Chapter Four
Mal had been hell to live with since Inara left. Three jobs had come and gone in rapid succession, and Jayne had had to think about it to remember what moon they were on, they'd been coming and going so fast.
But they needed supplies, which Mal had to concede on account of Mal liked eating as much as anyone else, and there were decent markets here. So while he, Wash and Zoe handled the latest round of cargo negotiations, and Book and the doc went out to ply their trades among the townsfolk, Jayne had been fingered to play guard dog for the shopping trip.
Naturally Jayne had pretended that he didn't want to go shopping with Kaylee and River. Mal'd had to order him to go, with that special I'm-losing-patience tone, before Jayne's masculine dignity could be satisfied. There was no way he was letting anyone figure out that he'd wanted to go, although River had gotten a certain little smirk when he went off in his sulk that hinted maybe she'd picked up on it.
He'd enjoyed it. He didn't usually care much for shopping, but Kaylee tended to focus on food and mechanical bits and pieces, both of which Jayne found at least mildly interesting. River stopped to look at every gorram shiny thing she saw, of course, but if she delayed too long she was easy to pick up and move.
And there were the looks. Jayne liked the looks.
Any grimy thug with a little coin could find a piece of pretty to grace his arm when he was in town. He saw a lot of them, strutting around so proud of themselves, like they thought anyone believed they'd managed to secure those girls on account of their charmin' personalities.
Nice girls was something altogether different. Sweet little thing like Kaylee didn't go with any man for coin, you could see that just by looking at her tousled hair and make-up free face. River was a little strange, sure, but she was getting her share of yearning looks from the younger boys as she danced along, her short, flowing dress rippling over slender limbs. And Jayne walked just a little taller, enjoying the envy and disbelief in the faces of his fellow thugs as River hung off his arm and Kaylee chattered away, consulting with him as to what food they just couldn't live without and coaxing him to bargain for her so as to get the Big Scary Man discount. Jayne Cobb was a cut above that kind, at least for today, with not one but two pretty girls who'd actually coaxed him to go along instead of having to be paid to be seen with him.
"Hey, look at those!" Kaylee burst into his happy thoughts and made them much less happy by towing Jayne and River over to a clothing stall. Lots of ladies' shoes, Jayne noted, preparing himself for prolonged unhappiness. Kaylee wasn't usually silly over such things, but maybe it made a difference when there was more than one girl to a trip.
"We won't stay long," River murmured, clutching onto Jayne's hand as they pushed through the crowds. She'd been holding onto him more and more the bigger the crowd got, and it wasn't entirely unpleasant to have her little warm hands tucked into his big one.
"Good. Gorram sissified nonsense."
"Don't be grouchy, Jayne. Simon gave me some coin to get River something." Kaylee smiled and pointed. "River, how about those? Ain't they pretty?"
She was pointing at a pair of slippers of soft leather, something like moccasins, with flowers beaded along the sides and around the toes. They looked sensible, Jayne had to admit, apart from the beads. And River only had her too-big boots, which might be why she went around barefoot so much.
River reached out to touch the slippers with careful fingers. "They're light enough to dance in."
"They sure are. And they'll keep your feet from gettin' so dirty walking around Serenity without shoes all the time." Kaylee picked one up and examined it. "Stitchin' looks sturdy, too, and the leather's thick. They should last a fair spell."
River looked up at Jayne. "I could stand on my own feet in them," she said, making it sound kind of like a question..
Jayne sighed, and condescended to pick the other shoe up between thumb and forefinger and look at it. "Soles are a little thin, but that's good for stealth. They won't squeak or make noise, and you should still be able to climb in them."
"Great!" Kaylee gave him the big smile he always seemed to get for indulging River. Inara had been smiling at him more, too, before she left. There'd even been huggin' a couple of times, which was definitely an added incentive to keep being nice to the kid. "Shall we get these, sweetie?"
River thought it over and nodded. "Yes."
The slippers were purchased - Jayne grumbled and muttered the whole time, which sped up the bargaining mightily - and then River insisted on putting them on at once. Kaylee made it up to him by letting him stop for ammo and the like next, and River made him a little proud by accurately listing all the kinds he needed, what Mal and Zoe needed, and how much of each they should have on hand based on how much they used on average between shopping trips. To reward her, he spent some of the money he'd saved on the bargaining on sticks of cinnamon-flavoured candy, making Kaylee squeal happylike and River lose interest in the crowds and the shinies for a while as she sucked down three sticks without stopping.
And he kept getting those how-the-hell-did-someone-like-you-get-them-fine-girls looks, which almost made the increasing stickiness of River's grip worthwhile.
When the shopping was done, Kaylee curled up in the passenger seat beside him as he guided the new mule back to Serenity. "You think the meet went well?" she said a little anxiously. "You don't think the Cap'n'll get shot again, do you?"
