Chapter 4 (Mike's Guilt)
"I'm guessing you don't remember me do you Lieutenant" said Mike as he sat down on a seat, "I remember you, Commander but my dad was the one who knew you not me" said Kiana as she sat down on the bed. Kiana could already guess the general jist of this conversation, she had already had it with a lot of senior members of the RAN, your father was a good officer, you look a lot like him, so sad when he died blah blah blah she was sick of it. "I was wondering how your mother has been since…." said Mike unsure of how to approach this "since my Dad died" said Kiana finishing Mike's sentence. "Mum is fine, we moved back to Tasmania after Dad died, she went back to nursing when Bella was 5" said Kiana, "Who's Bella?" asked Mike, "Bella is my sister Isabella my sister" said Kiana. Mike was confused as far as he knew Kiana was Jules's only child. "Of course you were never told Mum was pregnant when Dad died but she never knew" said Kiana sensing Mike's confusion. Mike decided to move on from asking about Kiana's mother to trying to find out more about the young girl that her father had held such high hopes for.
Dutchy was walking back to his cabin when he almost run smack bang into RO, he knew that Lieutenant Calvert would be the hot discussion during the evening board game but decided not to press RO about what was said, he knew some things were better left a secret. "Dutchy you should be aware that Swain and the others are talking about the situation between you and Lieutenant Calvert" this made Dutchy hot under the collar, "what situation" he said as he swung around to face RO trying to sound normal but anyone listening could tell he was annoyed. "Swain thinks you two know each other but 2Dads has got it in his head that you use to go out and their is wild rumours about how her and the CO know each other or supposedly" said RO. "You of all people know that their are some things that are better left being secret but I will tell you this, Kiana's father was killed on duty on the Canberra, practically every senior officer in the Navy knows her, as far as Kiana and I knowing each other is true but how we do is none of 2Dads or anyone else's business" said Dutchy raising his voice. With this he turned away and walked to his cabin he shared with Swain failing to notice a stunned Swain, Charge and Bird, 2Dads just stood their with his boyish grin on his face as he said "I told you their was something going on between Dutchy and Lieutenant Calvert and I think it's huge".
Mike having finished his conversation with Kiana had decided to retire to his cabin for the evening but couldn't get himself into a deep slumber instead he kept finding himself back on the Canberra with Jules reliving the attack that killed him. After a couple of hours of this he gave up, heading to the bridge he found Kate and Ryan on duty, "can't sleep" said Kate noticing him as he entered the bridge. "Is it that obvious, I don't think I'm going to get any sleep while she is onboard" said Mike quietly; "the rumour is you knew her father and that you were on the Canberra when he was killed" said Ryan turning to enter the conversation. "Her father took me under his wing when I was about your age, he was the XO on Hammersley when I first joined up, on the Fremantle version" he added for Ryan's benefit, "when I graduated from ADFA he had his CO put in a request for me to go to the Canberra where he was the Principal Warfare Officer and later the XO". "You served with him along time then" said Kate as she checked a blip that appeared on the radar "nothing to worry about" she added rejoining the group, "why don't you go and get something of Swain" she added noticing Mike was yawning his head of.
While Mike never liked to take things to help him sleep, he also knew Kate would check with Swain to see if he did see him. Leaving the bridge Mike quickly checked Swain's cabin but finding only Dutchy in their he headed to the ward room where much to his relief he found Kiana sleeping, "easy for some" he said quietly but loud enough to cause Swain to turn in his seat. "Not quiet sir, I've had to give her some sleeping tablets, what can I do for you" said Swain standing up, "have you got anymore of those sleeping tablets, can't sleep because my mind keeps drifting" said Mike. "Back to the time you were on the Canberra sir" said Swain retrieving the tablets from his medical cabinet, "I know you were serving with her father when he was killed". Looking confused for a moment possibly due to the lack of sleep "Bird" was all he could manage to say, "I'm afraid so sir" said Swain as he handed over the tablets to Mike before retrieving a bottle of water for him to wash the tablets down with. "Bird doesn't quiet know everything" said Mike after he had taken the tablets and went to leave the ward room, "I'm the one who got her father killed". Swain couldn't help but stare at Mike as he walked down the corridor of the ship.
Mike made his way back to his cabin and closed the door behind him, how was he going to sleep why she was onboard the ship. Lying back down on his rack he tried to go back to sleep, closing his eyes he found himself back on the deck of the Canberra. Walking towards the stern of the ship, he spotted the tall blonde Lieutenant Commander looking out towards the horizon, "problem Mike" said Jules turning to face Mike. "I was the reason you were killed" said Mike looking at Jules, "how was it your fault that I was killed you didn't pull the trigger" said Jules with the same boyish grin and laugh that Mike had come to know and respect. Mike was hesitant to answer Jules's remark, 'I was suppose to be on watch, I got distracted, I failed to see the boat approach, you pushed me out of the way and got hit" said Mike. Jules sighed as he turned back to look at the horizon before turning back to Mike, "I distracted you and their were other people on watch, and as far as pushing you out of the way, I'm sure you would do the same for any of your crew under your command, I don't blame you" replied Jules. Mike slowly opened his eyes and stared at the roof of his cabin, he knew Jules never blamed himself for what had happened to him, but why did Mike feel so guilty about what had happened.