Well," Provenza deadpanned. "Either FID or Major Crimes will probably end up with another murder case."
The endless ringing of the fire alarm was beginning to get on Brenda's nerves. She'd checked her watch, as much as she could see of it in the weak light, and realised it had only been fifteen minutes since the start of their ordeal but already she was feeling hot and uncomfortable she'd shrugged herself out of her sweater. Across the small space, Sharon had unbuttoned her blazer but had resisted taking it off.
"Surely they know we're in here," Sharon rationalised. "They do have cameras in these things, don't they?"
Brenda nodded. "And I'm sure they'll be checking them, Captain." She sounded irritated and pointed at the little red flashing light in the far right corner. "It's still running."
"You could always try the emergency phone," Sharon suggested and pointed at the red device on the wall behind Brenda. The blonde's head whipped up and she grabbed the receiver.
When she brought it to her ear she was greeted by a dial tone and she pressed the red button with the word 'emergency' on it. The line momentarily went dead before it began to ring. Once…twice… After ten rings without an answer, Brenda hung the phone back up in frustration.
"No one's pickin' up." She rested with her back against the wall and raised her eyes up to the elevator's ceiling. "I'm sure they'll be checkin' the elevators soon enough. I doubt we are the only unfortunate souls who ended up stuck."
"But I'm the only one who ended up stuck with you," Sharon muttered softly. She was pretty sure Brenda hadn't heard her and she was kind of grateful for that.
Sharon Raydor was by far not Brenda Leigh Johnson's biggest fan. Sure, she admired the fact that she was the highest ranking woman in the LAPD but she didn't necessarily admire the way she handled her cases, or her interactions with other divisions. Sharon couldn't explain what exactly about the blonde Southern woman irked her so much.
"Are you goin' to keep starin' at me or are you actually goin' to say somethin'?" Brenda snapped unexpectedly, catching Sharon by surprise. Brown eyes were ablaze with anger now. "Can you please find somethin' else to look at, Capt'n?"
"You're the only other person in here and, contrary to popular believe, not everyone enjoys bein' in the same small space as you, Chief," Sharon fired back but averted her eyes anyway. She honestly couldn't stand Brenda Leigh Johnson. How was she going to survive being trapped in here? The woman was her worst nightmare.
The accent alone was irritating, borderline trashy even, not to mention the hideous fashion sense, but there was something else… something about Brenda that got under Sharon's skin and whatever that something was, was what Sharon hated the most. Because she couldn't stand it when people got under her skin and she rarely allowed it to happen. But goddamnit, Brenda Leigh Johnson managed it without even trying.
Brenda could feel Sharon's eyes on her again but didn't look in the Captain's direction. If the Captain wanted to stare at her then Brenda wasn't going to tell her otherwise anymore. Instead she silently cursed herself for having left her cell phone on her desk that morning before going to the meeting with Pope. She'd expected to be back in her office no more than half an hour later. Suddenly Brenda's head whipped up, fuelled by a glimmer of hope.
"Do you have your purse?" she asked, fixing her eyes on Sharon.
"What? Are you about to ask me to give you my lipstick?" Sharon retorted, a little sharper than she'd intended. Her hands had gotten a little clammy and she tried to wipe them along her blazer without Brenda noticing. "You don't strike me as the type who cares that much about her appearance, Chief."
Brenda gasped. "What? I do care about my appearance, thank you very much. Just because I don't turn up for work in shoes that cost more than a month's rent don't mean I don't care…"
"If you say so," Sharon replied. "But to answer your question; No, I don't have my purse. It's in my locker." She shot a glance at Brenda's purse, drawing the obvious conclusion. The Chief didn't have her phone either. "And before you ask, I don't have my cell phone either. It's on my desk."
"Well, shit."
"How eloquently put, Chief Johnson," Sharon remarked.
Brenda threw her head back in frustration. "It's so hard to imagine you're not more popular," she spat in Sharon's direction. "Such a ray of sunshine."
Sharon didn't answer but slowly began taking off her blazer. Peeling it away from her skin only relieved some of the discomfort she felt. She was warm, uncomfortably so, and after she folded the blazer on the floor next to her, she pulled the silk fabric of her blouse away from her chest and fanned herself a little. She recognised the unmistakable pounding in her chest as her heartrate quickened.
