Chapter Four – The Heart of the Ocean.

Spencer's POV

As I undressed for bed I see Pat standing in my doorway, reflected in the cracked mirror as he came closer to me "I know you've been upset, and I don't pretend to know why." Then from behind his back he handed me a large black velvet jewel case, I took it numbly. "I intended to save this till the engagement party next week but I thought I would give it to you tonight instead as a reminder of my feelings for you..."

I slowly opened the box. Inside is a necklace a huge malevolent blue stone glittering with an infinity of scalpel-like inner reflections.

"My God... Pat. Is it a—"

"Diamond. Yes it is. 2000 carats." He took the necklace and placed it around my neck turning me from the mirror " It was once worn by Louis the Sixteenth. They call it Le Coeur de la Mer, the--

"The Heart of the Ocean. Patrick, it's... it's overwhelming."

"There's nothing I couldn't give you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you if you asked. Open your heart to me, Spencer." I knew I couldn't, I knew that his gift was only to reflect light back onto himself, to illuminate the greatness that was Patrick. It was a cold stone... a heart of ice.

Next day I got up and dressed walking outside along the railings it felt as though I hadn't felt the sun in years. I step down onto the main deck there are mums with babies, kids running between the benches yelling in several languages and being scolded in several more. There are old women yelling, men playing chess, girls doing hair and makeup and reading. Then I see Ashley playing with a little girl drawing in a sketchbook. Giving a small smile as she stood up to meet me.

"Could I speak to you in private?" I said quietly aware the people around her were eyeing me suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." She motioned her head and I quickly followed walking side by side both awkward, for different reasons.

"So, you got a name by the way?" It dawned on me that I hadn't introduced myself.

"Spencer Marie Carlin" There was an awkward pause "I feel like such an idiot. It took me all morning to get up the nerve to face you." I paused again unsure of how to continue. "I want to thank you for what you did. Not just for... for pulling me back but for your discretion"

I stopped again wondering how to explain myself "Look it wasn't just one thing. It was everything. It was them, it was their whole world. And I was trapped in it, like an insect. I just had to get away... just run and run and run... and then I was at the back rail and there was no more ship. Not enough to get away from them. And before I'd really though about it, I was over the rail. I was so furious I wanted to show them, to make them sorry!" I rushed out.

Ashley was just simply listening to me rant with a smile on her face "Uh huh. They'll be sorry, sure they will, you'll be the one dead."

I lowered my head "Oh God, I am such an idiot"

"That guy last night, Is he your boyfriend? That who your running from?"

"Worse I'm afraid." I said showing her the engagement ring.

"God look at that thing! You would have gone straight to the bottom." We both laughed, I felt comfortable around her, myself for once.

"So you feel like you're stuck on a train you can't get off because you're marrying this guy"

"Yes, exactly!" Somebody finally understood.

"So don't marry him."

"If only it were that simple. Oh Ash please don't judge me." She smiled at my use of a nickname

Looking for another topic, any other topic, I look to her sketchbook.

"What's this?" I sat on a deck chair and opened up the sketchbook each one was an expressive little bit of humanity: an old woman's hands, a sleeping man, a father and daughter at the rail. The faces are luminous and alive "Ashley, these are quite good!"

"Well, they didn't think too much of them in Paris. I just seem to draw them out. Besides, they're not worth a damn anyway."

"You're deranged!" Ashley had a boyish charm to her with her mid-length bouncy curls and petite figure she really was a picture herself.

I went back to the sketchbook and came upon a series of nudes. I was transfixed by the languid beauty she had created in the sketches they were soulful, real, with expressive hands and eyes. They feel more like portraits than studies of the human form almost uncomfortably intimate. "And these were drawn from life?"

"Yup. That's one of the great things about Paris. Lots of girls willing take their clothes off."

I studied one drawing in particular; the girl posed half in sunlight, half in shadow. Her hands lie at her chin, one furled and one open like a flower, languid and graceful. You liked this woman. You used her several times."

"She had beautiful hands."

"I think you must have had a love affair with her..." I said smiling but feeling slightly jealous.

"No, no! Just with her hands." She said laughing.

"You have a gift, Ash. You do. You see people."

"I see you." There it is. That piercing gaze of hers again.

"And?"

"You wouldn't have jumped."

Ashley's POV

We sat a while longer, looking at each other occasionally and I could feel my attraction to her becoming stronger. We decided to take a stroll

"You know, my dream has always been to just chuck it all and become an artist be free!" I said excited "I'm tired of people dismissing my dreams with a chuckle and a pat on the head."

"I'm sorry. Really... I am." I was I would hate to feel trapped into something.

"There's something in me, Ash. I feel it. I don't know what it is, whether I should be an artist, or, I don't know... a dancer or a moving picture actress!" She grabbed my hand pulling me along the deck toward a big wooden movie camera as she shoots into the shot and strikes a theatrical pose at the rail. She pulls me into the picture and makes me pose too, shoulder to shoulder. The ship's lights come on it was a magical moment... perfect.

"So tell me more about yourself Ash"

"Well, I've never really had to work my dad was loaded, so I went down to LA to the pier in Santa Monica. That's a wicked place they have the best roller coasters. I sketched portraits there for pocket money only in summer. When it got cold, I decided to go to Paris and see what the real artists were doing."

"Why can't I be like you? Just head out for the horizon whenever I feel like it. Turning to me to meet my eyes "Say we'll go there, sometime... to that pier... even if we only ever just talk about it."

"Alright, we're going. We'll drink cheap beer and go on the roller coaster until we throw up and we'll ride horses on the beach... right in the surf... but you have to ride like a cowboy" I winked and made her blush. The bluest eyes met mine once more, I found myself getting lost in them. I leant in, her face alight eyes flicking from my lips and back, leaning in too. Suddenly she pulls back staring over my shoulder, I glance to where she was looking. Paula and two of her fiends had approached us Spencer became instantly composed.

"Mother, may I introduce Ashley Davies."

"Charmed, I'm sure." The others seemed gracious and curious about me but her mother looked at me like a dangerous insect, which must be squashed quickly.

This was going to get interesting. I thought as they all left to change for dinner.