That was always a concern, with Mal, but Jayne was in a good mood and inclined to be kindly - to Kaylee, at least. "He'll be fine. Zoe won't let him say anything too stupid."
"I hope so." Kaylee sighed. "He's been awful jumpy lately, though. Ever since Inara left. Even Zoe's havin' trouble managing him."
"That ain't wrong." Jayne found himself glancing over his shoulder to meet River's dark eyes as she rode curled up among the bundles. "You're the Reader - the Cap'n gonna do something stupid again?"
"Not today. He is more than a petty thief, and he will show her even if she is not here to see."
"Poor Cap'n," Kaylee said sadly. "He misses her so. I wish he'd just told her how he feels, then maybe she'da stayed."
"Or maybe she'da run faster." Mal'd gotten used to Inara, that was the trouble. Gotten to enjoy having a lady a cut above him around batting her eyes at him and making like he was something more'n a petty thief and a scoundrel.
"Insidious," River said behind them. "A creeping infiltration that finds its way into the cracks."
Kaylee was puzzled, but Jayne nodded. He was getting used to River occasionally dropping in on his train of thought. Insidious. Yeah. Inara had been insidious. Today had been insidious, too. Insidiously nice, insidiously comfortable, his enjoyment of doing little homely things with the two sweet girls who actually seemed to like him seeping in through the cracks of his tough, mercenary shell. For the first time, he had a brief moment of sympathy for Mal. Womenfolk were sneaky as hell.
By the time they reached Serenity, River was out like a light with her fourth stick of cinnamon candy clutched in her hand. Jayne wanted to wake her, but Kaylee wouldn't let him. There were few things, when you got right down to it, that Kaylee couldn't coax him into doing if he was sure nobody was watching.
"This way. Come on." Kaylee skipped ahead, giving him little approving glances over her shoulder. River was light enough, cuddled against him with her hair spreading over his shoulder, but Jayne found himself increasingly disturbed. River was making holes in his armour that he hadn't even noticed until she wriggled into them, making him like her. Making him enjoy the slight, warm weight in his arms and tuck her gently into her bed instead of just leaving her in the mule like he normally would. Mal really hadn't been as dumb as Jayne had thought. Females were worse than damp or mildew for getting in places they shouldn't be.
Kaylee took River's shoes off and tugged the candy out of her hand, and they tiptoed out of the room. Kaylee paused as she closed the door, though, smiling. "Don't she look sweet?" she whispered, watching River with a sort of tender look that made Jayne notice again how pretty she was. "Like a little sleepy angel."
"Just her way of lulling us into a false sense of security." Jayne found himself smiling a touch himself, and straightened his face out hurriedly. He'd go so far as to admit privately that River looked cute when she scampered around in his hat and her big boots, but cooin' over her while she slept was just too pitiful. "C'mon, let's get the mule unloaded."
Kaylee followed him, smiling still. "It feels nice, don't it?"
"What?"
"You know... goin' shopping, coming home, putting the youngun to bed..." Kaylee started sorting the parcels, putting all the second-hand parts she'd scrounged into a nice pile. "It feels so homely."
It had felt homely, and Jayne didn't like it much. "She ain't a baby, Kaylee. She coulda walked to bed fine if you'd let me wake her up."
"I know she could, but it's nice to baby her some when we can. I think it's good for her to do ordinary things like eat lots of candy and get carried to bed when she's pooped after a big day." Kaylee admired some chunk of metal that looked like an old-fashioned pump-handle to Jayne. "You know, normal little girl stuff."
Jayne grunted, privately agreeing with Kaylee. River seemed to do a lot better and less crazy when she was let hide in holes and eat candy and throw little tantrums without Simon having a heart-attack over it.
Then a cheery voice sounded out and just shot Jayne's good mood right in the head.
"Kaylee! A fine productive day for you too, I see." Mal grinned as he led Wash and Zoe up the ramp. "Didn't manage to lose Jayne down a hole someplace, but no day can be perfect."
Mal was always saying things like that. More since Ariel, but he'd always done it. So had Wash and Zoe. They were always so careful to make sure that Jayne didn't get it in his head that he might be part of the little family they had building up on Serenity. Wasn't nobody gonna miss him if he got killed, nor anyone to say 'we should go back and find him' if he got left behind. Except maybe Kaylee, and Mal didn't listen to her none when she got all sentimental.
"Make Mister Sunshine help you with the rest," Jayne growled, makin' like he didn't care none, but it was hard when it came right on the heels of Kaylee talking about how homey Serenity was getting and River cuddling up in his arms all sweet and sleepy and trusting. He grabbed an armful of food and headed up the stairs, his boots not loud enough to drown out Wash's voice down below.
"Well, someone's had a bad day. Kaylee, did you make him go into a dress-shop or something? Was he scarred for life by contact with pink frills?"