"Are you okay?" Brenda wanted to know. Even from where she sat and with the light as poor as it was she could see Sharon was slightly flushed.
"Fine." Sharon wiped her hand over her forehead. She was sweating a little. "It's just hot in here."
Brenda couldn't deny that. It seemed that with every passing minute, the temperature went up by half a degree. She shifted uncomfortably in her spot on the floor, wiped her clammy hands along her skirt. Somewhere in the distance she heard a faint metallic rumbling sound and she hoped, hell, she prayed, it meant rescue was on its way.
Brenda jumped half a foot in the air when a sharp ringing sound cut through the silence in the elevator. Bewildered she looked up at Sharon and saw the brunette pointing at the emergency phone on Brenda's side. She scrambled to her feet in a rather unflattering fashion, and grabbed the receiver.
"Hello?" she asked, relieved that finally someone had figured out they were here.
"Ma'am, this is Commander Williams from the LAFD. Can you confirm how many people are trapped in the elevator?"
"Two," Brenda answered. "Myself and Captain Raydor."
It sounded like Commander Williams said something like, "I've found her" but Brenda wasn't sure and she couldn't hear what the person in the background was saying. Then the Commander's voice became clearer once he spoke directly to her. "We have received reports from various locations that people are trapped and we are in the process of freeing everyone but it may be some time before we get to you."
"What?!" Brenda sounded horrified and she looked over her shoulder at Sharon. How long exactly were they going to leave her here with that woman?!
"Your elevator appears to be stuck in between two floors so we can't get to you until the power is restored and the elevator moves," Commander Williams explained.
Brenda swallowed. She hadn't thought it possible for this day to get any worse but clearly she had been wrong. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How long are we talkin' about, Commander?" she asked sweetly.
"Three or four hours at best."
"Three or four hours?!" Brenda shrieked. She was certain she'd kill Raydor well before that, if Raydor didn't kill her first.
Behind her, Sharon had stood up too. "What's going on?" she wanted to know.
"LAFD reckons it'll be three to four hours before they get to us," Brenda answered.
Sharon just nodded. "Oh. Ok."
"Ok?" Brenda repeated. "Have you lost your mind?! It's not OK!" She focused her attention back to the Commander. "I understand the situation is complicated, Commander, but I would really appreciate it if you and your men could maybe, I don't know, come up with a plan to get us out of here within the next hour or so."
"It's going to take us over an hour just to clear the building and make sure the fire alarm was just a drill," Williams answered. "I can't send my men or anyone else in to work on elevators if I am not completely sure the building is safe."
"But it's alright for us to be left in here? Where exactly are we supposed to go if there really is a fire?" Brenda snapped. "Cut the crap, Commander. You and I both know the alarm was a drill. So why don't you just get your men up here and…"
"I have to follow the rules, Chief Johnson."
Brenda glanced at Sharon. "Yeah. Someone else in here knows all about that."
The Captain's eyes fixed on Brenda. "What exactly are you talking about?" she wanted to know. The tone of her voice hinted at frustration and she had crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"The Commander was just explainin' how he has to follow the rules," Brenda said. "I merely meant that you of all people should understand that."
"Me of all people?" Sharon arched an eyebrow. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
Brenda, still holding the receiver, stared back at Sharon. "All I'm sayin' Captain is that you like to follow the rules. Not even you can deny that." She narrowed her eyes. "I mean seriously, you have read the book from cover to cover, have you not?"
"Chief Johnson?" Commander Williams' voice drew Brenda's attention back to the phone. "Are you still there?"
"I'm stuck in a small metal box that feels like a goddamn prison cell. Where else would I have gone?"
"I'm gonna have to let you go now but I'll be calling you back later." There was a pause. "I'd say 'don't go anywhere' but… you know… considering the circumstances…"
"Very funny, Commander," Brenda sneered. She hung the receiver back before he had a chance to say anything else and slowly turned back around to face Sharon.
The brunette was still watching her, arms crossed, but now that Brenda studied her a little more closely, she noticed the little beads of sweat on Sharon's forehead. Sure, it was warm in the elevator and Brenda felt a little sweaty herself, but Sharon seemed uncomfortably hot.
