After
the needle had shown muscle weakness in both of Abigail's arms, House
had added a new symptom to the board: neuropathy.
"OK.
So. What causes abdominal pain, vomiting, hallucinations, and
sensory neuropathy?"
"Obviously this isn't
syphilis," Taub responded.
"Oh, thank you, Dr.
Taub! You see, I was really asking for what it's not. I
was confused but now you have shed light on the darkness that is this
diagnosis!" House replied, the sarcasm seeping from his every
pore. Just then Thirteen's pager went off, followed
by Foreman's and Taub's. They all glanced quickly at
House, and when he asked nothing, they sprinted for
the patient's room.
House, growing restless and
again bored, grabbed his cane and headed for Wilson's
office. He limped in without warning, and without
knocking. Thank God
he's not with a patient
House thought as he layed back on the couch, waiting for Wilson
to acknowledge his presence.
"Yes, House? Is
there something you want to talk
about?"
"Oh, nothing in
particular. Just here to visit with my best buddy," House
replied with fake cheer in his voice.
"Yeah,
right. You're either here for a consult, which I
assume you're not because you would have barged in here
naming the patient's symptoms and demanding my opinion rather
than barging in here and quietly contemplating. Which means
you're here about something else. You're here about
Cuddy." There followed a long silence in which House
avoided any eye contact with his friend. Finally he spoke.
"Why do you think she gave me this case?"
"Oh, Jesus, House, really? She gave it to you because
it's a mystery, it's a puzzle. It's
what you love."
"Exactly.
She's giving me what I want, enabling me."
"Yeah,
so? She's always done that. That's what makes
you two, well...you."
"But why? I mean, we've always had this thing going, but
she gives me this case of a 16-year-old girl with who the
hell knows what is wrong with her, just so she can
connect with another poor human being while standing by my
side trying to be all emotional so I'll get with her."
Inwardly House smiled at the last portion of his comment.
"OK, let's say I played along with your 'In Cuddy's Pants'
theory. If she were to give you a case totally for her
self-benefit, which, by the way, she wouldn't, she might be
doing it to teach you some humility. You know, to let
you actually feel something for another human
being."
House let out a quick sigh.
"Well, I'm feeling something: hunger. And I need somebody
to help me with that: you. Well, really just your wallet, but
you can be the third wheel if you really want to," House
said, feigning annoyance at the thought of eating lunch with
Wilson.
"Fine. Let me just sign these
few papers." When Wilson's flowing and somewhat girly
signature was upon the pages, he and House left for the hospital
cafteria.
"I'm thinking Mexican," House said
zestily as the elevator door closed.
After a lunch spent
in mostly silence with House pondering the case and Cuddy
(not necessarily in that order of priority), House returned to his
office to receive the update from his team.
"The
patient was scratching at her feet and ankles, saying she felt
like she had socks on that she couldn't get off," Thirteen
informed him.
"When she got out of the bed she fell
and couldn't get up," finished Taub.
"Why
was she trying to get out of bed? Wouldn't help her
get the 'socks' off," said House.
"She was
paranoid. She thought she was in imminent danger, so she got
out of the bed and fell down," stated Foreman.
"Hmm," House thought looking at the whiteboard.
"Increased muscle weakness and 'sock feeling' equals
increased neuropathy, and now paranoia," he said, scribbling the
new and increasing symptoms on the board is his sloppy,
all-capitals handwriting. "Test for hyporeflexia and
call me with the results."
Thirteen approached Abigail's
father. "We need you to help her sit up in bed so we
can do a reflex test," she told him.
"What are
you testing for?" he asked.
"Hyporeflexia.
It is a condition of below normal or absent reflexes."
"What will this tell you?"
"Well, if she has
it, it will give us a new symptom. Then we can come up
with some new theories about her condition." When Abigail
was sitting up, Thirteen hit both her knees with a
reflex hammer several times, only to have a late response from
Abigail. She called House. "Patient has
hyporeflexia, what now?"
"Test for
Guillain-Barré."
Thirteen reentered Abigail's room and
approached her parents. We need to test her for Guillain-Barré
syndrome. She tested positive for syphilis, and Guillain-Barré
attacks tissues instead of foreign infections. We'll need to
look for gangliosides."
"But...syphilis?"
Abigail's mother questioned hesitantly.
"We know this
is hard to hear, but right now we need to focus on testing for
the Guillain-Barré," Taub responded. Both of Abigail's
parents nodded a dazed "yes" and Thirteen and Taub went to
run the test.