He was just through the door when he heard Kaylee's voice all sweet and plaintive. "Why you always gotta do that, Cap'n?" She sounded sad and disappointed, the way she did when Jayne said something she thought was mean.
"What'd I do?" Mal sounded surprised. Kaylee didn't usually talk like that to him, and Jayne eased back up to the doorway, tilting his head to hear better.
"You're always so mean to Jayne. Here he's spent all day protectin' me and River, walking all over and carrying stuff and buyin' her candy and holding her hand when the crowds scared her, and you come in and act like you didn't even want him here at all."
"He was holding her hand?" That was Wash, sounding surprised. "How is it that after two years Jayne is suddenly starting to behave like an actual person? Has someone been putting the milk of human kindness in his merc-chow?"
"Jayne is an actual person!" Kaylee's angry voice soothed something inside Jayne that he hadn't even known was aching. "You all treat him like he's some kind of... of intruder, like he ain't part of the crew and don't deserve to get treated like one."
"Hey now, Kaylee, Jayne is... well, he's Jayne." Mal sounded like he was trying to calm her down. "Gruff, mean, cares only about himself -"
"How can you say that?"
"How can he say what?" That was Book - sounded like the other party were back too.
"Cap'n said the day woulda been perfect if I'd lost Jayne down a hole." Jayne could almost hear the mournful look on Kaylee's face. "While Jayne was standin' right there. Cap'n's always so mean to him."
"I ain't mean!" Mal sounded affronted. "When am I mean?"
"Constantly?" Jayne blinked. That sounded like the doctor's prissy little voice. "I mean, not that I care, but Jayne is something of an unwanted step-child in the family that is your crew."
"See? Even Simon's noticed. You're always saying as how it wouldn't matter none if Jayne got hurt or killed, an' how you don't trust him, an' how he ain't nothing but go se." Kaylee was all but shouting at the captain now, bless her sweet heart. "You always talk so big about how we're you're crew an' that's what matters, but you don't treat Jayne like crew at all and it ain't fair!"
"Now just you hold on a minute." Mal was starting to sound testy, and Jayne risked shifting around just enough to see a little slice of the hold. Mal had his arms folded, and Kaylee was all but standing on his toes, waving her pump-handle around as she argued. "Jayne is a part of this crew, and that I will agree. But he isn't trustworthy, Kaylee, and I don't want you breaking your heart when he shows you that. Jayne looks out for Jayne, and that's the beginning and end of it."
"Yeah, well, maybe if he wasn't the only one did look out for Jayne he'd care more about other folks!" Kaylee flourished her pump-handle again, making Mal step back a little. "Loyalty goes two ways, cap'n."
"She has a point." That was Book, all deep self-assurance. "I will not deny that Jayne is a selfish, grasping fellow not overburdened with moral scruple -"
"Hey," Jayne muttered, feeling wounded. He'd always thought he and Book got along good.
" - but he is not without redeeming qualities, not the least his genuine fondness for little River. He has devoted enormous amounts of time to her over the last few weeks, far in excess of what you demanded of him."
"Only because she keeps followin' me around like a gorram puppy," Jayne muttered, embarrassed. He hadn't thought anyone had noticed.
"You shoulda seen him with her today, preacher," Kaylee said eagerly. "He bought her candy and let her hold his hand when she got scared of the crowd and everything."
"She was holding his... I'm disturbed now." The doc sounded it, and Jayne smirked. He'd not only had both the doc's girls all to himself all day, but they'd liked it and now Kaylee was standing up for Jayne instead of Simon for once. "I can't say I really care whether or not the man-ape's feelings get hurt -"
"Simon!" Kaylee sounded disappointed in him. Good.
" - but I have to agree with Kaylee. You don't treat Jayne the way you do everyone else. I know you don't like him, but you don't really like me either, and you still offered me and River a place in the crew."
"That I did." Jayne cringed. Mal sounded mad now. "But given as you are more or less completely dependent on my goodwill to keep you and your crazy little sister alive, doctor, I'm inclined to think you're bright enough not to do anything would make me think my trust in you is mistaken. Jayne is inclined to get real stupid when enough money is waved under his nose, and he and I have made it understood with each other that the day he is offered enough money is the day he will betray me, and that that day will be an interesting one indeed." His voice got cold. "Seems to me that the fact he got you and your sister captured on Ariel through being gorram stupid oughtta make you less inclined to defend him."
Jayne swallowed hard. Mal knew what he'd done. The doc knew, too. But neither of them knew that the other knew, and nobody else knew, and if it all came out here he wasn't gonna get anything as benign as 'left behind'.
"What? What'd Jayne do on Ariel?" Not Kaylee. Jayne didn't want little Kaylee to know what he'd done...