"Hot flushes?" Brenda asked. She had experienced them herself but she wasn't about to share that with the bitch from FID. "I've been told they're terrible."
"No!" Sharon replied defensively. She knew exactly what this was and menopause wasn't it though right in this moment she would've happily cut off her right hand to know that it was just a hot flush. "It's just hot in here."
"Yeah, you said that already," Brenda reminded her.
"Well, then stop asking," Sharon suggested. "Do us both a favour."
Brenda wanted to answer but bit back her reply. Instead she slid back down to the floor and stretched out her legs. If she was going to be stuck here for several hours, she might as well get comfortable. She pulled her purse towards her and began rummaging through it. From 'her' side of the elevator Sharon watched in a mixture of shock and surprise as Brenda began putting random items she kept in her bag on the floor before eventually finding what she was looking for.
The water bottle was half empty as she had bought it the day before but it was still better than nothing. Brenda unscrewed the lid, took a sip and tried not to shudder at the taste of the lukewarm water. She then passed the bottle over to Sharon and the Captain eyed it up as if to determine it wasn't laced with poison.
"You don't have to drink it," Brenda drawled. "I'll happily keep it to myself if it's not good enough."
Sharon ignored the jibe, reached for the bottle Brenda was offering her and took two small sips before handing it back. The water helped ease some of the dryness in the back of her throat but did nothing to erase the other symptoms that were slowly creeping up on her. Her heart was still pounding, she was sweating and the more she looked around, the more it felt like the walls were closing in. Sharon tried focusing on one particular spot to at least battle the nausea that was starting to bubble up in her stomach but she didn't want Brenda to see her staring, so she kept moving the object of her focus slightly, which did nothing to help her.
Brenda began picking up the items she'd left on the floor and threw them back in her purse. Sharon saw a bottle of bright pink nail polish, the shade alone should be a crime, let alone the actual act of wearing said colour, several chocolate wrappers, a broken pen, a bottle of hand sanitizer and a packet of tissues. Most of it was what you'd expect to find in a woman's handbag but somehow it struck Sharon as odd. Brenda Leigh Johnson wasn't like most other women.
Brenda pushed her purse aside and folded her hands behind her head as she leaned back. "So," she began. "Does this mean that we'll be workin' together more from now on?"
Sharon blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, Chief Pope pretty much gave you my case. Does that mean you'll be around more often?"
"Not if I can help it," Sharon replied and sighed. "Chief, you do realise I am not out to get you, don't you?"
"Could've fooled me."
"Some days it amazes me you've been in this job as long as you have." Sharon shook her head. "Then again…."
Brenda's head whipped up, brown eyes darkening. "Then again what?"
"Not everyone in this building sleeps with the boss." The words just came out and just like that, there was nothing Sharon could do about it. She certainly couldn't take them back.
"It's nice to know what you really think of me," Brenda growled and shook her head. "Thank you so much."
Sharon let her head fall back against the wall, silently resenting herself for having lowered herself to Brenda's level. It was unlike her to get personal like this and she knew it was because she was slowly losing herself to the anxiety welling up inside her.
Silence fell between them as the minutes began to tick away. In the distance they occasionally heard a metallic banging sound but after a few such noises without any sign of rescue, Brenda's heart stopped fluttering whenever she heard it. Instead she just leaned back against the wall, eyes closed, almost willing herself to fall asleep.
Her eyes opened when she heard Sharon stand up. "What're you doin'?" she groaned without really looking at the other woman. "They're not comin' yet."
"I know that," Sharon struggled to get the words out and for the first time since the start of their forced time together, Brenda noticed a hint of uncertainty in Sharon's face. It was enough to spike her interest, or perhaps curiosity, and she looked at the older woman.
Sharon was pacing slowly, arms by her side, fingers clenching and relaxing every few seconds. There was tension in her neck and shoulders. Brenda could see it from where she was sitting. Sharon's steps were small and almost uncontrolled, like she wasn't fully aware of the fact she was pacing.
But Sharon was aware and there was nothing she could do about it. The anxiety coursed through her veins like an unstoppable freight train, leaving her head spinning and her ears rushing with the sound of her own blood and heartbeat. The thumping of her heart was so loud and so fast, it felt like it would break free from inside her chest at any moment. The dim lighting didn't help, only enhancing the darkness she already felt.
The penny dropped for Brenda and her jaw dropped. "Capt'n, are you claustrophobic?"
"No," Sharon countered as she pressed a hand against the elevator wall. The metal felt warm against her hand. The sensation was odd. "I just… I don't like small spaces, that's all. I'm fine."
"Okay, whatever," Brenda answered. . She continued to watch Sharon as she paced from side to side. The Captain didn't seem all that fine to her but if she said she was then Brenda chose to believe her. Besides, what were the odds that the Ice Queen from FID actually did have a fear of small spaces? Brenda couldn't imagine Sharon being afraid of anything. That would after all, require her to have a heart…
"I would just really like to get out of here," Sharon's voice was thick with what sounded to Brenda like frustration.
"I'm not exactly jumpin' for joy over here either," Brenda commented. She ran her hands through her hair and could feel her shirt clinging to her damp skin. The first thing she was going to do when she got out of here was take a shower.
From the corner of her eye she watched how Sharon fumbled with her watch, then picked at a button on her shirt and eventually placed her hands against the elevator wall, exhaling slowly.
Oh for heaven's sake, Brenda thought. Being trapped couldn't be that bad, right? All things considered, she was glad she wasn't stuck here with Pope! She continued to watch Sharon, watched the way she seemed to attempt to almost dig her nails into the metal.
Brenda recognised the signs but chose to ignore them. Sharon had said she was fine and she had no reason to doubt her. Besides, what was she going to do anyway? She couldn't remember the last time she'd attended a first aid course and she certainly didn't feel like offering assistance to Sharon Raydor unless of course she was dying. Brenda wasn't completely heartless.
"What the hell is taking them so long?" Sharon's voice was breathy.
Brenda pulled her purse back towards her and began digging around in it. From her spot near the wall Sharon watched as Brenda pulled out some sweets, the same tissues she had seen earlier, and her wallet. The next thing she yanked out was a paper bag and Brenda triumphantly held it up.
"What on Earth is that for?" Sharon suspiciously eyed up the paper bag.
Brenda looked down at the sugar coated paper bag in her hand. It had held six donuts the previous day. "Well, it's for you, Captain."
"Me?" the Captain shrieked. "What makes you think I need that?"
"Well, you are about to have a panic attack, are you not?" Brenda looked up at Sharon, saw the way those green eyes darted nervously behind her glasses. "Isn't that what people do in a situation like that? Breathe into a bag?"
"I am not having a panic attack," Sharon objected and after clenching her fists, she slid back down to the floor. She felt nauseous. "I'm fine."
"Oh, have it your way!" Brenda exclaimed and dropped the paper bag back in her purse. She shook her head. "Has anyone ever told you that you're incredibly stubborn?"
"Has anyone ever told you?" Sharon retorted.
Brenda took a deep breath and leaned back, again folding her hands behind her head. If Sharon didn't want her help then fine. Brenda wasn't going to give it to her. Maybe this whole crazy thing would just go away if she pretended hard enough that this wasn't really happening.
From behind closed eyes Brenda tried to start a conversation. "Tell me about your children."
"Why do you care about my children?" Sharon wanted to know.
"If we are going to be stuck here for three or four hours, we might as well find somethin' to talk about," Brenda answered dryly. "Your kids seemed as good a subject as any. Unless you'd rather talk work, of course."
Sharon shook her head. "It's fine."
Brenda plucked at a bit of fluff on her skirt. She wasn't good at small talk, and certainly not with someone she did not consider a suspect, and there was something almost daunting about having a conversation with Sharon Raydor but if they were going to be stuck together, the least she could do was learn a thing or two about her new partner-in-crime.
"Tell me about them," Brenda encouraged Sharon. "Please."
"Their names are Ricky and Emily," Sharon answered. "Emily is the eldest. She's a ballet dancer and she lives in New York. I don't see her all that often. Only when she flies into Los Angeles, really. Which is usually only twice a year."
"You'd think that'd be plenty," Brenda mumbled. She couldn't imagine anyone voluntarily spending time with Sharon Raydor. It was probably the reason her kids lived so far away. But she focused on Sharon again and asked, "And your son?"