"Jayne had... something of a fit of temper." The doc was talking slow, the way he did when he wanted to give himself time to word things just right. "That was why we didn't make the rendezvous, and why we got captured. It was his fault, certainly. He was also the only reason we survived. I want it understood that he could have escaped easily. I sincerely doubt that anyone would have bothered to look for him if River and I had still been in custody. He did not do so. He freed both of us and stayed with us until the captain found us, an action that put him in danger and probably saved our lives."
"I didn't know." Jayne would never, ever say another harsh word to the doc, he promised himself. Not after makin' Kaylee think he was all heroic like that. "Poor Jayne, he musta felt so bad for gettin' you into trouble like that."
"Indeed he must. A fit of temper, you say?" Mal still sounded all icy, and he was glaring at someone Jayne couldn't see, probably the doctor. "That isn't quite how I would have described it myself."
"Perhaps not." Simon moved into view, and Jayne had to admire the way that little bantam of a man could lock eyes with Mal. "He and I have discussed the issue, however, and come to an understanding. While we are on the same crew, we must be able to trust each other."
"And you trust him, do you?" Mal's jaw jutted out.
"I have to, captain." For once, the doc sounded kinda dignified instead of just prissy. "As you pointed out, I am dependent on you - all of you - to keep me and my crazy sister alive. Trust is a slender thread on which to hang our lives, but it is all I have."
Mal's lips tightened, which usually meant he wanted to say something and was biting down on it. "The two of you talked, you say."
"Yes."
"You think maybe this... fit of temper was something I should have known about?"
"No, Captain, I didn't. It's no secret that you are not overly fond of Jayne. It would have been poor thanks for saving our lives - even if he was the one who put them in danger in the first place - to have him thrown off the ship." Mal was glaring at him. The doc folded his arms and glared right back. "Trust must begin somewhere."
"Cap'n should be told these things," Zoe said quietly. "Ain't for you to make that call, doctor."
"It wasn't fair." The little childish voice surprised everyone down in the hold as much as it startled Jayne, as River padded into view on little bare feet.
"What wasn't fair, child?" Book said gently.
"If I'd hurt Zoe or Kaylee, Captain would have thrown me off the ship. Left me on Ariel to go squish." River gave Mal the cool, accusing look that made Jayne squirm when it was aimed at him. "But Jayne doesn't matter."
"You want I should throw you off the ship? Is that what you want?"
"No. But you did worse than I did."
"How is that, exactly?"
"Jayne didn't like me, and I didn't like him. There's no betrayal where there is no trust, just the knife and the blow answering." She touched her lip where his backhanded blow had split it. "He's been offered money to betray you before, but he didn't take it. He never took it. Two years loyal, doing what he was asked. Then the xiao gui attacks him and you make no nevermind of it, as if his blood is worthless. He was owed more for those two years than you gave him."
Mal went still, the way he did when he didn't want to concede a point he knew was made. "Nobody tells me who can and can't stay on my boat."
River held his eyes. "Nobody else would have had to."
"That don't excuse what he did. He betrayed you and he betrayed me, when he let you be taken."
"You betrayed him first. What trust was there was broken by you, not by him. He was angry and fearful." River shook her head, her loose hair shimmering like brown silk. "Kaylee is right," she said, her voice suddenly small and childlike. "You're mean to him."
"I do not believe what I'm hearing. After all ill he's had to say of you and your brother, not to mention him getting you caught, you're defendin' him?" Mal ran a hand through his hair. "Why?"
"Because he gives me the weapons to fight my nightmares," River said seriously. "He sets me on the path and makes me walk it with my feet."
"He encourages her to be independent," Book said softly. "To be able to survive on her own."
Jayne didn't want to listen anymore. The more soft words he heard the worse it made him feel. Jayne knew he wasn't a good man - he'd never tried to be. He was selfish and greedy and he looked out for himself first and only. Sure he'd been kindly to little River today, but that was only because he'd been enjoying the attention he was getting from other people. And he only did it other times 'cause it made Kaylee and Inara get soft on him, and he liked that. He'd only pushed the kid to be independent because he wouldn't have to trouble with her any more if she was.
And maybe because he felt guilty over Ariel. Maybe just a little because he liked having her trail around after him, admiring him and thinking he was more than a greedy thug who'd sell her out for enough coin. But that was still for him. It weren't done for her.
Moving almost silently, he dumped the food on the table and retreated to his bunk. He usually polished his guns when he needed to take his mind off something, but now they reminded him of all the time he'd spent using them to keep River from bothering him. His knives were already clean and sharp - he'd been teaching her how to look after hers by having her do most of the work on his. It'd seemed kinda clever at the time.
He wound up just sitting, trying to drag his thoughts away from the tangle of guilt in his stomach. He wasn't sure how much later it was when his door opened, and he looked up to see Book peering in. "May I come in, Jayne?"