"Ricky works in San Francisco. He comes up to LA every couple of months or so. He works with computers. Don't ask me what. It's too complicated." Sharon struggled to take a deep breath. She felt nauseous and the heat wasn't helping. She let her head fall back. The back of her throat was dry and she could feel her heart in her throat.
Brenda watched Sharon a little more closely. She seemed to be sweating more. Strands of dark hair were sticking to her forehead and her cheeks were a little more flushed whilst at the same time Sharon's face appeared to drain of its colour. Brenda pushed herself up, alarmed by the physical signs, and kept her eyes on Sharon as she slowly moved over to the other side of the elevator.
The sound of something hitting the elevator floor startled Brenda. The next thing she knew Sharon had spun around, green eyes wide, and Brenda noticed the brunette was no longer wearing her glasses. Panic was etched across Sharon's face and she frantically looked around.
"My glasses," she shrieked. "I've lost my glasses."
The darkness in the elevator made it almost impossible to see, even more so without glasses, and Sharon dropped down to her knees and began feeling around on the floor. Her heart pounded in her ears and it felt as if the world was spinning rapidly.
"Don't you have a spare pair?" Brenda commented, remembering Sharon was often swapping between her glasses. She suppressed a soft snort at the sight of Sharon scurrying around on her knees looking for her glasses. She would make sure to tell the rest of her Division about this later. It was too funny not to.
"I don't have my spare. My purse is on my desk!" Sharon cried.
It startled Brenda.
It wasn't just an outcry of frustration but an actual cry. With tears. She could hear them in Sharon's voice even if she couldn't see the older woman's face. A shiver travelled down Brenda's spine and she took a step back, shocked. She couldn't believe she was actually facing Sharon Raydor, on her knees and crying.
"Capt'n?" Brenda inquired, her voice softer than it had been so far. She reached out but didn't touch the brunette. She didn't want to startle her even more. "Capt'n, are you alright?"
It was a stupid question because it was clear to see Sharon was far from alright.
Sharon felt everything at once. Fear. Sheer absolute terror. The thundering beating of her heart in her chest made her feel sick. She could hear it in her ears, could feel the blood rushing through her veins. The walls were closing in on her and she began clenching and relaxing her hands, her nails digging into the palm of her hands. The pain wasn't sharp enough to ground her, to fight off the anxiety that washed over her. She felt sick. So sick she feared she would throw up.
She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't throw up in front of Brenda. But the walls just kept coming closer and soon there would be no air left. The tension in her chest as her lungs desperately tried to suck in air, left her panting. She tasted the tears on her lips but her brain didn't register she was crying. Her eyes were burning and her vision blurred, not only because she didn't have her glasses but because of the tears too. Sharon desperately searched for something to hold onto, something her fingers could actually touch. She felt dizzy and uncoordinated.
They needed to get out of here. Soon there would be no air left and they would both die a horrible death. They had to get out… They couldn't stay here... Not a moment longer.
The emergency phone rang again and Brenda staggered to her feet and answered it. "Commander Williams?"
"Chief Johnson, how are the two of you holding up in there?"
Brenda shot a look at Sharon. She looked like shit. "Never better." She swallowed. "Please tell me you have good news."
"Well, I have bad news and some not-so-bad news," Williams answered. "Which one would you like first?"
"Somehow I doubt it'll make a difference," Brenda groaned. She rested her head against her arm, suddenly feeling a little deflated. "Let's have it."
"We reached the floor where you took the elevator and my men will soon be on the floor below but our first suspicions were correct and you and Captain Raydor are actually stuck in between floors so unless we get the power going again, there is no way we can get you out."
"Fantastic," Brenda sighed. She clutched the phone a little tighter. "So no one's coming to pry open those doors?"
"If someone opens those doors, you'll probably end up falling to your deaths. You are about eight stories up. It's not a fall you're likely to survive so just be glad they're closed, eh?"
"Thank you, Commander," Brenda said and then ended the call. She turned around to see panic spread cross Sharon's face.
Green eyes darted from left to right, focused on nothing in particular. She saw the way Sharon's hands moved, like she was looking for something, and without thinking, Brenda reached out. She let her hand touch Sharon's and gasped when the brunette grabbed hold of it, yanking Brenda closer.
"Sharon?" Brenda asked and for a moment, Sharon seemed to focus on her. It was a fleeting moment and then it was gone. Brenda desperately tried to work out what was happening.
Was the Captain really having a panic attack? What was she supposed to do?
"We need to get out," Sharon said. Her voice was panicky and somewhat high pitched. "Chief… We need to get out." She tried to pull herself free but Brenda's grip on her wrist instantly tightened and she instinctively pulled Sharon away from the door.
"No, no, no," Brenda soothed and her hand moved up from Sharon's wrist to her shoulder and she placed her other hand on Sharon's arm. Brown eyes found green. "Capt'n, listen to me." She rephrased herself. "Sharon… Sharon, I need you to listen to me, okay? Can you do that? Can you listen to me?"
"We have to…" Sharon began again but Brenda shook her head.
Her grip a little firmer now, Brenda pulled Sharon back towards the wall opposite the doors and slowly sank down to the ground, pulling Sharon with her. She was surprised the brunette went willingly. It was only when her arm came around Sharon's shoulder that Brenda noticed the Captain was shaking and she pulled her closer. Sharon rested her head against Brenda's shoulder. She was whispering to herself but Brenda couldn't hear what she was saying.
When Brenda felt something trickle down the side of her neck, she nearly jumped. Sharon was actually crying. Brenda was unnerved by this. It was one thing seeing Sharon Raydor nervous but actually seeing her cry?! That was a whole other kettle of fish.
Sharon's brain was spinning. Her head hurt. She closed her eyes so she couldn't see the walls anymore, couldn't see them coming closer. Her breath caught in the back of her throat in between sobs and her lungs were burning. The adrenaline coursing through her veins slowly started to wear off, causing her body to crash and the tears to fall even faster.
Brenda's fingers found their way into Sharon's hair and she clumsily stroked the brunette's head. She felt self-conscious and uncomfortable. This was something she would never have expected from Sharon Raydor, the ice cold bitch from FID. But here Sharon was, curled up against Brenda in the midst of a panic attack, and Brenda no longer recognised her. She didn't know who this woman was but this was not the woman she had come to loath recently. The woman in her arms was a crying mess.
"You're okay, Sharon. I've got you," Brenda soothed. She didn't know what to say or what to do and tried to remember back to the times her Mama had held her like this when she cried. When she had her heart broken by a boy in school. When she failed an exam. When her first marriage broke down. So many times had Willie Rae held her like this and Brenda couldn't remember a word of what she had said to her.
Brenda looked at the elevator doors, remembering what Commander Williams had said. She hadn't considered the possibility that the elevator was actually stuck between floors. The thought of there being nothing but certain death behind those doors was unnerving.
"Tell me more about your children," Brenda tried to draw Sharon's attention away from the panic she was experiencing. Talking helped to keep her own thoughts at bay too. "You said Emily does ballet. Is she in anythin' right now?"
"Romeo… and… Juliet," Sharon stammered. "She's…. She's Juliet."
"Wow," Brenda smiled. "She must be really good."
Sharon's voice was weak, her words spaced out. "She is amazing."
"Good. Keep talkin'," Brenda encouraged her. "When was the last time you saw her?"
"I'm supposed to be… going… next week," Sharon answered. She took quick, shallow breaths in between the words and Brenda worried for a moment that the Captain would end up hyperventilating but then she realised the gasps were becoming less frequent and desperate.
"You're flyin' out to New York? My brother lives in New York," Brenda said. "I wonder if he's ever been to see your daughter dance. He loves the ballet and theatre. He and Frank go all the time."
Sharon remained silent and Brenda could hear her trying to take deep, slow breaths. She wondered how many times Sharon had had to do this before.
"Just breathe," Brenda coaxed. It was as if her brain kicked in then. "Sharon, honey, it's going to be okay. I am right here." The words continued to fall as the minutes began to tick by and before Brenda fully realised what she was doing, she was telling Sharon the story of how she got caught up in a thunderstorm when she was seventeen and had come home soaking wet but smiling because she loved the sound of thunder so much.