"'F you want." Jayne looked around automatically when the preacher turned around to come in, and realized that he'd already covered up the porn in case River came in again. That made him feel even worse.
"So. How much of that little discussion did you hear?" Jayne looked up in surprise, and Book raised an eyebrow. "I can't imagine you'd fail to eavesdrop on a conversation that you know involves you. And for once, the fate of the eavesdropper was not to hear ill of himself - at least not entirely."
"Yeah." Jayne hung his head.
"For someone who was being so staunchly defended, you don't seem particularly happy."
"C'n I ask you somethin', Preacher?" Jayne fiddled with one of his knives, just turning it over aimlessly in his hands. "Kind of a moral question?"
"Of course. I've had special training with those."
"If you do something as makes someone happy, and it don't hurt nobody, that counts as somethin' good, right? Even if it was good for you too?"
"Well, that depends." Book sat down on the bunk beside Jayne, sounding thoughtful. "Did you do this thing to make the other person happy, or yourself?"
"Both?" Jayne met Book's questioning look and hastily looked down at his hands again. "I mean, mostly me. But not all of it."
"Well, that's still a little good. Not greatly virtuous, but somewhat good." Book leaned back, resting his hands on his knees. "You've never struck me as the sort to be concerned over the virtue of his behaviour."
"Usually ain't." Jayne didn't know how to explain. He'd resented being so casually shut out of the family growing on Serenity. It'd made him happy when River and Kaylee accepted him as part of it, being so sweet and confiding. But he wasn't entirely sure he wanted the kind of burden that family brought. Life was easier when he only had to worry about himself. "River ain't a bad kid," he said, surprising himself a little. "Crazy, and you zhi sometimes, but she's got guts."
"She does. She fights on, despite trauma that would have reduced many an adult mind to empty despair." Book sounded kinda mournful, like he was sad for her. "Her courage is admirable."
"She's a fighter." That spoke to Jayne. He didn't feel sorry for the kid just 'cause she'd been treated rough. That happened every day, sometimes worse than what had been done to River. But he respected her fight, her struggle to make sense with her broken brain. And it had been... nice... having her nestled in his arms, sleeping with her head on his shoulder. He'd forgotten how that felt, after being away from home for so long.
"That she is." Book was quiet for a little while. "For what it's worth, whatever you've done to teach her to fend for herself is an act of goodness," he said quietly. "That child has had her life controlled by others for far too long. Whether it makes life easier for you or not, to let her find her own feet is a good and worthwhile act."
"Someone's gotta. She don't know no more about survivin' than a baby, an' the doc ain't no better."
"That's true." Book nodded slowly. "Of course, the captain's order that you amuse her aside, teaching her to take care of herself cannot be held to be your responsibility in any way."
Jayne frowned, trying to work out whether that added up to 'good for you' or 'you shouldn't do that'. "Someone's gotta," he said again, figuring that covered it either way.
"Yes." Book nodded, his eyes crinkling up at the corners as he smiled. "And it's a good thing you're doing, Jayne."
"Yeah?" That made him feel...guilty, still, but better. Maybe he could do the odd decent thing without going all sentimental and stupid. "I get points for that?"
Book chuckled. "I'll make a special note of it in my prayers. Points to Jayne for doing good service to another of God's children."
"Thanks." Jayne wasn't a religious man, exactly, but he didn't want to get in bad with God just in case he really was up there. "Uh... maybe you could say a bit about how I ain't taken any of them offers of money to betray the captain, too?"
"I'm sure that God knows, Jayne."
"Well, yeah, but just in case. I coulda, but I didn't."
"Why not?" Book quirked an eyebrow again. "Motivation is important, after all."
Jayne hung his head, feeling silly. "I like it here," he mumbled.
"I'll credit that to loyalty, then." Book stood up, smiling. "Sleep well, Jayne."
Jayne tried, but he had confused dreams of running through the corridors of that hospital with River sleeping in his arms, trying to get away from Feds who threw bibles at his head.
"You defended Jayne. Why?" River had allowed Simon to take her back to bed, but it wasn't the same as being carried there by a stone-man whose usual angry growling was muted to a grumbling purr of reluctant contentment. She had been awake when he picked her up, but by the time he had put her into her bed she had been lulled into sleep by his mind's purr. Then he'd suddenly been wounded and angry and growling again, and she'd had to go see why.
"Because... I don't know, really." Simon smiled ruefully, smoothing her hair. "He still drives me insane. He's crude, he's disgusting, he's stupid... but you like him. And he has tried to look after you, in his unimaginative way."
River graciously allowed Simon to get away with this criticism of her stone-man, since he'd stood up to the Captain so nicely. "He's very linear. I like it."
"I suppose simplicity of mind would make things easier for you." Simon kissed her forehead. "And what I said was true. He could have left us."
"He could." River snuggled into bed, sliding a hand under her pillow to feel for the little knife Jayne had given her. Its presence was comforting. "The Captain is angry with him."
"The Captain doesn't like having to admit that he's wrong." Simon impressed her with this bit of deduction, and she returned his smile. "Kaylee said you had a good day today."
"Kaylee bought shoes for me. Jayne gave me a treat." River looked at the stick of artificially-flavoured cinnamon candy. "He walked proudly in the masses with virtue beside him."
Simon didn't understand, and he kissed her goodnight and went away. She didn't know how to explain how proud it had made Jayne to have people think he was someone decent and worthwhile, to be seen with River and Kaylee beside him. River had held his hand just to enjoy that shy, proud happiness. Simon had felt that way Before, she thought, when he'd introduced his clever sister to his friends. But since she'd become broken, nobody had been proud to be with her. She'd thought it would never happen again.
If the captain was mean to Jayne tomorrow, River was going to make him really, really regret it.
Mal Reynolds was not a happy man.
Kaylee was pouty with him, and it always vexed him when Kaylee was unhappy. Making Kaylee sad was like kicking a puppy - no matter how gorram annoying the thing was, you felt as guilty as sin as soon as you'd taken your swing. And as for young Doctor Tam - Mal wanted to be very, very angry with him for not telling Mal what he knew about Jayne's treachery, but that would have led almost immediately to why Mal hadn't told the doctor what he knew about said treachery, and while it had seemed best at the time Mal knew he'd have some trouble justifying the decision now.
Kaylee and Book carried the conversation at breakfast. Zoe was being so stoic she was hardly breathing, Wash was deeply confused and not sure whether to side with his wife or not, the doctor was deliberately and with intent using table-manners to be annoying and River was ignoring the single pancake on her plate in favour of staring at Mal with her creepiest fixed stare. Mal had a strong feeling that River was not happy with the way he'd cut the discussion off and ordered her to bed last night.
Jayne was sitting with his head down, uncharacteristically silent. He was eating, right enough, because it took a lot to put Jayne off his food, especially when it was real food. But he looked like something was on his mind, which wasn't an expression Mal was much accustomed to seeing on Jayne's face.
"Does the job start today?" Kaylee said, when Book had run out of comments to make on the weather and was starting to look desperate.
"Won't be loading the cargo up until tomorrow, leaving as soon as it's done. You've all got today to do with as you will." Mal took a mouthful of pancake. "At least, so long as what you will includes cleanin'. Want Serenity to look shiny for our nice new client, don't we?"
"Yessir," Kaylee muttered, looking downright mopey again. Probably hoping for some private time with Simon so he could insult her again. Boy did keep on doing that.
"Good." Mal grinned. Time to remind everyone who was in charge here. "Wash, clean out the cockpit. Zoe, you get the excitement of shuttle two." Shuttle one, Inara's, was locked up. He saw no reason for that not to continue. "Shepherd, I believe it's your turn to handle kitchen cleanup. Kaylee, I do not want to see any evidence of space-monkeys when I show the nice client how reliable our engines are. Doctor, when the infirmary is shiny you can make sure the walkways are clear and free of any noticeable chunks of garbage. Jayne, clear as much space as you can on the hold floor and hose it down. River, you be helpful where and as you can."
There were quiet murmurs of assent, and then Kaylee looked up. "Uhm... Cap'n?"
"Yes?" There was a decided edge to Mal's tone. He felt just a little guilty for talking to Kaylee that way, but not much.
"It ain't Jayne's turn to do the hold," she said, addressing her plate quietly. "He's done it the last two times as is."
Mal frowned. Now that he thought on it, Jayne had spent a lot of time cleaning the hold lately. He'd forgotten, but damned if he was going to back down now. "I wasn't inviting a discussion, Kaylee. This is me telling, not me asking."
"But it's the biggest and hardest job." Kaylee looked at Mal like he was eating kitten pancake. "It ain't fair to-"
"Forget it." Jayne pushed his plate away, despite there still being some morsels of food on it. Mal had never seen Jayne push food away before.
"But Jayne -"
"Leave it, Kaylee. I'll do the hold." Jayne shrugged and got up from the table without looking at anyone.
"Jayne..." That was Book, sounding concerned.
Jayne didn't say a word, just walked out of the galley.
River followed him, choosing for some reason to crawl under the table instead of walking around it.
Kaylee's lip trembled. "He heard what you said last night, I know he did. Now his feelings is hurt."
Mal shifted uncomfortably. Up until now he would have laid money that Jayne didn't have feelings to hurt, but rejecting food and and agreeing to clean the hold without so much as a whine were things Jayne hadn't ever done before. "Eavesdroppers don't generally hear good of themselves."