"Mama looked at me like I'd lost my mind but I'd never felt better," Brenda concluded, smiling. "Thunderstorms in Georgia are unlike anything you've ever seen." She turned to look at Sharon. Her head was still on Brenda's shoulder and she was staring into the distance. Brenda doubted Sharon saw anything at all. Gently, she squeezed Sharon's hand. "Like some things in Los Angeles are too, I suppose."
Brenda talked to Sharon like she would talk to an officer who had been shot. In a flash she was back in a helicopter taking off from the roof of a mall with Julio Sanchez lying in her arms, his blood pouring over her hands. She had told him to listen to her, to focus on her voice, to just hold on. She'd have said anything to make sure he wouldn't slip away and right now, in this moment, Brenda knew she had to hold on to Sharon too.
"This will be over soon and we're goin' to walk out of here together and it's all goin' to be okay."
As the worst of the attack began to wear off, Sharon's body crashed. It was what always happened. She'd experience the panic attack and then collapse. It felt like she'd done two marathons and now that the tension in her chest subsided, she inhaled, sucking in the air. Her body relaxed further into Brenda's and without either woman fully realising it, Sharon's head slid down Brenda's side and eventually came to a rest in her lap. Brenda pulled back, raising both her hands to provide Sharon with an opportunity to move, but she quickly realised the brunette wasn't going to. Slowly she lowered her arms and fingers threaded through Sharon's hair.
"It's ok," she said. "I'm right here and I won't let you go through this alone."
Brenda only shook Sharon gently when, after a few minutes, she still hadn't moved. That was when she realised the Captain had fallen asleep and Brenda stiffened for a moment, struck by the twisted and awkward intimacy of the moment. She was sitting in an elevator with Sharon Raydor asleep in her lap…. And right in that moment, Brenda didn't even mind. She was almost relieved she was the one Sharon had ended up stuck with because Brenda couldn't imagine anyone else coping with what had happened. She hadn't expected to cope herself but she hadn't had a choice.
Seeing Sharon come undone reminded Brenda that Sharon was human. Sure, she worked for Internal Affairs and everybody hated her, but there was a real person behind the cold and distant exterior and Brenda had caught a glimpse of that person today. She had seen the real Sharon when she looked into those green eyes, had seen the side of her she knew Sharon always tried to hide. That alone changed the way she saw her and as she let her fingers slide lazily through Sharon's dark locks, Brenda rested her head back against the elevator wall and let her eyes fall shut.
Minutes ticked by in silence.
Brenda's eyes snapped open when the elevator unexpectedly moved, jolting her forward. She reached out to put her hand against the floor to steady herself and in that same moment Sharon sat up, eyes wide, and turned to look at Brenda. She seemed to register the closeness and instantly moved herself away. The blonde saw the flash of panic behind Sharon's eyes and her hand reached out for Sharon's in an attempt to bring the closeness back.
"Don't worry," she promised. "It's okay."
The elevator stopped moving again and Brenda let her breathe escape.
"What was that?" Sharon wondered.
"Probably the engineers trying to get things moving," Brenda explained. "It's stopped now."
Sharon sat back but didn't say anything.
Brenda saw the outline of the glasses on the elevator floor two steps from where Sharon was sitting and she reached out to pick them up. She handed them back to Sharon and their fingers touched when Sharon accepted them. The brunette didn't make eye-contact but whispered a quiet, "Thank you" before putting the glasses back on.
The sound of metal scraping against metal filled the elevator and Brenda's eyes darted to the doors. To her surprise she saw they were slowly opening. The tiniest gap was visible but it was a gap at least. Her heart leapt up in her chest and next to her, Sharon scrambled to her feet, eyes also fixed on the door.
"Chief Johnson? Captain Raydor?" an unknown male voice called.
"Yes!" Brenda eagerly replied and stood up too. "What's happenin'?"
"We're breaking open the doors. We've lowered the elevator far enough for you and Captain Raydor to get out, ma'am. But it will require you to slide out and drop several feet. Is that something you can do?" the male voice answered.
Brenda turned to look at Sharon. The brunette nodded. "Yes!" Brenda called back. "We can do that."