"I think I'll just go make sure my quarters are in order before I start in here." Book left, giving Mal an unreadable look. Disappointed, maybe, but there was more to it.
"I should go make sure River isn't bothering Jayne." Simon set his knife and fork tidily together and slipped away, bestowing a smile on Kaylee that lightened the threatened tear-storm a little.
"Well. This is awkward." Wash reached over and helped himself to River's untouched food. "Would we like to discuss this now, or does anyone else have pointed leaving to do?"
"I better go make sure there ain't no monkeys in the engines." Kaylee's voice was wobbling, and she hurried away with what might or might not have been a swipe at her eyes.
"That went well." Zoe spoke, finally moving from her near immobility to look down the almost empty table.
Mal rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "That it did. My entire crew is in the sulks, excepting Wash, who prefers witty little remarks, and you. Maybe you. It's really hard to tell if you're sulking, what with you being so stoic and all."
"Oh, it's not so hard. She gets a tone, when she's sulking. It's subtle but unmistakeable." Wash speared another piece of pancake, looked at it, and lowered it to his plate again. "You're both wrong, you know."
"Excuse me?" Zoe didn't sound pleased.
"About Jayne. I hate to say it, kitten-pie, but you're wrong and Kaylee is right." Wash sighed. "There goes some of my easiest witty material, but there it is."
"In what exact way are we wrong, Wash?" Mal felt his temper starting a slow simmer again. "Tell me where, exactly, we have made our misjudgement of Jayne's character."
"It's not a where. It's a when." Wash sounded unwontedly serious. "Look, I felt the exact same way when we took him on. He was stupid, he was cu cao, he was gorram treacherous as evidenced by his willingness to shoot his last employer in the leg when you gave him a better offer. But that was two years ago, Mal, and your judgement is a little out of date now."
"And you think he's changed since then?" Zoe raised an eyebrow.
"I think he's trying to." Wash laid down his fork and rested his elbows on the table. "It's taken him quite a while, which shouldn't surprise anyone given that he can't even read actual writing without running his finger along under the words, but he has actually started to take in some of the relatively refined moral atmosphere of Serenity. And you two can't or won't see it."
"It's not so much I don't see it as I don't believe it." Mal frowned. "He's up to something."
"Yes. Of course. Buying candy for River and teaching her to throw knives is all part of his evil master plan." Wash rolled his eyes. "Even Jayne can want to be a better man, as unlikely as that sounds. Especially if what happened on Ariel was his fault."
"Oh, it surely was." Mal's lips tightened. River had almost certainly had the right of Jayne's thoughts on that matter, and he wasn't entirely comfortable knowing that Jayne had had some kind of justification for feeling that Mal had betrayed him first.
"So, he gets a wake-up call that's loud enough even for him." Wash shrugged. "Maybe realizes how close he came to letting that innocent if crazy child get dragged away and tortured. Not to mention the whole mess on Canton. He has been trying, Mal. The amount of time he spends with River is proof of that all by itself."
"He does that because I pay him to."
"Mal, you pay him to watch her when everyone else is busy. You don't pay him to spend hours working out with her, or finding her when she's hiding, or catching her when she jumps off high things, or having long conversations with her in the hold when everyone else is asleep."
"There are long conversations? Since when are there long conversations?" Mal frowned. He didn't like the sound of that. "How do you know about this?"
"I've caught them at it a couple of times, when I've been up late doing course corrections." Wash shrugged. "The first time I think they were talking about the life-cycle of the sturgeon. Well, River was. Jayne was mostly lifting weights and talking about fishing."
"The life-cycle of the sturgeon." Mal felt his eyebrows make a break for his hairline. "Well, that's... innocuous."
"The second time she was quiet and Jayne was telling her some story about how he got one of his guns. You know the kind of thing... there were a dozen big brawny men who he killed with his teeth and pocket-knife. She seemed enthralled." Wash shrugged. "Mal, he likes her. And I think Kaylee has a point - Jayne deserves to be treated like part of the crew, grotesque and crude though he is. He's like that cousin that nobody really gets along with but who you have to put up with because he's family."
"But..." Zoe shook her head. "I know what you mean, honey, I do, but he's so... himself."
Mal gritted his teeth. Oh, he did hate this so much. "Wash has a point, Zoe."
She looked dubious. "You think so?"
"Jayne's been doin' his best to act like a decent human being of late. Ain't saying he's been doin' it well, but he's tryin' and that should count for something. He was mighty shaken after we left Canton. And Ariel."
"Even so, sir... Men like Jayne don't change as a rule."
"There are exceptions to every rule, Zoe. Ain't saying we should trust him as yet, but maybe it's time we gave him a chance to earn a little trust. We'll just... see how he does."
"If you say so, sir," Zoe said, her expression indicating that she had doubts but would allow him to have his way for now.
"I do say so." Mal stood up.
More accurately, Mal tried to stand up, felt his foot suddenly yanked back under the table, found the other foot mysteriously immobile, and fell backwards, knocking his chair over and landing flat on his back with an interestingly bruised hip thanks to the chair arm and a number of stars dancing in front of his eyes courtesy of the floor that had just smacked him in the back of the head.
"Sir, what -" Zoe tried to get up and then fell back into her chair as Mal's leg was yanked at sudden-like.
"Stay still." Wash ducked under the table, then laughed quietly. "Ah. I think River's still unhappy with you, Captain. She appears to have tied your right bootlace to the leg of the table, and your left to Zoe's right."
"Could you untie us, dear?" Zoe sounded more than a little put out.
Mal agreed with her on that. "You know, new kindly attitude to him aside, this stuff is funnier when she does it to Jayne."
"No argument here." Wash chuckled as he tugged at Mal's boots. "Just one more second... there. All laces are back where they belong."
Mal sat up, shaking his head. "Right. That's it."
"Mal, what are you - "
Mal ignored Wash, limping out to the walkway in as dignified a manner as he could. Jayne was still moving the assorted boxes and crap over to one side, with River sitting on his weight bench and apparently issuing orders. The stack was unusually tidy, for Jayne's work. "River!"
"Huh?" Jayne turned, and his face went wooden when he saw Mal.
River folded her arms. "What?"
"Young lady, if you ever try a stunt like that again I will personally put you over my knee and spank you." Mal glared at her. Softening on Jayne he might be, just a little, but River had been a thorn in his side ever since the dove speech.
River smirked. "If you keep your feet stuck in the mud, you have to expect to fall down."
"What?" Jayne was looking puzzled. "What stunt?"
"She tied my bootlaces to Zoe's. Had one of us gotten up sudden there could have been bleeding and concussing." Mal resisted the urge to rub his bruised hip. "I've put up with enough of your little pranks, missy. This is going to be the last or you will be spanked and sent to bed without supper."
Jayne mumbled something that might well have been "Just because this is the first time it ain't been me."
River glared in her best creepy fashion. "I know where you sleep."
"And I know where you sleep, which will not be on this boat for much longer if you don't start behaving yourself." Mal bit back the rest of the tirade and took a deep breath. He hadn't come in here to shout at the child, it just kept happening of itself. "Jayne..."
"What?" Jayne didn't quite meet Mal's eyes.
"I've changed my mind. I'll deal with the hold. You take the brat outside and... I don't know, do some target practice or shoot some rabbits or something. I don't care. Just take her away and keep her out of my sight."
"But..." Jayne looked at the box in his hands. "Mal, you sure?"
"Yes. Positive." Mal relieved his feelings by scowling ferociously at the little pest sitting demurely on the padded bench. "Don't lose her, and don't let her shoot anyone."
"Uh... sure, I guess." Jayne shrugged, still looking perplexed. "River, go get your shoes and them empty cans."
"I do not understand the obsession everyone on this boat has with my footwear." River sighed deeply and scampered off to her room.
"You sure you don't want me to finish this first?" Jayne indicated the pile of crates.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Kaylee's right, it ain't your turn." Mal sighed. He knew Kaylee would expect apologies, explanations, and possibly some hugging. Damned if he'd embarrass himself so. "Ain't ever got the impression you minded my temper. Don't start now. It ain't... personal."
"Yeah it is. Sometimes." Jayne didn't seem inclined to let things drop, unfortunately.
"And sometimes it ain't. Sometimes I just can't yell at the person I'm really mad at on account of they're too little and inclined to cryin' and the like." Or because they're not here.
Jayne blinked a couple times, seeming to think that over, and then he nodded. "Don't bother me," he said, shrugging. "Ain't gonna get all fussy over hurt feelin's and such like I was a girl or somethin'."
Mal relaxed. Good. They had an understanding. Jayne knew as Mal tried not to shout at the girls when he could avoid it - though River was annoying him mightily just now - and would take the sniping at him as a matter of Mal not having anyone else to bitch at who wouldn't get upset about it. "Good. There's enough fussin' on this boat without you coming over all sensitive."
Jayne looked affronted. "Sensitive? Me?"
"A laughable notion, I own. Take the girl away, buy her more candy if you have to, just... keep her busy. The doc can't keep her under control worth a damn and she's getting on my last nerve."
xiao gui - little demon (affectionate term for a naughty child)
hai chong - injurious insect, pest
biao mei - female cousin
biao xiong - male cousin
mei mei - younger sister
yu chun - stupid
zi you - freedom, liberty
go se - crap, lit dog excrement
you zhi - childish
cu cao - crude, coarse
xiao zang gui - dirty little ghost (another term for a naughty child who has gotten very dirty)