"Okay. Just a few more minutes and I'll have you out of here. My name's Dave by the way. And it would seem you have a welcome party here waiting for you."
"Hey Chief!" Brenda recognised Flynn's voice above everyone else's.
Minutes felt like hours but eventually Dave told them that the door was open wide enough for them to slide through and he would catch them. After warning it was about a five foot drop, Brenda grabbed her purse and headed towards the doors first. She was keen to get out and the thought of lights and people and the sound of voices and, most of all, chocolate, made her forget about everything else.
"Ready?" Dave called.
"Ready!" Brenda called back. "Catch my purse!"
She dropped the black tote through the opening and heard someone wonder out loud what the hell she kept in that bag. She then sat down, her feet through the opening and pushed herself through the open doors. The fall was short and brief and Brenda was caught by a pair of arms that turned out to belong to David Gabriel. He flashed her a smile and she flashed one in return before spinning on her heel to find the rest of her Division standing behind her.
"How did ya'll get here so fast?" she wanted to know. "They said it would be hours."
"Couldn't leave you in there with her for much longer, Ma'am," Sanchez answered and jerked his head in the direction of the elevator. Brenda turned around just in time to see Sharon make the jump and land in Dave's extended arms. She looked at the Captain for a moment longer before averting her eyes and brushing a curl out of her eyes.
"I thought you'd have killed her by now," Provenza commented and nudged Flynn in the ribs. "I owe you 20 bucks."
"I was only worth 20 bucks?" Brenda asked, insulted. "I'd expected better from you, Lieutenant. Being stuck with Capt'n Raydor deserves at least 50!"
"Of all the people to end up stuck with, it had to be Raydor," Flynn smirked. "I mean, she's alright if she's not investigating but gees, that woman is so damn uptight… Makes you wonder when the last time was she got laid!" He turned to look at Breda. "Don't envy you, Chief. I'd have killed her by now."
Brenda snorted. "It crossed my mind. More than once."
The sound of Dave's voice behind her drew her attention then. "Captain, is everything alright?"
Brenda turned around just in time to see Dave reach out and steady the Captain on her feet. She looked pale and her eyes were dull. Even from where she stood Brenda could still see that Sharon was shaking. Her hair was tangled and her clothes creased. She looked like a woman who had been through hell and back.
"Good god," Provenza whistled through clenched teeth. "She looks like crap."
Brenda looked at Sharon. She looked tired and defeated and although it was clear she had overheard what the members of Brenda's team had said, she did nothing to defend herself. Her shoulders had dropped and she didn't make eye-contact.
"Thank you for that eloquent observation, Lieutenant," Brenda snapped at Provenza, drawing a confused look from Flynn. She wasn't quite sure what had come over her. "I think that's enough."
"Chief?" Sanchez asked, arching an eyebrow.
"As you were," Brenda ordered. "Ya'll go back to work."
Provenza shook his head as he watched the Chief walk over to Raydor and put a hand on her arm. "What the actual hell…"
"I don't want to know," Gabriel shook his head. "Come on."
They turned and disappeared around the corner, leaving Sharon and Brenda alone in the corridor. The brunette didn't look at Brenda, kept her eyes fixed on the painting on the wall. It was hideous but she had to focus on something. The knowledge that Brenda had seen her at her most vulnerable unnerved her.
"I see old habits die hard," she pointed out.
Brenda's cheeks flushed, knowing Sharon meant the way she and her team had talked about her. "Capt'n, I'm sorry."
Sharon slowly turned around. She looked terrible and Brenda felt a sharp sting of pity for her, even though she knew Sharon wouldn't want her feeling that way. "I hadn't expected anything less, Chief." She tried to straighten herself and swallowed. "I've got to get back to work."
Brenda watched the older woman start down the corridor but then Sharon turned around. Green eyes found brown and for just a second, Sharon flashed a smile. It was only a glimpse but it said more than words ever could. "Thank you," she said. "For being there."
Brenda nodded. "Sure. Any time."
"Bye, Chief Johnson." Sharon turned then and continued down the corridor. .
Brenda let her head fall back, a feeling she couldn't quite identify gnawing away at her. "Bye, Captain Raydor. Sharon…."
With that, she picked up her tote, swung it over her shoulder and walked off in the opposite direction.